tii: 


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I 


CHRISTIAN  CORRESPONDENCL 

BEING 

A  COLLECTION  OF  LETTERS, 

WRITTEN    BY    THE    I.ATE 

REV.  JOHN  WESLEY. 

AND    SEVERAL 

METHODIST  PREACHERS, 

IN  CONNECTION  WITH  HIM. 
TO  THE  Late 

MRS.  ELIZA:  BENNIS, 

WITH  HER  ANSWERS, 


I 


Chiefly  Explaining  and  Enforcing  the  Doctrine   of 
Sanctijication. 


HOW  FIRST  PUBLISHED  FROM  THE  ORIGINALS. 


PHILADELPHIA 


i'aiNTtD  BY  B.GRAVES,  NO.  40,  NORTH  FOt'RTH  STREET5 
1?0H  THOMAS  BENNIS,  NO.   121,  MULBERRY  STREET. 

1809. 


District  of  Pennsylvania,  to  <U)ii  .• 

BE  it  remembered,  that  on  the  tenth  day  of  May,  in  the 
thirty-third  Year  of  tlie  Independence  of  the  United  States 
of  America,  A.  D.  1809 ;  Thomas  Bennis  of  the  said  District, 
hath  deposited  in  this  office,  the  Title  of  a  Book,  the  Right 
whereof  he  claims  as  Proprietor,  in  the  words  following,  to 
wit : 

"  Christian  Correspondence.. ..being  A  Collection  of  Let- 
ters, written  by  the  late  Rev.  John  Wesley.  And  several 
Methodist  Preachers,  in  connection  with  him.  To  the  late 
Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis,  with  her  answers.  Chiefly  explaining  the 
and  Enforcing  the  Doctrine  of  Sanctification.  Now  first  pub- 
lished from  the  Originals.'* 

In  Conformity  to  the  Act  of  the  Congress  of  the  United 
States,  intituled,  '*  Act  for  the  Encouragement  of  Learning, 
by  securing  the  Copies  of  Maps,  Charts,  and  books,  to  the 
Authors  and  Proprietoi's  of  such  Copies  during  the  Times 
therein  mentioned."  And  also  to  the  Act,  entitled  *'  An  Act 
.supplementary  to  an  Act,  entitled,  "An  Act  for  the  Encour- 
agement of  Learning,  by  securing  the  Copies  of  Maps,  Charts, 
and  Books,  to  the  Authors  and  Proprietors  of  such  Copies  du- 
ring the  Time  therein  mentioned,"  and  extending  the  Benefits 
thereof  to  the  Arts  of  designing,  engraving,  and  etching 
historical  and  other  Prints." 
I    (  L.  S.  )  D.   CALDWELL, 

Clerk  of  tie  Disttict  of  Pennyslvania. 


mm  THE 


t. 


i*% 


f\DVERTISEMENT. 


THE  Publisher  declines  writing  any  re- 
gular Preface  to  the  following  pages,  lest  it 
lioiild  be  considered  a  panegyric  on  his  de- 
eased  mother;.,. Her  works  now  praise  her  in 
the  Gate.... To  all  who  were  acquainted  with 
her;  her  worth  was  well  known.... and  to  those 
who  did  not  kno^v  her,  her  character  v/ill 
shine  with  more  lustre  from  these  letters,than 
by  any  encomiums  that  might  be  heaped  on 
it.... 

Hilt  he  thin^ii!  U  \V^':''-i:S  W}  ::..■.../..;  l^.J  ;c:t^■- 

r  how  he  came  by  these  letters.... On  his  mo- 
ther's death...  (in  Philadelphia,  June  1802).. .» 
her  books  and  papers  devolved  to  him,  among 
which  were  theOriginals  from  whence  thepre- 
sent  work  is  copied,  their  perusal  often  afford- 
ed much  satisfuCtion  to  him  and  family,  and  on 
occasionally  reading  a  few  of  them  to  some  re- 
ligious friends,  they  advised  their  publicatiou. 
urging  as  a  reason,  that  they  had  found  much 


.     iv      ; 

christian  strength  and  benefit  from  them;  and 
that  it  was  a  duty  incumbent  on  the  possessor 
to  extend  their  usefuliness... under  this  idea, 
they  are  now  presented  to  the  public,  in  their 
native  garb... (a  few  local  circumstances  only 
being  suppressed)  and  if  they  should  be  made 
a  means  in  the  hands  of  God,  of  awakening, 
convincing  or  comforting  Oiie  Soul,  the  pub- 
lisher's trouble  Vvili  be  fully  repaid. 

THOMAS  BENNIS. 
'Philadelphia,  May  1 809. 


CHRISTIAN  CORRESPONDENCE 

BEING 

A  COLLECTION  OF  LETTERS, 

WRITTEN    BY    THE    LATE 

REV.  JOHN  WESLEY. 

THE    LATE 

MRS.  ELIZA     BENNi;S. 

AND    OTHERS 


LETTER  L 

From   Mrs.   Eliza     Bennis......To   the  Rev. 

John  Wesley. 

Limerick^  August  2,  1763. 

REV.  AND  DEAR  SIR, 

AFTER  many  struggles,  (from  a  sense 
of  my  inability),  I  have  at  last  ventured  to 
lay  the  state  of  my  mind  before  you,  request- 
ing your  opinion  and  advice. 

About  four  years  ago,  I  was  given  to  sec 
the  absolute  necessity  of  holiness  of  heart,.... 
was  burdened  under  the  weight  of  my  corrup- 
tions, and  could  not  be  satisfied,  with  less 
A  2 


(      6      ) 

than  a  total  deliverance,.... though  Mr.  Oliv- 
ers (who  was  then  stationed  here)  preached 
this  doctrine,  yet  very  lew  would  receive  it; 
so  that  I  was  partly  reasoned  and  partly  laugh- 
ed  out  ot  my  earnestness,  and  by  degrees  lost 
all  hope  and  desire  after  it,  and  sunk  into  a 
dead  formal  state,  'till  I  became  a  back-slider 
in  heart,  having  only  the  sad  remembrance 
of  what  I  lost,... this  made  me  completely  mi- 
serable,  because  truly  sensible  of  my  state, 
but  as  utterly  unable  to  struggle  out  of  it,  as 
lo  create  a  new  world.  In  this  state  1  was, 
when  you  were  last  here,... the  doctrine  of  ho- 
liness which  you  then  revived,  however  desi- 
•rable  in  itself,  only  tended  to  aggravate  my 
guilt;.. .the  beauty  of  holiness  stood  continu- 
ally before  me,  but  I  dared  not  reach  after  it, 
it  seemed  as  the  childrens  bread  which  I  must 
not  touch;  till  in  one  of  your  sermons  you 
described  my  state  more  clearly  than  I  could 
myself,  and  desired  **  that  such  should  not  be 
dismayed,  but  seek  after  both  pardon,  and 
holiness,  that  God  was  able  to  give  the  two 
blessings  at  once,  and  you  did  not  find  it  said 
in  scripture  that  he  would  not;"  these  words 
^came  with  such  power  to  my  soul,  and  garc 


(  ?  ) 

me  such  encouragement,  that  I  was  deter- 
mined never  to  rest  'till  God  had  made 
me  a  witness  of  this  truth.  In  a  few  weeks 
after,  the  Lord  did  heal  my  back-slidings,  and 
greatly  refresh  my  soul ;  but  this  did  not  suf- 
fice ;  I  found  still  an  evil  heart  of  unbelief, 
bent  to  back- slide  from  God;  a  stubborn  per- 
verse will,  that  would  not  be  subject  to  the 
Divine  will ;  and  an  enmity  in  my  heart 
against  God,  neither  could  I  give  up  all  for 
him.... I  found  many  idols  in  my  heart,  which 
I  had  not  power  to  give  up,  though  I  griev- 
ed to  see  them  there,... in  this  state  I  could 
not  rest  and  was  determined  I  would  not ;  but 
here  the  fear  of  deceiving  myself,  made  me 
put  the  blessing  from  me,  I  looked  for  it  to 
come  with  observation,  and  was  not  content 
to  receive  it  in  the  ^^  small  still  voice, ^^  I  had 
large  manifestations  of  the  love  of  God,  and 
many  comfortable  texts  of  scripture  occurred 
to  me,  and  my  soul  at  times  emptied  of  all 
but  God,  yet  could  not  receive  this  as  the 
blessing  I  was  seeking,  because  the  measure- 
of  joy  I  felt,  was  not  greater  than  what  I  had= 
often  before  experienced,  though  my  com- 
forts were    stronger;   thus    I   continued  for 


C      8       ) 

some  time,  resisting  the  grace  of  God,  and 
\<^ould  not  receive  him  in  his  own  way,  least  I 
should  deceive  myself,  'till  I  fell  back  again 
into  my  former  state ;  feeling  the  weight  of 
my  corruptions  more  than  ever;  then  I  could 
clearly  see  I  had  resisted  the  graceof  God,... 
but  soon  determined  never  to  rest  with- 
out it,  and  was  now  content  to  receive  him 
in  his  own  way,  content  to  be  any  things  to 
die  if  only  by  death  I  might  be  delivered  from 
my  burden... thus  I  remained  'till  the  22nd 
May  last,  (being  Whit  Sunday)  when  going 
to  the  Lord's- Tabic  heavy  laden  with  the  bur- 
den of  my  coiTuptions,  but  particularly  be- 
cause of  the  enmity  I  found  in  my  heart 
against  God,  I  there  found  my  burden  much 
heavierand  therefore  cried  the  more  earnestly, 
when  these  words  were  applied  to  my  heart, 
^^  helie^est  thou  that  I  am  able  to  do  thisV^ 
my  soul  immediately  answered.  Lord  I  be- 
lieve thou  art  able ;  the  word  came  again  ^ 
**  Be  it  unto  thee  according  to  thy  faith''''  here 
unbelief  came  in,  and  raised  disturbance  in 
my  soul,  and  I  could  only  cry,  Lordgiiie  me 
faith  i"*^  I  was  now  filled  with  large  expecta- 
tion and  a  firm  persuasion  that  God  would 


(  9  ) 

bless  me,  thus  I  continued  till  the  second  of 
June,  when  at  prayer  I  found  in  a  moment 
my  idols  taken  away,  and  my  will  wholly 
subjected  to  the  will  of  God... nothing  re- 
mained in  my  lieart  to  oppose  his  will  or 
work,  and  such  a  measure  of  peace  and  love 
poured  into  my  soul,  as  left  no  room  for 
doubt,... I  had  not  at  this  time  such  a  mea- 
sure of  joy,  as  I  have  often  had  before,  but 
such  a  calm  serenity  of  soul  as  I  had  never  be- 
fore experienced,!  sought  for  my  corruptions 
but  could  not  find  them ;  the  enmity  that  was 
before  in  my  heart  was  taken  away  and  it  was 
filled  with  love  both  to  God  and  his  people, 
and  so  far  as  I  have  stated  it  still  continues, 
only  with  this  difference,  I  often  find  heavi- 
ness of  soul  and  then  am  apt  to  suspect  my 
love  to  God,  I  know  of  no  competitor  he  has 
in  my  soul  at  any  time,  but  cannot  at  all  times 
find  my  affections  warm  to  him, . .  .my  thoughts 
are  not  always  on  God  or  the  things  of  God, 
even  when  they  are  not  necessarily  employed 
they  are  frequently  taken  away  on  I  know 
not  what,  and  it  is  hard  to  stay  them  aright ; 
I  frequently  find  deadness  in  prajer,  and  ab- 
sence under  the  word,  I  do  not  ahvays  sec 


(      10     ) 

God  ;  in  employment  and  conversation  my 
eye  is  often  taken  off  from  him,  and  some- 
tim  esa  thoughtless  forgetful  spirit... .Indeed 
hitherto  the  lord  has  kept  me  from  sin,  I  find 
no  desire  towards  it,  I  love  the  law  and  purity 
of  God,  and  find  a  jealousy  over  myself  lest 
I  should  even  in  thought  offend,  I  find  no 
condemnation,  but  do  ahvays  even  in  the 
most  grievous  temptations  know  that  God  for 
Christ's  sake  has  forgiven  my  sins... this  evi- 
dence I  have  had  clear  without  intermission 
since  the  second  of  June,  which  I  could  never 
say  before,  for  in  temptations  it  was  often 
clouded,  but  now  Satan  seems  to  level  his  darts 
against  this  late  work  that  God  has  wrought  in 
me,  and  indeed  I  find  his  temptations 
sharp,  strong  and  continued,  insomuch  that 
it  is  f-'?n-iei-i.nes  Inird  lo  Lt:iud  c^r^r^^nu  ihcni,, 
and  am  often  at  a  loss  to  know  whether  they  be 
temptations  or  not ;  and  am  often  tempted  to 
think  I  keep  a  presumptuous  hold,... I  almost 
continually  have  questionings  in  my  mind 
concerning  it,  and  often  think  the  blessings 
have  received  are  only  the  effects  of  justifying 
faith,  tho'  I  find  I  would  not  be  satisfied  with 
this, and  do  earnestly  desire  the  witness  of  the 


(  11 

spirit  to  ascertain  whjil  God  has  wrought ;  but 
find  freqiu  nt  reprools  for  this,  telling  me  that 
God  has  not  cleansed  my  heart,  therefore  that 
it  is  not  right  I  should  look  for  the  witness  ; 
that  when  he  does  the  one,  he  will  give  the 
other.... Indeed  I  think  the  words  sanctifica- 
tiouj  a  c/ea?i  heart,  and  lovifig  God  with  all  the 
heart,  are  great  expressions,  and  such  as  I 
cannot  appropriate  to  my  state,  because  of  the 
deficiencies  I  have  already  mentioned,  there- 
fore request  your  thoughts  and  advice.  And 
am  Rev.  and  dear  sir, 

Your  Respectful  and  Affectionate 
Friend  in  Christ  Jesus, 

ELIZA  BENNIS. 


LETTER  IL 


Rev  John  Wesley....to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis. 

Pembroke  August,  23,  1763. 
My  Dear  Sister. 

You  did  well  to  write,  this  is  one  of 
the  means  which  God  genenally  uses  to 
convey  either  light  or  comfort ;  even  while 
you   are  writing  you  will  often  find    relief, 


(      12     ) 

frequently  while   we  propose  a  doubt  it  is  re- 
moved. 

There  is  no  doubt  but  what  you  at  first  ex- 
perienced was  a  real  foretaste  of  the  blessing, 
altho'  you  was  not  properly  possessed  of  it, 
Hill  the  Whitsunday  following;  but  it  is  very 
possible  to  cast  away  the   gift  of  God,   or  to 
lose  it,  by  little  arid  little... tho'  I  trust  this  is 
not  the  case  with  you,  and   yet  you  may  fre- 
quently be  in  heaviness,   and  may  find  your 
love  to  God  not  near  so  warm  at  some  times, 
as  it  is  at  others,  many  wanderings  likewise, 
and   many  deficiencies,  arc  consistent   with 
pure  love;   but  the  thing  you  want  is,  the 
abiding  witness  of  the  Spirit  touching  thisvery 
thing.  And  this  you  may  boldly  claim,  on  the 
warrant   of  that  word  **  we  have  received  the 
Spirit   that  is   of  God;  that  we  may  kncm  the 
things  which  are  freely  given  to  us  of  God,^^ 
I  am,  my  Dear  Sister, 

Your  Affectionate  Brother, 

JOHN  WESLEY 


(    ^s    ) 
LETTER   in. 

Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis....to  the  Kevd.  John  Wesley. 
Limerick^  March*  11,  liTOG. 

Revd.  and  dear  sir. 

WHEN  you  were  last  here,  my  state  was  a 
mixture  of  happiness  and  distress,  I  found  an 
entire  deliverance   from  that  natural  propen- 
sity to  evil  which  for  many  years  before  had 
beset  me,  and  had  the  clear  testimony  of  my 
heart's  being  cleansed  from  sin  ;  but  finding 
many  things  in  myself,  which  I  did  no  expect 
in  that  state,  I  gave  way  to  fearfulness  and 
unbelief....  'Till  God  withdrew  this  evidence 
from  me,  but  did  not  withdraw  his  grace,  his 
work    in  my  heart  was  still  the  same,  and 
sometimes  shone  by  its  own  light ;    but  this 
oould  not  satisfy,  I    was   often  under  painful 
uncertainty   concerning  my  state,  I  was   iix-. 
deed  happy,  yet  the  fear  of  sin  lurking  in  my 
heart  pained  my  very  soul,  I  now  saw  and  be-< 
moaned  my  loss,  and  could  not  be  satisfied  'till 
I  had  again  received  the  testimony  of  God*s 
spirit  that  my  heart  was  cleansed  from  sin  yet 
my  ignorance  and  carnal  understanding  often 
B 


v; 


^    14    ; 

blocked  up  the  way;... at  this  time,  I  became 
acquainted  with  a  gentleman  from  Holland, 
(who  was  on  business  in  this  city)  he  was  a 
Godly  man,  and  had  a  deep  work  of  grace 
wrought  on  his  heart... the  Lord  did  often 
bless  us  together,  and  gave  me  much  light  in 
conversing  with  him.. .after  some  time,  here- 
quested  I  would  give  him  my  experience  hi 
writing,  which  I  did  not  wish  to  do  for  two 
reasons,... first,  lest  thro'  ignorance  I  should 
only  darken  what  I  attempted  to  explain,  and 
secondly,  if  I  wrote  I  must  do  it  honestly, 
and  confess  that  I  had  lost  the  witness  of  my 
sanctification,  and  this  might  appear  to  him 
(who  was  not  clear  concerning  this  work)  as 
tho'  I  had  only  deceived  myself  in  the  matter, 
and  lessen  the  work  in  his  eyes.... But  he  urg- 
ing the  request,  and  a  christian  friend  with 
whom  I  advised  recommending  me  to  comply, 
I  reluctantly  began  the  task,  leaving  the  event 
to  God;  yet  earnestly  wrestlingfor  the  witness; 
when  one  day  while  employed  in  this  business, 
I  w'as  struck  with  a  sentence  I  had  just  wrote, 
and  enabled  to  believe,  and  found  in  that  mo- 
ment the  testimony  of  God*s  spirit,  that  my 
heart  was  cleansed  from  sin,... since  then  the 


.  .oi\\  bus  enabled  me  more  than  ever,  to  re 
c[\:\cc  my  o"ivn  wisdom,  and  attend   more 
raiply  to  the    teachings   of  his  spirit,  which 
iiables  me  to  go  on  with  more  steadiness  and 
omfort...!  now  see,    that  I  expected  many 
things  in  a  sanctified  state,  which  belong  to  a 
;;lonfied....'i'he   servant  would  be  above  his 
]^ord...yLt  it  is  a  blessed    state,  a  glorious  li 
berty,  a  happy  rest,  and  I  find  the  more  confi- 
dent I  am  in  v/hat  my  God  has  done  for  me, 
'he  more  liappy  I  am. 

I  do  not  see  why  the  people  of  God  should 
stumble  at  words  which  declare  his  Vv  ork  ;  is 
It  not  more  pleasing  to  him,  that  we  should 
(when  called  to  it)  declare  to  the  full  c  xtent 
what  he  has  done  for  us,  than  out  of  (false) 
prudence  or  discretion  hide  any  part  r  surely 
this  would  not  be  doing  him  justice;  I  would 
be  thankful  for  your  opinion  on  this ;  as  also, 
if  there  be  not  as  absolute  a  necessity  for  press- 
ing sanctification  on  believers,  as  for  press- 
ing justification  on  penitents....!  v/ould  also 
request  your  judgment  concerning  other  mat- 
ters, which  arc  at  times  made  very  clear  to 
my  mind,  yet  am  afraid  to  trust  to  these  sud- 
den illuminations  (if  I  may  call  them  so)  lest 


(  16  ) 

there  should  be  any  degree  of  my  own  wis- 
dom in  them  ;  I  desire  to  be  taught  of  God 
and  you,  and  indeed  by  any  whom  God  shall 
send. 

Is  sin  (either  more  or  less)  some  degree  of 
rebellion  in  the  will?  and  where  there  is  no 
degree  of  rebellion  in  the  will,  ean  there  be 
sin  ? 

May  there    rot  be   many  imperfections, 
V.  here  there  is  no  sin  ?  nay  must  it  not  be  un- 
avoidably so,  as  a  consequence  of  the  fall ;  our 
bodies  and  all  their  fliculties  having  suffered 
greatly  by  it,  and  left  in  a  shattered  imperfect 
state,  nnd  so  derecti\e  in  every  part,  as  leaves 
us  quite  incapable  of  acting,  thinking,  or  judg- 
ing perfectly  right  in  every   thing.... Now  are 
these  bv  this  m.eans  become  our  natural  infir- 
mities,  taken    up  and    laid   down    with  the 
body,  Vitii]  therefore  not  inconsistent  with  an 
heart  cleansed  from  sin  ? 

So  long  as  I  find  vny  \vill  wholly  given  up 
to,  and  svrceily  lost  in  the  will  of  God,  (not- 
Withsti.ndirg  my  many  defects,)  do  I  sin  ?  or 
rather  do  not  all  these  things  Vvhich  before 
rp])eared  a-,  inconsistencies  vanish  as  such, 
and  appear   to  be   mere    natural    infirmitie*-* 


(  ir  ) 

vvhlch  ^ve  must  cany  about  with  us  as  a 
mark  of  our  fallen  state,  as  a  badge  of  our  po- 
vcrty,  and  the  consequence  of  our  first  pa- 
rents sin. 

I  know  not    whether  I  have  stated  these 

matters  right,  but  requesting  you    to  make 

allowance  for  my  ignorance,    and   to  set  me 

right  by  your  opinion  and  advice.    I  remain, 

Rev.  and  dear  Sir, 

Kespectfully  and  Affectionately, 
Yours  in  our  Lord  Jesus. 

ELIZA  BENNIS. 


LETTER   IV. 

Rev.   John  Wesley. ...to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis, 

Manchester,  March,  29,  1706. 
My  Dear  Sister. 

ONE  of  our  preachers  has  lately  advanced 

fa  new  position  among  us,,.. That  there  is  no 

direct  or  immediate  witness  of  sanctification, 

but  only  a  perception  or  conscioi^sness,  thnt 

B  S 


(     18     )  '' 

we  are  changed,  filled  with  love,  and  cleansed 
from  sin.... But  if  I  understand  you  right,  you 
find  a  direct  testimony,  that  you  are  a  child 
of  God. 

Now  certainly  if  God  has  given  you  this 
light,  he  did  not  intend  that  you  should  hide  it 
under  a  bushel.... It  is  good  to  conceal  the  se- 
crets of  a  king,  but  it  is  good  to  tell  the  lov- 
ing kindness  of  the  Lord.... Every  one  ought 
to  declare  what  God  has  done  for  his  soul,  and 
that  with  all  simplicity ;  only  care  is  to  be  ta- 
ken, to  declare  to  several  persons,  tbat  part 
of  our  own  experience,  which  they  are  seve- 
rally able  to  bear,  and  some  parts  of  it,  to  such 
alone  as  are  upright  and  simple  of  heart. 

One  reason  -why  those  who  are  saved  from 
sin  should  freely  declare  it  to  believers,  is  be- 
cause nothing  is  a  stronger  incitement  to 
them,  to  seek  after  the  same  blessing.  And 
we  ought  by  every  possible  means,  to  press 
every  serious  believer,  to  forget  the  things 
which  are  behind,  and  with  all  earnestness  go 
on  to  perfection.  Indeed  if  they  are  not  thirst- 
ing after  this,  it  is  scarce  possible,  to  keep 
what  they  have  ;   they  can  hardly  retain  any 


(  19  ) 

power  of  faith,  if  they  are  not  panting  after 
holiness. 

A  thousand  infirmities  are  consistent  with 
even  the  highest  degree  of  holiness  ;  which  is 
no  other  than  pure  love,  an  heart  devoted  to 
God  ;  one  design  and  one  desire....  Then 
whatever  is  done  either  in  word  or  deed,  may- 
be done  in  the  name  of  the  Lord  Jesus, 
Press  after  all  the  residue  of  the  promises. 

I  am  My  Dear  Sister, 

Your  Affectionate  Brother, 

JOHN  WESLEY- 


LETTER  y. 

?Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to  the  Rev.  John  Wesley. 

Limerick^  July^  10.    1766. 
Dear  Sir. 

I  RECEIVED  yours  of  29th.  March, 
wherein  you  mention  that  **  one  of  our 
preachers  has  lately  advanced  a  new  position; 
that  there  is  no  direct  or  immediate  witness 
of  the  work  of  sanctification,  but  only  a  pert 


(    20     ; 

ception  or  consciousness  that  we  are  chang- 
ed.-' 

I  believe  there  is  no  passing  through  such  a 
change,  without  being  sensible  that  a  change 
is  VvTOUght ;  but  how  can  any  know  what  the 
grace  is  which  they  have  been  made  parta- 
ker of,  without  the  direct  testimony  of  God's 
spirit ;...  if  Satan  was  bound,  so  that  he  should 
never  have  power  to  disturb  such  souls,  then 
the  work  wrought  on  the  heart  might  always 
be  manifest  ;...but  are  there  not  times  when 
the  powers  of  darkness  shew  their  strenght, 
do  they  not  often  raise  a  mist  in  the  soul  which 
clouds  almost  every  grace,  and  then  throAvs 
in  a  multitude  of  doubts  and  questionings  into 
the  mind,  and  in  this  case  is  there  not  need 
of  a  direct  testimony  from  God?.., if  this  be 
not  attainable  what  shall  comfort  a  soul  under 
such  circumstances?.... for  my  part  a  state  of 
uncertainty  was  always  painful  to  me,  how- 
ever happy  my  soul  might  be  ;.♦. the  weight 
of  my  corruptions  was  so   grevious,  and  ray 
heart  so  torn  on  account  of  inbred   bin,  that 
my  deliverance  was  quite  clear  to  me,  for  I 
had  got  into  a  new  world  !  I  found  an  entire 
change;....!  had  that perceptioji  or  conscious- 


t  21  ) 

ness  that  I   was  changed  ;  but  I  also  found 
doubts,  fears,    and  questionings,  continually 
cast  into  my  mind,  whether  sin  was  really  cast 
out  of  my  heart  or  not,  this  doubtful   state 
was  exceedingly  painful  to  me  ;  my  heart 
was  broken  at  the  thoughts  of  sin  still  sub- 
sisting, or  only  subsiding  for  a  time,  I  could 
not  be  satisfied  with  less  than  the  total  exter- 
pation  of  it ;  this  made  me  cry  mightily  to 
God  for  the  witness  of  his  spirit,  which  he 
was  graciously  pleased  to  grant  in  such  a 
manner  as  was  very  clear   to  me,  and  often 
since  in  time  of  grievious  temptation  I  should 
be  ready  to  give  up  my  confidence  were  it 
not  for  this  testimony,  which  frequently  shines 
indisputably  clear,  indeed  it  is  such  a  blessed 
privilege  that  I  think  it  a  pity  all  do  not  seek 
it,  but  I  believe  many  are  content  with  being 
happy  without  knowing  their  freedom, I  some- 
times think  that  these   miss  many  distresses 
which  I  have,  and  do  still  labour  under,  yet 
they  also  miss   the  comforts  proceeding  from 
this  testimony  which  I  think  more  than  equivo- 
lent,.. indeed  I   have    been  asked  some  ques- 
tions which  appeared  to  me  very  oddconcerning 
these  things,  but  I  believe  if  all  the  children  of 


(  2-  ) 

God  were  more  simple  they  would  be  more 
wise. 

Dear  Sir,  I  have  wrote  fi-eeh'  according  to 
that  measure  of  light  and  understanding 
which  I  have ;  requesting  you  would  shew 
your  love  to  my  soul,  by  setting  rae  right 
u'herein  I  err  ;  my  ignorance  is  so  great,  and 
my  ideas  of  things  so  confused  that  I  dare 
not  trust  to  my  own  judgment  in  matters  of 
such  importance,  this  sense  of  myself,  has 
often  occasioned  me  much  distress,... v,hen  I 
have  heard  these  things  spoken  against,  I  have 
been  ready  to  admit  the  doubt  and  say,  sure 
this  person  is  more  wise  more  holy  than  I, 
and  therefore  knows  more  of  the  mind  of  God 
and  if  it  be  so  I  am  hitherto  all  wrong  :...and 
still  in  such  cases  after  ail  that  the  Lord  has 
done  for  me,  I  am  too  apt  to  question,  being 
in  my  self  a  poor,  dark,  unstable  creature.... 
But  blessed  be  God  for  his  free  grace,  through 
this  alone  I  am  what  I  am,  and  find  every 
moment  the  same  need  of  the  same  grace, 
my  indigence  appears  every  day  more  and 
more,  and  this  drives  me  to  my  Lord  Jesus, 
and  my  multiplying  necessities  makes  him 
still  more  precious  to  my  soul.  O  what  should 


C     23      ) 

1  do   without  such  a   Saviour,  I  find  I  havt 
need  of  all  his  merit,  and  would  not  be  saved 
without  it,  O  it  is  sweet  to  be  a  beggar  at  his 
feet,  subsisting  wholly  on  his  bounty  !...  my 
Dear    Sir,  I    request    your   prayers,   I  have 
much  need  of  them,.... mine  weak  and  im- 
perfect as  they  are,   are  daily  offered  up  for 
you.     By 
Rev.  and  Dear  Sir, 
Yours  in  the  bonds  of  Christian  affection, 

ELIZA  BENNIS 


LETTER   VI. 
Rev.  John  Wesley,  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis. 

Leeds ^  August^  14.  176G. 
My  Dear  Sister. 

ALTHOUGH  I  am  at  present  exceedingly 
hurried  with  various  business,  yet  love  con- 
strains me  to  write  a  few  lines,  your  lettei^ 
are  always  welcome  to  me,  as  the  picture  of 
an  honest  and  affectionate  heart, 

What  you  say  concerning  the  witness  of 
the  spirit,  is  agreeable  to  all  sound  experi- 


(     24     ) 

ence.  We  may  in  some  measure  be  satisfied 
without  it,  in  die  time  of  broad  sunshine ; 
but  it  is  absolutely  necessary  in  the  time  of 
clouds,  and  heaviness  and  temptation  ;  other- 
vvise  it  would  be  hardly  possible  to  hold  fast 
your  confidence. 

Beware  of  voluntary  humility,  even  this 
may  create  a  snare  ;...in  the  *'  thoughts  on 
christian  perfection",  and  in  the  "  farther 
thoughts  "  you  have  the  genuine  experience 
of  the  adultchildren  of  God ;  oppose  that  au- 
thority,to  the  authority  of  any  that  contradict, 
(  if  reason  and  scripture  are  disregarded)  and 
look  daily  for  a  deeper  and  fuller  communion 
with  God  ;  O  w  hat  is  it  to  walk  in  the  light,  a 
he  is  in  the  light ! 

Do  not  cease  to  pray  for 

Your  truly  affectionate  Brother, 

JOHN  WESLEY 


(     25      J 

LETTER  VIL 

ivirs.  Eliza  Bennis,  to  the  Rev.  John  \v  esle} . 

Limericky  Julij^  15,  1/^67, 
Dear  Sir, 

I  have  made  many  attempts  to  write  you> 
sincey  ou  left  this  ;  but  my  state  has  appeared 
so  confused,  that  when  I  have  taken  up  the 
pen,  I  knew  not  where  or  how  to  begin  ;  nor 
indeed  do  I  now  know  what  to  say,  though 
love  and  gratitude  constra^ins  me  to  write. 

Your  late  visit  to  this  city,  proved  a  great 
blessing  to  my  soul ;  your  word  w^as  accom- 
panied with  power,and  enabled  me  more  clear- 
ly to  see  the  work  of  God  on  my  heart,  yet  I 
cannot  say  I  am  satisfied. 

The  Lord  does  give  me  at  times  the  testi- 
mony of  his  spirit,  that  sin  is  cast  out  of  my 
heart,  but  I  feel  so  much  slackness,  thought- 
lesness,  unstayedness  of  mind,  forgetfulness, 
wanderings,  and  listlesness  of  soul,  that  I  am 
ready  to  question  this  evidence,  even  whilst  I 
have  it;  and  from  this  view  of  myself,  am  ready 
to  cry  out,  how  can  these  things  be  I  indeed  it 
r  appears  sometimes  as  a  perfect  inconsistence, 
so  that  I  know  not  what  to  conclude  ;  I  do 
not  find  that  measure  of  life  or  love  which 
r  C 


C     26     ; 

I  once  enjoyed,  nor  that  clearness  of  sight,  oi 
strength  of  faith,  though  at  all  times  I  feel  my 
heart  wholly  given  up  to  God ;  yet  find  also  a 
continual  questioning  in  my  mind  about  it. 
Indeed  I  think  my  experience  such  a  jumble, 
and  feel  myself  such  a  poor,  dark,  blind,  igno- 
rant creature,  that  I  am  at  times  as  one  bewil- 
dered, and  can  only  cast  myself  as  I  am  on  the 
Lord  Jesus,  taking  him  alone  as  my  all  in  all, 
and  beseeching  him  to  point  out  my  way,  and 
not  suffer  my  ignorance  to  err ;  blessed  be  my 
God,  I  do  not  find  any  propensity  to  sin,  but 
do  not  find  that  constant  breathing  after  him 
which  I  think  should  belong  to  the  state,  and 
w^hich  I  have  felt  in  times  past;  I  am  often 
feaiful  and  distressed  on  this  account,  weary 
of  my  unprofitableness,  and  filled  with  grief 
and  dejection  of  spirit;  and  though  I  find  no 
condemnation  froTU  God,  yet  feel  a  continual 
dissatisfaction  at  nayself,... Indeed  I  find  the 
L,ord  Jesus  precious,  ^^ry  precious  to  mysoul, 
iand  am  distressed5because  I  do  ript,cannot  ren^ 
dcr  hiin  that  pbedience  which  I  should,  and 
which    he   knows  I   desire    to  do, 

Dear  Sir,  I  have  endeavoured  to  lay  my 
heart  uncovered  before  you,    as  the   lL*Qrd 


aUows  I  would  not  appear  any  thing  to  }0'., 
out  such  as  I  am  in  bis  sight   who  knows  ali. 
things,  and  shall  hope    for  an  answer  as  soor' 
:s  your  business  will  permit. 

I  am  Dear  Sir,  your  unworthy, 

But  truly  affectionate^ 


M^Yt  J@hft  W§§l§yM?l§>  Mrs?  %\\m  Serinis, 

1J?:ar  Sister  Ben>is. 

When  you  write  to  me,  you  iiave  only  to 
ihink  aloud,  just  to- open  the  windo\v  in  yo'Ji 
breast ;  when  we  love  one  another,  there  Is  i\o 
need  of  either  disguise  or  reserve,  I  \o\QyoUi 
and  I  verily  believe  you  love  mc:  so  you  havi*. 
only  to  write  just  what  you  feel. 

The  essential  part  of  christian  holiness  i^ 
giving  the  heart  whoHy  to  God,  and  certainly 
we  need  not  lose  any  degree  of  that  light ;  and 
love  which  at  first  attend  this;  it  is  our  own 
'nfirmity  if  we  do  ;  it  is  not  the  will  of  the 


i.ord  concerning  us.  Your  present  business  is, 
not  to  reason  whether  you  should  call  your 
f^xperience  thus  or  thus  ;  but  to  go  straight  to 
bhjj  that  loves  you,  with  all  your  wants,  how 
i^reat  or  how  many  soever  they  are.  Then 
ail  things  are  ready  ;  help  while  yet  you  ask  is 
given !  you  have  only  to  receive  it  by  simple 
iliith ;  nevertheless  you  will  still  be  incompas- 
scd  v» ith  numberless  infirmities  j  for  you  live 
111  an  house  of  clay,  and  therelbre  this  corrup- 
tible body  will  more  or  less  press  down  the 
^.oul.  yet  not  so  as  to  prevent  your  rejoic- 
ing evermore,  and  having  a  witness  that  your 
heart  is  all  /m;  you  may  claim  this,  it  is  yours 
for  Christ  is  yourg.     Believe  and  feel  him 

• » /->  '^  V 

My  Dear  Sister  Adieu, 
Yours   Affectionately, 

JOHN  WESLEY. 


29     ) 

LETTER  JX. 

Mrs.  Eliza  Btnnis,  to  the  Rev.  John  V/esIey*. 

Limerick,  Maij,  25,  1789. 
Dear  Siu, 

SINCE  the  Lord  first  called  me  by  his 
grace  to  partake  of  his  mercy,  he  has  given 
me  to  esteem  and  love  you  as  a  dear  parent ; 
f)ut  my  own  littleness  and  your  great  worth 
created  such  an  awe  in  me,  as  caused  me  to 
keep  a  painful  distance,  notwithstanding  your 
kind  and  loving*  solicitations  to  the  contrary  | 
(I  hope  this  will  not  appear  as  flattery,  it  is- 
aideed  the  truth  of  my  heart)  but  have  nov/ 
resolved  by  di\ine  assistance,  this  shall  not 
i^e  the  case  in  future. 

Blessed  be  my  God,  I  have  found  my  soul 
much  quickened  by  your  late  visit;  but  am 
not  satisfied  'till  I  feel  restored  all  that  I  have 
lost,  I  find  many  hindrances  in  pursuing  this;, 
and  many  plausible  reasons  why  I  should  not 
expect  it,  but  my  necessities  drive  me  forv/arc! 
and  the  mercies  ofGod  encourage  mc  at  time:; 
to  hope  and  expect  an  entire  deliverance,  but 
the  thought  of  my  own  unfaithfi^lness  stil" 
comes  between  and  causes  my  heart  to  {liil, 
ndeed  it  is  just,  should  I  never  be  restored, 
C2 


(     30     ) 

aiici  should  I  wait  all  the  days  of  my  life,  and  be 
saved  at  the  last,  surely  it  would  be  wonderful 
mercy  ;  yet  my  heart  is  pained  at  the  thought, 
I-^vant  a  present  salvation,  a  heaven  within, 
I  want  that  I  should  sin  no   more. 

That  every  inoment  I  should  feel 
His  love,  and  know  I  do  his  will, 
Should  find  no  slackness  on  my  part, 
But  praise  flow  constant  from  my  heart. 

I  cannot  describe  my  present  state,  other- 
wise than  by  calling  it  a  mixture  of  happiness 
and  misery,  and  must  continue  to  be  so,  'till 
the  Lord  condescends  again  to  visit  with  a 
fresh  supply  of  his  grace,  this  unfaithful  back- 
sliding heart.  Indeed  whilst  I  am  desiring, 
longing,  and  asking  for  this,  1  am  ready  to 
cry  out,  **  will  the  Lord  mdeca  condescend  so 
far;'*  O  1  want  more  faith  and  more  poverty 
of  spirit. 

27th.  I  feared  when  you  left  this  for  Cork, 
I  should  again  lose  all  my  earnestness,  and 
sink  down  where  I  was  before,  I  have 
many  fears  of  that  kind  still,  but  blessed  be 
my  God,  it  is  not  the  case  as  yet,  my  soul 
is  at  times  all  desire  and  expectation,  but  my 
release  is  not  yet  come,  this  morning  I  found 
my  heart  all  earnestness  in  prayer,  being  de- 
sirous not  to  come  away  'till  the  Lord  had 


(  51  ) 

blessed  me,  but  not  finding  my  expectations 
answered,  I  came  away  much  cast  down,  and 
opened  the  bible  on  Ezekiel  20th  chap.  15th 
verse. ..this  threatening  I  thought  appUcable 
to  my  state,  and  suitable  to  my  deserts. 

But  I  will  yet  hope,  even  against  hope, 
perhaps  the  Lord  may  be  intreated....My  Dear 
Sir,  I  think  if  you  would  pray  for  me,  the 
Lord  would  answer. 

29th.  Blessed  be  my  God,  my  soul  has  been 
all  yesterday  and  this  morning  in  some  degre 
happy,  and  still  continues  so,  but  not  satis- 
fied ;  I  want  a  fuller  manifestation  of  his  love, 
I  want  to  be  all  as  he  would  have  me  be,  I 
would  make  no  conditions  with  him,  only 
that  he  would  give  me  himself... Amen  Lord 
let  me  be  wholly  and  only  thine. 

The  people  here  seem  much  stirred  up, 
and  happy  in  the  expectation  of  your  returning 
to  us  for  a  few  days,  I  hope  you  have  deter- 
mined it  shall  be  so;  O  come,  and  I  fully 
think  you  will  bring  a  blessing  to  your  un- 
worthy,  but  truly  Affectionate, 

ELIZA  BENNIS. 


LETTKH  X, 

"Raw  John  V/esley...to  Mrs  Eliza  Bennis* 

CorAMuij,  50 y  1769, 
Dear  Sister, 

Some  years  since,  I  was  mclined  to  think, 
chat  none  who  had  once  enjoyed  and  then  lost 
the  pure  love  of  God,  must  ever  look  to  enjoy 
it  again,  'till  they  were  just  steping  into  eter- 
nity....But   experience  has  taught  us  better 
things,  we  have  at  present  numerous  instan- 
ces of  those  who  had  cast  away  that  un speak 
able  blessing,  and   now  enjoy  it  in  a  larger 
measure  than  ev^r ;  and  why  should  not  this 
be  your  case?    because  you  are  unworthy  r 
so  were  they;  beqause  you  have  been  an  un- 
faithful steward  ?  so  had  they  been  also ;  yet 
God  healed  them  fneely,  and  so  he  will jy^w.. 
only  do  not  reason  against  him.... Look  for  no- 
thing in  yourself  but  sin  and  un  worthiness.... 
¥  or  gtt  yourself.... Worthy  is  the  lamb,  and^f 
has  prevailed  for  youj  you  shall  not  die,  but 
live  I  live  all  the  life  of  heaven  on  earth,  you 
need  nothing  in  order  to  this  but  faith.. .And 
who  gives  this  ?  he  that  standeth  at  the  door! 


(      33      ) 

I  hope  to  see  you  at  Limerick  on  Monday 
next,  and  I  pray,  let  there  never  more  be  any 
reserve    between  you,  and 

Your  truly  AfFectionate  &c, 

JOHN  WESLEY. 


LKTTEE  XI. 
Mrs.  Eliza  Bennii,..,to  the  Rev,  John  Wesley. 
Limerick  July^  13,  Uim 

DEAR  SIR, 

I  HAVE  often  thought  since  you  left 
Limerick,  if  you  did  not  know  me  before,  you 
now  know  me  perfectly  jail  my  weakness, 
ignorance  and  errors  lie  open  before  you ;  the 
Lord  knows  I  desire  to  appear  in  your  sight 
what  I  am  in  his  who  knows  and  sees  my 
heart;  yet  have  been  grievously  exercised 
since  I  put  my  papers  into  your  hands ;  when 
you  asked  them  I  found  a  satisfaction  in 
gratifying  you,  but  have  since  been  much 
tempted  both  to  pride  and  shame ;  the  exer- 
cise has  often  proved  a  blessing  to  my  soul, 
and  the  looking  over  former  experience  has 


frequently  borne  me  up  and  strengthened  ni^ 
hands  when  ready  to  faint,  which  makes  me 
still  willing  to  keep  them  ,•  but  indeed  they 
were  never  intended  to  be  even  seen  by  any 
but  myself,  and  from  their  many  defects  do 
not  see  how  they  can  be  useful  to  any  other,... 
ds  I  suppose  ypu  have  by  this  time  looked 
them  Gv^t^  I  shall  thank  you  to  return  them 

by  tfm  iw§^\m  who  ym  tmy  mni  ter^  from 

In  the  mldgt  of  many  t^mptntiong,  I  defind 
the  Lord  my  refuge  and  ^uppmt,  md  at  times 
am  given  to  iee,  that  my  heart  k  wholly  dedl' 
eated  to  him,!,, Yet  am  almost  &miUn}Mly 
distreised  that  I  do  not  live  more  suitable  to 
such,  a  profession  ;  not  only  outwardly  but 
inwardly,  I  see  myself  every  moment  full  of 
flaws,  wants  and  deficiencies ;  an  inconstancy 
of  mind  that  causes  much  grief ;  I  know  this 
should  not  be. ...I  see  it  is  my  privilege  to 
enjoy  constant  union  and  communion  with 
God,  to  live  by  faith,  and  rest  in  his  will....! 
see  the  happiness  of  this  state,  and  have  had 
some  s\yeet  experience  of  it,  and  think  I  can^ 
not  be  satisfied  'till  I  re-attain  it;  yet  while  1 
thus  see  it,  my  privilege  and  desire,  and  long- 


so  after  it,  I  do  not  grow  toward  it,  I  do  not 
enter  into  it,  there  is  a  something  in  the  way, 
which  hinders,  and  which  God  only  is  able  to 
remove,  O  that  he  would  take  it  out  of  the 
way,  that  he  would  totally  destroy  every  thing 
that  opposes  his  will  in  my  soul. 

Mr.  Bourk's  visit  here,  has  proved  a  bless- 
ing to  my  soul,  and  to  his  also,  I  hope  the 
Lord  will  enable  him  to  keep  his  hold,  and 
stand  by  faith  against  every  opposition  ;  he  has 
had  some  seals  to  his  ministrv  since  he  came 
here;  if  you  coqld  spare  him  to  us  this  yearj 
I  think  it  would  be  productive  of  good. 

Dear  Sir,  at  present  I  am  exercised  iit- 
wardly  by  my  enemy,  and  outwardly  by  the 
sickness  of  two  of  my  children,  so  that  1  have 
much  need  of  your  prayers;  through  all  the 
Lord  does  support  me,  ^nd  am  confident  tliat 
what  is  best  he  will  do  \  may  he  continue  to  be 
your  strength  and  support,  and  give  you 
counsel  in  all  your  consultations,  is  the  earnest 
prayer,    of  your  ever  Affectionate, 

ELIZA  BENNIS> 


C     56     } 

LETTER  XII. 

Rev  John  Wesley... .to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis. 

Dubiin.  July  24,  1769, 
Dear  Sister. 

IF  the  reading  over  your  papers  has  no 
other  effect,  this  it  certainly  has,  it  makes  me 
lo\'e  you  abundantly  better  than  I  did  before  ; 
I    have   now  a  more  intimate  knowlege    of 
you....  I  enter   more    into  your   spirit,  your 
tempers,  and  Hopes,  and  fears,  and  desires,  all 
which  tends  to  endear  you  to  me... It  is  plain, 
one  of  your   constant  enemies  and  the  most 
dangerous  of  all,  is  evil  reasoning....  Accord- 
ingly the  thing  which   you  chiefly  want  is 
christian    simplicity.... Brother    Bourke   and 
you  should  carefully  watch  over  each  other  in 
that  respect,   and  let  each  deal  faithfully  with 
the  other,  let  there  be  no  reserve  between  you 
encourage   one  another  also,  to  pray  for,  and 
expect  the  continual  and  direct  witness  of  the 
spirit.... They  are  by  no  means  the  best^diVt 
of  our  preachers  in  any  sense,  who  doubt  of 
this :  I  know  but  of  one  who  had  experienced 
the  work,  that  doubted  concerning  the  witness 
namely  James  Oddie:    and  I  am  affraid  tlv<^ 


(     37     ) 

for  some  time  he  has  experienced  neither 
the  one  nor  the  other.... Two  of  your  writ- 
ten books  I  send  back  by  that  lovely  woman 
Jenny  Moore,  the  third  I  must  borrow  a  little 
longer,... My  Dear  Friend,    Remember 

Yours  Aifectionately,  &c. 

JOHN  WESLEY. 


LETTER  XIII. 
Rev.  John  Wesley.. ..to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis. 
Bristol^  September  18,  1769. 

MY    DEAR    SISTER, 

I  WROTE  a  longer  letter  to  you  than 
I  usually  do,  before  I  set  out  from  Dublin, 
where  or  how  it  stopped  I  cannot  imagine. 
I  think  of  you  every  day,  indeed  I  do  not 
know  that  I  ever  loved  you  so  well  as  since  I 
was  at  Limerick  last,  the  more  we  are  ac- 
quainted with  each  other,  the  more  we  ought 
^o  love  one  another.  ; 

I  hope   brother    Bourke   and  you,  faith- 
fully  endeavour   to    help    each    other     on. 
s  your  own  soul  all  alive  ?  All  devoted  to 
D 


I 


(     38     ) 

God?  Do  you  find  again  what  you  found 
once  ?  And  are  you  active  for  God?  Remem- 
ber you  have  work  to  do  in  your  Lord's  vin- 
yard,  and  the  more  you  help  others  the  more 
your  soul  will  prosper.  I  am  my  Dear  Sis- 
ter. 

Yours  Affectionately,  he. 

JOHN  WESLEY. 


LETTER  XiV. 
Mrs.  Eliza  6ennis....to  the  Rev.  John  Wesley. 
Limerick^  October  17,  17o9. 

DEAR  SIR, 

AFTER  son^e  delays  occasiom  d  by  un- 
foreseen circumstances,  I  have  received  the 
two  books,  and  your  kind  letters  from  Dublin 
and  Bristol,  I  want  words  to  express  the  gra- 
titude I  feel  for  your  love  and  tender  care 
over  me,  may  God  still  continue  this  mercy 
to  a  poor  unworthy  creature;  weak  and  imper- 
fect as  my  petitions  to  the  throne  of  grace  are, 
I  cannot  cease  offering  them  up  for  you,  whilst 
I  am  able  to  praj  for  myself. 

As  to  the  state  of  my  soul  at  present,  it 


{     39     ) 

Still  continues  (as  mentioned  in  a  former  let- 
ter) to  be  a  mixture  of  happiness  and  distress, 
I  feel  my  heart  given  to  the  Lord,  and  he 
knov/s  that  it  is  the  desire  of  my  soul  that  his 
will  should  be  done  in  me,  by  me,  and  upon 
me,  yet  I  find  such  deficiencies  in  c\  ery  re- 
spect us  bows  me  down  and  hinders  my  con- 
stantly rejoicing  in  him,  and  am  often  afraid 
that  I  shall  perish  after  all.  Can  this  be  con- 
sistent with  perfect  love  ?  I  do  not  feel  that 
measure  of  happiness  and  resting  in  God, 
which  I  once  did,  my  soul  mourns  after  it, 
and  cannot  be  satisfied  without  it,  yet  cannot 
come  by  faith  so  as  that  I  may  receive  it ; 
when  I  would,  I  find  my  way  so  closed  up, 
that  I  cannot  get  through,  and  such  a  feeble- 
ness of  soul  that  I  cannot  persist,  but  sink 
down  again  into  an  inactive  sorrow  and  dis- 
tress ;  the  Lord  does  give  me  to  feel  the  con- 
solations of  his  spirit,  and  does  draw^  my  heart 
after  himself;  but  do  not  find  that  total  obli- 
vion of  self,  that  entire  sequestration  from 
every  earthly  thing,  that  delightful  fellowship 
w^th,  and  constant  enjoyment  of  God  wdiich  I 
once  possessed,  but  lost  by  my  unfaithfulness, 


(      40      ) 

O  how  can  I  feed  those  sheep,  committed  to 
my  care,  the  charge  Hes  very  heavy  on  me  ; 
Dear  Sir  cease  not  to  pray  for  your  unworthy, 
•diild  in  Christ. 

ELIZA  BENNLS, 


LETTER  XV, 
^iev.  Jf  hn  Wesley  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bcnnis. 

Whitehaven^  April  12,  1770- 

DIAR    SISTEK, 

If  two  or  three  letters  have  miscarried  all 
will  not,  so  I  am  determined  to  write  again. 
How  does  the  work  of  God  go  on  at  Lime- 
lick.^  Does  the  select  society  meet  constant- 
ly ?  And  do  you  speak  fieely  to  each  other  ? 
What  preachers  aie  with  you  noix)  ?  do  you 
converse  frankly  and  openly  with  them,  with- 
out any  Ihyness  or  Reserve  ?  Do  you  find 
your  own  soul  prosper  .^  Do  you  hold  fast 
ivhat  God  had  given  you  .''  Do  you  give 
liiim  all  your  heart  ?  And  do  you  find  the  w^it- 
ness  of  this  abiding  with  you  ?  One  who  is 
now  in  the  house  with  me,  has  not  lost  that 
witness  one  moment  for  these  ten  years.  Why 
should  you  lose  it  any  more  ?  Are  not  the  gifts 


(  -1  )   , 

of  God  \oithout  repentance  ?  Is  he  not  willing 
to  give  always,  what  he  gives  once  ?  Lay-hold, 
lay-hold  on  all  the  promises.     I  am, 

Your  affectionate  Brother. 

JOHN  WESLEY. 


LETTER  XVI. 


Mrs.  Eliza  Bcnnis....to  the  Rev.  John  vVesley 

W at  erf  or  d.  May  20,  1770. 

DEAR    SIR^ 

Having  come  to  this  city  on  a  vi^it  to 
my  daughter,  your  kind  favor  of  l2di  April 
was  forwarded  to  me  from  Limerick.  Indeed 
my  heart  is  thankful  for  your  care  over,  and 
advice  to  me  ;  your  kind  enquiry  concerning 
my  state,  fills  me  with  shame  and  distress 
when  I  consider  what  a  dwarf  I  am  amongst 
the  people  of  God.  The  Lord  does  make  it 
the  desire  of  my  soul  to  do  his  will  and 
knows  I  ivould  be  wholly  and  entirely  his,  but 
feel  many  hindrances,  which  nothing  but  his 
all  powerful  grace  can  remove,  these  bear  me 
down,  and  keep  me  continually  loaded  with 
D  2 


C     42     j 

distress.  O  when  shall  my  complainings  end. 
I  know  assuredly  that  it  is  the  privilege  of 
God's  people  to  have  and  retain  the  testimony 
of  his  spirit,  and  think  it  cannot  be  otherwise 
in  the  nature  of  things ;  that  I  find  it  clouded 
is  owing  to  my  own  disobedience  and  unbe- 
lief, and  is  indeed  a  cause  of  sorrow  to  me,  at 
times  I  have  strong  hopes  that  the  Lord  will 
reviv^his  work  in  my  soul,  at  other  times 
have  girevous  fears  and  dejections,  and  am 
leady  to  give  up  all  hope ;  I  have  been  parti- 
cularly exercised  in  this  manner  since  I  came 
to  this  city  ;  my  own  unfaithfulness  so  placed 
in  view,  and  such  severe  reproaches  for  my 
baseness,  as  has  caused  sore  and  bitter  repen- 
tance ;  oh  that  it  would  last,  that  I  could 
"  weep  my  life  away,  for  having  grieved  his 
'-  love." 

But  I  am  such  a  poor  unstable  creature,  that 
even  this  does  not  last,  but  like  the  natural 
man  beholding  his  face  in  a  glass.  I  quickly 
forget  until  the  Lord  again  reminds  me  of  my 
state. 

Brother  Saunderson  is  now  in  Limerick, 
the  select  band  meet  regular,  and  a  few  have 
been   lately  added  to  jt,  they  speak  open  and 


(    43  •; 

free  but  mostly  in  a  complaining  state.  I  have 
conversed  freely  with  brother  S.  and  do  now 
correspond  with  him  (he  seems  athirst  for 
sanctification)  but  I  think  I  discern  self  in  all 
I  do  and  say,  and  this  discourages  my  for- 
wardness in  speaking  to  others,  and  generally 
fills  me  with  after  distress,  brother  Bourke  is 
on  this  circuit,  the  people  here  go  on  at  a  poor 
rate,  nor  do  I  think  it  likely  to  be  otherwise 
until  they  have  a  stationed  preacher,  they 
desired  me  to  mention  this,  and  ^vould  thank 
you  to  think  of  them,  as  I  shall  return  home 
in  a  few  days,  you  will  please  direct  your  next 
to  Limerick. 

I  am  dear  Sir,  &c. 

ELIZA  BENNIS. 


LETTER  XVIL 
Rev.  John  Wesley.. .to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis. 

2arw,  June  13,  1770, 

MY    DEAR     SISTER, 

JUST  Now  we  have  many  persons  all  over 
England,  that  arc  exactly  in  the  state  you  de- 
scribe ;  they  were  some  time  since  renewed 
in  love,  and  did  then  rejoice  evermore ;  but 
after  a  few  years,  months  or  weeks,  they  were 


(     44     ) 

moved  from  their  stedrastr.ess,  yet  several  oi 
these,  have  vvithin  a  fc\v  irior.ih^  recovered  all 
they  had  lost,  and  some  wkh  increase,  being 
far  more  established  than  ever  they  were  be- 
fore, and  why  may  it  not  be  so  withjcw?  The 
rather,  because  you  do  not  deny,  or  doubt  of 
the  work  whicli  God  did  work  in  you;  and 
that  bv  simple  faith.     Surelv  vou  shoukl  be 

^  A  .1  ml 

every  day  expecting  the  same  free  gift.  And 
he  will  not  deceive  your  hope. 

But  how  is  this  with  respect  to  Waterford: 
They  woukl,  and  they  woukl  not,  I  sent  t\\  o 
preachers  to  that  circuit,  why  did  not  they 
keep  them  ?  W.  L.  wrote  word  that  there 
was  neither  employment  nor  maintenance  for 
two,  and  therefore  wished  leave  to  return 
to  England.  Let  me  hear  more  Crom  you  on 
this  matter. 

If  you  can  guard  brother  S.  against  pride, 
and  the  applause  of  well  rneaning  people,  he 
will  be  a  happy  man,  and  an  useful  labourer. 
I  hope  brother  M.  has  not  grown  cold.  Stir 
up  the  gift  of  God  which  is  in  you !  1  am. 
My  dear  sister. 

Your  Affectionate  Brother, 

JOHN  WESLEY. 


(     45     ) 

LETTER  XVIII. 

Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis....to  the  Rev.  John  Wesley 

Limerick,  Julij  8,  1770. 
My  Dear  Sir 

YOUR  Letters  always  bring  encourage- 
ment, I  rejoice  to  hear  that  many  have  again 
recovered  their  strength ;  and  at  times  am 
enabled  to  hope  it  may  be  my  case  ;  but  am 
often  cast  down  and  ready  to  doubt,  from  the 
great  unfitness  I  find  in  myself.  I  feel  it  the 
desire  of  my  soul  to  be  wholly  given  up  to  the 
Lord,  yet  do  not  find  my  mind  so  clear  con- 
cerning the  work  of  sanctification  as  it  has 
been.  Neither  does  the  necessity  of  it  appear 
in  the  manner  it  used  to  do.  And  yet  my 
soul  is  reaching  after  a  something,  without 
coming  to  any  particular  point,  only  this,  that 
I  want  more  of  God ;  I  feel  happy,  yet  feel 
a  void  which  nothing  but  God  can  fill.  The 
intercourse  is  open,  but  have  not  that  full 
clear  vision,  that  immediate,  intimate,  open 
access  which  I  have  had  in  time  past,  there 
is  a  mist  between,  which  my  sight  cannot 
penetrate.  I  cannot  help  sighing  after  for- 
mer experience,  but  have  not  that  earnestness 
of  soul,  that  might  bring  the  blessing  near. 


(  -*^  ) 

But  why  should  I  not  also  acknowledge 
the  goodness  of  my  God. 

He  does  make  himself  the  desire  of  my 
soul,  and  I  find  his  love  to  be  belter  than 
life  ;  I  am  nothing,  I  have  nothing,  I  desire  to 
be  nothing ;  but  He  is  my  all  in  all ;  and  for 
him  I  give  up  eveiy  other  good  ;  taking  him 
alone  for  my  portion  and  my  inheritance  in 
time  and  in  all  eternity.  He  knows  I  fear 
nothing  so  much,  as  a  seperation  from  him, 
and  desire  nothing  so  much  as  an  establish- 
ment in  his  grace,  so  as  never  more  to  offend 
him.  O  that  he  would  bind  my  heart  to  him- 
self forever.  Sisters  P.  and  B.  have  lately 
been  taken  home ;  they  both  died  triumphant- 
ly rejoicing  in  God  their  Saviour,  and  have 
left  a  clear  testimony  that  the  religion  of  Jesus 
is  not  a  cunningly  devised  fable. 

I  believe  brother  L  :  met  with  trials' in  Wa- 
terford,  the  people  are  poor  and  think  the  ex- 
pence  of  a  preachers  Horse  (and  family)  more 
than  they  can  well  bear,  but  if  it  were  possi- 
ble to  let  them  have  a  single  preacher  resident 
in  the  city,  or  even  to  exchange  monthly  with 
the  circuit  preacher  (without  throwing  any  of 
the  Horse  expence  on  them)  I  think  it  might 


(     47     ) 

answer  a  good  end,  as  yet  the  circuit  is  best 
able  to  bear  expence,  indeed  I  feel  much  for 
the  city  society,  a  handful  of  poor  simple  souls 
that  need  every  support,  and  encouragement. 
Dear  Sir,  1  hope  you  will  not  think  me  too 
presumptuous,  in  dictating,  but  I  find  my 
soul  knit  to  these  poor  sheep. 

Sister  Ann  S  :  is  lately  married  to  brother 
L  :  of  Clonmell,  brother  Bourke  and  I  made 
up  this  match,  and  think  it  is  the  Lord's  doing; 
she  is  as  usual  all  alive  to  God,  and  I  trust 
will  be  a  means  of  saving  his  soul :  brother 
Bourke  at  my  request  has  taken  Clonmell  into 
the  circuit,  and  doubt  not  but  there  will  be 
good  done  there,  but  as  this  has  caused  an 
entire  alteration  in  the  circuit  from  the  former 
plan,  I  have  to  request  your  forgiveness  for 
'my  officiousness,  if  you  disapprove  it  can  be 
re-altcred,     I  am  dear  Sir, 

Your  sincerely  affectionate, 

ELIZA  BENNIS. 


(     ^8     ; 

LETTER  XIX 
Rev.  John  Wesley...io  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis, 

Ashby.jfuly  27,  1770. 

DEAR    SISTER, 

WILL  You  ever  find  in  yourself  any- 
thing but  unfitness  ?  Otherwise  your  salvation 
would  be  of  works,  not  of  grace.  But  you 
are  frequently  sick  of  a  bad  disease,  ei)il  reason- 
ing ;  which  hinders  both  your  holiness  and 
happiness,  you  want  the  true  christian  simpli- 
city, which  is  indeed  the  highest  wisdom. 
Nothing  is  more  clear  according  to  the  plain 
bible  account,  than  sanctification ;  pure  love 
reigning  in  the  heart  and  life.  And  nothing 
is  more  plain,  than  the  necessity  of  this,  in 
order  to  feel  happiness  here  and  hereafter. 
Check  all  reasoning  concerning  these  first 
principles,  else  you  will  exceedingly  darken 
your  soul,  and  go  on  denying  yourself,  and 
taking  up  your  cross,  until  you 

"  Sink  into  Perfections  Height. 
•*  The  debth  of  huiuble  Love." 

If  the  preachers  on  Waterford  circuit  had 
punctually  adhered  to  the  plan  which  1  fixed, 
the  horse  would  have  been  no  burden,  but 


(   ^y    ; 

the  misfortune  is... every  dunce  is  wiser  than 
me,  however  at  your  desire  I  will  send  a  se- 
cond preacher  into  the  circuit  alter  confe- 
rence,  but  the  preachers  must  change  regu- 
larly, it  would  never  do,  to  let  one  man  sit 
down  for  six  months  with  a  small  society,  he 
w^ould  soon  preach  hin^self  and  them  as  life- 
less as  stones.  Your  alteration  of  the  cir- 
cuit  so  as  to  take  in  poor  dead  Clonmell  I 
much  approve,  and  hope  sister  L :  will  be 
made  a  blessing  to  the  few  there.  I  rejoice 
at  sisters  P.  and  B's  happy  release.... I3  not 
this  worth  living  for ! 

Still  draw  near  to  the  fountain  by  simple 
faith,  and  take  all  you  want,  but  be  not  sloth- 
ful in  your  Lords  vineyard. 

My  Dear  Sister,  yours  affectionately 
JOHN  WESLEY. 


LETTER  XX. 


Mrs.  Eliza  Ben'-iis...to  the  Rev.  John   \\\sl!i)  . 

IFaterfordj  Maij^  7*  1771. 
l>fcAR  SIR, 

I  THINK  all  my  expectations  are  only 
^rom  the  Lord  ;  nor  do  I  desire   any  blessing 

V. 


(      50      ) 

which  does  not  borne  immediately  from  his 
hand  ;  I  purposed  to  myself  much  happiiiess 
in  seeing  you  here,  and  think  my  expectations 
were  not  from  man.  Then  how  shall  I  ac- 
count for  the  deadness  and  heaviness  of  soul 
which  I  laboured  under  \\  hilst  you  were  here  : 
but  since  then  have  found  the  Lord  parti- 
cularly gracious.  This  has  caused  some  jeal- 
ousy over  myself.  I  fear  I  do  not  know  my- 
self aright,  and  am  often  fearful  least  I  should 
judge  too  fav^ourably  of  myself,  that  is,  least 
I  should  imagine  I  had  received  that  grace 
which  I  have  not  received ;  the  Lord 
knows  I  would  not  deceive  myself;  and  bles- 
sed be  his  name  he  does  give  me  to  see  con- 
tinually that  I  am  nothing,  that  I  am  behold- 
en to  his  free  grace  for  all  things  ;  that  I  can- 
not keep  myself  one  moment  without  his 
special  mercy.  Nor  indeed  do  I  desire  to 
be  kept  without  him  ;  I  find  it  my  sweetest, 
my  most  delightful  experience  to  be  poor 
and  destitute  in  myself,  subsisting  \^'holIy  on 
his  bounty,  and  at  times  do  feel  r^ysclf,  even 
as  water  spilled  belore  him,  and  yet  how  many 
thousand  things  do  I  find  in  me  continually, 
which  seem  contradictory  to  this,  and  which 


C    ^^    ) 

cause  difficulties  and  perplexities  in  my  mind 
tliat  none  but  God  can  clear.  Yesterday  I 
corrected  my  little  child  in  a  hasty  manner, 
my  spirit  being  agitated  and  angry  at  the 
child ;  my  heart  smote  me  immediately,  I 
%vas  grieved  and  distressed,  and  thought 
'^surely  in  vain  do  I  profess  to  be  cleansed 
from  sin,  for  thus  am  I  overcome  continual- 
ly," showers  of  accusations  came  in  upon 
me,  and  I  had  no  defence  to  make,  in  this 
state  I  \^  ent  to  prayer,  and  acknowledged  my 
transgression  in  much  deadness  cuid  heavi- 
ness, vrhich  as  a  c^otid  fell  instantly  upon 
me,  when  the  Lord  was  pleased  to  visit  my 
soul,  and  gave  me  the  testimony  of  liis  spirit, 
that  I  had  not  siuned.  I  was  struck  with 
surprise  and  cried  *^how  can  this  be'M  I  looked 
for  condemnation,  but  found  none,  my  heav- 
iness of  soul  was  gone,  and  the  Lord  did  pour 
into  my  heart  the  sweet  refreshings  of  his 
love.  Indeed  it  is  still  surprising  to  me,  for 
I  think  I  was  angry  at  the  child,  but  would 
be  glad  of  your  judgment  and  advice,  for 
tliere  is  a  constant  fear  over  me,  least  I  should 
deceive  myself. 


(     52      ) 

I  do  find  the  Lord  very  gracious,  and 
wcndcr  at  his  love,  O  surely  it  is  all  free 
grace. 

8th,  I  just  now  received  a  satisfactoiy  letter 
from  brother  S  :  he  says  he  wrote  to  you,  the 
Lord  has  begun  a  great  revival  in  Dublin, 
and  trust  he  will  carry  it  on.  O  tiiat  he 
w^ould  do  so  here  also.  Since  you  left  this, 
brother  C  :  lias  preached  regularly,  his  heart 
seems  earnest  for  the  work  and  people  of  God 
The  day  you  left  town,  I  met  the  womcns 
bunds,  the  Lord  did  vronderfuUy  bless  us  to- 
gether, and  1  find  w.y  heart  closely  united  to 
them ;  last  .Monday  I  v/ent  lo^the  room,  but 
none  of  them  came ;  I  do  lind  it  a  heavy  ^.rocs. 
yet  by  the  grace  of  God  shall  take  it  up.  1 
know  he  can,  and  often  does,  ivork  with  the 
weakest  instrument;  though  at  times  it  seems 
next  to  impossible  that  the  Lord  should  ever 
do  any  thing  by  me. 

9th,  My  dear  sir  I  have  simply  wrote  you 
the  workings  of  my  mind,  I  know  you  will 
bear  with  me,  I  have  had  so  many  proofs  of 
your  love  thut  I  cannot  doubt  it,  may  the 
Lord  prosper  }  our  labours,  and  make  your 
visit  to  Limerick  a  blessing  to  his  little  flock, 


C     53     ) 

indeed  my  heart  aches  when  I  lliirik  of  your 
being  there,  and  I  at  such  a  distance ;  for 
though  I  am  sensible  of  your  kindness  and 
thankful  to  you,  for  affording  me  so  much  of 
your  company  when  here;  yet  I  think  I  had 
not  that  satisfaction  with  you,  which  I  woukl 
have  in  Limerick.  But  I  am  enabled  to  look 
upon  every  hinderance  as  well  as  every  help, 
as  coming  immediately  from  the  Lord,  and 
equally  serviceable  to  me,  O  shall  I  say  pray 
for  me,  I  hope  the  Lord,  does  sometimes 
bring  even  me  to  your  remembrance,  my  love 
to  the  select  band,  I  hope  they  remember  me 
when  they  meet.     I  am  my  dear  Sir. 

Your  Sincerely  Affectionate, 

ELIZA  BENNIS. 


LETTER   XXL 

Rev.   John  Wesley. ...to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bcnnls. 

Limerick^  May^  15.    1771. 
My  Dear  Sister. 

WHENEVER  There  is  a  dependence, 
though  frequently  secret  and  unobserved,   oa 
any   outward  thing,  it  is  the  mercy  of  God 
E  2 


(     54     )      ♦ 

w'^Vh  disappoints  us  of  our  hope,  tfiat  \vt 
may  be  more  sensibly  convinced  ''  Neither  is 
**  he  that  planteth  any  things  nor  he  that  iva- 
'^  tei'eth,  but  God  th  at  giveth  the  increase.'*'* 

From  time  to  time  you  must  find  many 
difficulties  and  perplexities,  that  none  but  God 
can  clear.  But  can  he  clear  them  ?  That  is 
enough.  Then  he  surely  will.  This  is  the 
very  use  of  that  anointing  which  we  have 
from  God.  It  is  to  teach  us  of  all  things^  to 
clear  up  a  thousand  doubts,  and  perplexities 
^vhich  no  human  wisdom  could  do,  this  was 
^^ivcn  you  in  the  case  of  your  child,  and 
when  that  came,  temptation  spake  not  again. 
This  is  never  more  needful  than  with  regard 
to  anger;  because  there  is  an  anger  which  is 
not  sinful,  a  disgust  at  sin,  which  is  often  at- 
tended with  much  commotion  of  the  animal 
spirits ;  and  I  doubt  whether  we  can  well  dis- 
tinguish this  from  sinful  anger,  but  by  that 
light  from  Heaven. 

I  really  hope  J.  C.  will  do  well,  within  tliese 
two  years  he  is  improved  exceedingly^ 

If  our  sisters  miss  you  any  more,  there  is  but 
one  way  ;  you  must  go  or  send  after  them.  Be 
not  idle,  neither  give  way  to  voluntary  humi 


'     (     55     ) 

lity.  You  was  not  sent  to  Waterford  for  no- 
thing; but  to  **  strengthen  the  things  that  re- 
''  main" 

It  would  be  a  strange  thing,  if  I  should  pass 
a  day  without  praying  for  you;  by  this  means 
at  least  \\'e  may  reach  each  other,  and  there 
may  be  a  still  increasing  union  between  you 
and 

Your  Affectionate  Brother, 

JOHN  WESLEY. 


LETTER   XXII. 

Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis....to  the  Revd.John  Wesley. 

Waterford,  July  r,  1771. 
Dear  Sir, 

THERE  Has  been  no  material  alteration 
here  since  my  last.  Mr.  Newel  paid  one  visit 
to  this  city,  and  Mr  Breden  three,  in  the  in- 
terims brother  C.  acts  as  usual,  and  I  think 
whilst  they  have  him,  they  can  feel  no  lack,  I 
have  had  some  opportunities  of  conversing 
with  him,  for  which  I  have  reason  to  be 
thankful,  the  cause  and  people  of  God  arc  very 
dear  to  him,  and  he  loves  you  as  his  father, 
I  have  heard  some  object  to  his  opinions,  but 
I  think  his  manner  of  manageing  them  is  such, 


(     56     ) 

that  they  do  no  hurt  to  him  or  the  people.  I 
spoke  freely  to  him  on  this  head,  and  find  he 
entirely  agrees  with  you,  as  to  the  essential 
doctrines  of  justification  and  sanctification. 
He  holds  election  but  not  reprob-^stion,  he 
believes  that  God  is  willing  to  save  all,  and 
that  those  whom  he  saves  cannot  finally  fall. 
This  doctrine  he  says  brings  great  comfort  to 
his  soul,  but  as  it  might  not  have  the  same  ef- 
fect on  others,  he  does  not  advance  it,  lest 
any  should  rest  in  it. 

Mr.  T.  comes  on  Sundays  to  hear,  and  is 
at  times  so  affected,  as  to  run  out  of  the  house, 
not  being  able  to  contain  his  voice;  but  his 
convictions  do  not  last  the  week  out,  he  keeps 
such  close  acquaintance  with  his  former  anti- 
nomian  intimates,  that  his  stings  of  consci- 
ence are  quickly  gone,  until  the  next  Sunday; 
then  again  torn  under  the  word,  and  again 
careless;  yet  so  rivited  to  those  Antinomian 
professors  that  I  fear  it  will  all  come  to 
nothing.  I  meet  the  womens  bands  regular, 
and  we  generally  have  an  happy  hour. 

I  thank  my  God,  I  have  found  him  very 
gracious  since  I  c;,me  to  this  city,  he  has  af- 
forded me  such  helps,  as  I  did  not  expect,  and 


C     57     ) 

lias  been  himself  to  me  instead  of  every  help, 
O  what  cause  have  I  to  praise  his  name  and 
record  his  dealings  with  me,  it  is  now  two  and 
twenty  years  since  he  first  made  known  his 
pardoning  mercy  to  my  soul ;  and  O  what 
have  my  eyes  seen  and  my  soul  experienced  in 
that  time !  I  am  astonished  at  the  sight,  and 
ashamed  at  my  own  baseness.  O  surely  there 
is  not  such  an  other  worthless  creature 
existing;  so  backward,  so  unsteady,  such  a 
dwarf  amongst  his  people  I  I  am  not  at  all  sa- 
tisfied v/ith  myself.  But  at  times  am  sup- 
ported with  sweet  expectations  that  my  God 
will  rectify  all,  will  remove  every  hindrance, 
supplyevery want,and  stay  my  mindcontinually 
on  himself.  Indeed  I  am  w'cary  of  the  constant 
wanderings  of  my  hear  t,  and  deadness  of  my 
afiections.  The  Lord  only,  knows  what  I 
suffer  on  this  account,  and  the  question  is  con- 
tinually on  my  mind  "  Can  this  be  consistent 
with  an  heart  cleansed  from  sin"  the  Lord 
knows  it  is  the  most  anxious  desire  off  my 
soul,  to  be  all  as  he  would  have  me  be;  O 
that  he  would  w^ork  his  own  will,  and  make  me 
such.  I  am  just  returned  from  a  general  class 
meeting,   %nd  Mr.  T.  was  there,  for  the  fir^ 


(      58     ) 

time  these  six  mojitlisjie  seems  in  earnest,  the 
Lord  grant  him  steadiness  and  resolution.  O 
may  the  Good  Lord  whom  you  serve  prosper 
your  labours,  and  give  you  the  desire  of  your 
soul,  is  the  earnest  prayer  of, 

Dear  Sir,  Yours  &c. 

ELIZA  BENNIS 


LETTER  XXIIL 
Rev.  John  Wesley.-.to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis. 
Dublin,  yuhj^  80,17: 

MY  DEAft    SISTER. 

t 

I  AM  much  pleased  to  hear  so  good  an 
accountof  J.  C.  If  1  vvas  resolved  to  understand 
all  Gods  dispensations,  I  should  embrace  his 
opinion;  because  it  in  a  manner  accounts  for 
some  things  which  otherwise  are  unac- 
countable. But  thisi  do  not  expect :  I  am 
content  to  understand  exceeding  little,  while 
I  am  in  the  body,.,. What  He  does,  I  know- 
not  now ;  it  is  enough,  that  I  shall  know- 
hereafter.  Qur  business  jjoiv  is  to  love  and 
obey,    knowledsre   is  reserved  for  eternity. 


(     S9     ) 

My  chief  objection  to  Miltons  doctrine  of 
election  is,  tliat  I  cannot  reconcile  it  to  the 
words  of  St.  Peter  which  manifestly  refer  to  the 
eternal  state  of  men  ' ''  God  is  no  respecter 
of  persons.'''*  Now  how  can  we  allow  this, 
if  we  believe  he  places  one  man,  as  it  were 
suspended  between  heaven  and  hell,  while 
he  fixes  anotlier  e'er  ever  he  is  born,  under  an 
absolute   impossibility  of  missing  heaven  ? 

I  am  well  pleased  you  see  some  reason  to 
hope  well  of  Mr.  T,  speak  close  to  him.  He 
has  u  strong  cultivated  understanding,  and 
would  make  a  shining  christian.  If  he  con- 
tinues serious,  he  will  not  long  be  pleased 
with  his  former  company,  they  will  grow 
tasteless,  nay  irksome. 

It  is  not  material  whether  this  or  that  in- 
firmity or  defect,  be  consistant  with  this  xx^ 
that  gift  of  God.  Without  reasoning  about 
this,  it  is  your  part  simply  to  spread  all  your 
wants  before  him  who  loves  you,  and  he  will 
richly  supply  them  all ! 

Your  ever  Affectionate  Brodier, 

JOHN  WESLEY 


(     60     ; 

LETTER  XXIV. 

Mrs.  Eliza  3enms...to  the  Rev.  John  Wesle 

Limerick  October  15.  1771. 

DEAR  SIR. 

WHEN  I  consider  the  many  privi leges 
I  enjoy,  and  this  not  the  least,  that  I  can  freely 
unbosom  myself  to  you  ;  I  am  lost  in  wonder 
and  gratitude  before  the  Lord.  O  surely  I 
have  cause  to  say,  Lord  what  am  I,  that  thou 
dost  deal  thus  mercifully  and  bountifully  with 
such  a  worthless  worm."  Indeed  at  present 
every  thing  around  me  contributes  to  increase 
my  thankfulness  and  astonishment;  the 
world  is  running  mad  after  amusement,  filling 
their  bellies  with  the  east  wind.  At  present 
horse  racing  is  here  the  business  of  the  day, 
(and  the  multitude  wonders  aftej  the  beasts) 
and  balls,  plays,  and  taverns,  the  drudgery  of 
the  night.  My  heart  is  pained  to  see  the 
poor  mistaken  croud  weary  and  fatigued  to 
tojdeath  with  restless  days  and  sleepless  nights, 
search  of  happiness  where  rt  cannot  be 
found.  But  when  I  ask,  *'why  am  I  not 
amongst   them?"   v.hy  am  I  particularized^ 


:  -^  ) 

made  one  of  that  little  flock  to  whom  it  is  our 
Fathers  good  pleasure  to  give  the  kingdom? 
my  Dear  Sir,  who  can  answer  this  question  f 
I  never  could  one  moment  believe  that  God 
had  confined  his  mercy  to  a  certain  number  ; 
or  unconditionally  elected  some,  and  left  the 
rest  to  shift  for  themselves.  Yet  when  I  con- 
sider the  particular  dealings  of  God  with  my 
soul,  there  is  something  in  it  (to  me)  as  in- 
comprehensible as  the  Deity  itself,  and 
which  I  suppose  I  shall  never  understand  at 
this  side  eternity.  Indeed  I  am  often  obliged 
to  withdraw  my  mind  from  the  contempla- 
tion of  it,  and  at  a  distance  to  admire  and 
adore  what  I  cannot  comprehend  ! 

Since  my  last,  I  have  been  closely  exercis- 
ed by  trials  from  w^ithout  and  temptations 
from  within,  and  at  times  found  them  as  much 
as  I  could  bear,  being  so  suited  to  my  natu!al 
disposition  as  to  make  them  come  with  the 
greater  force.  So  that  I  have  sometimes  been 
ready  to  say  ''  why  does  the  Lord  deal  thus 
with  me,"  I  could  at  times  see  it  was  the  wor* 
of  the  enemy,  but  not  at  all  times,' '  Indeed 
my  greatest  sufferings  were  my  fears  least  1  had', 
ro  should,  offend  my  God,  and  frequently  these 
F 


( 62  :) 

were  attended  even  with  terror  and  dismay, 
which  sunk  my  spirits  very  much,  and  caused 
continual  questioninj^s  concerning  my  state, 
that  text ;  '*  Perfect  loi:e  castetb  out  fear'*  w^as 
often  brought  against  me ;  at  limes  a  ray  of 
hope  supported  my  soul  when  ready  to  sink, 
and  kept  me  from  giving  up  my  profession 
of  sanctification  ;  for  this  is  what  the  enemy 
aimed  particularly  to  wrest  from  me;  one  day 
at  prayer,  being  grievously  distressed  at  the 
sight  of  myself,  and  not  able  to  conclude  con- 
cerning my  state  I  simply  told  my  distress 
to  the  Lord,  beseeching  him  to  answer  for 
himself;  indeed  he  did  put  words  into  my 
mouth  to  plead  with  him,  and  gave  me  so  clear 
a  testimony  of  his  work  on  my  heart,  as 
answered  all  doubts,  and  enabled  me  to  pur- 
sue my  way  w  ith  more  courage ;  this  was  a 
trying  time,  and  continued  long,  but  I  found 
it  was  good,  and  know  it  was  permited  in 
love.  The  Lord  has  now  granted  me  a  cessa- 
tion,  and  my  soul  enjoys  a  calm  settled  peace. 
I  see  my  nothingness,  my  extreme  poverty ^ 
my  numberless  deficiencies;  and  find  the 
Lord  Jesus  my  great,  full,  rich  supply ;  and 
enabled  to  see   clearly  his  work  on  my 


(     63     ) 

heart,  notwlthiJtanding  many  seeming  contra- 
dictions. The  inconstancy  of  my  mind  is  a 
continual  cause  of  grief  to  me,  O  that  he  would 
enable  me  to  walk  more  evenly  before  him. 
Brother  Heme  and  family  leave  town  tomor- 
row, he  was  much  blessed  here,  and  has  left 
an  increase  of  sixteen  to  the  society,  he  is  in- 
deed a  good  upright  faithful  labourer  ;  his 
\vife  finding  the  affairs  of  the  society  much 
embarrassed,  refused  the  usual  subsistence, 
and  supported  herself  and  children  by  work- 
ing at  her  trade  v.hile  here,  tho*  she  had  a 
young  child  at  the  breast.  Mr.  C.  has  arriv- 
ed, we  do  not  doubt  his  abilities  and  good 
qualities,  but  we  are  rather  cast  dovvU  by 
having  an  other    married  preacher  widi  a 

I  young  family  sent  to  us  before  we  cculd 
recruit  our  fmances  ;  we  a  now  owe  a  heavv 
debt,  and  the  Vvcekly  collections  are  not 
equal  to  the  weekly  expences,  the  bulk  of 
the  society  are  poor,  so  that  the  weight  lies 
on  a  few,  who  are  wiling,  and  do  contribute 
to  answer  the  present  expences.  But  the 
debt   still  lies.     Could  we  not  have  a  singly 

\  preacher  at  least  every  other  year  'till  we  are 
It  of  debt.     Your  sincerely  affectionate, 

ELIZA  BENNIS. 


'     64     ) 

LETTER  XXV. 
Hev.  John  V/esley....to  Mrs.  Elizu  Bermis. 

Rye,  October  28,  1771. 

II  y    DEAR    SISTER., 

IT  Is  no  wonder  that  finite  cannot  mea- 
sure Infinite.  That  man  cannot  comprehend 
the  ways  of  God.  There  ahvays  will  be  some- 
thing incomprehensible.  Som.ething  like  him- 
self in  all  his  dispensations,  we  must  therefore 
be  content  to  be  ignorant,  until  eternity  opens 
our  understanding,  particularly  with  regard  to 
the  reasons  of  his  acting  this  or  tbus.  These 
we  shall  be  acquainted  with  when  in  Abra- 
hams besom. 

As  thinking  is  the  act  of  an  embodied  spi- 
rit) playing  upon  a  set  of  material  keys,  it  is 
Kot  strange,  that  tlie  soul  can  make  but  ill 
music,  when  her  instrument  is  out  of  tune. 
'""his  is  frequently  the  case  withyou. 

And  the  trouble  and  anxiety  you  then  feel, 
are  a  natural  effect  of  the  disordered  machine  ; 
which  proportionably  disorders  the  mind* 
But  this  is  not  all,  as  long  as  you  have  to  wres- 
tle not  only  with  flesh  and  blood,  but  with 
principalities  and  powers,  wise  as  well  as  po^- 
erjul,  will  they  not  serve  themselves  of  every 
bodily  weakness,    to  increase  the  distress  of 


(     65     ) 

ihesoul  ?  But  let  them  do  as  they  may:  let  our 
frail  bodies  concur  with  su'ode  and  malicious 
spirits!  yet  see  that  you  cast  not  away  your 
confidence  wliich  hath  great  recompense  of  re- 
ward, ''  be  strong  in  the  Lord^  and  in  the  pow- 
er of  his  might''''  whereunto  you  have  attained, 
hold  fast!  and  when  you  feel  the  roughest  and 
strongest  assault,  when  the  enemy  comes  in 
like  a  flood,  do  not  reason,  do  not  (in  one 
sense)  Jight  with  him,  but  sink  down  in  the 
presence  of  your  Lord,  and  simply  lookup! 
telling  him;  '*  Lord,  I  cannot  help  myself,  I 
have  neither  wisdom  nor  strength  for  this 
war,  but  I  am  thine,  I  am  all  thine!  under 
take  for  me.  Let  none  pluck  me  out  of  thine 
hands !  keep  that  safe  which  is  committed  to 
thee,  and  preserve  it  unto  that  day.'^ 

I  am  in  great  hopes,  if  we  live  until  an 
other  conference.  L  C,  will  be  useful  as 
a  travelling  preacher,  so  would  J.  M.  if  he 
had  courage  to  break  through.  However  I 
am  pleased  he  exercises  himself  a  litte,  en- 
courage him.;  I  wish  you  would  lend  Mrs. 
Dawson  the  appeals;  take  them  from  the  book 
room,  and  present  them  to  her  in  my  name, 
go  yourself,  for  I  wish  you  to  be  acquainted 
•with  her.  I  believe  they  will  satisfy  her  about 
F  2 


66 


the  church;  she  halts  just  as  i  did  many 
years  ago.  Be  not  shy  towards  brother  Col- 
iins,  he  is  an  upright  man.  Sister  L.  is  al- 
ready  doing  good  in  Cionmell,  do  you  cor- 
respond with  her.?  Your  Affectionate, 
JOHN  WESLEY. 


LETTER.  XXVL 

Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis,...to  the  Rev.  John  Wesley. 
Limerick  November  14,  1771. 

DEAR  SIR, 

I  am  truly  thankful  for  your  last  favour,  it 
has  proved  indeed  a  blessing  to  my  soul,  O 
ma}- 1  be  grateful  for  every  help  my  merciful 
God  aiibrds.  I  do  in  some  degree  Und  my 
soul  prosper,  I  know  the  Lord  has  taken  the 
bent  of  back- sliding  out  of  my  heart,  and  do 
find  it  my  settled  purpose  to  cleave  to  him, 
and  follow^  him  wheresoever  he  shall  lead  me, 
but  O  I  want  to  live  more  close  to  him,  more 
entirely  devoted  to  his  will.  I  have  often  admir- 
ed that  expression,  of  the  apostles.  *'  Not  I 
Ihe^'  this  is  what  I  want  to  experience.  That 
death  of  self,  that  may  enable  me  also  to  say 
''  Not  I  live^^  indeed  the  trials  I  meet  with 
from  this  /,  makes  me  long  for  that  happy 
period.     Lam  Dear  Sir  Sec. 

ELIZA  BENNIS. 


(     67     ; 

LETTER  XXVri. 
Rev  John  Wesley.... to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis. 

Canterbury  December  3,  1771. 

MY     DEAR    SISTER, 

I  Did  believe  brother  Collins  would  be  of 
use  to  you,  and  you  may  be  of  use  to  him, 
speak  to  each  other  without  reserve,  and  then 
you  will  seldom  meet  in  vain.  Thrust  him  out 
to  visit  the  whole  society,  (not  only  those  that 
can  give  him  meat  aud  drink)  from  house  to 
house,  according  to  the  plan  laid  down  in  the 
minutes  of  conference  ;  then  he  will  soon  see 
the  fruit  of  his  labour,  I  hope  he  is  not  asham- 
ed to  preach  Full  sahation  receivable  now  by 
faith.  This  is  the  word  which  God  will  al- 
ways bless,  and  which  the  devil  peculiarly 
hates.  Therefore  he  is  constantly  stiring  up 
both  his  own  children  and  the  weak  children 
of  God  against  it. 

All  that  God  has  already  given  you,  hold 
fast.  But  expect  to  see  greater  things  than 
these.     Your  affectionate  J.  Wesley. 


LETTER  XXVIIL 

Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis,  to  the  Rev.  John  Wesley. 

'Limerick^  March^  17,  1772. 
Dear  Sir, 

SINCE  My  last  to  you,  I  have  had  some 

opportunities  of  conversing  with  Mrs.  D.  in 


(     68     ) 

her  I  see  what  I  have  often  thought;  that  God 
has  his  hiden  ones  unknown  to  the  world, 
even  among  the  rich  and  great,  and  surely  she 
is  one  of  them,  she  has  living  faith,  and  a 
tender  feeling  of  her  corruptions,  but  cannot 
yet  comprehend  a  total  deliverance  from  them. 
But  O  my  ignorance !  what  shall  I  do  with  her. 

The  select  band  in  particular,  and  the  soci- 
ety in  general  are  much  stirred  up  since  bro- 
ther C  came  here;  he  appointed  several  days 
of  fasting  and  prayer  for  the  revival  of  the 
work  of  God,  and  these  were  happy,  blessed, 
seasons  indeed,  the  class  meetings  are  lively, 
the  prayer  meetings  through  the  city  are  reviv- 
ed,  the  public  congregation  is  in  general  much 
larger,  and  a  deeper  seriousness  and  spirit  of 
enquiry  observable  on  outward  hearers.  I 
think  brother  G.  will  also  be  made  a  blessing, 
you  sent  him  just  in  time,  he  preaches  a  full 
and  present  salvation,  and  is  liked  by  all. 

Mr.  T.  of  Waterford,  seems  now  in  ear- 
nest, I  have  had  two  letters  from  him,  he 
has  bought  a  horse  for  brother  C.  and  sent 
him  out  on  the  circuit,  he  has  joined  the  soci- 
ety, and  prays  at  the  prayer  meetings.     God 

tloes  graciously  throw  in  a  rich  person  here 


(     69     ) 

and  there,  to  bear  the  needful  expences  of  his 
poor  followers. 

As  to  my  own  state,  every  day  brings  new 
trials,  and  satan  does  dispute  every  inch  of 
ground  with  me,  but  through  the  infinite 
mercy  of  my  God,  I  am  preserved,-  so  far  as 
I  know  of  my  own  heart  it  is  wholly  devoted 
to  his  will,  yet  many  things  arise  which  ap- 
pear contradictory  to  this,  and  causes  much 
pain,  at  times  I  do  find  a  testimony  from  God 
that  my  heart  is  cleansed  from  sin;  but  I 
want  the  abiding  witness.  Indeed  I  want  a 
steady  faith ;  the  constant  sight  I  have  of  my- 
self, keeps  me  continually  disputing  ;  perhaps 
the  Lord  sees  it  needfull  to  keep  me  down, 
that  I  may  seek  my  all  in  him.  O  may  he 
perfect  his  work  in  my  soul,  by  whatever 
means  he  sees  fit.  Dear  Sir  cease  not  to  pray 
for..,. your  affectionate  child  in  Christ  Jesus, 

ELIZA  BENNIS 


(    ro    ) 

LETTER  XXIX. 

Rev.  John  Wesley.. .to  jSIrs.  Eliza  Beniiis. 

Liverpool,  March   31,  1712. 
Dear  Sister. 

YOU  did  well  to  break  through  and  con- 
verse with  Mrs.  D.  there  is  no  doubt  but  she 
has  living  faith,  but  not  having  opportunity  to 
converse  with  believers,  she  cannot  express 
herself  u  ith  that  clearness  that  our  friends  do  ; 
cultivate  the  acquaintance.  Noii\  lay  before 
her  by  way^  of  promise  the  whole  christian 
salvation,  she  will  quickly  see  ihe  desirable- 
ness of  it,  you  may  then  lend  her.  The  **  plain 
account  of  christian  perfection"  she  will  not 
be  frightened,  but  rather  encoui-aged,  at  hear- 
ing it  is  possible  to  attain  what  her  heart  longs 
for.  While  you  are  thus  feeding  God*s  lambs, 
he  will  lead  you  into  rich  pastures. 

I  do  not  wonder  you  should  meet  with 
trials ;  it  is  by  these  your  faith  is  made  per- 
fect. You  will  find  many  things  both  in  your 
heart  and  in  jour  life  contrar}'  to  the  perfection 
of  the  Adamic  law,  but  it  does  not  follow  that 
they  are  contrary  to  the  law  of  love,  kt  this 
fill  your  heart,  and  it  is  enough,  still  continue 
active  for  God,  remember  a  talent  is  intrusted 


(    n    ; 

to  you,   see  that  you  improve  it,  he  does  not 
like  a  slothful  steward. 

Your  Affectionate  Brother 
JOHN  WESLEY. 


LETTER  XXX. 
Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis....to  the  Rev.  John  Wesley. 

Limerick^  Maij  26,  1772. 

DEAR  SIR, 

SHORTLY  After  my  last,  Mrs.  D.  her 
husband  and  the  children,  were  visited  with 
sickness,  this  affliction  has  been  made  a  bles- 
sing to  her,  she  is  now  preparing  to  go  to  the 
salt  water,  and  I  go  immediately  to  Waterford 
(where  I  shall  expect  your  next).  Our  soci- 
ety is  in  a  happy  prosperous  situation,  the 
Lord  sent  a  blessing  by  Mr.  C.  and  has  se- 
conded it  by  Mr.  G.  there  are  several  aded, 
some  converted,  and  some  made  perfect  in 
love,  the  conversions  are  deep  and  solid,  and 
chiefly  amongst  the  young  men,  three  of 
whom  are  aded  to  the  select  band,  Mr.  G's, 
deportment  has  gained  him  the  hearts  of  all, 
and  his  manner  of  enforcing  holiness  makes  it 
desirable  even  to  its  opposers.  Indeed  we 
now  feed  on  the  sincere  milk  of  the  word.... 


(      72     ) 

that  sower  of  discord  J.  D.  is  expected  here ! 
may  God  frustrate  his  coming,  or  the  evil 
which  I  dread  from  his  visit,  his  conduct  to 
brothers  G.  and  H.  was  so  inconsistent,  and  I 
saw  such  mischief  likely  to  proceed  from  it, 
that  at  my  instance  they  lay  the  whole  before 
you,  (which  I  now  inclose)  in  cases  which  so 
materially  affect  the  church  of  Christ,  and  the 
evils  resulting  from  which,  you  may  prevent, 
the  wounding  your  feelings  must  be  made  a 
secondary  matter ;  God  knows  I  would  not 
wound  them  by  this  or  any  other  disagreeable 
information,  did  I  not  think  it  much  more 
a  breach  of  duty  to  screen  these  circumstances 
jfrom  you. 

As  to  myself.  I  thank  God  my  soul  is  hap- 
py,the  Lord  is  pleased  to  make  himself  the  de- 
sire of  my  heart,  and  it  does  as  by  a  natural 
propensity  cleave  to  him.  I  certainly  do  find 
many  things  both  in  my  heart  and  life  contra- 
ry to  the  perfection  of  the  Adamic  law:  but  are 
they  not  also  contrary  to  the  law  of  love  ?  and 
I  have  been  told  that  every  breach  of  that  law 
is  sin.  How  shall  we  reconcile  that  with  St. 
John?   \i  e'-oery  wandering  thought,  cDery  for- 


(    rs    ) 

getful  interval  is  a  breach  of  that  law,  and 
every  breach  is  sin!  how  is  it  that  they  who  arc 
born  of  God  sineth  not?  There  has  been  so 
much  said  to  me  lately  on  this  head,  that  I 
would  be  thankful  for  your  thoughts  on  it,  and 
posithely  what  sin  is.  I  request  this,  not  so 
much  for  my  own'  sake,  as  for  the  sake  of 
others.     I  am  Dear  Sir  &c. 

ELIZA  BEN!<FIS. 


LETTER   XXXr. 
Rev.  John  Wesley. ..to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis. 

7'arm,  June  16,  1772. 
KY  Dear  Sister, 

AS  Often  as  you  can,  I  request  you  will 
converse  personally  or  by  letter  with  Mrs.  D. 
her  heart  is  much  united  to  you,  and  I  believe 
you  are  particularly  called  to  be  useful  to 
those  whom  the  riches  or  the  grandeur  of 
this  world,  keep  at  a  distance  from  the  pure 
word  of  God....  V/hen  you  are  at  Water- 
ford,  see  that  you  be  not  idle  there.  You 
should  gather  up,  and  meet  a  band  immedi- 
ately. If  you  would  also  meet  a  class  or  two 
it  would  be  so  much  the  better,  you  know, 
the  noore  labour,  the  more  blessing.  You 
'lid  well  to  send  me  the  last  inclosure.  it  »« 
G 


7m^ 

absolutely  needful  I  should  be  acquainted  with 
all  such  matters.... the  contrary  would  be 
false  delicacy.  I  have  written  to  Limerick 
if  J.  D.  should  go  there  in  the  same  spirit 
wherein  he  has  been  for  some  time,  to  take 
care  that  he  do  no  mischief.  If  he  should 
proceed  in  that  impetuous  manner,  we  shall 
be  obliged  to  take  harsher  measures.  This 
I  should  be  sorry*  for  ;  one  would  not  cut  oft 
a  limb,  while  there  is  any  hope  of  recovering 
it. 

Nothing  is  sin  strictly  speaking,  but  a  vo- 
luntary transgression  of  a  known  law  of  God. 
Therefore  every  voluntary  breach  of  the  law 
of  love  is  sin  :  and  nothing  else,  if  we  speak 
properly.     To  strain  the  matter  farther,   is 
only  to  make  way  for  Calvinism.       There 
may  be  ten  thousand  wandering  thoughts,  and, 
forgetful   intei-vals    without     any   breach  of 
love    though  not  without   transgressing   the 
Adamic  law.  But  Calvinist's  would  fain  con- 
found these  together.    Let  love  fill  your  heart, , 
and  it  is  enough  !  Your  Affectionate  Brother, 

JOHN  WESLKY 


(    rs    ) 

LETTER  XXXIT. 

Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis....to  the  Revd.John  Wesley. 
Waterford,  August  8,  1772. 

DEAPv    SIR^ 

YOUR  Last  favour  reached  me  here,  it 
ame  timely  to  quiet  many  fears,  blessed  be 
God  who  has  in  mercy  restored  you  again  to 
his  people,  I  request  to  know  particularly  how 
your  health  is  at  present.  This  society  is  in- 
creased in  number  and  grace  since  I  was  last 
here  ;  I  do  meet  a  Band  and  a  class,  we  all 
speak  with  freedom.  I  love  the  people,  and 
I  believe  they  love  me,  there  are  three  preach- 
ers on  the  circuit  and  all  have  work  enough. 
J.  D.  is  now  in  Limerick,  but  as  yet  quiet, 
why  did  you  not  write  to  himself  also  ?  Your 
answer  to  my  last  question  has  given  me 
much  satisfaction,  as  I  would  always  chose  to 
have  your  authority  for  any  thing  I  should 
advance.  I  thmk  I  am  ever  learning,  and 
still  a  novice,  I  am  even  astonished  at  my  own 
blindness;  yet  my  greatest  defect  does  npt 
lie  here,  I  find  I  do  not  want  the  light  of  truth, 
so  much  as  the  fire  of  love.  Here  indeed  I 
am  miserably  deficient,  my  cold,  dead,  stupid 
heart  is  seldom  lively  or  active  after  God. 


(     76     ) 

How  is  this,  if  it  be  wholly  given  to  him? 
(which  indeed  I  think  it  is)  in  short  I  think  I 
am  the  most  inconsistent  of  all  creatures,  and 
amongst  all  I  converse  with,  can  meet  none 
like  myself,  my  mind  is  prone  to  wander,  or 
rather  it  is  seldom  stayed,  and  though  I  feel 
almost  continual  distress  for  this,  yet  still  it 
continues  the  same ;  this  makes  me  less  use- 
ful than  I  might  be,  and  is  often  a  reproach  to 
me,  when  I  speak  or  act  for  God.  Amongst 
the  number  that  do  request,  and  are  in  some 
degree  worthy  of  your  prayers,  may  the  Lord 
sometimes  bring  to  your  mind,  your  weak 
unworthy  Sister. 

ELIZA  BENNIS. 


LETTER   XXXIII. 

Rev.   John  Wesley. i..to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis. 

Bristol,  August  31  1772. 
My  Dear  Sister. 

MY  Health  is  not  worse,  but  rather  bet- 
ter ;  your  account  of  the  society  in  Waterford 
is  pleasing,  continue  to  exercise  your  talent  / 
amongst  them,  and  you  will  be  a  gainer  by  it. 
You  need  not  dispute  or  reason  about  the 
na77ic  which  belongs  to  the  state  you  are  in. 


(    'r7    ) 

you  know  what  you  have  :  be  thankful  for  it. 
You  know  what  you  want,  zeal,  hvehness, 
StabiUt}^,  deliverance  from  wandering  imagi- 
nations. Well  then,  ask  and  it  shall  be  given. 
The  way  into  the  holiest  is  open  through  the 
blood  of  Jesus.  You  have  free  access  through 
him, 

*'  Tolilm  your  every  want 
In  instant  prayei*  display 
Pray  always,  pray  and  never  faint 
Pray,  without  ceasing  Pray  !" 

See  lielp  while  yet  you  ask  is  given  ?  I  am 
Dear  Sister,  Your  AfFectionate  Brother, 
JOHN  WESLEY, 


LETTER  XXXIV. 

iNIrs.  Eliza  Bennis....to  the  Rev.  John   Wesley 

Limerick^  October  1^,  1772. 
jMy  Dear  Sir. 

A  multiplicity  of  hindrances  prevented 
my  acknowledging  the  receipt  of  your  last 
favour  till  now.  I  left  the  Waterford  Society . 
in  a  prosperous  situation :  but  have  found 
this  in  a  decline,  and  in  confusion  ;  the  sower 
of  tares  has  got  amongst  them*  O  how  is  it 
that  the  followers  of  Christ  cannot  speak  and 
think,  and  act  in  love  ?  since  my  last  I  have- 
been  wading  through  deep  waters ;  many  tri- 
G  2 


(      ^8      ) 

als  pressing  hard  on  me,  and  all  together, 
and  so  suited  as  to  make  them  the  more  dis- 
tressing ;  so  that  I  have  been  at  times  ready 
to  sink  under  their  weight,  And  yet  I  think 
these  very  trials  would  not  be  so  tryiug  to 
another,  and  therefore  that  this  is  a  mark  of 
the  want  of  grace  in  me ;  my  ignorance  and 
blindness  is  so  great,  that  I  frequently  know 
not  whether  I  am  right  or  wrong.  But  the 
Lord  my  God  knows  that  the  desire  of  my 
soul  is  to  do  his  will  ;  he  knows  why  he 
suffers  me  to  be  so  closely  exercised.  I  do 
not,  I  cannot,  find  fault,  with  what  he  either 
docs  with  or  suffers  upon  me ;  but  I  would 
that  he  would  give  me  more  strength,  and  that 
his  presence  might  be  with  me,  for  I  feel  it 
more  than  nature  is  able  to  support  under,  to 
bear  the  weight  of  inward  and  outward  afflic- 
lions,  and  the  absence  of  God  altogether. 
His  love  is  better  than  life,  and  under  the 
cheering  light  of  his  countenance,  I  could 
suffer  any  thing,  but  for  some  time  past  this 
has  been  eclipsed,  except  at  short  and  seldom 
intervals,  my  desire  is,  that  he  himself  would 
search  out  the  cause ;  and  think  my  heart  lies 
open  and  honest  before  him;  he  knows  I 
would  not  be  deceived,  and  that  all  in  Heaven 


C     79     ) 

or  Earth  cannot  satisfy  without  himself,  i 
feel  a  consolation  in  thus  spreading  my  state 
before  you,  and  am  thankful  to  God  for  this 
privilege.  Had  I  such  an  opportunity  as  I 
long  for,  I  could  say  much,  which  I  cannot 
commit  to  paper.  But  as  the  Lord  in  mercy 
to  us  has  spared  your  useful  life,  and  restored 
to  you  a  measure  of  health,  shall  we  not  see 
you  next  summer?  may  we  expect  it  ?...!  have 
had  some  late  opportunities  of  Mrs.  D.  I  think 
her  in  a  happy  state  ;  but  the  distress  of  my 
mind,  has  made  these  opportunities  fewer  than 
otherwise  they  would  be.... I  know  Satan  de- 
sires to  sift  me  as  wheat,  and  I  am  content  to 
undergo  the  winnowing,  so  I  lose  only  the 
chaiF.  My  soul  with  all  the  feeble  power  it 
has,  hangs  upon  the  Lord,  and  hope  he  wiU 
again  restore  to  me  the  joy  of  his  salvation.  O 
pray  for  your  weak  unworthy  Sister 

ELIZA  BENNIS. 


LETTER  XXXV. 
Rev.  John  Wesley  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis. 

Colchester^  -November  3,  1772. 

DEAR    SISTER, 

YOUR  time  was  well  bestowed  at  water- 
ford  ;  many  I  doubt  not  will  remember  it  with 
thankfulness.     But  why  this  want  of  dicipline 


(      80     ) 

in  Limerick  !  whenever  this  is  clroped  all  is 
confusion,  see  that  it  be  immediately  restored. 
Captain  Webb  is  now  in  Dublin,  invite  him 
to  visit  Limerick,  he  is  a  man  of  fire,  and  the 
power  of  God  constantly  accompanies  his 
word,  speak  a  little  to  as  many  as  you  can, 
go  among  them,  to  their  houses,  speak  in  love 
and  discord  will  vanish.  It  is  hardly  possible  for 
you  to  comfort  or  strenghten  others,  without 
some  comfort  returning  into  your  own  bosom. 

It  is  probable  I  shall  visit  Ireland  in  spring, 
though  I  am  almost  a  disabled  soldier.  I  am 
forbid  to  ride,  and  am  obliged  to  travel  mostly 
in  a  carriage. 

Whom  do  you  think  proper  to  succeed  the 
present  preachers  at  Limerick  and  Waterford? 
You  have  need  to  stir  up  the  gift  of  God  that 
is  in  you.  Light  will  spring  up.  Why  not 
now  ?  is  not  the  Lord  at  hand  ?  I  am,  my 
Dear  Sister  Your  Affectionate  Brother, 

JOHN  WESLEY. 


LETTER  XXXVI. 
Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis...to  the  Rev.  John  Wesley. 
Limerick^  December^  1st  1772 

DEAR  SIR, 

Blessed  be  my  God,  through  many  and 
grievous  trials,  he   does  still  support  and  up 


(      81      ) 

hold  a  feeble  worm ;  he  does  perfect  his 
strength  in  my  weakness,  and  enables  me  to 
pursue  my  way,  determined  by  his  grace  to 
follow  him,  whithersoever  he  shall  lead  me. 
But  I  think  in  this,  I  do  not  enjoy  that  mea- 
sure of  sweetness  and  delight,  which  others 
do. 

However  distressing  it  may  be  to  con- 
sider you  as  a  disabled  soldier,  the  expecta- 
tion  of  seeing  you  here  again,  gives  me  much 
satisfaction,  may  the  Lord  prosper  your  way, 
and  make  your  coming  a  blessing  to  all. 

Our  society  is  once  more  re-adjusted,  we 
all  seem  to  be  in  love,  and  in  earnest ;  Captain 
Webb's  visit  has  proved  a  blessing;  our 
house  was  not  large  enough  for  the  congre- 
gations, many  outward  hearers  seem  under 
awakenings.  If  we  could  now  have  a  succes- 
sion of  strange  preachers  from  the  neighbour- 
ing circuits,  perhaps  poor  Limerick  might 
once  more  raise  its  head.  I  am  my  Dear 
Sir,  Your  Affectionate  Sister, 

ELIZA  BENNIS» 


(     82      ) 

LETTER    XXXVII. 
Rev.  John  Wesley.. .to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis. 

Shoreham^  December  16,   1772. 
Dear  Sister  Bknnis. 

THE  plan  which  you  mention,  I  prefer 
to  any  other,  and  have  wrote  to  put  it  in  prac- 
tice immediately. 

I  think  you  make  most  of  your  trials,  by 
unbelief  and  giving  too  much  way  to  rea- 
soning; do  not  stoop  to  reason  with  the  ad- 
versary, but  fly  to  the  strong  for  more  strength, 
which  by  asking  you  will  receive.  Be  dili- 
gent in  helping  others.  I  hope  you  visit 
Mrs.  D.  frequently  ;  let  not  your  talent  rust, 
but  see  to  gain  double  interest,  you  work  for 
a  generous  master.  Fight  on  and  conquer 
all !  Joy  you  shall  have,  if  joy  is  best.. ..My 
dear  Sister  adieu.  Your  aifectionate  Bro- 
ther. 

JOHN  WESLEY. 


LETTER  XXXVIII. 
Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis.. .to  the  Rev.  John  Wesley. 
Limerkk^  January  23,  1773. 

DEAR  SIR. 

THE  first  day  of  this  month  was  kept  by 
thissociety,  and  by  all  the  societies  in  the  three 
neighbouring  circuits,  as  a  day  of  fasting  and 


(      83      ) 

prayer,  to  intercede  with  God  for  a  revival  of 
his  work  here  ;  it  was  indeed  a  solemn  day, 
and  at  the  renewal  of  the  covenant  at  night, 
God  did  hear  prayer,  and  wonderfully  mani- 
fested himself  in  the  midst  of  us;  I  think 
many  Avill  remember  it  long  ;  since  then  our 
congregations  are  encreased,  seventeen  added 
to  the  society,  nine   of  which  are  justified, 
and  seven  of  our  old  members  profess  to  be 
renewed  in  love.     The  prayer  meetings  are 
re-established,  and  our  preachers  are  liked ; 
and  beloved  as  holy  zealous  men.     Why  are 
not  fast  days  more  frequent  among  the  Me-r 
thodists  in  general  ?    I  have   observed  that 
God  always  particularly  blesses   such  times 
here,  and  why  not  elsewhere  ? 

I  find  that  the  Lord  is  indeed  my  portion, 
and  he  does  enable  me  to  press  after  him 
through  many  hinderances;  I  see  there  is  no 
standing  still,  and  am  ashamed  I  have  loiter- 
ed so  long,  may  he  help  me  to  double  m)^ 
diligence;  this  by  his  grace  is  my  determi- 
nation. Yet  I  am  so  well  acquainted  with 
my  own  extreme  weakness,  that  I  cannot  pro- 
mise for  myself  one  hour.  Hitherto  my  God 
hath  helped  me,  and  in  him  is  all  my  dej^:>en 


(     84     ) 

dance;  past  mercies  encourage  me  to  trust 
him  for  future  support,  and  his  faithfulness 
strengthens  my  confidence.  I  see  myself  a 
poor  weak  helpless  creature;  poor  beyond 
description  I  and  this  view  drives  me  to  the 
Lord  Jesus,  whose  fuUness  alone,  I  find  suffi- 
cient for  all  my  wants  ;  and  my  whole  soul 
acquiesces  and  is  thankful  for  this  gracious 
glorious  method  of  Salvation,  O  that  the  obe- 
dience of  my  life  might  testify  my  gratitude, 
and  my  heart  return  love  for  love.  But  here 
I  fail ;  in  both  I  am  miserably  deficient,  and 
cannot  say  I  am  at  all  satisfied  with  myself; 
yet  when  the  power  of  faith  is  strong,  this 
brings  me  again  to  the  same  place,  so  that 
I  am  not  the  poorer  for  my  poverty,  Christ 
is  my  refuge,  and  my  soul  hides  under  his 
merit,  and  leaves  the  whole  to  him,  thus  I  am 
supported  with  strength  not  my  own,  and 
live  wholly  on  the  bounty  of  an  other ;  and 
while  I  expect  nothing  from  myself,  I  am  not 
disappointed  ;  could  I  always  be  able  thus  to 
exercise  my  faith,  I  should  always  be  happy. 
But  O  my  blindness,  what  labyrinths  am  I 
too  often  led  into  by  my  own  ignorance.  Dear 
Sir,    continue  to  instruct  one  of  the  w^'^l*'^'^* 


(     85      ) 

that  applies  to  our  common  Father,  and  to  you 
as  his  special  messenger  for  counsel. 

Your  truly  Affectionate  Sister, 

ELIZx\  BENNIS. 


LETTER  XXXIX. 

Rev.  John  Wcfsley to    Mrs.    Eliza  Bennis. 

February^  12,  1773 

My  dear  sister. 

WHEN  we  draw  near  to  God  in  his  ap- 
pointed ways,  he  will  surely  draw  near  to  us ; 
pray  remind  Mr.  G.  of  using  the  same  means, 
then  he  and  you  will  find  the  same  blessing ; 
write  to  Waterford  to  brother  S.  and  encour- 
age him  to  do  there  as  he  did  at  Limerick. 

I  can  observe  by  Mrs.  D's.  manner  of  wri- 
ting, a  very  considerable  change  in  her   spirit 

more  acquaintance  \\\\h  Ccd;  more  humility 
and  more  artless  simple  love  j  I  am  much 
pleased  ye  visit  so  frequently  continue  to  lead  the 
simple,  and  God  will  give  you  more  wisdom. 
As  long  as  you  trust,  not  in  yourself,  but 
in  him  that  has  all  power  in  Heaven  and  in 
Earth ;  you  will  find  his  grace  sufficient  for 
you  and  his  strengdi  made  perfect  iny  our  weak- 
ness.    Look  to  him  continually,  and  trust   in. 

him,  that  you  may  increase  with    all  the    in- 
H 


3G 


crease  of  God,  I  am,  my  Dear  Sister,   Your 
ever  AiFecticnate  Brother, 

JOHN  WESLEY. 


LETTER  XL. 
Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis,  to  ihe  Rev.  John  Wesley. 
Limerick^  March  16,  1773. 

BEAR  SIR, 

By  a  letter  from  Mrs.  D.  now  in  Cork, 
I  am  informed  that  Ave  may  expect  you  in  the 
kingdom  next  month,  may  the  Lord  prosper 
your  way,  and  give  you  to  see  much  fruit  of 
your  labour.   I  never  longed  more  to  see  you, 
yet  am  afraid  to  solace  myself  in  the  expecta- 
tion, least  the  Lord  should  see  fit  to  cfisappoint 
me.     I  am  still  the  same   poor  tottering  fee- 
ble creature  ;  bowed  down  under  a  sense  of 
my  numberless  deficiencies,  yet  wonderfully 
and  graciously  supported  by  strength  not  my 
own.  I  think  others  go  on  much  more  comfort- 
ably than  I  do,  but  perhaps  the  Lord  sees  this 
best  for  m.e,  and  could  I  always  see  his  will  in 
it,  I  should  be  satisfied  ;  for  he  knows  I   de- 
sire to  suffer  his  will.     Indeed  I  think  in  the 
whole  world  there  cannot  be  a  more  feeble  or  ' 
unprofitable  creature.     When  I  consider  the 
helps  which  are  afforded  me,  and  my  non-.im-. 


(   er   ) 

prove ment  of  all,  my  spirit  is  even  sunk 
within  me  ;  and  though  I  am  enabled  to  come 
to  the  Lord  Jesus  as  my  only  refuge,  yet  I 
f^c]  a  v/ant  of  that  strength  and  vigour  of  soul 
>vhich  would  bring  glory  to  God,  or  comfort 
sufficient  to  my  own  soul.... I  propose  much 
satisfliction  to  myself  in  laying  open  my  state 
before  you,  when  1  have  the  happiness  of  see- 
ing you,  if  the  Lord  shall  think  fit  to  afford 
me  an  opportunity :  'till  then  I  hope  for  the 
assistance  of  your  prayers,  and  am,  &g. 

EI.IZA  BENNIS. 


LETTER  XLL 
Key.  John  \ytsley...:o  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennls. 

Dublin,  April,  1,  177 Z. 

MY  DEAR  SISTER. 

I  FEAR  you  are  too  idle,  this  will  cer- 

.  imly  bring  condemnation.  Up  and  be  doing  ! 

do  not  loiter,  see  that  your  talent  rust  not, 

rather  let  it  gain  ten  more,  and  it  it?///,  if  you 

»  use  it* 

You  are  permitted  to  be  in  heaviness,  to 

;  humble  and  prove  you  yet  more.    Then  you 

shall  come  forth  as  Gold.     If  vou   love   me 

you  will   both   VvTite    and   speak   freely,   to 

my  Dear  Sister,  Your  Affectionate ; 

JOHN  WESLEY. 


(     C8     ) 

LETTER  XLir. 
Mrs..  Eliza  Bennis,  to  the  Rev.  John  Wesle). 
Limerick,  August,  25,  1773. 

DEAR    SIR, 

THE  want  of  any  thing  particular  this 
some  time  past,  has  prevented  my  troubl- 
ing you,  or  intruding  on  your  more  precious 
time.  Br.t  the  desire  of  receiving  a  line  from 
you,  has  obliged  me  to  break  through.  Bles- 
sed be  God  he  does  carry  on  his  work  amongst 
us ;  tjiere  has  been  several  days  of  fasting  and 
prayer  kept  by  the  select  band,  and  two  by 
the  whole  society,  and  I  believe  most,  found 
them  solemn  seasons;  nor  has  the  Lord  suf- 
fered us  to  seek  his  face  in  vain,  some  are 
added,  some  ccnvtrrcd,  and  some  renewed  in 
love.  The  young  men  are  again  stirred  up, 
and  I  hope  more  in  earnest  than  they  have 
been  for  several  months;  the  select  band 
meet  well,  and  our  meetings  are  comfortable 
because  preachers  and  people  are  all  of  one 
mind,  and  whilst  this  is  the  case,  the  band 
will  thrive.  As  for  myself,  I  have  taken  the 
Lord  for  my  portion,  instead  of  every  other 
good.  I  have  solemnly  (and  I  think  without 
reserve)  surrendered  m}  self  and  all  my  con- 
cerns into  his  hands  with  an  entire  submission 


{     80     ) 

to  his  will ;  then  how  is  it,  that  I  find  disap- 
pointments in  temporals  (with  which  I  am 
now  surrounded)  bear  so  heavy  on  me  ?  And 
be  capable  of  giving  me  so  much  distress  ^ 
The  effect  thatoutward  trials  have  on  my  mind, 
causes  many  questionings,  and  uneasy  fears ; 
and  often  puts  me  to  a  stand  concerning  my 
experience.  At  times  the  Lord  does  give  me 
to  see  that  I  am  all  his ;  but  are  not  trials  the 
surest  proof  of  our  grace  ?  Indeed  I  see  what 
a  poor  novice  I  am  !  How  little  I  know,  and 
how  little  I  can  suiTer  or  bear  for  my  great 
and  gracious  Master's  sake,  surely,  I  want 
an  increase  of  faith !  O  help  me  by  your 
prayers....!  am  Dear  Sir,  Your  affectionate, 

ELIZA  BENNIS. 


LETTER  XLIII 
Rev.  John  Wesley. ..to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis. 
Bristol,  September  10,  1773, 

MY    DEAR    SISTEll, 

WHEN  two  or  three  agree  to  seek  God 
by  fasting  and  prayer,  it  cannot  be  that  their 
labours  should  be  in  vain.  Especially  if  they 
add  their  endeavours  to  their  prayer  for  the 
increase  of  the  work  of  God.  I  hope  you 
will  incourage  every  preacher  to  visit  the 
H2 


(     90     ) 

whole  society  in  order ^  from  house  to  house  ^ 
dinner  or  drinking  tea,  does  not  answer  the 
satne  intention.  This  may  and  ought  to  be 
done  over  and  above. 

I  thought  you  had  been  in  more  danger  of 
being  hurt  by  worldly  abundance  than  world- 
ly care.  But  we  cannot  stand  under  either 
one  or  the  other,  unless  we  be  endued  widi 
power  from  on  high.  And  that  continually, 
from  hour  to  hour,  or  rather  from  moment  to 
moment.  Yet  distress  is  not  sin  ;  we  may 
be  grieved  and  still  resigned.  And  this  is 
acceptable  with  God.  In  all  these  cases,  you 
should  reraember  that  observation,  never  to 
be  let  slip, 

**  With  even  mind,  thy  course  of  duty  nin  : 

*'  God  notliing  dees,  or  suffers  to  be  donc^ 

•'  But  thou  wpuld'at  do  thyself;  if  thou  coulc/'st  see 

"  The  end  oi  all  events,  as  well  as  He  !" 

My  dear  Sister,  Adieu.. ..Your  Affection- 
ate Brother.  JOHN  WESLEY. 


LEITERXLIV. 

Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis,  to  the  Rev.  John  Wesley. 
Limerick,  November  11,  17TS. 
Dear  Sir, 

THOUGH  the  Lord  has  blessed  my 
husband's  industry,  far  above  our  expectation, 
and  has  given  me  both  the   necessaries  and 


(     91     ) 

conveniencics  of  lifej  yet  with  these  I  feel 
such  a  measure  of  trouble  and  care,  and  such 
a  mixture  of  uneasiness^  as  makes  me  often 
sick  of  the  enjoyment. 

I  see  the  hand  of  God  in  this,  and  have 
reason  to  praise  his  name,  that  he  does  not 
suifer  me  to  rest  in  any  thing  below  himself, 
but  does  so  embitter  earthly  enjoyments  to 
me  as  continually  to  remind  me  that  happi- 
ness is  not  in  them,  thus  trials,  disappoint- 
ments and  difficulties  in  life  are  at  times  made 
profitable  by  keeping  my  heart  weaned  from 
earthly  comforts,  and  pointing  me  constantly 
to  the  Lord  Jesus  where  only  solid  happiness 
is  to  be  found.  But  in  my  passing  through 
these,  I  find  much  cause  of  dissatisfaction 
with  myself;  I  see  I  do  not  suffer  or  bear  as  I 
should  ;  in  every  respect  I  come  short,  and 
thereby  continually  make  additional  cause  of 
sorrow  and  distress  for  myself. 

There  is  one  particular  evil  that  cleaves  to 
me,  and  causes  me  much  bitterness  of  soul; 
that  is  a  hastiness  of  spirit  with  my  children, 
a  fire  within,  that  like  lightning  suddenly  flash- 
es, and  is  ready  to  bum  up  all  before  it ;  this 
is  worse  to  me  than  all  outward  tryals,  these 
I  look  upon  as  under  the  direction  of  that  pro- 


(     9:2     ) 

vidence  who  guides  all  things  for  his  own 
glory  and  my  good,  But  this  appears  as  a  fiend 
within  ;  as  an  enemy  cf  God,  still  harboured 
in  the  heart,  and  rises  continually  as  an  evi- 
dence against  me.  that  I  am  all  wrong.  I 
i;trive  and  pray  against  it,  but  am  not  deliver-^' 
ed  :  is  this  consistent  with  an  heart  perfected 
in  love  1  There  are  some  of  my  intimate 
friends,  whose  complaints  are  the  same  with 
mine ;  and  for  whose  sake  as  well  as  my  own 
I  would  be  thankful  for  your  judgment  and 
advice.  And  as  your  letters  are  always  made 
a  blessing  to  me,  I  request  you  will  favour  me 
with  your  opinion,  directed  to  Wateiford, 
where  I  am  nov/  preparing  to  go,  I  am  Dear 
Sir.     Your  truly  Affectionate  Sister, 

ELIZA  BENNIS. 


LKTTiiH  XLV. 

Kev.  John  Wesley.. ..to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis. 

Sheerness  December  1,  1773. 

MY    DEAR    SISTER, 

SOME  Time  since,  when  I  heard  brother 
Bennis  had  got  '^i^ery  rich,  I  was  in  fear  for 
you,  least  tlie  world  should  again  find  a  way 
into  your  heart,  and  damp  your  noblest  affec- 
tions ;  I  am  not  sorrj'  that  you  have  not  that 


(     93     ) 

temptation;  It  is  most  desirable,  to  have  nei- 
ther poverty,  nor  riches  j  but  still,  you  cannot 
be  without  temp  tation,  unless  you  would 
go  out  of  the  world.  How  far  that  sudden  emo- 
tion which  you  speak  of,  is  a  preternatural 
dart  from  Satan,  and  how  far  it  springs  from 
your  own  heart,  it  is  exceeding  hard  to  judge. 
It  is  possible  it  may  be  neither  one  nor  the 
other,  buta  meer  effect  of  the  natural  mecha- 
nism of  the  body,  which  has  no  more  of 
either  good  or  evil,  than  the  blushing  or  burn- 
ing pole.  But  whether  it  be  natural  or  pre- 
ternatural it  is  grievous  to  one  whose  consci- 
ence is  tender.  We  naay  therefore  undoubt- 
edly pray  against  it.  And  surely  he  can  and 
will  deliver  us.  Come  therefore  boldly  to  the 
throne  of  grace,  and  find  grace  to  help  in  time 
of  need. 

You  wdll  find  full  emoyment  in  Waterford ; 
I  believe  that  society  wants  your  exertions  ; 
see  therefore  that  you  be  not  weary  of  well 
doing.     I  am  my  Dear  sister. 

Your  Affectionate  Brother, 

JOHN  WESLEY, 


(  ^i  ) 

LKTTER    XLVI. 

Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis..*.to  the  Ktv.  John  V/tsle) , 
JVaterfora',  December  29,  1773. 

DEAR  SIR, 

YOUR  Last  gave  me  much  satisfaction, 
as  indeed  all  your  letters  do  ;  O  what  cause 
have  I  to  be  thankful  for  such  helps;  when  I 
find  any  thing  in  my  experience  \\  hich  appears 
doubtful,  1  am  rather  api  lo  conclude  against 
myself,  and  though  this  may  proceed  from  an 
honesty  of  heart ;  yet  it  has  often  been  cause 
of  much  distress  to  me,  by  opening  a  way  for 
the  disputations  of  the  enemy,  and  indeed  of 
my  owTi  mind,  for  I  am  of  myself  led  to  look 
for  that  uniformity  in  all  my  experience  which 
appears  to  me  consistent  with  a  state  of  per- 
fection, but  which  I  certainly  do  not  find ;  and 
so  great  is  my  ignorance  that  I  knownot  where 
to  lay  the  blame ;  I  cannot  charge  it  on  God, 
therefore  I  willingly  lay  it  on  myself;  and 
from  this  cause  have  been  times  without  num 
ber  ready  to  give  up  my  hold  as  to  the  work 
of  sanctification,  but  am  prevented,  I  know 
not  how?  Indeed  in  every  particular  case 
your  judgment  determines  the  matter,  and 
gives  full  satisfaction,  nor  can  I  be  satisfied 


however  clear  the  case  may  appear  to  my  mind, 
until  I  receive  your  approbation  of  it,  and 
even  then  I  am  often  apt  to  think  you  pass  too 
favourable  a  judgment  on  me. 

Indeed  in  general  I  find  such  a  deadness  of 
affection,  such  a  want  of  ^varmth  and  fervor 
of  spirit  towards  God,  and  such  an  unaccoun- 
table unsteadiness  of  mind,  and  proneness  to 
wander,  as  I  think  none  else  who  make  the 
same  profession  does  experience ;  what  shall 
I  say  to  this  ?  If  the  evil  propensity  be  taken 
out  of  my  heart,  why  should  I  find  any  diffi- 
culty in  keeping  it  stayed  upon  God  ?  This  • 
was  the  case  once,  but  it  is  not  so  now,  nor 
can  I  at  any  time  doubt  but  that  the  work  was 
w  rought,  but  finding  it  not  with  me  no%v  as 
it , was  then,  I  ofteUj  suffer  painful  fears,  least 
all  sfiould  not  now  be  right.  My  Dear  Sir,  I 
know  your  love,  will  bear  w  ith  all  my  folly, 
and  as  I  would  act  without  disguise  before 
you,  so  I  hope  you  will  lay  my  weakness 
I  before  the  Lord;  indeed  it  is  often  my  request 
that  he  would  lay  me  upon  your  heart  in  pray- 
er, blessed  be  his  name,  through  the  \\hoIe,  I 
do  find  it  the  desire  of  .my  soul  to  do  his  will* 
»,.,He  has  in  much  mercy  brought  me  safe  t<^ 


(  96     ) 

this  place,  but  cannot  see  wherein  I  can  h% 
useful  here,  1  think  I  never  was  less  fit  to  act 
for  God,  yet  find  a  willingness  to  act  even 
without  life,  but  the  people  are  very  dead  and 
do  not  meet.     I  am  Dear  Sir,  Yours  &c. 


ELIZA  BENNIS. 
LETTER    XLVU, 

Rev  John  Wesley... .to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis. 

London  January  18,   1774. 

MY    DEAR    SISTER, 

A  WILL  steadily  and  uniformly  devot- 
ed to  God  is  essential  to  a  state  of  sanctifica- 
tion ;  but  not  an  uniformity  of  joy,  or  peace, 
or  happy  communion  with  God.  These  may 
rise  and  fall  in  various  degrees;  nay  and  may 
be  affected  either  by  the  body  or  by  diaboli- 
cal agency,  in  a  manner  which  all  our  wisdom 
can  neither  understand  nor  prevent.  As  to 
wanderings,  you  would  do  right  well  to  con- 
sider the  seiTnon  on  wandering  thoughts,  you 
might  likewise  profit  by  Elizabeth  Harper's 
journal,  whose  experience  much  resembled 
yours,  only  she  was  more  simple  :  and  you 
may  learn  from  her,  to  go  straight  to  liod,  as  a 
litde  child,  and  tell  him  all  your  trouble; ,  and 
hindrances  and  doubts;    and    desire  him  to 


iiirn  them  all  to  good.  You  are  net 
sent  to  Waterfofd  to  be  useless.  Stir  up  the 
gift  of  God  which  is  in  you;  gather  together 
those  that  have  been  scattered  abroad, 
and  make  up  a  band ;  if  not.  a  class  or  two* 
Your  best  way  would  be  to  visit  from  house  to 
house,  by  this  means  you  can  judge  of  their 
conduct  and  disposition  in  domestic  life,  and 
may  have  opportunity  to  speak  to  the  young 
of  the  family.  Besides,  this  will  stir  up  the 
preachers  to  do  the  same,  which  will  be  a  great 
point  gained  ;  as  it  is  very  hard  to  get  them  to 
attend  to  this  most  essential  part  of  theirduty.... 
By  motion  you  will  contract  warmth.  By  im- 
parting life  you  will  increase  it  in  yourself. 

As  to  the  circumstance  mentioned  in  the 
post- script  of  your  last.  I  should  really  think 
you  would  do  well  to  exert  yourself  in  that 
matter  as  much  as  possible.  It  will  be  a  cross, 
take  up  that  cross,  bear  your  cross,  and  it  will 
bear  you  ;  and  if  you  do  it  with  a  single  eye, 
k  will  be  no  loss  to  your  soul. 
I  .im  my  Dear  Sister, 

Your  Affectionate  Brother, 
JOHN  WESLKY. 
I 


(     98      ) 

LETTER  XLVIII. 

From  Mrs.  BeFin]s....to  the  Rev.  John  Wesley. 
IVaterfcrd^  Fcbruarij  10,  17/4. 

DEAP.   SIR. 

AS  usual  your  letter  brought  a  blessing 
with  it,  from  the  time  I  received  it  my  miixl 
has  been  more  at  rest,  and  my  soui  more 
happy;  I  have  Elizabeth  Harpers  journal,  and 
sincerely  wish  I  had  her  simplicity,  I  know 
I  suiFer  for  want  of  it.  When  I  can  come 
simply  to  the  Lord  I  always  find  it  does  best 
with  me,  But  there  are  certain  exercises  of 
mind  v.  hich  I  am  often  under,  when  the  pow- 
er ofthis  is  taken  from  me;  I  endeavour  at 
such  times  to  come  to  the  Lord  Jesus  as  at 
other  times,  but  all  before  me  is  contused  and 
clouded,  so  that  I  cannot  get  through.  I  then 
think  none  whose  hearts  are  given  to  God  are 
in  this  state ;  and  from  the  view  I  then  have  of 
myself  am  ready  to  fear  that  all  is  ^vrong;  and 
am  obliged  to  stand  still  without  concluding 
on  either  side,  until  the  Lord  determine  for 
me.  Indeed  I  may  say  my  ^vhole  experience 
is  one  continued  conflict  with  the  pov/ers  of  , 
darkness  ;  I  do  not  say  this  by  way  of  com- 
plaint, but  I  think  there  is  still  such  a  mix- 
ture of  self  in  me,  that  it  has  need  of  this  fire 


(     99     ) 

to  purge  it ;  and  I  am  satisfied  it  should  be  so. 
I  love  the  Lord,  he  is  my  God,  and  his  will  is 
street  to  me,  and  am  desirous  he  should 
perfect  it  in  me,  by  whatever  means  he 
sliail  see  fit;  I  have  only  one  condition  to  make 
that  he  would  keep  me  ever  his:  But  it  is  ve- 
ry grievous  to  me  when  my  state  is  not  clear ; 
I  think  if  I  had  the  constant  approbation  of 
his  spirit,  I  should  never  complain ;  I  have 
.been  asking  for  this,  but  it  is  always  object- 
ed i  how  can  God  approve  of  such  an  unholy 
creature  ?  how  can  he  be  always  v/ell  pleased 
with  me,  when  by  reason  of  my  folly  I  must 
be  displeased  with  m}rself.  Yet  I  know  it  is 
an  easy  thing  with  him  to  remove  every  hin- 
drance, and  give  the  abiding  witness  ;  O  that 
he  would  increase  my  faith,  to  ask  so  that  I 
might  receive. 

I  am  not  likely  to  leave  this  soon  ;  but  can 
do  no  good  here,  by  the  frequent  neglect  of 
preaching,  and  the  almost  total  neglect  of  dis- 
cipline, the  people  are  scattered,  and  of  the 
few  that  remain,  some  are  grieved,  and  some 
offended  widi  this  new  method  of  preaching 
salvation  by  works ;  they  have  for  many  }ears 
by-n   taught   to    depend  on  the  Lord  Jesus 


alone  ;  and  through  his  merit  and  death  alone 
to  seek  for  justification  here,  and  a  final  ac- 
quittance at  the  great  day.  But  now  after  ally 
are  ^v*e  to  be  made  perfect  in  the  flesh,  aud  to 
be  accepted  only  for  our  works  ;  and  even  at 
the  great  day  is  our  faith,  nay  and  the  righte- 
ousness of  Christ  to  profit  us  nothing  ?  but 
our  works  only  ;  if  this  was  the  case,  might 
I  not  say , . . . '  *  U^ho  then  can  be  sated. ' ' 

Mr.  Hawksworth  a  calvinist  preacher  under 
Lady  Huntington  has  come  here,  and  preach- 
es regularly  at  Methodist  hours,  (in  a  large 
room)  and  to  large  congregations  ;  he  is  to 
stay  for  some  time,  and  when  he  goes  another 
is  to  be  sent  in  his  room ;  our  people  though 
forbid  by  the  preachers,  go  almost  constantly 
to  hear  him... I  have  spoken  to  several,  but 
with  little  effect,  and  have  heard  his  discours- 
es so  praised  that  I  did  wish  to  hear  him.... 
but  would  not  shew  the  example.... but  I  yes- 
terday paid  him  a  visit  at  his  lodging,  and. 
had  an  hours  conversation  with  him... I  charg- 
ed him  with  unfriendly  and  unchristian- like 
conduct  in  taking  advantage  of  the  disordered 
state  of  your  Society,  and  trying  at  such  a 
particular  time  to  widen  the  breach  and  glean 


(      101  ) 

all  to  himself,  which  he  indirectly    acknow-. 
ledged  was  his  motive  for  coming. 

Dear  Sir,  the  situation  of  these  poor  scat- 
tered sheep  distresses  me  much ;  O  that  God 
may  interpose  in  behalf  of  poor  Waterford, 
and  may  enable  you  to  jDoint  out  some  way 
for  their  reunion,  inclosed  I  send  you  a  par- 
ticular request  from  a  few  sincere  souls. 
Indeed  my  heart  is  pained  for  them  pray  let 
ili^  hear  from  you  soon.  I  am  Dear  Sir, 
Your  Affectionate  Sister, 

ELIZA  BENNIS. 


LETTER  XLIX. 

Kev.  John  Wesley  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis. 

London^  March  1,  1/74. 
jMy  Dkar  SietivH. 

ELIZABETH  Harper  was  frequendygin 
clouds  too:  and  in  that  case,  it  is  the  best 
way  to  stand  still,  you  can  do  nothing  but 
simply  tell  all  your  wants  to  him  that  is  both 
able  and  willing  to  supply  them. 

I  inclose  James  Perfect's  letter  to  you,  on 
purpose  that  you  may  talk  with  him.  He 
has  both  an  honest  heart,  and  a  good  under- 
standing ;  but  you  eni'irely  mistake  his  doc- 
trine. He  preaches  salvation  by  faith  in  the 
I 


C     102     ) 

same  manner,  that  my  brother  and  I  have 
clone :  and  as  Mr.  Fletcher  (one  of  the 
finest  writers  of  the  age)  has  beautifully  ex- 
plained it.  None  of  us  talk  of  being  accept- 
ed for  our  works  :  that  is  the  calvinist  slan- 
der. But  we  all  maintain,  we  are  not 
saved  without  works ;  that  works  are  a 
condition  (though  not  the  nieritorious 
cause)  of  final  salvation,  it  is  by  faith  in  the 
righteousness  and  blood  of  Christ,  that  we  are 
enabled  to  c^o  all  good  works.  And  it  is  for  the 
sake  of  these,  that  all  who  fear  God  and 
work  righteousness  are  accepted  of  him. 

It  is  far    better  for  our  people  not  to  hear 
Mr.  Hawks  worth,  calvinism  will  do  them  no 
good,  as  to  the  rest  I  refer  to  my  inclosure  to 
Mr.    M'c  Donnel  with  whom  I  wish  you  to 
have  so  me  conversation.   Be  not    discoura- 
ged, I  really  believe  God  will  visit  poor  Water 
ford  in  love  ;  do  you  go  on.  Bear  up  the  hands 
that  hangdown,  by  faith  and  paayer  support  the 
tottering  knee  :  reprove,  encourage ;  have  you 
appointed  any  days  of  fasting  and  prayer,  Storm 
the  throne  of  grace,  and  persevere  therein 
and  mercy  will  c^me  down,  I  am  yours  &c . 
JOHN  WES!,KY. 


(     103     ) 
LETTER   L. 
Mrs.  Eiiza  Bennis...to  the  Rev.  John   Wesley. 
Limerick^  April  12,  1774. 

DEAK  SIR, 

I  think  I  do  not  at  all  mistake  your  doc- 
trine, and  so  far  as  I  am  able  to  comprehend 
it,  do  find  my  whole  soul  acquiesce  in  every 
point.  Nor  would  I,  if  I  could  be  saved  in 
any  other  "way ;  you  have  seen  enough  to  be 
able  to  discover  all  my  mistakes/  but  you 
have  not  reproved  my  errors  ;  and  surely  I 
should  take  this  as  the  greatest  instance  of  your 
love ;  I  do  not  meet  with  many  w^ho  are  faithful 
in  this  respect;  and  as  you  have  seen  the 
workings  of  my  heart  for  many  years,  (nor 
indeed  is  there  a  thought  in  it,  I  would  wish 
to  conceal  from  you)  my  errors  both  in  prin- 
ciple and  practice  must  be  more  conspicuous 
to  you  than  to  any  other. 

I  believe  Mr.  Perfect  is  a  good  man,  and 
in  whose  conversation,  I  should  liaye  much 
satisfaction,  I  think  the  people  are  happy  in 
him,'  'and  his  fellow  labourer,  and  their  la- 
bours have  been  particnlarly  blessed  in  the 
county  Wexford.  But  as  I  may  be  free  to 
\^rlte  you  in}-  thoughts  without  your  taking 
.'i:  amiss.     In  time  r^ar,!,    w -icii  all  contended 


C     i04    ; 

for  salvation  by  faith,  I  often  thought.-  that 
through  zeal  for  this,  the  necessity  of  good 
works   was  not   enough  enforced  up  n  the 
people,  but  since  Mr.  Fletchers  writings  on 
this  subject  have    appeared ;   I  think,   with 
some,   the   error   seems  to  be   now  on  the 
other  side.     Nor  do  I  wonder  ihat  the  incau- 
tious,  full  of  zeal  against  any  thing,   should 
take  a  step  too  far,  but  then  we  must  also  expect 
that  such  a  step  will  not  pass  unnoticed.  'Nor  is 
every  person  able  to  make  allowance  for  such 
a  mistake  ;  especially  when  it  is  often  repeat- 
ed. But  as  to  that  particular  point,   I  would 
willingly  have  your  judgment   on  it  for  itiy 
p:^va  satisfaction,  whether  we  are  to  e:xpcct 
final  justification  or  acquittance  at  the  day  of 
judgment  meerly  for  our  works,  and  whether 
the  merit  and  righteousness  of  Christ  shall 
then  avail  us  any  thing. 

I  received  your  last  letter  in  Waterford, 
Mr.  Perfect  being  then  on  the  circuit  I  did 
not  see  him  to  deliver  yours  but  left  it  for  him, 
and  have  received  one  from  him  since  I  came 
home;  since  I  wrote lastto you,  my  soul  has 
been  in  general  more  happy,  the  Lord  has 
been  pleased  to  keep  ihe  enemy  at  a  greater 
distance,  and  to  allow  me  a  clearer  and  more 


(     105     ) 

constant  sense  of  his  work  on  my  heart ;  so 
that  whilst  I  remained  at  Waterford,  I  found 
my  soul  more  established  in  his  grace,  I 
have  reason  to  thank  the  Lord  that  he  did  thus 
6trenghten  mej  for  I  found  when  I  came 
home,  I  had  need  of  it.  I  have  since  then 
been  much  weighed  down,  discouraged,  and 
distressed.  I  found  the  preacher  and  people 
by  the  ears,  divided  into  parties,  and  some 
turned  out  of  the  way,  for  the  most  trifling 
matter  that  can  be  conceived.  It  is  very 
unusual  with  me,  to  trouble  you  with  such 
disputes,  but  as  there  has  a  letter  gone  to  jrou 
already  concerning  it,  I  thought  in  common 
justice  you  ought  to  be  acquainted  with  the 
whole  '^•^^'^^•^■^'^^if'^*"^'^'^^^^'^'^!^'^"''^'^^^^"^^'^^^^ 

l^<J»vl><l».\l<'t>«M««Xt\i<U>xl«>l.»lj»Li»i<«l>^!yv'<sl«Nl/U>^^>I<\l<vU\^M/<i>\l>>l»\t>>U 

TT^"^  ff>  ^^  !f!  .^  ^  ^  J^  ^  Jf'  ^  ffi  Jf>  )fl  J^  ^  If,  ^  ^  ^  JS  ^  ^:^k^/^V'T>'i\'^/r 

matters  here  wear  a  gloomy  aspect,  both  as  to 
spirituals  and  temporals,  and  in  the  present 
situation  much  depends  on  the  person  who 
may  succeed  Mr.  W....had  your  plan  been 
followed,  there  would  be  none  of  all  this, 
not  do  I  ever  see  good  proceed  from  the  op- 
posing your  commands,  may  the  Lord  res- 
tore peace  and  unity  among  us ;  and  may  he 


(     106     ) 

long  preserve  you  over  his    church    is  the 

ardent  prayer  of  Dear  Sir,  yours  he, 

ELIZA  BENNIS. 


Lfci'  lEK   LI. 
Rev.  Joha  V/e8ky,..to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis. 
Leeds,  May  2,   1774. 
MY  Dear  Sister, 

UNTIL   Mr.  Hill  and  his  Associates 

puzzled  the  cause,  it  was  as  plain,  as  plain 
could  be ;  the  Methodists  always  held, 
and  have  declared  a  thousand  times  ;  the  death 
of  Christ  is  the  meritorious  cause  of  our  Sal- 
vation, (that  is  pardon,  holiness,  glory)  lov- 
ing obedient  faith  is  the  condition  of  Glory. 
This  Mr  Fletcher  has  so  illustrated  and  con- 
firmed, as  I  think  scarce  any  one  has  done  be- 
ibre  or  since  the  Apostles. 

When  Mr.  W.  wrote  me  a  vehement  letter 
concerning  the  abuse  he  had  received  from 
the  young  men  in  Limerick,  and  his  determi- 
nation to  put  them  all  out  of  the  society,  if 
they  did  not  acknowjegc  their  fault.  I  much 
wondered  what  could  be  the  matter,  and  only 
wrote  him  word  **  I  never  put  any  out  of  our 
society  for  any  thing  they  say  of  me*\,.. 
You  are  come  in  good  time  to  make  peace. 
feo  on,  and  prosper.     Your  ever  AfTectionate 

JOHN  WESLEY, 


C      ^^7      \ 

LETTER  Lil. 

Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis....to  the  Rev.  John  Wesley 

L'nnerick^  Jiilij  21,  1774. 

r/EAPw   SIR, 

SINCE  I  v.Tote  you  last,  I  have  been 
exercised  with  sickness  in  my  faaiily ;  and  at 
tlie  same  time  my  oldest  son  (apprentice  in 
Waterford)  had  a  fever  and  by  all  accounts 
was  in  great  danger;  I  found  this  to  be  a  hea- 
vy trial,  but  the  Lord  was  with  me  in  it,  and 
did  enable  me  in  the  most  grievous  part  of  it 
to  say  with  my  whole  heart  *'Thy  will  be 
done"... this' trial,  and  the  Lords  dealing  in  itj 
has  proved  a  great  blessing  to  my  soul,  as  in- 
deed every  trial  does.  I  do  find  in  general 
that  afflictive  dispensations  are  of  all  others 
the  most  profitable  to  me.  Such  is  the  stub- 
bornness of  my  heart,  that  it  has  need  of  being 
softened  with  stripes  ;  yet  surely  the  Lord  does 
deal  very  graciously,  by  affording  me  only 
such  a  measure  of  these  as  he  sees  absolutely 
necessary  ;  and  by  the  many  deliverances  he 
works  out  for  me,  gives  me  to  see  his  tender^ 
ness  and  love  towards  me  ;  so  that  I  may  tru- 
ly say  my  whole  life  is  one  continued  scene  of 
mercies.     And  in  some  deg^^ee  the  Lord  does 


(     108     ) 

make  me  sensibla  of,  and  thankful  for  his 
goodness.... For  some  time  past,  my  soul  has 
been  kept  more  than  ordinarily  happy  in  God  ; 
frequent  opportunities  of  Christian  conver- 
sation always  has  this  effect,  and  Mr.  Snowden 
has  afforded  me  many  happy  seasons  of  this 
kind,  which  have  been  much  blessed  to  both, 
he  still  retains  his  happines  and  confidence, 
and  I  trust  Will  continue  to  do  so  ;  I,  with  ma- 
ny others  have  reason  to  thank  the  I^ord  for 
sending  him  to  Limerick. 

He  came  at  a  very  critical  time,  and  his  en- 
tire deportment  since,  has  been  such  as  to 
gain  the  love  and  esteem  of  all  the  people. 
Peace  and  harmony  subsists?now  amongst  us, 
ajid  the  generality  seem  to  have  but  one  end 
in  view.  Yet  we  want  a  greater  revival,  the 
Select  Band  set  apart  some  days  to  wres- 
tle with  God  for  this,... which  has  not  been  al- 
together in  vain  ;  but  we  wait  for  a  fuller  an- 
swer :  by  a  letter  from  Mr.  M'donnel,  the 
work  of  Gcd  is  prospering  in  the  county  Wex- 
ford...but  in  Waterford  they  are  still  lifeless, 
we  have  proposed  to  them,  and  all  the  coun- 
try societies  on  this  and  that  round,  to  set 
apart    the   first    of  next  month  as   a  day  of 


C     109     ) 

fasting  and  prayer,  solely  on  their  behalf.... 
perhaps  the  Lord  would  be  intreatcd,  and 
cause  the  dry  bones  to  live.  I  am  Dear  Sir,  &,c. 

ELIZA  BENNIS. 


LETTER  LIIL 

Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis,  to  the  Rev.  John  Wesley. 

Limerick,  December  24,  17'74. 
Dear  Sir, 

I  HAVE  delayed  to  acknowledge  the 
receipt  of  your  last,  'till  I  could  inform  you  of 
my  son's  arrival  at  Kingswood  school,  in  this  I 
have  given  him  up  to  the  Lord,  without  mak- 
ing any  choice,  desiring  that  he  may  dispose 
of  him  as  seemeth  him  best ;  and  in  this  sur- 
render I  find  my  mind  entirely  eased  of  every 
burden  concerning  this  child  ;  Indeed  not 
only  in  this,  but  in  every  aflPair  of  life  I  see  the 
Lord  is  willing  to  bear  my  burden,  when  I 
simply  and  confidently  cast  it  upon  him.  Nor 
do  I  find  any  other  way  of  deliverance,  and 
had  not  the  Lord  in  many  cases  pointed  me 
to  himself,  and  enabled  me  to  cast  all  my  care 
upon  him  I  should  have  sunk  under  the  weight; 
but  glory  be  to  him,  though  outward  things 
are  still  the  same,  yet  they  have  not  the  same 
K 


(      110     ) 

effect  on  me,  they  do  not  distress  me  in  the 
manner  they  used  to  do ;  my  heart  and  trea- 
sure is  laid  up  above,  and  as  to  temporal  af- 
fairs, I  desire  to  leave  them  entirely  to  the  dis- 
posal of  my  heavenly  father  ;  'svho  knows  best 
how  to  distribute  them,  being  fully  confident 
of  his  care  and  protection  over  me  and  mine  ; 
and  knowing  assuredly  that  his  will  is  best 
however  humbling  it  may  appear.  This  is 
the  present  state  of  my  mind,  and  has  been  so 
for  some  time,  and  surely  I  may  say  "this  hath 
the  Lord  done",  for  no  power  but  his,  could 
ever  have  subdued  the  world  in  my  heart. 

But  a  doubt  arises  whether  I  shall  always 
enjoy  the  same  deliverance  ;  I  trust  1  shall, 
and  am  enabled  to  depend  upon  my  God  for 
this  also. 

The  work  of  God  goes  on  blessedly  here 
under  Mr.  Snowden  and  Mr.  M'donnel,  we 
have  indeed  happy  meetings  both  in  public 
and  in  private ;  the  Lord  is  also  at  work  in 
Waterford,  and  in  most  of  our  country  socie- 
ties; but  as  you  have  got  an  account  of  these 
1  liceo  not  recapitulate. 

We  rejoice  at  the  expectation  of  seeing  you 
here  once  more,  may  the  Lord  prosper  your 


(  111  ) 

way,  and  send  his  blessing  with  you  ;..*and 
grant  you  many  happy  returns  of  this  solemn 
season... prays  your  truly  Affectionate 

ELIZA  BENNIS. 


LETTER  LIV. 

Rev.   John  Wesley. ...to  Mrs.  Eliza    Bennis. 

London^  December  21,  17f6, 
YOU  are  a  great  deal    less   happy  thark 

you  would  be,  if  you  did  not  reason  too  much. 
This  frequently  gives  that  subtle  adversary, 
an  advantage  against  you.  You  have  need  to 
be  continually  as  a  little  child,  simply  looking 
up  for  whatever  you  v/ant. 

It  is  devoutly  to  be  wished  for,  that  we 
may  rejoice  evermore:  aud  it  is  certain,  the 
inward  kingdom  of  God,  implies  not  only 
Righteousness,  and  peace,  but  joy  in  the  Holy 
Ghost.  You  have  therefore  reason  to  ask  for, 
and  expect  the  whole  gospel  blessing.  Yet 
it  cannot  be  denied,  that  many  times  joy  is 
withheld,  even  from  them  that  walk  upright- 
ly. The  great  point  of  all  is,  an  heart  and 
a  life  entirely  devoted  to  God.  Keep  only 
this,  and  let  all  the  rest  go :  give  him  your 
heart  and  it  sufficeth.  I  am  my  Dear  Sister 
Your  ever  Affectionate  Brother, 

JOHN  WESLEY, 


(     112     ) 

LETTER   LV. 

Mr.  Thomas  Walsh. ..to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennls. 

Dublin^  December  13,  1755  . 

MY  DEAR  SISTER. 

FROM  your  letter,  I  do  believe  God 
has  revealed  his  son  in  yciir  heart,  and  that 
you  have  tasted  of  his  good  word:  yet  still 
you  feel  a  want  of  many  things ;  there  is  an 
enij;tlnes?i  in  your  soul.  The  perfect  love  of 
God  is  Mhiit  you  v^ont  to  make  you  mdy  holy 
and  cowpkiely  happy.  Hereunto  are  we  call- 
ed, to  inherit  the  blessing  of  perfect  love  ;  to 
be  made  pure  in  heart,  to  have  the  glorious 
image  of  God  stamped  on  our  immortal  spirits. 

I  dare  not  say,  that  I  have  already  attained 
this,  yet  T  firmly  believe  there  is  a  possibility 
of  living  to  God  every  moment;  and  of  doing 
his  \v\\\  on  earth  as  it  is  done  in  Heaven. 

Keep  up  a  divine  acquaintance  with  Jesus 
Christ.  Be  often  on  your  knees  before  him  ; 
tell  him  what  you  fear  and  feel.  I  praise  his 
name  I  feel  his  love  to  my  soul,   while   I  am 

writing  of  it I  am  my  Dear    sister,  your 

Affectionate  Brother 

THOMAS  WALSH. 


(     li-    ) 

LETTER  LYL 
jMrs.  Eliza  Bennis,....to  Mr.  Thomas  Walsh. 

Limerick^  January  20,  1757. 
SINCE  I  had  last  the  pleasure  of  seeing 
my  Dear  Brother  Walsh,  I  have  been 
exercised  with  many  and  heavy  trials;  and 
have  sometimes  found  it  hard  to  stand  and 
bear  the  stroke,  and  yet  to  look  up  and  say 
^'  Thy  will  be  done".... But  hitherto  the  Lord 
hath  brought  me ;  however  weak,  yet  hang- 
ing upon  him,  believing  in  him,  and  desiring 
to  do  his  will ;  my  heart  is  often  enlarged,  and 
my  desires  great  after  perfect  holiness;  yet 
finding  how  iniiQitely  short  I  come,  and  how 
often  my  purposes  are  broken,  I  am  brought 
to  doubt  whe  Jier  it  be  lav/ful  for  me  to  ask  it 
or  not ;  in  your  next  letter  I  beg  you  will  say 
a  great  deal  on  this  head,  both  as  information 
and  instruction....!  do  desire  that  the  whole 
will  of  God  may  be  done  in  me,  and  I  believe 
it  is  his  will  that  I  should  be  clean ;  but  the 
promise  seems  to  me,  afar  off;  my  heart  is 
evil,  very  evil;  my  will  perverse,  my  affections 
cold  and  dead,  and  my  faith  so  weak  that  I  often 
doubt  whether  I  have  any  or  not.. I  believe  that 
there  is  not  a  soul  that  hangs  upon  Christ,  more 
K    2 


(     114     ) 

weak  and  helpless,  and  more  unclean  than  I 
am.... Now  in  this  state  may  I  expect  or  look 
for  an  entire  instantaneous  change  of  heart 
without  first  experiencing  a  growth  in  grace, 
which  I  cannot  say  I  do?. ..I  shall  anxiously 
expect  your  Answer.. .and  am  Your  Affec- 
tionate Sister 

ELIZA   BENNIS. 


LETTER  LVn. 

Mr.  Thomas  Walsh. ..to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis. 
London^  February  5,  1757 

MY      DEAR    SISTER, 

BLESSED  be  the  author  of  every  good 
and  perfect  gift,  that  he  has  inspired  your  soul 
with  fervent  desire  to  be  made  holy  and  with- 
out  blame  before  him  in  love  ;  may  the  Holy 
Ghost  through  the  blood  of  the  everlasting 
covenant,  make  you  perfect  and  entire  lack- 
ing nothing.  You  ask  weighty  questions  in 
your  letter,  as  far  as  I  have  learned  by  scrip- 
ture Conifer satton  and  Experience  the  general 
method  is  this. 

Fir  St...  The  soul  by  the  spirit  of  God ^  apply- 
ing the  commandment,  is  deeply  convinced 
of  its  darkness,  guilt,  misery  and  helplessness, 
then  a  man  is  poor  in  spirit,   and  has   noth- 


(   115  ) 

ing  to  pay,  but  being  weary  and  heavy  laden, 
seeks  and  groans  to  be  delivered. 

Secondly.... The  same  spirit  works  faith  in 
the  broken  heart ;  giving  divine  light,  where- 
by the  soul  sees  God,  gracious  in  Christ; 
and  divine  power  whereby  the  soul  can  trust 
God ;  then  is  given  the  spirit  of  Adoption, 
and  the  heaven  born  soul  rejoices  in  God 
through  Christ ;  loves  and  delights  in  the 
Lord  Jesus,  has  free  access  to  the  throne  of 
grace ;  the  man  thus  translated  out  of  darkness 
into  marvelous  light,  thinks,  all  is  right  witb- 
in  him  and  that  he  shall  learn  war  no  more. 
But  in  some  weeks  or  months,  by  some  exter- 
nal object,  of  temptation,  or  by  the  direct  light 
and  power  of  the  blessed  spirit,  the  roots  of 
bitterness  in  the  heart  are  made  manifest ;  an- 
ger, pride,  foolish  and  hurtful  desires,  unbe- 
lief, and  spiritual  indolence  rise  in  the  aifec- 
tions  ;  a  man  is  amazed  and  ready  to  conclude 
he  has  deceived  himself;  and  satan  takes  all 
the  advantage  he  can  to  bring  him  into  doubt 
and  condemnation.... Yet  if  the  man  cries  to 
God,  he  soon  answers  and  bears  witness,  that 
nevertheless  all  this  vikness^  he  has  redemption 
Jn  the  blood  of  Jesus... then. 


(    li^    J 
Thirdly.     Arises  a  cry  in  the  soul  for  the 
perfect  image  of  God,  and  the  mind  of  Christ; 
and  there  follows  grea.t  tenderness  of  consci- 
ence, deeper  hatred  to  sin,  and  a  vehement 
love  to  holiness  ;  likewise  the  soul  examines 
and  proves  itself,  to  see  if  it  loves,  or  desires, 
or  does  any  thing  that  the  Lord  hates  or  for* 
bids  ;  or  whether  it  neglects  any  known  duty 
it  may  and  ought  to  perform  ;    then  begins 
more  resolutely  and  constantly  than  ever,  the 
true   self   de?iial,    and  taking  up  the   cross. 
Right  hands  are  cut  off;  right  eyes  are  pluck- 
ed out ;  all   forsaken  in  heart    and  affection. 
In  this  state  there  is  a  growth  in  grace,  and 
the  destruction  of  the  old    man ;  oftentimes 
joy,  hope  and  liberty  in  prayer,   yet  quickly 
follow  fearS;    sorrows,    temptation  and  impa- 
tience.    After  these  strong  desires,   and  stre- 
imous  endeavours.     At  length  the  soul  com- 
prehends the  nature  of  the  thing  more  per- 
fectly, and  believes  the  promise  of  God,  that 
he  will  do  it.     Now  the  tempter  rages  more 
than  ever  ?  but  he  has  not  his  former  power, 
to  enter  or  grieve  the  soul  by  his  fiery  darts. 
The  mind  labours  with  greater  freedom;  finds 
a  sensible  increase  of  faith,  hope,  and  love, 


(     117     ) 

with  all  the  fruits  that  naturally  grow  on  thenfi. 
Yet  sin  is  in  the  heart;  unbelief,  pride  or 
some  evil  affection  may  yet  stir.  But  the 
man  being  set  upon  the  work,  never  gives 
over,  until  the  spirit  of  burning  totally  extir- 
pates sin;  until  the  blood  of  the  lamb  has 
cleansed  from  all  sin.  This  final  stroke 
is  as  instantaneous  as  justification ;  and  then 
the  soul  is  made  Innocent^  has  no  evil  temper^ 
is  strictly  united  to  God  in  Christ,  and  finds 
all  its  affections  centre  in  God.  The  spirit  of 
God,  shortly  reveals  to  the  mindwhat  is  wrought 
in  it,  upon  which  it  triumphs  and  is  filled 
with  gratitude  to  God,  good  will  to  mankind 
and  a  perfect  desire  to  do  and  suffer  all  the  good 
acceptable  and  perfect  will  of  God.     Again. 

Fourthly.... after  all  this  is  accomplished, 
the  soul  sees  and  fetis  in  an  niexpressible 
manner,  how  little  it  knows,  loves  or  enjoys 
of  God;  and  although  no  fear,  (that  hath  tor- 
ment) no  darkness  does  now  arise;  there  is 
great  humiliation  before  God.  The  soul  dilates 
and  expands  itself,  and  daily  receives  more 
light,  love,  power,  meekness,  rest,  life  and 
liberty ;  this  is  growing  in  grace,  and  in  the 
knowledge  of  our  Lord  and  saviour  Jesus 
Christ. 


(  lis  ; 

Finally,  when  the  corn  is  fully  ripe,  the 
sickle  is  thrust  in,  and  the  spirit,  returns  to 
God  who  gave  it. 

You  will  observe,  that  I  say,  this  is  the 
^d';2d'r^/ method  of  Gods  working  on  the  souls 
he  brings  to  glory.  But  particular  incidents 
may  happen  to  different  persons ;  and  there 
are  many  things  in  the  work  of  God  (even  in 
our  own  souls)  that  we  cannot  account  for, 
much  less,  speak  clearly  concerning.  Souls 
may  be  differently  awakened,  as  to  the  means 
and  measure,  so  also  they  may  have  clear  or 
faint  manifestations  as  to  the  time  of  justifica- 
tion. Again,  some  may  abide  months  or 
years  in  a  state  of  peace  and  rejoicing,  others 
only  days  or  hours.  Moreover,  some  may  be 
more  deeply  awakened  after  justification  than 
others,  their  sense  of  sin  may  be  more  deep  and 
piercing;  and  this  likewise  may  continue 
longer  or  shorter  according  to  various  circum- 
stances :  Solomon  '*  could  not  tell  the  ivay 
of  the  spirit^\  Christ  inculcates  the  same 
truth..,.  John  3-8.  Our  duty  and  interest 
then  is;  to  search  our  heart,  and  commune 
with  our  spirits  ;  and  see  if  we  are  willing  to 
give  up  all  and  be  sived  in  Gods  own  way.  Let 


(  11»  } 

us  never  rest  until  every  evil  temper  is  des- 
troyed, and  our  souls  truly  united  to  Jesus 
Christ.  Let  us  seek  to  know  for  ourselves, 
that  the  Lord  has  created  a  clean  heart  in  us, 
and  also  renewed  a  right  spirit  within  us  ;  and 
then  will  follow,  that  divine  affiance,  that  God 
will  keep  us  from  every  evil  work,  and  pre- 
serve us  blameless  to  and  for  his  heavenly 
kingdom. 

My  love  to  the  church  of  Christ  at  Lime- 
rick, the  Lord  Jesus  knows  I  love  you  all, 
and  earnestly  pray  that  ye  may  be  filled,  yea  and 
abound  with  every  good  gift;  that  ye  may  be  a 
church  without  spot  or  wrinkle,  or  any  such 
thing  ;  at  present  my  body  is  weak.  But  my 
mind  is  stayed  on  God  ;  and  I  think,  I  feel 
renewed  strength  of  both  body  and  mind  when 
I  am  presenting  )x  at  the  throne  of  grace, 
which  is  my  daily  duty,  and  delight,  farewell 
My  Dear  Sister,  I  am  Your  Affectionate 
Brother,  THOMAS  VVALSH„ 


LETTER  LVin. 

Mr.  Thomas  Walsh.. ..to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennls. 
London^  November  5,  1757 

MY    DEAR    SISTER,  BENNIS 

YOU  Must  fight  on  still,  Jesus  will  help 
>ou,  and  faith  will  make  all  things  possible. 


(      120      ) 

We  do  not  want  the  light  of  truth,  so  m 
as  the  fire  of  love,  practice  will  make  a  man 
truly  wise.  John  7-1 7.  If  we  want  to  know 
our  duty,  let  us  do  what  we  know,  Christ's 
word  must  remain  forever  true,  and  no  other 
will  do  as  well.  Now,  saith  he  **  If  any  man 
**  will  come  after  me,  let  him  deny  himself, 
and  take  up  his  cross  daily*'.  This  is  the  way 
to  become  and  remain  a  disciple  of  Christ's. 
To  deny  our  senses  is  an  arduous  work,  but  to 
deny  our  affections  is  more  difficult  still. 
From  the  moment  we  intend  to  h^  perfect^  we 
ought  to  examine  ourselves  in  all  things  that 
impede  the  spiritual  life.  O  self-will  and 
pride,  what  a  devil  in  human  nature  ihese ! 
O  beware  of  the^r^r  motions, 

I  find  less  and  less  inclination  to  dictate  to 
others.  Jesus  Christ  is  the  great  teacher  in 
his  church,  O  let  us  all  learn  of  him.  My 
body  is  growing  much  weaker  daily,  but  my 
soul  is  hap' y^  happy ^  happy  in  my  God. 

May  the  Holy  Ghost  teach  and  assist 
you  to  pray  for  me,  and  all  the  church  of 
God ;  and  may  his  fellowship  be  with  you 
forever  more  Amen. 

THOMAS  WALSH. 


(      121      ) 

LETTER  LIX. 
Mr.Thoinas  Olivers.. .to  Mrs. Eliza  Beiinis. 

Clonmell^  April  25,  175/. 
My  VERY  Dear  Sister. 

DO  you  continue  as  earnest  with  God  for 

your  immortal  souPs  eternal  happiness,  as  you 
were  when  I  last  saw  you  ?  O  never  rest 
without  that  **  perfect  love  which  casteth  out 
fear'',  which  are  your  desires  after  this,  get- 
ing  stronger  or  weaker,  examine  your- 
self; one  or  other  must  be  the  case  ;  for  there 
is  no  standing  still  in  the  ways  of  God.  O 
that  you  may  so  run  as  to  obtain  the  prize 
that  is  set  before  you  ;  which  is  no  less  than 
glory  ;make  sure  of  the  mark  which  is  perfect 
holiness,  and  then  the  prize  is  certain.  Pray 
much  for  an  earnestness  of  spirit,  and  for  a 
constant  sight  of  your  wants.  Seek  the  image 
of  God,  as  you  did  the  favour  of  God,  and  it 
will  come  as  surely,  and  perhaps  as  instantane- 
ously. *'  It  shall  be  unto  you,  according  to 
your  faith''.  Pray  then,  constantly  pray,  for 
power  to  believe.  Remeniber,  there  are  giv- 
en to  all  who  believe,  many  exceeding  great 
and  precious  promises;  that  you  may  thereby 

be  made  partaker  of  the  Divine  Nature,    see 

L 


C      122     ) 

2d.  Peter  1,4.  In  this  sense,  I  may  say,  the 
promise  is  to  you,  and  to  your  children, and  to 
all  who  believe.  Come,Comemy  Dear  sister  ! 
these  bunches  of  spiritual  grapes  which  you 
often  taste,  plainly  shew  that  the  land  of  prom- 
ise whereunto  you  are  going  is  a  good  land  ; 

*'  O  that  you  might  at  once  go  up, 
**  No  more  on  this  side  Jordan  stop, 
**  But  now  the  land  possess. 

"  This  moment  end  your  legal  3'ears, 
'•  Sorrow  and  sin,  and  doubts  and  fears, 
•'  A  howling  wilderness". 

be  patient,  be  diligent,  the  tops  of  the  towers 
will  soon  appear,  O  look  to  your  Joshua^  and 
follow  him,  and  he  will  surely  bring  you  in. 
Fear  not  the  tall  sons  of  Anack  ;  gigantic  foes, 
such  as  Pride,  Unbelief,  Anger,  Self-will  &c. 
these  are  nothing  to  ihe  omnipotent  Jehovah 
with  whom  you  have  to  do  as  your  captain. 
Then  fight  and  conquer  through  the  strength 
of  the  lamb,  and  victory  is  certain.  Then 
comes  the  great  prize !  the  treble  crown!  Glo- 
ry !   Glory  !   Glory  I 

O  my  Dear  sister,  does  not  this  transport  you- 
Yours  Affectionately 

THOMAS  OLIVERS 


(      123     ) 

LETETR  LX. 

Mr.  V/miam  Penington....to  Mrs  Eliza  Bennls. 

Cork,  yw72ff4,  1764. 
I  HOPE  my  Dear  S  ister  Bennis  is  still 
-imply  following  on  to  know  the  Lord  j  being 
determined  to  know  nothing  but  Christ,  and 
him  crucified.     To  know  what  he  did>  suffer- 
ed, and  taught,  that  you  may  be  fully  conform- 
ed both  in  heart  and  in  life,    yea  in  all  things 
to  Christ  your  exalted  head  ;   so  shall  you  be 
qualified  to  hold  communion  with  him   here, 
and  to  be  happy  eternally  with  him   hereafter. 
I  see  no  other    way  to  live  the    life    divine  ; 
J?yt  by  simple;  yet  actiy^  feith  in  Christ  Tesus  i 
to  go  to  him  by  faith  every  moment,  for  every 
thing  you  want,  whatsoever  it  is  ;  is  the  only 
way  to  retain  or  increase  life,   and   so  far  as 
this  is  neglected,    so  far  a  soul  will  assuredly 
suffer  loss.     Let  not  the  Devil  by  any  means 
prevent  your  thus  living  from  God,  to  God, 
and  for  God,   according  to  that  precept,  Re- 
mans 12  chapter  1  and  2  verses.  ...Do  you  find 
it  thus  at  all  times  ?  Is  your  heart  wholy  takeiu 
up  with,  and  possessed  by  God  ?  Can  you  no'-^c 
rejoice  ever  more,     Pray    without  ceasing, 
and  in  cverv  thinfr  oivc  thanks  ■  If  j^ot,    what 


(     124     ) 

hinders  ?  O  lay  aside  every  weight,  and  the  sin  i 
which  doth  most  easily  beset  you,  and  look 
steadfastly  and  constantly  to  Jesus  the  Author, 
and  he  w  ill  be  the  support  and  the  finisher  o 
}'our  faith,  and  make  you  now,  and  ever  more- 
happy,  which  is  the  sincere  and  fervent  prayer 
v-'-rjuv  Affectionate  Brother 

WILLIAM  PENINGTON 


LETTER  LXI. 

Mrs.  Eliza  Dt;nni3...to  Mr.  William  Penington 
Limerkk,  June  10,  1764. 
I  AM  truly  thankful  to  my  Dear  Brother 
Penincton,  for  your  close  and  affectionate  en- 
quiries....Blessed  be  my  God,  I  hope  I  am 
simply  following  on  to  know  the  Lord;  and 
think  I  arn  determined  to  know  nothing  but 
Christ  and  him  crucified ;  I  long  to  be  fully 
conformed  in  heart,  life,  and  all  things  to  my 
exalted  head.  I  know  that  my  Redeemer 
liveth,  and  find  him  mdeed  precious  to  my 
soul.  My  way  is  often  strewed  with  thorns, 
but  blessed  be  my  God,  I  am  enabled.to  look 
to  the  Qn(\^  and  see  my  treasure  laid  up  above. 
Since  I  have  lost  you  and  brother  Dillon,  I 
have  learned  to  live  wholly   upon  God,  and 


(^      125      } 

:!o  find  him  a  supply  for  all  my  wants.  You 
ask,  can  I  rejoice  evermore,  pray  without 
ceasing,  and  in  every  thing  give  thanks  i  In- 
deed hitherto  I  ha"v'e  been  enabled  in  every 
thing  to  give  thanks;  but  am  not  able  to  pray 
without  ceasing ;  I  often  find  a  heaviness  of 
spirit,  a  listless,  stupid,  inactive  state,  which 
also  damps  my  joy  in  the  Lord,  and  brings 
on  sorrow  and  distress  of  soul ;  my  comforts 
ebb  and  flow  as  the  tide,  and  my  py  increases 
and  diminishes  accordingly.  1  find  much 
cause  of  thankfulness,  and  wz/^/6  fjiiicb  to  be 
ashamed  of,  but  blessed  be  my  God,  hitherto 
he  hath  helpedme  ;  and  I  find  a  degree  of  con- 
fidence in  him,  that  he  will  keep  me  to  the 
eyid.  I  think  the  sum  of  my  desires  is,  to  be 
more  closely  united  to  him,  and  in  compari- 
son with  this,  all  other  things  are  as  nothing, 
and  vanish  from  my  view  in  a  moment....! 
'am  weary  of  my  wanderings,  thoughtlesncss, 
and  stupidity,  and  would  die  to  be  delivered 
from  them.  O  when  shall  the  time  come, 
when  I  shall  love  and  enjoy  my  God  without 
intermission  or  alloy  !...My  Dear  Brotlier^ 
prav  for  me,  and  may  the  Lord  establish  vour 
L   2 


(     126     ) 

heart  with  grace,  and  make  you  useful  to  his 
people... Your  Affectionate  Sister 

ELIZA  BENNIS. 


LETTER  LXII. 

Mr.  Thomas  Taylor... to  Mrs.  EUza  Bennis. 

Dublin  July  28,  1765. 
MAY  grace  mercy  and  peace  be  mul- 
tiplied unto  my  dear  Sister  Bennis  from  God 
the  father,  and  from  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ. 
I  trust  you  are  in  a  better  state  of  bodily 
health,  than  when  I  left  you.... Indeed  **  all 
things  ijoork  together  for  Good  to  them  that 
lo^e  G<?^  "...Therefore  as  nothing  comes  by 
chance,  be  assured  of  this ;  that  '*  these  light 
afflictions  luhich  are  but  for  a  moment^  shall 
wor/i  out  for  you  an  exceeding  and  eternal 
zveight  Oj  g lory  \,. Glory  my  dear  sister,  glory! 
floes  not  the  very  sound  of  that  word  transport 
you  ?  how  much  more  the  realizing  prospect. 
Then  let  this  encourage  you,  to  bear  these 
fiery  trials,  which  are  not  sent  to  consume, 
but  to  purify  the  soul.i  .God  does  not  send 
them  as  judgments  on  his  children  j '  no,  they 
are  only  like  the  rod  of  an  indulgent  father, 
•v\'hich  necessity  constrains  him  to  take...  And 


# 


(     127     ) 

when  we  set  our  joyful  feet,  once  on  Canaans 
happy  shore,  we  shall  with  a  pleasing  aspect 
turn  our  eyes  and  look  back  upon  this  tem- 
pestuous sea,  and  ascribe  our  glorious  deliver- 
ance to  our  exalted  Redeemer... We  shall 
then  see  that  every  trial  has  been  sent  by  a 
kind  and  tender  hearted  father  who  pitieth  his 
own  children... So  that  we  have  reason  to 
bless  the  Lord  for  afflictions.... Undoubtedly 
sin  is  the  occasion  of  every  disorder ;  but  al- 
though it  be,  our  divine  master,  can  and  does 
bring  good  out  of  evil;  but  we  see  the  grace 
of  God  does  not  work  a  physical  change  upon 
the  body ;  on  the  contrary  that  grace,  taking 
place  in  the  heart,  and  bringing  trouble  upon 
the  mind,  is  very  often  the  occasion  of  many 
disorders ;  and  hence  many  I  believe  stifle 
their  convictions,  by  applying  to  the  physi- 
cians of  the  body,  when  the  cause  of  com- 
plaint is  supernatural ;  and  the  advice  is  fre- 
quently to  get  into  light,  trifling  company,  or 
join  in  those  amusements,  which  only  tend 
to  quench  the  spirit  of  God....  But  blessed  be 
God,  you  have  not  so  learned  Christ,  no,  you 
know  into  whose  hands  you  have  committed 


m^ 


i,     128     ) 

the  keeping  of  your  soul,  and  who  has  pro- 
mised  none  shall  pluck  you  out  of  his  hands. 
O  live  near  to  the  captain  of  your  salvation. 
that  you  may  be  enabled  to  say. 

"  My  cheerful  soul,  now  all  the  day, 
Sits  waiting  liere,  and  suigs  ; 
Looks  through  the  ruins  of  her  clay, 
And  practices  her  w/ngs. 

"  Faith  almost  changes  into  sight, 
When  from  afur  she  spies; 
Her  fair  inheritance  in  light. 
Above  created  skies. 

"  The  smiles  ofheav'n  rush  sweetly  in, 
At  all  the  gaping  flaws ; 
Visions  of  endless  bliss  are  seen, 
And  native  air  she  draws." 

Thus  may  you  sing  your  precious  moments 
away,  while  here  below,  until  you  shall  be 
called  to  Empyreal  mansions;  where  **  tbc 
**  wicked  cease  from  troubling,  aud  the  weary 
"  are  at  resf\ 

Tried  and  tempted  you  must  expect  to  be, 
while  in  this  vale  of  tears,  but  ^^ yet  a  little 
"  while'*''  and  he  that  shall  come^  will  come, and 
^*  will  not  tarry'\  O  may  he  complete  the 
work  of  faith  with  power,  enabling  }'oii  to  re- 
joice evermore,  to  pray  without  ceasing,  and 


(     129     ) 

in  every  thing  to  give  thanks  ;  for  this  is  the 
will  of  God  in  Christ  Jesus  concerning  you. 

I  am  now  ready  to  take  my  farewell  of  Ire- 
land, perhaps  for  ever !  O  my  God  grant  I 
may  be  ready  to  take  my  farewell  of  this  world 
when  it  shall  please >i?^c  to  call  me  home. 

Indeed  I  find  the  necessity  of  keeping  close 
to  the  captain  of  my  salvation,  least  after  pre- 
tending to  preach  to  others,  I  myself  should 
become  a  cast-away.  Here  the  soul  is  like  the 
thirsty  earth,  longing  for  the  drops  of  rain.  We 
have  not  long  to  be  in  this  miserable  world  ; 
O  may  we  continually   be   fighting  our  pas- 

oagc  tiuougn.  i\nu  wiiuc  omers  are  worlc- 
ing  to  get  more  and  more  into  the  world  ;  let 
us  labour  to  get  out  of  it.  There  are  many 
temptations  to  draw  us  from  God.  The 
Devil  was  obliged  to  hide  himself  in  the  ser- 
pent in  paradise,  to  execute  his  helish  designs, 
but  he  has  a  variety  of  more  pleasing  objects 
now ;  so  that  we  have  need  continually  to  be 
upon  our  guard  ;  my  love  to  the  church  of 
Christ  at  Limerick  ;  live  near  to  God,  love 
one  another;  live  in  peace,  and  '*the  God  of 
peace  be  with  you  all.  evermore''  Amen. 

THOMAS  TAYLOR. 


(      130     ) 

LETTER  LXIir. 

Mr.  Richard  Biackwell....io  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennj-. 
London^  October  23,  3  766, 
PEACE  be  unto  my  Dear  Sister  Ben- 
iiis,  and  to  the  whole  Israel  of  God  at  Limer- 
ick J  absence  of  body  does  not,  cannot,  erase 
any  of  you  from  my  mind,  while  united  by 
Divine  Love. 

I  trust  you  still  live  in  the  spirit  of  your  glo- 
rified head,  Christ  the  Lord,  growing  up  in 
him  ;  in  order  to  this,  it  is  always  needful  to 
Jiave  a  clear  witness  to  the  work  already 
wrought,both  for  stability  and  encouragement, 
else  in  time  of  trial  we  should  give  way  to  un- 
belief, and  under  the  pressure  of  infirmities, 
surrounded  by  the  powers  of  hell,  we  should 
utterly  be  discouraged.  To  Keep  this  wit- 
ness, (which  is  the  seal  or  earnest  of  our  inhe- 
ritance) how  necessary  to  take  up  our  cross 
daily ;  to  be  deaf  to  the  voice  of  nature,  and  to 
attend  constantly  to  the  teaching  of  the  Divine 
spirit.  O  let  us  go  on,  this  is  the  way  to 
glory.  Walk  close  with  God,  exercise  your 
faith  for  more  grace,  be  zealous  for  the  glory 
of  God,  Attend  to  these  things,  and  you  shall 
neither  be  barren  nor  unfruitful. 


(      131      ) 

Let  the  select  band  meet  regularly  and  con- 
stantly; you  know  such  meetings  are  pre- 
cious times,  for  Jesus  loves  the  simple  in 
heart,  and  they  that  are  so,  shall,  with  the  be- 
loved disciple,  know  the  secrets  of  the  Lord. 
O  may  Jehovah  encrease  your  faith,  and  pro- 
tect you  all  in  the  arms  of  love,  Prays  Sec. ' 
RICHARD  BLACKWELL. 


LETTER  LXIV. 
Mrs.  I:Lliza  Bennis...to  Mr.  Richard  Blackwell. 
Liinerick^  No-ceinber  27,  1766* 
I  AM  thankful  to  my  d^ar  Brother  Black- 
well  for  his  welcome  letter,  and   truly  thank- 
ful to  the  Lord  for  bringing  me  to  your  Re- 
membrance :  The  society  her?  is  in  a  prospe- 
rous situation,  the   select  banddoes  meet  re- 
gularly, and  we  generally  have\lessed  times 
together.... As  to  my  own  state, \blessed  be 
my  God,  I  am  enabled  through  aVariety  of 
incidents    to  stay    my  soul  on  hito....I  see 
myself  a  poor  helpless  needy  creatuVf,  full  of 
wants,  full  of  necessities  which  increa\e  every 
moment,  and  whilst  I  stand  bemoan  in grny  self 
they  thicken  all  around  me ;  so  that  1  a^  ob- 
i  liged  to  fly  to  my  Jesus  for  refuge,  bringing 
!  \ 

\ 


(      1-^2      ) 

all  my  wants  with  me,  and  here  alone  do  I 
find  solid  footing,  substantial  happiness ;  my 
soul  rejoices  in  his  salvation,  and  would  have 
nothing,  would  be  destitute,  imperfect,  defi- 
cient, that  his  own  free  grace  may  have  all 
the  glory. 

In  this  sense  my  necessities  and  deficien- 
cies makes  my  blessed  Savour  still  more  pre-^ 
cious  to  my  soul ;  O  what  should  I  do  without 
such  a  Saviour  !  Indeed  I  find  something  in 
this  exercise  of  soul,  which  I  cannot  find 
words  to  explam,  and  which  is  above  all  others 
unspeakably  sweet  to  me ;  but  this  is  not  al- 
ways the  case,  m^  thoughts  are  often  drawn 
aside,  and  my  attention  taken  up  with  trifles 
and  this  not  either  seldom  or  short.  I  often 
find  slackness  of  Spirit,  and  heaviness  of  soul^ 
which  causes  grief  and  sorrow  of  heart, 
and  ushers m  many  doubts  ;  and  was  it  not 
that  the  Lrrd  gives  the  testimony  of  his  spi- 
rit to  the  «vork  he  has  wrought  in  my  heart, 
I  should  be  ready  to  give  up  all,  but  hither- 
to the  Lord  my  God  hath  kept  me,  and  does 
enable  ne  to  trust  in  him  for  future  grace. 

I  ajain  request  an  interest  in  your  prayers/ 
and  ail  Your  Affectionate 

ELIZA  BENNIS.  ' 


(     133     J 

LETTER  LXV. 
Mr.  Richard  Blackwell....to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis» 
London^  February  10,  1767. 

MY    DEAR    SISTER, 

I  AM  glad  to  find  the  work  of  God  pros- 
pers in  Limerick,  and  the  select  band  con- 
tinue to  meet,  I  doubt  not  but  God  is  with 
you,  fear  not,  go  on ;  it  is  a  great  blessing  to 
have  such  opportunities ;  O  let  us  improve 
them. 

I  rejoice  in  your  felicity  in  our   Blessed 
Lord,  surely  he  takes  pleasure  in  the  prosper- 
ity of  his  children...  Does  your  faith  increase? 
by  this  you  may  judge,  is  your  obedience  en- 
larged ?    Faith  cleaves  to  Christ,  and  embra- 
ces the  promises  ;  enabling  the  soul  through 
I  every  trial  to  surmount  all  difficulties,  crying 
out  '^through  Christ  I  can  do  all  things*'^  Hold 
fast  the  precious  gift,    being  assured  the  end 
of  the  commandment  is   love,  out  of  a  pure 
heart ;  have  you  not   this  testimony   in  your 
heart?  if  so  glory  in  the  bleeding  lamb.     It 
is  an  unspeakable  blessing  to  obtain  this  wit- 
ness ;  to  retain  it  requires  close  walking  with 
God.... But  suppose  any  should   lose  it,   let 
them  humble  themselves  before  the  Lord,  and 
M 


(     134     ) 

he  will  restore  it  again.... Speak  freely  to  each 
other  of  these  things,  pertaining  to  the  king- 
dom  of  God....  Keep  your  zeal  and  simpUcity, 
and  our  Lord  will  fulfiill  in  you  all  the  good 
pleasure  of  his  will. ...Though  your  mind  be 
employed  about  many  things,  yet  if  your  heart 
cleaves  to  God,  that  is  the  point.... Go  on  to 
perfection.     Yours  Affectionately 

RICHARD  BLACKWELL. 


LETTER  LXVL 

Mr.  Richard  Bourkc... to   lyTrs.  Eliza  Bennis. 

W'.terford^  November  29,  1768. 

MY  VERY  DEAR  SISTER, 

I  TRUST  you  are  growing  up  into 
Christ  in  all  things,  as  your  living  head.  I 
have  often  admired  what  the  Apostle  says  of 
himself,  2  Corinthians  12  chapter  9  and  10 
verses  :  and  indeed  my  soul  longs  for  power 
so  to  glory.  But  is  not  his  request  for  the 
Ephesians  3  chapter  16  to  19  verses  far  more 
extraordinary,  here  is  a  most  beautiful  de- 
scription of  Christian  perfection.  My  Dear 
Friend  let  us  press  anziously  after  it,  if  it 
were  not  attainable,  it  would  not  be  set  be- 
fore us;  do  not  waver,  say  not  '*you  have  no 


(     135     ) 

povver/^  your  whole  strength  is  in  God,  and 
that  is  received  every  moment  by  simple  faith  ; 
the  good  Lord  strengthen  you  inthis  good  work* 
I  have  just  so  much  union  with   God,  as 
sets  me  longing  for  more. 

'*0  who  that  loves  can  love  enough !" 

I  am  not  without  my  trials  ;  I  look  for  them 
as  my  portion  while  in  this  tenement  of  clay  ; 
but  they  are  all  sweetened  by  the  closer  em- 
braces  of  my  gracious  redeedmer,  1  read  his 
love  as  clearly  in  them,  as  in  his  manuscrint 
of  sun,  moon,  zT.i  stars.  I  feel  that  God 
tVould  have  us  live  bere  the  life  of  heaven; 
that  therefore  we  should  as  little  as  possible  live 
the  life  of  earth.  To  live  with  him  abstract- 
ed  from  the  world,  delighting  in  all  he  causes 
us  to  feel,  and  suffer  ;  under  this  happy  influ- 
ence acting  according  to  our  calling,  and  in- 
cumbering  ourselves  with  no  more ;  is  to 
walk  with  God  ;  this  is  to  be  dead,  and  to 
have  our  lives  hid  with  Christ  in  God.  Let 
us  pray  that  we  may  inherit  this,  and  I  have 
not  the  least  doubt  but  we  shall... .To  sum 
up  all,  being  absorbed  in  God,  satisfied 
with  his  will.  Blessed  with  his  nature,  gov- 
erned by  his  spirit ,...  this  is  christian  perfec- 


C     136     J 

tion,  and  this  is  fully  attainable.  Comt 
Dear  Sister  let  us  join  hand  and  heart  i  pray- 
ftr  and  supplication ;  never  to  rest  'till  we  at* 
tain,  ^^perfections  height,  The  depth  of  hum- 
ble love.*^*.Yours  Affectionately 

RICHAKDBQURKE. 

LEiTEK  LXVIL 

Mr.  John  Dillon.,,. to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis. 

MY    DEAR   8XSTEX, 

YOU  reason  too  much  for  your  own 
happiness,  O  what  powerful  effects  proceed 
*'  — ^  ^»  Qnv  thing:  stronger 
ixom  simple s  i  Q^w\i^i<^^ ----■■  y 
than  simple  love;  can  there  be  any  thing  more 
powerful  than  simple  faith,  try  these  medi- 
cines,  prove  them,  you  will  find  them  the 
most  effieatious  for  your  disorder. 

"  Believe  and  all  your  sins  forgiven^ 
**  Only  believe  and  yours  is  heaven". 

*VBeit  (saith  our  Lord)  unto  you  even  a^i 
thou  wilt.''  O  my  dear  sister,  who  would  not 
love  the  Lord  Jesus  ?  come  join  with  me  and 
let  us  say ;  '*  O  Lord  here  are  our  hearts,  do 
thou  work  in  them  to  will  and  to  do  all  thy 
good  pleasure.'' "  We  sink  by  dying  lov( 
compelled.  And  own  thee  conqueror" 
My  dear  friend  all  is  yours  only  believe. 
Your  Affectionate, 

JOHN  DILLON. 


(      137     ) 

LETTER    LXVIII. 

Mr.  John  Dillon.. ..to  Mrs  Eliza  Bennis 
Ditb/in,  September  15,  1764. 

I  REJOICE  that  my  dear  sister's  late 
severe  aiSiction  of  body,  has  been  sanctified 
to  your  souls  benefit,  this  is  the  end  God 
has  in  view  in  afflicting,  !)lesscd  be  his  name 
that  you  have  been  made  sensible  of  it,  and 
that  }'ou  feel  you  now  walk  more  comfortable^ 
and  your  mind  more  stayed  on  that  gracious 
God  who  heared  prayer  on  j^our  behalf.... 
Consider  your  self  as  restored  from  the  dead 
and  therefore  once  more  placed  in  a  proba- 
tionary state,  and  O  let  your  future  days  be 
spent  to  the  glory  of  God  ;  your  duty  is  made 
your  benefit,  your  performance  a  delight,  and 
the  recompence  of  reward  is  placed  before 
you,  as  a  mark  for  perseverance.... O  let  us 
go  on  to  perfection,  'till  it  is  crowned  with 
glory  ;  Let  me  ask  my  dear  friend  ;  is  not 
the  comfort  you  now  enjoy,  received  by  si?n- 
ple  faith  in  and  from  a  God  of  love  ?  this  is 
the  medicine  I  so  often  recommended,  and  as 
you  have  now  proved  its  efficacy,  have  con- 
stant recourse  to  it... But  you  still  complain  of 
M2 


{     138     ) 

your  short-comings,  un watchfulness,  forget- 
fulness,  coldness  and  stupidity  ;  it  is  a  great 
mercy  you  are  sensible  of  these,  and  the  sight 
of  them  ought  to  create  thankfulness  to  him 
who  sheweth  them  to  you.... But  are  you  not 
the  cause  of  an  increase  of  these  upon  yourself. 

First.... You  see  your  short-comings!  are 
they  not  increased  by  looking  on  them  so  long, 
instead  of  looking  to  Christ,  who  is  the  propi- 
tiation. 

Second. ..Your  unw-atchful  spirit ;  is  it  not 
irxreased,  by  turning  your  eye  upon,  and 
reasoning  wath  it,  instead  of  instantly  looking 
to,  and  calling  on  the  Lord  for  wisdom  to 
discern  Satans  devices. 

Third.. .Is  not  your  forgetfulness  increased, 
by  reasoning  with,and  saying  "how  can  these  ' 
things  be  consistent"  &.c.  Do  you  not  plain- 
ly see  while  you  do  this,  you  are  in  a  greater 
degree  adding  to  that  forgetfulness,  by  forget- 
ing  to  look  to  the  Lord  Jesus  and  his  promis- 
es. 

Fourth... Your  coldness  will  never  be  re- 
moved by  looking  at  it,  but  by  looking  on 
the  Lord,  whose  bowels  of  mercy,  are  open 


C     13y     ; 

to  all  his  tempted  followers,  and  has  promised 
to  make  away  for  their  escape,     and 

Fifdi...Your  stupidity  will  be  encreased  if 
you  look  to  any  thing  but  Christ  alone  :  ihen 
it  is  the  highest  pitch  of  it  to  reason  ;  ponder 
and  look  at  these,  when  relief  can  be  found 
in  none  but  the  friend  of  sinners. 

My  dear  Sister.... It  is  not  the  expecting, 
to  have  these  done  away,  and  so  coming  to 
Christ  (is  the  way)  but  to  look  to  him  by  sim- 
ple faltby  and  the  beholding  him  as  he  is  pre- 
cious to  the  believing  soul,  dispels  all  those 
and  ten  thousand  more  at  once... .Does  not 
your  heart  bear  me  witness  in  this  ?  when  you 
behold  Christ  Jesus,  do  not  all  fly  before  his 
face,  and  your  soul  remain  in  perfect  peace 
and  love.... Then  instead  of  looking  on  these 
again,  as  in  time  past :  look  simply  to  the 
Lord  Jesus  and  you  will  draw  water  sufficient 
out  of  the  well  of  salvation  ;  only  hold  fast  the 
rope  of  the  huckeU,. (simple  faith) 

Yours  most  Affectionately 

JOHN  DILLON. 


(    HO    ) 

LETTKR    LXIX. 
Mr.  Jbhii  Dillon. ..to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis. 

Dublin^  June  1,  176J 
I  AM  thankful  to  God  that  my  dear  Sis- 
ter Bennis  finds  herself  enabled  to  call  him 
lier  t.ord  and  her  God,  then  all  the  promises 
of  God  are  yours;  yea  when  Christ  is  yours, 
<7//is  yours,  if  you  can  only  believe  j  the  more 
grace  and  light  we  receive,  the  more  VvC  see 
of  our  own  weakness  and  nothingness,  this 
iays  us  low  at  the  feet  of  Christ... yet  take  care 
that  you  do  not  look  at  your  weakness  so  as 
to  take  your  eye  off  of  Christ,  who  is  our  ad- 
vocate, who  ever  liveth  to  make  intercession 
for  us;  but  rather  let  it  fill  us  with  thankflil- 
ness,  for  that  heavenly  light  which  shews  us 
what  we  are,  and  in  whom  is  our  strength  ; 
also  take  heed  that  you  do  not  trust  to,  and 
strive  to  live  by,  comforts,  and  so  not  be  sat- 
isfied without  you  feel  that  degree  of  them 
which  you  may  measure  to  yourself;  this  of- 
ten hurts  simple  minds... Our  life  is  to  be  a 
life  ol  faith  tried  in  the  fire  ;  ^ve  are  called  to 
be  good  soldiers  ofChrist  enduring  hardships 
resisting  the  Devil,  quenching  all  his  fiery 
darts.  •  .Now  this  is  not  to  be  done  by  comfort^, 


(     141     ) 

but  by  faith   the   christians  shield;  though 
your  heart,  be  entirely  given  up  to  God,  y^t 
you  xvill  find  yourself  tried  to  the  very  quick 
and  you   may  be  kept  In  a  ferment,  for  want 
of  wisdom  to  discover  the  hellish  plots  of  Sa- 
tan who  if  he  cannot  destroy,   will  strive  to 
torment  you  ;  but  you  arc  not  called  to  Rea- 
son, but  simply  to  look  and  cast  vour  burden 
upon  the  Lord,  who  will  make  all  yourene- 
mies  as  chaff.         Your  Affectionate 

JOHN   DILLON. 
LETTER  LXX7 

Mr.  jonn  i^!.*on..Mto  Mrs.  £!*!!:»  ^e»n:s: 
Cork,  September  26,,  ir66* 
My  Dear  Sister  Bcnnis's  letters  are  al- 
ways  a  blessing  to  me,  your  experience  in  so 
many  instances  tallies  with  vay  own ;  your 
case  **in  coming  to  God  though  a  cloud  be- 
tween, yet  without  condemnation;^'  has  ofte^ 
been  my  state ;  and  there  is  no  other  way  at 
such  times,  but  to  lay  ourselves  at  the  feet  of 
our  Lord,  and  like  King  Hezekiah  spread  our 
letter  of  complaint  before  Him,  who  will  be  a 
present  help  in  all  times  of  need, and  we  have  so 
often  proved  him  such,  that  we  have  no  right 


C      1^2     ) 

to  doubt  for  the  future*...  If  poor  Sister  B.  has 
been  drawn  aside,  cast  her  not  off,  nor  use 
harsh  words,  take  St.  PauPs  advice,  Galatians 
6  chapter,  and  1  verse,  for  Gentleness  Meek-, 
ness  and  Love,  with  a  povicrful  quantity  of 
the  prayer  of  Faith,  are  the  only  efficatious 
medicine  in  this  Disorder. 

O  what  a  happiness,  to^  be   enabled  at  all 
times  to  say,  that  God  is  yours  and  you  are 
his  !  a  privilege,  few  of  the  Kings  or  princes 
of  the  Earth  do,  or  ever  did  enjoy,  and  which  you 
never  can  be  sufficiently  thankful  for... Now,  the 
Glorious  hght  from   on  high,   attended  by-j 
heavenly  wisdom,  will    discover   to  you  the^ 
snares  and  wiles  of  the  crooked  serpent,  and 
the  rough  places  (occasioned    by  unbelief), 
shall  be   made  smooth.     Let  not   my  Dear 
Friend  no'm  begin  to  reason  but  stand  fast  in 
the  liberty  wherein  God  hath  called  you  ;  In- 
firmaties  vou  will   feel,    inconsistencies   vou 
will  meet  with,  while  in  this  clay  tenement, 
but  pass  them  by  and  go  straight  to  GdcI,   he, 
can  reconcile  all  inconsistencies,  he  can  solve 
all  doubts  :  do  thou  only  Belie've,  ivatch,  Prayy 
Yours,  most  Sincerely, 

JOHN  DILLON. 


(      143      ) 

LETTEK  LXXr. 
Mr.  John  Dillon.. to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennib. 

Dublin,  May,  1770, 

I  HAVE  got  my  self  bolstered  up  in  bed 

to  write  a  last  farewell  to  my  dear  dear  Sister 

Bennis,  (if  strength  will  permit ;)   I  am  worn 
to  a  skeleton,  and  generally  in  great  pain,  but 

blessed  be  God,  he   is  my  all  in  all :  my  soul 

is  happy  in  him,  and  I  testify  with  my  latest 

breath  that  "  /  bavc  not  followed  a  cunningly 

devised fabl€\^^  but  that  there  is  reality ,nay^(7/if/ 

happiness  in  the  religion  of  Jesus.  O  my  dear 

friend  how  could  I  now  support  without  him; 

he  is  precious  !  he  is  precious!  he  is  all- together 

lovely !  my   soul  longs  to  be   set  free,   that  I 

may  enjoy    him   in  full  glory... well ;    a  few 

hours  will  complete  my  happiness* 

"  Hark  they  whisper,  Angels  say, 
*•  Sister  Spirit  come  away  !". 
•'  Lend,  lend  your  wings  I  mount  I  fly  ! 
"  O  Grave  where  is  thy  victory  ? 
•*  O  Death  where  is  thy  sting'*. 

My  Dear  Sister,  I  am  transported^  I  now 
see  the  goodly  land  in  view,  and  it  delights 
me  so,  that  I  am  ready  to  rush  into  the  nar- 
row sea  between.  My  last  love,  my  last  admo" 
nition,  to  the   society    in  Limerick ;     they 


(     144     ) 

have  been  dear  to  me,  they  have  my  last  fee- 
ble  prayers,  that  God  may  keep  them  in  the 
hollow  of  his  hand,  and  make  them  "  all  glo- 
rious 'witbiriy^*  tell  them,  I  am  now  going  to 
give  an  account  of  my  mission  to  them,  to 
him  who  sent  me ;  and  O  how  grievous  if  I 
must  appear  as  a  witness  against  any  of  them 
in  the  great   day!     Lord    Jesus  forbid  it, 

I  cannot  go  on,  my  strength  fails  :  My 
Dear,  Dear^  Dear  Sister  Bennis  fareivell^ 
may  that  Lord  and  God  which  is  now  my  all 
in  all,  by  his  grace  protect  you  ;  may  his 
power  preserve  you,  may  his  wisdom  guide 
you,  and  his  everlasting  arms  be  forever  un- 
derneath yoU;  and  hold  you  up  to  the  end, 
then  our  next  meeting  will  beat  the  right  hand 
of  Jesus.  O  that  blessed  Jesus  whom  we  have, 
so  often  conversed  about,  and  whose  love  is^ 
now  drawing  the  chief  of  Sinners  to  himself! 
I  dont  know  where  or  how  to  end,  I  could  die 
avriting  of  his  love,  but  they  drag  the  pen  from 
me,  a  last  and  again  farewell. 

JOHN  DILLON. 

N.  B.  11%  died  foiip  hours  after  concluding  this  letter 


(     145      ) 

LETTER  LXXIL 

Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis...to  Mr.  Hugh  Saunderson 
Limerick  December  4,  1771' 
IT  gives  me  sincere  pleasure  to  hear  that 
my  dear  Brother  Saunderson's  soul  prospers ; 
my  heart's  desire  for  you  is,  that  you  may 
stand  fast  as  a  good  soldier  of  Jesus  Christ; 
you  have  need  of  watchfulness  on  every  side, 
because  the  enemy  will  turn  himself  into  ma- 
ny shapes,  if  by  any  means  he  may  (by  force 
or  fraud)  turn  you  out  of  the  way,...  Your  last 
letter  gave  me  much  satisfaction  j  I  am  thank- 
ful to  God  on  your  behalf,  that  you  do  find 
him  a  present  help,  and  are  enabled  to  give 
yourself  up  to  his  will...  I  do  not  forget  you 
at  the  throne  of  grace;  it  is  matter  of  encour- 
agement that  you  are  punctual  to  the  days  and 
hours  we  appointed  for  this  purpose,  conti- 
nue  so,  and  be  assured  that  you  shall  meet  me 
there  ;  the  Lord  loves  to  see  his  children  im^ 
portunate  with  him  for  each  other. 

"  I'll  bow  my  knee  to  God  in  pray'r, 
•  ■  For  you,  and  liope  to  meet  you  tliere, 
■  On  tlie  same  errand  for  your  friend, 
'•  That  both  our  prayers  mav  one  asceiid. 


(     14S     ) 

"  While  thus  >ve  seek  the  things  abwe, 
"  And  faith iul  to  each  other  prove, 
"  In  friendship's  sacred  power  we  taste, 
"  Delights  which  shall  forever  last." 

Blessed  be  God,  my  soul  does  prosper.  I 
think  I  do  love  the  Lord  my  God,  with  all 
my  heart ;  and  am  by  his  grace  enabled  to 
chose  him  as  my  oi;rly  portion  and  inheritance, 
and  to  give  myself  unreservedly  to  his  will. 
I  constantly  meet  with  obstructions  of  various 
kinds,  but  a  merciful  God  sustains  my  fee- 
ble soul,  wonderfully  clears  my  way,  and  gra- 
ciously  condescends  to  be  my  guide  :  indeed 
it  is  by  his  all  powerful  grace  alone  that  I  am 
upheld ;  he  constantly  proportioning  his 
strength  to  my  great  need  ;  for  he  knows  I 
cannot,  nor  do  not  desire,  to  stand  one  mo- 
ment without  him.  My  soul  hangs  on  him, 
and  desires  no  other  support,  and  am  deter- 
mined by  his  grace  to  follow  him  wheresoever 
he  shall  lead  me.... I  hope  this  is  also  your 
determination;  O  give  yourself  up  without 
reserve  to  him,  he  knows  best  how  to  dispose 
of  you... You  are  often  on  my  mind,  and  I 
then  wish  for  past  opportunities,  to  speak 
plain  and  without  reserve ;  but  can  only  pray 
that  the  Lord  himself  would  be  to  you  instead 


(     147     ) 

of  a  friend ;  that  he  would  shew  you  all  that 
is  wrong,  and  keep  you  in  the  right  way. I  am 
at  times  jealous  over  you,  least  your  heart 
should  be  drawn  aside  after  the  creature,  or 
taken  up  too  much  with  yourself.... This  idol 
oV^is  the  worst  of  all  enemies  to  the  soul,  O 
guard  against  it ;  watch  not  only  every  mo- 
tion of  your  heart,  but  of  your  mind,  thoughts, 
desires,  and  even  of  your  body ;  there  is  a 
certain  gesture,  or  air  in  walking,  sitting,  or 
conversing;  or  in  coming  in  and  going  out; 
which  is  not  becoming  a  preacher  of  the  gos- 
pel, whose  "mhole  department  should  always 
be  free  from  every  thing  that  looked  like  self 
confidence,  self  esteem,  pride  or  foppery.  I 
had  some  objections  to  you  in  respect  of  these, 
when  you  were  here ;  but  having  said  so 
much  to  you  then  about  other  things  ..I  was 
afraid  were  I  to  add  these,  you  would  think 
me  too  severe ;  but  finding  since,  that  others 
took  notice  of  the  same,  I  have  been  troubled 
that  I  did  not  speak  ;  as  I  know  you  will  re- 
ceive it  from  me-  in  love... The  Lord  knows 
I  have  no  motive  but  your  welfare,  and  should 
be  thankful  to  you  to  deal  in  the  same  man- 
ner by  me  ;  do  receive  it  as  from  your  friend. 


C      148     ) 

kiid  be  thankful  for  a  friend... You  will  meet 
with  many  who  will  turn  aside  and  laugh  at 
your  little  fciables  ;  but  few,  'Dcryfenx)^  will  be 
faithful  enough  to  point  them  out,  and  warn 
you  of  them.... This,  and  this  only,  is  the 
friendship  my  heart  approves ;  nor  can  I  call 
that  person  my  friend,  who  could  withhold 
reproof  where  he  saw  I  needed  it... My  Dear 
Friend,  watch  ovtr  your  own  spirit,  and  ob- 
serve ^'^z^r  0^71  conduct,  and  let  nothing  pass 
unheeded  by  you  ;  your  youth,  your  natural 
prcpensit}'  to  gaiety  and  sprightliness,  your 
unmarried  slate,  and  the  pride  oFyour  own 
heart ;  will  insensibly  incline  you  to  little  fop- 
peries  in  gesture  and  dress,  and  little  niceties 
about  yourself;  which  will  hurt  your  own  soul, 
lessen  your  usefulness,  and  make  you  ridicu- 
lous to  others,  if  not  guarded  against.... Now 
don't  let  the  enemy  represent  this  my  freedom 
in  a  wrong  light,  but  pray  that  the  Lord 
would  shew  you  yourself^  and  save  you  from 
yourself^  I  could  say  much  more,  were  you 
present,  but  I  forbear;  may  the  Lord  instruct 
you,  and  lead  you  into  all  truth,     prays  your 

Sincere  friend 
ELIZA  BENNIS. 


(     149     ) 

LETTER  LXXIII 

Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis....to  Mr.  John  Christian. 
Limerick,  October  20,  17/1. 
MY  Dear  Brother  Christian's  lettci-' 
brought  welcome  news  ;  the  Waterford  soci- 
ety is  dear  to  me,  and  am  happy  at  their  pros- 
perity ;  may  the  Lord  increase  the  welfare 
of  Zion... I  am  thankful  to  my  God,  for  en= 
abling  me  to  either  speak  or  write  any  thing, 
that  has  in  any  wise  been  helpful  to  you  ;  by 
this  we  may  see  the  great  benefit  of  christian 
communion,  and  how  agreeable  to  the  will 
of  God.  We  are  not  only  called  to  confess 
our  sins  to  each  other,  but  also  to  tell  our 
temptations  ;  else  how  can  we  pray  for  each 
other  ?  Satan  wiil  present  a  thousand  pruden- 
tial reasons,  why  we  should  keep  these  things 
to  ourselves,  but  I  never  knew  any  good 
proceed  from  it;  on  the  contrary  we  may  re- 
mark that  often  whilst  we  are  speaking  or 
writing  to  our  friend,  the  doubt  is  resolved, 
or  the  temptation  removed,  which  should  be 
an  encourigement  never  to  keep  the  Devils 
secrets. 

I  think  you  have  9:reat  reason  to  praise  th(i 
Lord,   that  he  does  not  suiTer  you  to  speak 
N   2 


(      ^50     ) 

for  him  in    vain ;   O    be  thankful,    be  hum- 
ble,   and  be  satisfied  with    all  his  dispensa- 
tions,   be  assured  they  are  all  in  love,  how- 
ever afflictive  or  distressing  ;... the  stubborn- 
ness of  our  nature  often  requires  these  bitter 
medicines,  and  how  kind  is  it  to  force  them 
on  us,  even  against  our  will,  rather  than  let 
us  die  of   the  disease.     An   attentive   mind 
will   feel    the   health    which    these   impart, 
though  unpleasant  in  the  using.  Indeed  I  have 
often  considered  the  Lord,  as  a  wise  physi- 
cian over  his  own  family  of  children  ;  who  at- 
tentively examines  into  their  several  constitu- 
tions ;  and  at  proper  times  administers  Phy- 
sic, or  Cordials,  or  Bitter  draughts,  according 
as  each  have  need ;  the   ignorant  child  per- 
haps frets  and  cries,  and  refuses  the  ill  tasted 
draught ;  and  thinking  the  parent  unkind  to 
offer  it,  often  persists  in  a  stubborn  refusal, 
until  his  parent  is  obliged  to  use  the    Rod, 
whilst  his  own  heart  yearns  over  the  child, 
but  it  is  to  save  his  life ;  therefore  the  child 
must  not   be  spared  'till  he  submits.     Cor- 
dials are  pleasant,  and  children  would  be  al- 
ways livmg   on  what  is  sweet   and  pleasant 
to  the  taste    but  we  knoAV  nothing  is  more 


(      151      ) 

unwholesome.  Will  not  the  comparison  hold  ? 
Then  surely  it  is  our  wisdom  to  leave  our- 
selves and  all  our  affairs  in  his  hands,  w^ho 
alone  is  able  to  help  us,  and  knows  what  is 
best  for  us ;  but  let  us  in  all  things  say, 
**Lord  I  will  not  choose,  because  thou  can- 
not err;"  I  know  this  is  a  hard  lesson,  but 
we  have  a  divine  teacher,  and  with  him  all 
things  are  possible.  O  that  we  may  never 
grow  weary,  let  us  pray  for  this.... Your  tru- 
ly Affectionate  Friend, 

ELIZA  BENNIS. 


LETTER  LXXtV. 
Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis,....to  Mr.  John  Christian. 
Lnnericky  March  29,  1772, 

DEAR  BROTHER  CHRISTIAN 

I  FEAR  you  have  mistaken  some  of  our 
late  conversation  ;  since  our  first  acquaintance 
I  have  had  no  reason  to  think  you  of  a  conten- 
tious spirit,  quite  the  contrary  ;  what  I  then  said 
was  merely  by  way  of  caution,  as  I  know  it 
is  quite  natural  for  us  to  speak  as  we  think  ; 
and  as  your  thoughts  in  some  respects  differ 
from  Mr.  Wesley's,  you  may  be  apt  to  pro- 
mulge  your  own  opinions  rather  than  his; 


which  would  certainly  lessen  you  in  the  es- 
teem of  all  the  sensible  part  of  youe  hearers, 
and  be  a  cause  of  much  disputation  to  the  ig- 
norant, tho'  sincere.  Indeed  I  do  not  see  how 
you  can  find  your  mind  clear  to  require  or  ac- 
cept a  travelling  station  among  the  Methodists 
while  you  hold  any  opinion  contrary  to  our 
professed  doctrines,  neither  can  I  see  how 
Mr.  Wesley  will  be  justifiable  in  sending  you 
forth  under  such  circumstances;  and  as  I  must 
act  according  to  my  conscience,  I  have  told 
him  so.  Whatever  opinions  a  private  mem. 
her,  or  even  a  local  preacher  may  hold.  I  think 
it  is  essential  a  traveling  preacher  should  be 
clear ^  sounds  and  orthodox;  yet  these  my 
thoughts  do  by  no  means  lessen  my  esteem 
for  you,  nor  my  belief  that  you  may  be  useful 
where  you  are.  I  am  rather  persuaded  in 
opinion  that  whilst  you  retain  the  same  fervor 
with  which  you  set  out,  the  Lord  will  bless 
and  own  you.  But  be  humble,  be  simple,  be 
satisfied  to  be  taught  by  God,  and  by  his  expe- 
rienced servants  :  be  open  to  conviction,  and 
the  Lord  will  t^ach  you  what  you  know  not. 
As  to  yoTir  jnfts,  I  shall  only  say,  1  have  al- 
ways observed,  that  it  was  not  the  gifts  c" 


(      153      ) 

rfie  preacher  that  converted  the  muhitude ; 
but  rather  the  heart  of  the  preacher.  This 
expression  I  know  would  not  go  down  with 
some,  but  through  a  long  course  of  experi- 
ence, I  have  ahvays  seen  that  gifts  and  grace 
are  two  things ;  when  both  meet  they  appear 
very  amiable,  but  the  gracious  soul  wlio  has 
nothing  of  his  own,  but  what  he  by  faith  draws 
down  from  the  heart  of  Christ  every  moment; 
shall  prosper  both  in  his  soul  and  in  his  la- 
bours ;  how  hard  is  it  to  have  great  gifts 
without  being  sensible  of  them  ?  but  the  soul 
who  feels  its  littleness,  and  knows  its  need, 
will  be  constrained  to  do  as  the  old  papist, 
woman,  who  lost  her  beads,  saying,  **now  I 
have  nothing  to  depend  on  but  the  Lord  Je- 
sus;" these  are  the  r^m^  boms  which  the 
Lord  still  uses  and  honours  in  his  work. 

As  to  your  temptations,  I  think  you  give 
too  much  way  to  the  enemy ;  if  you  are  wil- 
ling to  leave  father  and  mother,  wife  and 
children  for  Christ's  sake ;  what  greater  proof 
can  you  give  that  you  love  him  better  than 
they  ?  and  if  he  calls  you  to  a  greater  or  far- 
ther proof,  are  you  not  ready  ?  do  you  find 
them  as  idols  in  your  heart  ?  do  they  usurp 


(  15^  ) 

the  place  that  Christ  should  have  ?  if  not  why 
do  you  dispute  with  the  enemy ;  if  they  do  why 
do  you  cease  crying  to  him  that  is  able  to  deli, 
ver.  Is  the  matter  doubtful  ?  so  that  you  cannot 
conclude  on  either  side  ;  then  cry  mightily  and 
unceasingly  to  the  Lord,  that  he  would  answer 
for  himself,  and  bear  his  own  testimony  to  his 
own  work  ;  let  non^  baffle  you  out  of  this  ;  it 
is  certainly  yo^i'  privilege  to  knonx}  the  things 
that  arc  freely  given  to  you  of  God  ;  and  how 
shall  we  know  them,  but  by  the  light  of  his 
own  spirit,  shining  on  his  work  in  our  hearts  \ 
that  sane  light  which  first  discovered  our  own 
darkless,  and  pointed  us  to  the  attoneing  blood, 
and  then  clearly  shew^ed  us  our  interest  in 
Christ  i  the  same  light  I  say,  discovers  our 
inbred  sin,  and  also  our  deliverance  from  it; 
and  not  only  so,  but  lights  us  all  our  way. 
'till  we  are  brought  to  glory.  This  is  the 
glorious  privilege  of  the  children  of  God,  it 
is  your  privilege  and  mine ;  why  should  we 
stop  short,  the  way  is  plain,  it  is  only  attain- 
ded  by  sim.ple  faith ;  and  should  the  enemy 
object,  "you  have  not  this  faith;"  will  you 
stand  and  dispute  it  with  him  ?...No,  but 
lx)ok  up,  and  say  I  cannot  dispute,  but  I  will 


C    ^^o    ) 

?ww  believe,  and  take  Christ  as  my  complete 
Saviour ;  my  all  in  time,  and  Eternity.  O  be- 
lieve and  surely  you  shall  be  established, 
now  believe  and  you  shall  be  made  whole. 
The  natural  affection  you  feel  for  your  v^ife 
and  children,  and  the  yearnings  of  your  heart 
at  times  towards  them  is  no  proof  against  you, 
the  highest  degree  of  grace  does  not  de- 
stroy natural  affection,  nor  even  the  tenderest 
feelings  ;  no  it  rather  tenders  the  heart,  and 
makes  it  more  susceptible  of  these,  so  that 
the  masculine  spirit  who  before  felt  no  affec- 
tion for  a  wife  or  children,  when  it  receives 
the  grace  of  God  is  changed  into  love  and 
tenderness  ;  then  may  we  not  suppose,  as  a 
person  advances  in  grace  and  increase  in  love 
to  God,  that  his  love  to  these  will  also  in- 
crease ;  it  certainly  does,  and  I  think  accord- 
ing to  the  nature  of  things,  it  cannot  be  other- 
^'  wise.  This  often  brings  painful  sensations  to 
the  mind  of  one  under  your  circumstances, 
and  makes  absence  very  trying;  then  the  accu- 
ser comes  in,  to  avail  himself  of  our  weak- 
ness ;  and  brings  showers  of  accusations, 
when  the  Lord  does  not  accuse  ;  but  let  us 
not  be  ignorant  of  his  devices ;  he  is  still  the 


( I-^^  ) 

accuser  of  the  brethren,   and  all  his  fiery  darts 
are  quenched  by  simple  faith. 

I  am  obliged  to  conclude  abruptly.... You> 
sincere  friend. 

ELIZA  BENNIS. 


LETTER  LXXV. 
Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis...to  Mr.  John  Christian. 
Limerick^  Octuher  22,  1773. 
I  AM  truly  sorry,  that  any  thing  should  j 
damp  my  dear  Brother  Christians  earnest  df  -  | 
sires,  after  the  full  and  perfect  enjoyment  of 
God.  Truly  they  that  will  follow  Christ,  must 
take  up  his  cross,  must  bear  his  reproach ; 
and  suffer  the  scandle  of  the  cross,  and  the 
nearer  they  would  come  to  him,  the  deep- 
er they  must  drink  of  his  cup. ...But  all  can- 
not receive  this  ;  many  are  willing  to  follow 
him  while  he  is  well  spoken  of,  and  had  in 
repute ;  but  do  not  choose  to  own  him  when 
he  is  evil  treated..,. Many  followed  him  with 
loud   hosannahs  Vvhen  he  rode    in    triumph 

into  Jerusalem  ;  but  where  were  these,  when 
he  stood  buffeted  and  spit  upon,  in  a  most 
contemptable  figure  before  Pilate  ?  perhaps 
among  the  multitude  which  cried... **away 
^vith  him,  crucify  him  !"  yet  in  that  posture 


(  1^7  ) 

as  a  condemned  malefactor,  scorned  by  his 
enemies,  and  forsaken  by  his  friends;  be- 
smeared with  dirt,  spit  upon  and  beaten ;  a 
spectacle  to  men  and  devils!  he  was  indeed 
the  very  Jesus  who  was  transfigured  on  the 
mount;  and  who  ascended  gloriously  into 
Heaven  in  the  sight  of  his  disciples  ;  who  is 
no\^at  the  right  hand  of  God,  and  **who  ev- 
er liveth  to  make  Intercession  for  us."  His 
sufferings  made  no  alteration  in  his  person, 
office  or  dignity,  he  was  still  the  same,  ^*God 
over  all,  Blessed  for-evermore."...And  will 
not  the  comparison  hold  ?  let  my  friend  make 
the  application.... It  is  much  to  be  lamented, 
that  Jesus  still  meets  with  the  deepest  wounds, 
in  the  house  of  his  friends  ;  and  at  such  times 
who  will  venture  to  stand  by  him  ?  I  say  who? 
Blessed  be  God  there  are  some  who 
dare  profess  his  truths  in  the  face  of  every 
opposition;... and  can  set  to  their  seal,  that 
He  is  true... Indeed  I  cannot  help  wondering 
how  the  Devil  blinds  the  eyes  of  even  the 
most  sensible  part  of  mankind;  and  what  is 
worse,  even  of  the  dear  childrc  n  of  God;  and  is 
it  not  a  reproach  on  tlicir  v/isdom  and  under- 
.standing,  to  be  so  easily  drawn  aside  b;-  -he 


(     1-58     ) 

subtle  reasonings    of  the  enemy,  uhich  you 
yourself  have  heard  confuted  a  thousand  times ; 
may  I  not  say,     %vhich   you    yourself  have 
often  confuted  ;  and   which  the  spirit  of  God 
has  repeatedly  maade   as     clear  to  you,g  the 
noonday... If  we  were  to  judge  of  the  doctrine 
by  the  lives  of  some  professors,  we  should  ex- 
plode justification   as  well  as  sanctification  ; 
and  if  it  hold  good  in  the  one,  it  should  also 
in  the  other... Otherwise  Judas  being  a  traitor, 
would  prove   Christ  an   impostor,.. But  sup- 
pose nine  out  often  who  profess  sanctification, 
turned  apostates,  it  could  not  make  the  word 
of  God  of  none  effect ;  if  this  be  reall)*  the  pri- 
vilege of  God's  children,  and  purchased  for 
them  by  the  blood  of  Christ... Some  having 
made  shipwreck  of  the  faith  and  a  good  con- 
science, is  no  proof  that  the  rest  are  deceived; 
If  any  who  do  profess  it,  do  not  evidence  it  b}* 
their  lives,  it  proves  that  such  are  deceived ,' 
but  it  proves  no  more.     If  some  who  profess 
it,  did  for  some  time  walk  in  the  light  of  Gods 
countenance,  but  are  now  turned  aside,  "like 
the  dog  to  his  vomit;''  this  does   not  prove 
that  there  is  no  such  state.     But   it  proves 
th*t  this  blessing  as  w^ell  as  justification  is  on 


(      159     ) 

ly  retained  by  constant  watchfulness  and  pray- 
er.. .And  it  proves  that  without  this,  a  person 
in  that  state,  may  as  certainly  fall,  as  Adam 
did  in  paradise,  or  the  angels  in  Heaven. 
But  it  does  not  prove,  that  there  is  no  such 
state  to  be  attained;  no  more  than  Adam's  fall 
proves  that  there  was  no  such  place  as  para- 
dise, or  the  Angel's  lull  that  there  v/as  no  such. 
place  as  Heaven.  In  all  the  persecutions 
which  the  Christians  underwent  for  the  sake 
of  Christ,  many  sealed  the  truth  v/ith  their 
blood;  but  there  was  also  many  apostates  wlio 
brought  a  scandal  on  the  cause ;  and  shall  we 
look  and  point  at  these,  and  bring  them  as  a 
proof  that  therestwere  deceived,  and  died  in  a 
bad  cause  ;  or  shall  we  bring  the  multitude  of 
Ahtinomians,  who  at  present  hold  the  truth 
in  unrighteousness  to  prove  that  Faith  in 
Christ,  is  the  most  dangerous  of  all  errCTs. 
'  '  My  Dear  Friend  bear  with  me,  and  suffer 
genuine,  naked,  simple  Truth,  to  find  its  way 
to  your  heart;  consider  your  calling,  it  is  a 
great  thing  to  be  employed  for  God  ;  howe\er 
the  hearers  may  plead  ignorance,  I  cannot 
think  the    preacher  should.     I   acknowlege 


(     160     ) 

myself  insufficient  in  every  respect  to  defend 
so  great  a  truth,  should  I  not  rather  apply  to 
you  as  a  teacher  in  Israel?  for  the  explanation 
of  the  many  texts  in  scripture  which  point  at, 
and  promise  such  a  state... In  the  Old  Testa- 
ment there  are  many,  and  in  all  the  prophesies 
qUMs  glorious  gospel  day,  this  entire  rectitude 
of  heart  is  particularly  spoken  of.... But  if  \Ve 
would  pay  a  greater  attention  to  the  Ne>v 
Testament;  if  this  is  given  to  us  as  the  rule  i 
of  our  faith  and  practice,  and  (may  I  not  add)  ! 
as  the  great  Charter  of  ca\y  profession,  by  i 
^hich  Vv'e  shall  be  either  cleared  or  condemn- 
ed in  the  great  Day  ;  does  it  not  concern  us, 
to  search  and  try  every  page,  and  see  if  these 
things  be  really  so  or  not...  It  is  very  remark- 
able that  the  strongest  expression  in  all  the 
Scripture  is  used  by  our  Lori  himself... In- 
deed I  do  not  think  that  any  other  would 
even  dare  to  use  it,  Matthev/,  5  &  48.  Be 
ye  perfect^  even  as  your  Father  u^hich  is  '  in 
Heaven  is  perfect, ^^  and  Verse  8  *'  Blessed 
are  the  pure  in  heart, ''^  and  John  17  &  17 -he 
prays,  *'  Sanctify  them  through  thy  truths 
The  Appostle  Paul  in  the  2nd.    Corinth- 


ians  7  Sc  1.  advises,  ^'  Hamng  therefore 
these  promises^  let  us  cleanse  oursehes  from 
all  filthincss  of  the  flesh  and.  spirit,  perfecting 
holiness  in  the  fear  of  God' \.,vind  Hebrews 
10  &  14.  '*  Follow  peace  with  all  men^  and 
holiness,  ivithout  which  no  man  shall  sec  the 
Lord',''  and  1st  Peter  1  &:  15.  ''  But  as 
be  which  hath  called  you  is  holy,  so  be  ye  holy, 
because  it  is  written,  be  ye  holy,  for  lam  holy,'' 
also  1st  John  1  &  7  **  If  we  walk  in  the  light 
as  be  is  in  the  light,  we  ha^Dc  fellowship  one 
with  another,  and  the  blood  of  Jesus  Christ 
his  son  cleanseth  us  from  all  si?i,"  and  verse 
9th  ''  he  is  faithful  and  just  toforgi'oetisour 
sins,  and  to  cleanse  us  from  all  unrighteous- 
^iiess",»*JM.2iTiy  more  texts  might  be  quoted 
to  prove  the.  same  thing;  namely  that  it  is 
'both  our  duty  and  privilege  to  love  the  Lord 
our  God  with   all   our  heart,   and  soul,  and 

%  mind,  arid  strength ;  which  is  only  Avhat  is 
implied  in  the  terms  Holiness,  perfection,  or 
^anctification....But  if  this  be  not  the  blessing- 
pointed  at  in  the  above  texts,  I  would  ask 
what  other  blessing  is  meant?  Avoiikl    you 

.   answer  a  justified  state  ;  then  I  would  ask, 

docseveryjustified  person  feel  that  he  is   pure 
O  2 


(     162     ) 

ii*  heart  ?  I  say  ^"o^ry  justified  person,  for  if 
these  are  the  blessings  consequent  on  justifir 
cation,  then  they  are  common  to  every  be- 
liever, and  should  be  the  marks  by  which 
they  should  try  their  faith  ;  and  if  this  was 
the  case,  how  few,  how  very  few  believers 
should  we  have  left.... Most  of  the  believers  I 
have  ever  met  with,  have  been  deeply  con- 
vinced of  the  impurity  of  their  hearts,  the  un- 
holiness  of  their  tempers,  and  natural  bias 
that  is  in  them  to  evil ;  until  the  Lord  by  the 
great  word  of  his  power  creates  all  anew.... 
x^Vnd  why  is  it  that  the  Lord  does  discover 
this  root  of  bitterness  to  every  believer,  and 
puts  a  ciy  in  their  hearts  for  a  total  deliver- 
ance J  with  a  promise  that  he  will  save  to  the 
uttermost  even  as  far  as  their  faith  can  reach  P 
If  my  Friend  never  felt  this  plague  of  his  own 
heart  since  his  justification,  I  heartily  con- 
gratulate him,  and  wish  he  never  may ;  but 
if  he  feels  his  malady,  why  does  he  lose  time 
looking  to  those  who  are  strayed  into  by 
paths  ;  Jesus  the  good  physician  calls  aloud ; 
**  Look  unto  me,  and  be  sai)ed*^  O  let  him 
not  call  in  vain.  Prays  your  most  sincere 
Friend,  '^^ 

ELIZA  BENNIS. 


(     163     ) 

LETETR  LXXVI. 

Lieutenant  Charles  Jones.. to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis 
Diibrm,  December^  17,  1770, 
Dear  Madam, 

YOUR  former  letters  have  often  afforded 
solid  comfort,  and  served  as  so  many  kind 
monitors  to  awaken  my  drowsy  powers,  and 
to  confirm  me  in  that  great  truth,  that  there 
is  no  true  happines  out  of  Christ ;  and  that 
virtue  never  fails  of  an  ample  reward....!  am 
at  present  as  a  ship  tossed  on  the  Ocean,  the 
port  of  rest  often  presents  itself  to  view,  but 
sudden  gusts  of  inbred  evils  drive  it  from 
my  sight ;  and  like  a  heedless  pilot  I  am  ready 
to  be  hurried  on  the  rocks  of  inevitable  ruin; 
O  were  it  on  the  Rock  Christ,  I  should  then 
be  broken  indeed  !  but  into  a  pleasing  contri- 
tion of  spirit,  which  God  will  not  dispise. 
Although  I  feel  not,  that  ardent  desire  of  close 
communion  I  formerly  did  with  .  the  children 
of  God,  witness  my  heart,  I  still  love  and  res- 
pect them,  above  any  people  on  Earth  ;  and 
never  fail  to  offer  up  my  earnest  petitions  for 
the  prosperity  ofZion. 

It  appears  as  if  providence  intended  I  should 
not  quit  the  Army  yet,  every  prospect  out  of 


it  seems  dismal  and  dreary  with   fespect  to 
my  family ;    I    have  therefore   thought  best 
to  continue  as  I  am,   'till  I  can  see  my  way 
more  clear  for  a  change. 
I  am  Dear  Madam,  yom'  assured  Friend, 
And  unworthy  Brother 

CHARLES  JONES. 


LETTER  LXXVn. 
Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis...to  Lieutenant  Charles  Jones. 
Li?nerick,  Jaunary  3,  1771. 
Let  it  not  displease  my  Dear  Brother 
Jones,  if  I  should  acknowlege,  that  I  often 
think  of  you  with  some  degree  of  distress. 
My  fears  for  you  are  many. ...when  we  give 
way  to  slackness,  what  have  we  not  to  fear  ? 
You  did  run  well :  what  has  hindered  ?  The 
bewitching  allurements  of  a  transitory  world  ! 
Alas,  with  what  a  drudgery  are  these  purchas- 
ed, and  how  foolish  a  barter  for  Chrisf  and 
Heaven  :  But  these  I  trust  are  not  already, 
or  alltogether  forfeited.  You  do  certainly  in- 
tend sometime  or  other  to  stir  yourself  up... 
to  seek  the  Lord.. .to  recover  all  you  have  lost ; 
and  to  continue  faithful  to  his  grace. '  But  O 


(     165     ) 

remember  the  fate  of  the  foolish  virgins', 
just  in  your  state  ;  their  lamps  not  quite,  but 
almost  extinguished  ;  whilst  they  slept  in  this 
state,  the  cry  was  made  !  their  oil  spent,  and 
their  doom  irrevocably  sealed.  May  the 
Lord  forbid  that  this  should  be  my  friends 
case  !  But  is  there  not  cause  to  fear  ?  We 
may  plan  and  contrive  to  bring  about  our  own 
purposes  in  life,  but  whilst  we  are  thus  busi- 
ly employed,  the  Lord  may  suddenly  bring 
his  to  pass,  and  say,  '•^  Thou  fool,  this  night 
is  thy  soul  required  of  thee.'^'  This  indeed  is 
an  alarming  thought !  O,  what  shall  it  profit 
then,  to  have  gained  all  we  desired,  if  our 
own  desires  are  made  our  Curse,  But  have  I 
said  too  much  ?  I  hope  not.  I  trust  you  can 
yet  bear  plain,  honest  dealing,  from  one  who 
indeed  loves  your  soul,  and  earnestly  desires 
your  true  happiness.  No,  my  Dear  Brother 
,.  Jones,  be  not  offended... the  Lord  knows  v/hat 
I  feel  for  you,  even  now  whilst  I  am  writing. 
Indeed  I  am  thankful  on  your  behalf  that  the 
Lord  has  hitherto  kept  you  from  outward  sin  ; 
but  surely  I  need  not  say  to  you,  that  this  will 
not  do.  The  servant  in  the  gospel  was  con- 
d'-^nmed  as  wicked,  only  for  his  slothfulness, 


(     ^66     ) 

he  had  not  squandered  his  Lords  money,  he 
kept  it  safe,  and  had  it  to  produce.  Is  this 
our  case  ?  Have  we  even  kept  his  grace... has 
my  friend  kept  it  ?  Has  not  his  heart  depart- 
ed from  the  Lord  in  search  of  other  things.... 
(Riches,  Honour,  Titles)  to  the  neglect  of 
those  very  means  which  your  ovm  conscience 
approves,  and  which  have  been  so  often  bless- 
ed to  your  soul.  But  let  the  time  past  suffice  ; 
the  Lord  who  has  borne  long  with  you,  calls 
upon  you  noiio  to  arise  and  shake  yourself  from 
the  dust ;  he  has  been  wounded  in  the  house  of 
his  friend ;  but  is  now  ready  to  pardon  alL  O 
let  him  not  call  and  intreat  in  vain,  least  he 
should  at  last  be  provoked  to  say,  **  My  spu 
rit  shall  no  longer  stme  ivitb  him,,, *My  dear 
friend,  it  is  time  that  you  set  out  again... You 
know  not  how  short  your  date  may  be... Then 
give  this  little  shred  to  the  Lord,  who  has 
given  all  to  you,  and  trust  him  with  all  your 
affairs,  ^vho  alone  knows  what  is  best  for 
you  ;  and  trust  that  promise  made  to  those 
who  first  seek  the  kingdom  of  Heaven  ancl 
its  Righteousness,  that  ''all  other  things 
sliall  be  added  to  them.-'  Then  take  him 
at  his  word,  cast  all    vour  care    unon  him, 


(  isr  ; 

give    yourself  up  simply  into    his    hands ; 
and  be  determined  to  seek  his  favour,  which 
alone   can   make  you  happy   in  life  and   in 
in  death,  be  not  displeased  at  my  freedom... 
for  I  dare  not  use  reserve  in  spiritual  matters ; 
if  I  write  at  all  I  must  not  wound  my  con- 
science, but  write  what  is  in  my  heart ;  and 
the  most  welcome  return  I  can  receive,   is 
the  same  plain  dealing  from  my   friend;...! 
know  I  have  need  of  it,  and  such  has  always 
proved  a  blessing  to  my   soul.... I   thank  my 
God,  I  do  find  him  gracious,  he  is  indeed 
the  ^'■desire  of  my  soul,  and  the  joy  of  my 
heart, ''^  and   I  do  feel  his  love  better  than  life, 
and  it  is  by  his  grace  my  determined  reso- 
lution to  follow  him  whithersoever  he  shall 
lead    me,   and   am  content  to   be  despised 
derided  and  counted  a  fool  for  his  blessed 
names   sake,   who  has  made  me  wise  to  sal- 
vation;...! met  with  Lieutenant  Gibbons  in 
Waterford,   a  ^qw  days  since,  and  trust  we 
have  been  a  blessing  to  each  other ;  he  has 
recovered  his  strength,  and  is  now  veiy  hap- 
py in  his  soul,...  my  Affectionate  love  to  Sis- 
ter Jones  ;  stir  each  other  up,  the  day   Is  far 
spent,  the   night  is  at  hand,   and  little  work 


(     168     ) 

done   for  Eternity  !  May  the  Lord  bless  you 
both,  and  save  you  from  resting  in* a  nega- 
the  holiness,  and   make  you  partakers  of  all 
his   great  and  precious  promises,  is  the  ear- 
nest prayer  of  Your  real  friend, 

ELIZA  BENNIS. 


LETTER  LXXVill. 

Mrs.Eliza  Bennis...to  Mr.  R.  T. 

Limerick^  December  22,  1771. 

DEAR  SilR, 

I  HAVE  just  received  your  unexpec- 
ted  favour,  and  am  much  obliged  by  the  fa- 
vourable   opinion  you  seem  to  entertain  of 
me,  and  the  confidence   you  would  repose  in 
me,by  so  open  and  free   an   acknowledgment 
of  your   faults ;  the  later   is  certainly  a  cir- 
cumstance in  your  favour,    for  the   promise 
of  mercy  is  to  him  who  confessetb  and/orsak- 
eth  his  sins.. ..But  as  you  have  opened  your, 
mind  so  fi-eely,  will  you  be  offended  at  my  ^ 
plainness  of  speech?  I  hope  not;    may   the 
Lord  shew  you    all    your    heart.... I    think. 
Pride  was  your  first  ruin  ;  a  certain  uplif  ed- 
ness  of  heart,  and   confidence   in  ycur  own, 
Vv'isdom  and  abilities,  which  gave  you  some 
consequence  in  your  own  esteem.. .(1  observ- 


(     169     ; 

ved  something  of  this  when  I  was  the  second 
time  in  Waterford,  but  had  not  courage  to 
warn  you.)  This  seems  to  escape  your  no- 
tice at  present,  but  on  a  strict  scrutiny  into 
your  heart,  I  think  the  Lord  will  discover 
it  to  you.... When  I  was  last  there,  my  soul 
was  grieved  at  your  fall,  and  at  the  reproach 
which  it  brought  on  the  little  flock  ;  and  made 
me  often  ashamed  to  shew  my  face  in  com- 
pany. This  hindered  me  from  speaking  to  you 
though  my  heart  ached  for  you ;  nor  did  I 
forget  you  in  my  weak  petitions  to  the  throne 
.of  grace.  When  brother  C.  told  me  of  your 
convictions,  I  think  I  felt  some  small  degree 
of  what  the  blessed  above  feel,  at  the  return  of 
a  sinner ;  but  this  was  damped  by  many  fears, 
which  still  hindered  me  from  speaking  to  you  ; 
I  feared  what  you  were  most  grieved  at,  was 
the  loss  of  your  reputation,  and  that  your 
repentance  was  not  so  much  for  your  sin 
against  God,  as  for  your  loss  of  esteem 
amongst  men.  (I  hope  you  will  not  im- 
pute this  to  a  censorious  spirit,  the  Lord 
knows  it  is  not,  I  am  rather  apt  to  err  on 
the  other  side  ;  but  would  have  persons  all  of 

P 


(      1^0     ) 

a  piece ;  I  would  have  believers  bring  forth 
the  fruits  of  faith ;... and  I  would  have  peni- 
tents bring  forth  fruits  meet  for  repentance,) 
I  enquired  closely  concerning  you,  and  found 
you  were  then  engaged  in  a  matrimonial  aifair ; 
I  thought  if  your  heat  was  broken  for  sin, 
you  would  have  but  little  appetite  for  court- 
ing. Again  I  understood  your  chief  compa- 
nions were  those  who  had  themselves  depart- 
ed from  God,  and  were  then  bitter  enemies 
to  his  people;  such  could  not  possibly  be 
helpful  to  your  soul,  while  their  own  hearts  were 
full  of  rancour  and  bitterness.  I  hope  such 
are  not  now  your  associates  ?  If  your  repen- 
tance be  sincere  you  will  seek  for  other  com- 
pany, who  will  be  able  to  help  you  up  again  : 
do  not  think  I  write  thus  plain  to  reproach 
you,  my  heart  is  witness  I  do  not  w^ant  to 
grieve  you  ;  I  feel  some  part  of  your  burden, 
and  am  at  times  enabled  to  lay  it  be- 
fore the  Lord  ;  but  I  would  have  you  search 
your  heart  to  the  bottom,  and  tear  it  open 
before  him ;  mark  the  rock  on  which  your 
Bark  has  already  split,  and  lop  off  every  thing 
in  your  affections  or  practice,  which  might 
be  a  hindrance  to  your  restoration,  the  Lord 


(  171  ) 

tjiir  God  is  a  jealous  God,  and  will  not 
Bear  a  competitor,  he  must  be  served  in  spir- 
it and  in  truth.  You  see  Vvhat  you  have  lost 
fey  looking  two  ways  ;  your  business  now  is 
straight  forw^ard  ;  may  the  Lord  direct  your 
steps,  and  give  that  earnestness  of  soul  which 
^I'ill  take  no  denial,  you  will  get  no  good  by 
lying  still,  bemoaning  yourself, ;  your  rem- 
edy is  in  view ;  the  Brazen  serpent  is  lifted 
up,  look  to  him  No%v^  Now,  Now  believe 
and  you  shall  be  made  whole  this  moment ; 
the  Lord  is  w^illing  to  give  power,  only  ask 
in  faith,     I  am  Your  sincere  friend 

ELIZA  BENNIS. 


LETTER  LXXIX. 
Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis...to  Mr,  R.  T. 

Lifnerick,  y miliary  29,  1772. 

BEAR  SIR, 

THOUGH  I  know  not  how  to  use  re- 
serve in  spiritual  matters  ;  yet  I  could  never 
approve  of  that  wildness  which  would  take 
as  given  by  the  Spirit  of  God,  every  impres- 
sion that  may  be  made  on  the  mind  ;  this  i 
think  would  lead  into  great  extravagance  ;  it 
is  certain  the  event  often  proves  that  our  fears 


(     t72     ) 

were  just;  but  who  can  tell  this  until  it  hap- 
pens ?    or  who  would  venture  to  act  from  a 
slight  impression,  as  though  there  was  a  cer- 
tainty... Indeed    my    liableness    to    mistake, 
and  the  sense  of  my  inability  to  judge  or  speak  ^ 
makes  me  at  times  very  backward. ..At  other 
times  I  think  1    am  more  forward  than  be- 
comes me,   and   am   ready  to  hide  my  face 
with  shame,  and  resolve  never  to  do  so  again.. 
But  the   past   is    over;   see  that  you  now 
profit  by  your  loss;  the  Lord  is    willing  to 
pardon  ail  that  is  past;   to  meet  the  prod-~ 
igal  half  way,  and  ^velcome  him  with  a  kiss . 
of  peace,  not  upbraiding   for  past  disobedi- 
ence, but   rejoicing  that  his  Son  which  was^ 
lost  is  again  found....  O  let  the  sense  of  such 
love  break  your  heart,   and  resolve  by   his 
grace  to  cleave  to  him  while  you  live.. .But 
where  do  1  stray  !  surely  I  can  say  nothing  to. 
you  (who  was  a  teacher  in  Isreal)  but  wliat  you 
know  already,  and  what  you  have  often  said^ 
to  others... My  heait's  desire  for  you  is,  to  see^ 
you   again  happy  in  the  love  of  God  ;  and  is  • 
not  this  also    our   Lords   desire  ?  then   wha^^ 
should  hinder,  if  my  friend  be  willing... il^t^-^t 
ihis  moment  the  Lord  is  as  willing  to  pai'don .. 


i      .73     ) 

as  ever  he  will  be. ...May  his  power  make' 
way  to  your  heart... is  the  fervent  prayer  of 
your  Sincere  Friend, 

ELIZA  BENNIS. 


LETTER  LXXX. 

Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis... to  Mr.  R.  T. 

Limerick^  November  22^   1772. 

I  MUST  tell  my  dear  friend  that  I  am 
r.ot  satisfied  concerning  you... I  am  jealous 
over  you,  and  fearful  that  you  do  not  act 
sincerely  with  God.... You  know  how  prone 
your  heart  is  to  wander  from  God... How 
ready  your  natural  disposition  to  lead  you 
astray,  and  how  prevalent  your  beseting  evil. 
Do  you  watch  against  these  ?  do  you  guard 
the  avenues  of  your  heart  ?  do  you  deny  your- 
self that  which  your  heart  most  desires  ? 
that  which  the  spirit  of  God  has  at  times 
given  you  to  see  is  most  dangerous  to 
you  ?  and  that  by  which  the  Devil  liad  almost 
got  you  into  his  snare  ?  I  ir.ean  trifling  un- 
profitable company...!  know,  notwithstand- 
ing the  hurry  of  business,  you  have  intervals 
of  leisure,  do  you  buy  up  these  opporniiM-I-  ;  ? 
do   you  sequester  yourself  to  poui 

s6Ul  in  secret  before  the  Lord,'  and  a 
P    2 


(     174     ) 

thankful  for  such  precious  opportunities  ?  does 
your  soul  hunger  after  them  ?  and  do  you 
prize  them  as  a  treasure  ?  do  you  seek  the 
company  of  those  who  are  precious  in  the 
sight  of  God  ?  is  it  with  these  you  spend  the 
moments  you  hav  for  conversation  ;  and  is 
the  company  of  others  empty  and  tiresome  to 
you  ?  O  bear  with  me ;  I  fear  this  is  not  the 
case... I  fear  you  neglect  prayer,  (I  do  not 
mean  totally)  I  fear  you  spend  your  leisure 
hours,  for  the  most  part,  in  company  that 
will  at  last  lead  you  to  destruction  1 1  fear  you 
are  not  watchful  over  your  own  heart,  and 
that  you  do  not  attend  to  the  admonitions  of 
God's  spirit... You  seem  to  know  and  feel 
your  malady,  blessed  be  God  for  this  !  it  is  a 
gracious  indication  of  his  willingness  to  save  ; 
his  mercy  is  held  out  to  you,  he  calls  and  in- 
vites you  to  accept  it,  and  will  not  remember 
against  you,  your  former  backslidings...But 
surely  though  his  mercy  is  free,  yet  it  miist 
be  sought,  in  the  way  of  his  own  appointing  : 
If  we  would  attain  the  end,  we  must  use  the 
means  \  though  w^e  cannot  by  any  preparation 
render  ourselves  worthy  of  the  grace  of  God  ! 
y^t  there  is  a  preparation  which  he  requires  \ 


(      1^5      ) 

and  without  which  he  never  will  accept  us  ; 
All  the  promises  of  the  Gospel  are  conditional. 
They  that  as^i  shall  receive... That  seek  shall 
find. ..That  kncek  shall  have  the  door  of  mercy 
opened  to  them,  And  our  Lord  exhorts  to 
'-'•cut  off  the  right  hand'''  to  ^^  pluck  out  the 
right  eye''''  to  remove  e'^sery  obstruction,  how- 
ever dear  or  profitable  to  us  ;  that  we  may  be 
the  better  prepai'cd  to  receive  his  grace  ;  In- 
deed I  think  our  desiring  the  grace  of  God 
implies  so  much... If  our  repentance  be  sin- 
cere we  will  bring  forth  fruit  meet  for  it... If 
we  sincerely  desire  to  be  brought  into  the 
favour  of  God,  this  desire  will  lead  us  to  deny 
ourselves  of  every  thing  that  is  displeasing  to 

^  him  ;  surely  if  we  would  take  the  kingdom  of 
Heaven  it  must  be  by  the  violence  of  prayer, 
and  self-denial;  for  the  promise  is  sure,  that 
at  what  time  soever  we  seek  the  Lord  with 
our  whole  hearty  we  shall  find  him...  Suffer  va^ 

^^^p  speak  thus  fi-eely ;  God  ivilhiot  be  trifled 
with,  what  a  man  soweth,  that  he  shall  cer- 
tainly reap... Examine  your  heart,  and  suffer 
the  spirit  of  God  to  reprove  you,  your  soul  is 
at  stake,  and  what  will  all  your  little  foolisU 
gratifications   profit  in  that  hour   when  you 


(     176     ) 

.shall  be  called  to  give  an  account  of  the  deeds 
done  in  the  body... May  I  ask,  what  profit  or 
satisfaction  have  you  nmv  of  all  that  is  past  ? 
is  not  the  remembrance  of  them  grievous  t 
do  they  not  produce  very  painful  reflections,  ? 
and  so  it  will  be,  while  you  seek  happiness 
in  the  creature. 

v?od  only  can  make  an  immortal  soul  hap- 
py, this  you  are  a  witness  of;  and  your  own 
conscience  must  testify  against  you,  that  you 
never  found  happiness  but  in  God..*. Come 
back  then  my  Brother  to  the  same  fountain 
which  stands  still  open ;  his  blood  is  still  suf- 
ficient, and  his  merit  still  prevalent ;  neither 
will  he  upbraid  for  all  that  is  past...O  do  not 
be  content  to  remain  in  your  present  state  ; 
press  hard  after  God,  cry  mightily  to  him, 
and  resolve  that  nothing  shall  hinder  your  re- 
turn :  you  are  not  in  the  morning  of  life, ..You 
know  not  hov/  soon  your  soul  may  be  requi- 
red of  you,  and  will  you  sell  your  birthright 
for  a  mess  of  pottage  ?  God  forbid,  put  forth 
all  your  strength,  and  the  Lord  will  help  you..  * 
Be  serious,  be  much  in  prayer,  and  O  fiy  tri- 
fling  foolish  company... If  you  would  save, 
your  soul  you  must  be  content  to  be  the  scoff 


(  15^?^  ) 

of  fools.. May  the  Lord  speak  with  power  to 
your  heart... Is  the  earnest  prayer,  of  Your 
Sincere  Friend, 

ELIZA  BENNIS* 


LETTER  LXXXL 
Mrs.  KUza  B€nni8...io  Mr.  R.  T. 

Limcrkk  November  9,  177  Zo 

DEAK    SIR, 

IT  cerrtainly  is  an  indication  of  an  hon- 
est heart,  to  bear  plain  dealing ;  but  will  this 
do,  while  you  still  continue  in  sin  ?  you  say 
my  letter  "  produced  half  a  resolution  to 
*^  amend,"  would  to  God  it  was  a  whole  one. 
such  if  earnestly  pursued  might  have  produced 
some  good  eftects.  But  how  long,  are  you  to 
go  on  at  this  rate  ?  half  resolving,  and  by  your 
delay  making  sure  your  eternal  damnation. 
You  acknowlege  your  fault,  plead  guilty,  and 
still  go  on  !  as  though  you  bid  God  defiance. 
Remember  ''  that  servant  who  knows  his  mas- 
ter's will  and  does  it  not,  shall  be  beaten  with 
many  stripes'*'* ;  I  have  already  laid  all  this 
before  you,  nor  can  I  noiM  say  any  thing  new, 
what  course  shall  I  then  take  ?  shall  I  give 
you  up !  seeing  you  will  not  be  reclaimed,  in- 
deed T  am  often  tempted  to  this,  but  at  such 


times  tlnnk  I  will  try  one  letter  more  ;  nor 
would  I  now  desist,  if  I  could  see  any  hope  of 
amendment ;    if    intreaties  could    prevail,    I 
would  beseech  you  to  have  mercy  on  your  own 
soul... TT;*^/ which  Christ  has  purchased  with 
his  blood;  That  which  must  live  for  ever,  and 
which  is  capable  of  such  celestial  enjoyment ; 
O  let  it  not  fall  a  victim  to  the  brutal  gratifi- 
cation of  a  filthy   carcase  ;  O  for  God's  sake 
consider  this,  and  consider  what    Christ  has 
done  and  suffered  for  you  ;  I  would  beseech 
you  for  his  sake  to  turn,  repent,  and  live.... 
what  could  he  have  done  more  for  you  than 
he  has  done  I  he  suffered  a  long  and  painful 
life,  and   died   a  grievous   and  ignominious 
death!  and  still  interceeds,  and   pleads  his 
merit  and   death,  in  your  behalf.     And  will 
you  still  continue  to  grieve  his  spirit  ?  to  pain 
his  loving  heart !  to  send  him  away  mourning 
and  complaining  that  *'  you  will  not  come  to 
him,  that  you  may   have   life'' ;    if  his  tears 
and  entreaties  w^ill  not  prevail ;  should  I  urge 
the  cause  of  God  scandalized  throtigh  yout* 
means,  will   not  all  this  force  vou  to  relent? 
Should  not   the,  people   of  God  whose^ouls 
vou  have  e:rieved,  cause  you  to  mourn  vo!i: 


(    ir9    ) 

revolt.     They   love  you,  they   are     pained 
for  you,  they  pray  and  weep  for  you,  and  still 
you  suffer  them   to  bear  your  reproach,  and 
blush  for  you  in  vain  ;  whilst  the  enemies'  of 
God  point  the  finger,  and  shake  the  head,  and 
cry,  "  so  would  we  have   it".   These  are,  I 
think,   weighty   considerations,  and    should 
have  some  place  in  a  heart  not  entirely  lost 
to  all   the  feelings  of  generosity  and  friend- 
ship.    Shall   I  extend  it  any  farther  ?   Shall  I 
as    an  individual  lay  claim  to  a  share  of  that 
friendship  which  you  have  so  often  professed 
for  me^   if  this   be  real,  why  will  you  grieve 
:e  ;  vv^hy  pain  TTry  heart  by  refusing  your  own 
mercies  ;   why  cannot  my  tears,  prayers  and 
entreaties  have   any  influence,    or  at  all  per- 
suade you  to  turn  to  God  and  live.   And  why 
has  not  the  weighty  consideration  of  a  youth 
in  the  dawn  of  life,  just  now  susceptible  of  ei- 
ther good  or  ill  impressions,    committed  to 
your  car^,*  swayed  by  your  example,  and 
guided  by  your  advice  ;  some  weight  with 
you^ ;  if  by  you  he  is  led  to  slight  the  means  of 
grace,  or  by  looking  at  your  life  and  conver- 
sation is  led  to  think  lightly  of  God  and  his 
ways  ;    and   from  a  contempt  of  your  profes- 

*  Her  oldest  son,  then  Apprentice  to  Mr.  T. 


(      180     } 

s:on  gives  way  to  carelessness  and  sin,  are 
you  not  answerable  for  his  soul ;  and  though 
he  should  perish  in  his  sins,  will  not  his  soul 
be  required  at  your  hands,  and  will  not  his 
destruction   enhance  your  own  damnation. 

O  will  not  all  the  admonitions  and  friend- 
ly warnings  you  have-  got  appear  as  swift 
witnesses  against  you  !  And  those  who  you 
now  cherish  as  dearest  friends,  to  whom  you 
have  given  your  heart  and  affections,  and  for 
whose  sake  you  are  at  times  even  willing  to 
be  damned;  will  you  not  then  in  the 
horror  of  irretrievable  darkness  and  despair, 
look  upon,  as  your  most  inveterate  enemies,  | 
and  mutually  curse  the  day  that  brought 
ye  first  together,  do  you  not  stand  on  the 
brink  of  the  most  slippery  precipice  !  O  what 
a  miracle  of  mercy,  that  your  own  incautious 
behaviour  has  not  long  since  tumbled  you  in  t 
How  long  it  may  be  the  case  God  only  knows  ; 
His  mercy  is  indeed  long  suffering ;  but  **  he 
that  has  been  often  reproved,  and  still  harden- 
eth  his  neck,  shall  be  suddenly  destroyed,  and 
that  ivitbout  remedy^\ 

I  have  just  received  a  letter  from  Mr.  Chris- 
tian, who  informs  me,  that  of  late  you  are  more 


(     181      ) 

frequent  at  the  public  meetings  ;  I  am  glad  to 
hear  this ;  God  grant  it  may  continue,  but 
without  a  uniformity  of  behaviour  in  heart  and 
life,  it  will  do  no  good  ;  a  partial  reformation 
is  only  a  new  piece  on  an  old  garment.  You 
must  be  all  of  a  piece,  and  watch  eveiy  mo- 
tion of  your  heart,  that  it  lead  yon  not  astraj'. 
If  you  are  in  earnest,  you  will  be  much  in 
prayer,  and  will  find  a  more  useful  manner  of 
spending  your  leisure  hours  ;  until  this  is  the 
case,  I  shall  have  but  little  hopes  of  you. 
I  am,  your  real  friend, 

ELIZA  BENNIS, 


LETTER  LXXXIL 

Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis,....to  Mr.  Jonathan  Hern^ 
Litnericky  March  27,  1773, 
SOME  time  since,  I  received  a  letter  from 
my  Dear  Brother  Hern,  which  some  little  jea- 
lousies prevented  my  answering.      But  as  I 
hope  the  cause  of  all  these  is  now^  removed 
from  your  heart,  so  is  the  very   remembrance 
of  them  from  mine.    Sister  M.  has  made  my 
heart  glad  on  your  account,  but  would  think 
it  a  particular  favour,  your  acquainting  me  in 
what  mamier  you  were  convinced  of  your  in- 

Q 


(      t82      ) 

dwelling  sin,  and  how  delivered  from  it... - 
Blessed  be  God  who  has  made  you  a  witness 
of  that  truth  which  you  have  so  often,  and  so 
vehemently  contradicted,  and  fought  against. 
Surely  you  are  now  called  to  testify  against  all 
the  works  of  the  Devil,  and  to  hunt  him  out 
of  every  strong  hold... May  the  Lord  make 
you  faithful  in  this ;  if  you  are,  your  own  soul 
shall  prosper... But  if  to  please  men,  you  keep 
back  any  part  of  the  childrens  portion,  be  as- 
sured the  Lord  will  deal  by  you,  as  you  do  by 
his  little  ones.  I  am  my  dear  Brother  Hern's 
Sincere  friend. 

ELIZA  BENNIS. 


LETTER  LXXXIIL 

Mr.  Jonathan  Hern... to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis. 

Cork,  April  IC-y,  \77^. 
I  SHALL  gladly  comply  with  my  Dear 
Sister  Bennis's  request... God  was  first  plea- 
sed  to  make  known  his  loving  kindness  to 
me,  by  pardoning  my  sins  in  the  year  1765,  , 
The  year  after,  I  was  married  ;  and  fell  from 
grace,  lost  the  life  of  God,  and  continued, 
careless  and  In  a  state  of  sin  for  four  months... 
The  Lord  in  pity  visited  me  again,  healed  my 


C     185     ) 

backslidings,  and  gave  me  a  sense  of  his  fa- 
vour...From  the  year  1764  to  the  year  1773. 
I  have  often  backslided  in  heart  from  God. 
I  often  felt  pride,  passion,  self-will,  and  eveiy 
evil  within  ;  and  was  content ;  nay  seemed  in 
league  with  these  enemies  of  my  peace  ;  and 
concluded  that  they  m.ust  necessarily  remain 
so  long  as  I  carried  a  body.  I  was  an  enemy 
in  my  heart,  to  the  doctrine  of  holiness  ;  where 
ever,  or  by  whomsoever  I  heard  it  preached, 
my  old  man  rose  up  against  it ;  Nay  though 
a  travelling  preacher  I  watched  over  those  for 
evil  who  professed  it !  Thus  you  see  how  I 
fought  against  one  of  the  most  fundamental 
doctrines  of  the  Gospel  of  Jesus  Christ,  and 
like  Saul  of  Tarsus  thought  I  was  doing  God. 
service. 

Last  nev/  years  day,  I  found  an  earnest 
desire  to  live  more  closely  to  God  ;  insomuch 
that  I  entered  into  covenant  with  hini;  in  my 
chamber  to  that  purpose.  The  next  day  he 
laid  lus  afflicting  hand  upon  me,  my  body  was 
racked  with  pain.  Under  this  afRiction  the 
Lord  gave  me  such  a  sight  of  my  heart  as  1 
never  had  before;  so  that  I  was  constrained  tc» 
cry  aloud ;    but    still  unbelief  prevailed   and 


(      184     ) 

urged  "  these  things  cannot  be  done  aw  ay,  £tt 
least  until  a  little  before  death'*,  however  I 
continued  to  have  such  a  sight  of  my  inbred 
corruptions  from  the  second  to  the  ninth  of 
January,  as  I  never  had  before.  (I  cried  Lord 
this  is  Hell)  on  the  ninth  of  January  a  book 
was  put  into  my  luuids  written  by  J^Ir.  Gilbert 
on  •'  Chri^:tian  Perfection"  ;  I  was  convinced 
by  the  arguments  there  made  use  of,  that  it 
v.as  attainable  by  simple  faith,  and  ivat  now 
(I  now  saw  my  cv;n  wisdom,  kept  me  at  a  dis- 
tance) Seeing  it  to  be  my  privilege,  and  be- 
ing weary  of  the  hell  in  m.y  own  breast,  I 
cried  mightily  to  the  Lcrcl,  and  on  Friday  the 
twenty  second  of  January,  that  77ietnorabic  iiv^y 
God  wiiile  I  Avas  at  prayer  removed  the  Hell 
in  my  breast,  and  I  ws  filled  with  lo^'e,  with 
Heaven,  and  with  God  !  on  the  Monday  fol- 
lowing while  meeting  the  select  band,  the 
Lord  so  shined  into  my  heart,  and  gave  me 
such  a  strong  testimony  of  his  Spirit ;  as  re- 
moved every  doubt  that  he  had  cleansed  it 
from  all  sin  ;  so  that  Jiow  I  know  experiment- 
ally, that  his  blood  cleanseth  from  all  sin.  I 
now  walk  with  God,  and  converse  with  him, 
as  a  man  with  his  friend.     He  is  pleased  to 


(    iS5    ) 

open  my  understanding  in  his  word ;  and  bles- 
sed  be  his  name  I  am  not  afraid   or  ashamed 
to  preach  Jesus  Christ  as  a  Saviour  to  the 
uttermost,  as  one  that  is  able  and  willing  nouo 
to  save  his  people  from  all  their  inbred  sins ; 
and  from  all  Earthly,   Sensual    and  Devilish 
tempers,     into   all  the  mind  which  was   in~ 
Christ.     Thus  you  see  what  the  Lord  Jesus 
has  done  in  a  short  time  ;  for  such  an  unwor- 
thy wretch.     O  praise  him  with  me.    *'  Eter- 
nity's too  short  to  sing  his  praise.     I  love  my 
dear  Sister  Bennis   7iow   better  than    ever... 
Those  are  particularly  dear  to  me  who  love 
God   with   (3r// their  heart.  ■  I  often  think  of 
you  and  the  select  band  in  Limerick,  and  can- 
not forget  to   pray  for  ye,   my  love  to  them 
all,    read  this  letter  for  them,  nay  publish  it 
upon  the  house  top.     God  since  he  has  bles- 
sed me  has  made  mine  enemies  to  be  at  peace 
with  me.     May  the  Gracious  Lord  bless  you 
and  may  your  soul  prosper  as  Carmcl,  Sha- 
ron and  Lebanon,     prays  your  truly 

Affectionate  Friend  and  Brother 
JONATHAN  HERN 
Q2 


•      i86     ; 

LETTER  LXXXlV. 
Mr.  John  Bristol... to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis, 

Balhj  Moore,  October  18,  1775. 
My  Dear  Friend 

Though  I  simpathize  in  your  trials,  yet 
you  have  not  one  too  many,  for  God  does  all 
things   ix)ell,  and  you  may   greatly    comfort 
yourself  by    firmly    believing   that  all  things 
^ball  work  together  for  good  to   them  that 
love    God  ;    can  you  say   you  are  not  one  of 
these  ?  No,  you  cannot,  you  dare  not  say  so  ; 
then  take  the  comfort  to  yourself.     You  may 
be  certain  that    deep  waters  are   not  more 
needful  to  carry  the  rich  laden  vessel  to  her 
appointed  haven,  than  those  deep  conflicting 
sorrows   are  to  bear  your  precious  immortal 
soul  over  the  tempestuous  ocean  of  this  dan- 
gerous  world,  to  that   blessed  and   peaceful 
shore  where  the  wicked  cease  from  troubling 
and  the  weary  enjoy  everlasting  rest.     Dark- 
ness I  do  not  plead  for,   God  forbid  !    but 
through  great  tribulation   w^  must  enter  the 
kingdom  of  God.     No   trial  I  know  for  the 
present  is  joyous,  but  they  tend  to  create  in  us 
an  indifference  to  sublunary  things.     High 
winds  and  loud  thunders  are  tenifying,  yet 


.      18/      ) 

ihey  have  their  intended  use,  they  purge  and 
cleanse  the  air,  the  application  is  easy,  and  I 
may  add  that  winters  nipping  frost,  carries  as 
useful  a  property  in  it,  as  May-day's  morning 
sun,   though   not   so  agreeable  to  u.      We 
have  often   experienced  what  is  most  displea- 
sing is  not  always  most  hurtful.     No,  for, 
**  Crosses  from  his  sovereign  hand,  are  bles- 
sings in  disguise".    The  great  Apostle,  be- 
sought the  Lord  thrice^  to  remove  the  thorn, 
but  his  answer  was  ''  My  grace  is  sufficient" 
what  can  you  desire  more  ?  Jesus  is  never  so 
precious  as   when   trouble  is  near ;  then  in 
bim,  we  experimentally  prove   dwells  all  the 
fulness   of  the    God-head  bodily  ;  and  out  of 
his  fulness  we  receive  grace  to  help  in  every 
time  of  need.      I  trust   you    will  soon  have 
abundant  cause  to  say  with  boldness,    *'  God 
is  my  refuge  and  strength,  and  a  very  present 
help  in  every   time  of  trouble".     I  am  confi- 
dent he  will  give  you  patience  under  all  your 
sufferings,    and  an  happy  deliverance  out  of 
every  trial.    I  had  much  rather  labour  under 
your  present  state  of  mind  for  a  season,  disa- 
greeable as  it  may  be ;  than  be  in  the  state  of 
them  who  glide  indifferently  through  religion 


(      188     ) 

atid  the  world,  without  finding  either  pleasure 
or  pain  in  the  former.  Too  many  of  this  sort 
have  1  met  with. 

I  never  saw  more  need  to  make  a  stand 
against  the  rapid  progress  of  formality  than 
at  present,  for  it  breaks  in  upon  the  Church 
of  God  hke  a  great  inundation,  and  has  alrea- 
dy deluged  '4  great  part  of  the  believing 
world  ;  happy  are  they  who  maintain  the  real 
power  of  Godliness,  though  they  follow  the 
redeemer  through  tribulations  darkest  night. 
I  trust  and  believe  this  is  your  case,  and 
would  be  glad  to  hear  you  enjoy  more  sen- 
sible satisfaction  in  the  good  ways  of  our  bles- 
sed Master.  Reflect  on  his  past  goodness  ; 
follow  him  to  the  garden,  behold  him  on  Cav-. 
vtry  mangled  and  torn  !  Contem.plate  on  fu- 
turity, and  consider,  "^//  that  height  of  gloria 
ous  bliss,  our  everlasting  portion  is;  ''  and  then 
I  think  you  will  joyfully  ^'praise  him  for  all 
that  is  past,  and  trust  him  for  what  is  to 
come, "...and  be  enabled  to  welcome  toil  or 
grief  or  pain,  saying  **all  is  well  for  Christ 
is  mine,'*  farewell  my  Dear  Sister,   may  the 


(     189      ) 

Lord  be  your  support... prays  your  truly  Af^ 
f''*:^tioiiate  Brother, 

JOHN  BRISTOL. 


LETTER  LXXXV. 

Ykr.  John  Goodwin.. .to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis. 

nristoly  March'15,  1778. 

MY  VERY  loEAK  SISTER. 

THOUGH  exceedingly  hurried  in  this 
large  city,  yet  I  cannot  suffer  our  Dear  father 
and  friend  (Mr.  Wesley)  to  pay  you  a  visit, 
without  sending  by  him  a  short  pledge  of  my 
continued  affection ;  wherever  this  veteran 
Apostle  goes  he  carries  and  leaves  a  blessing; 
may  his  visit  to  Ireland  and  particularly  t 
Dear  Limerick  be  as  profitable,  as  it  has  been 
at  this  time  to  Bristol.  Our  bands  both  pub- 
lic and  select  had  got  into  a  covered  way  of 
speaking ;  instead  of  openly  and  explicitly  de> 
clareing  what  God  had  done  for  their  souls, 
in  cleansing  them  from  all  sin  and  enabling 
them  to  love  the  Lord  their  God  with  all 
their  heart,  they  would  only  say  that  *'  God 
had  given  them  a  great  blessing,''  or  such 
like  general  expression,  which  was  in  fact 
saying  nothing  to  the  point,  and  often  stopped 


(     190     ) 

timed  preachers  from  sinking  deeper  into 
their  experience.  This  ambiguous  manner  of 
sj^eaking  (which  I  fear  has  not  been  confmed 
to  Bristol  only)  springs  either  from  World- 
ly prudence,  or  voluntary  humility ;  both  of 
which  are  hurtful  to  the  people  of  God. 
But  Mr.  Wesley's  reproof  advice  and  encour- 
agement, has  had  the  good  eficct  of  remov. 
ing  this  improper  shyness,  and  many  have 
declared  in  plain  words,  that  *'  God  hath  clean- 
sed them  from  all  unrighteousness,  and  filled 
them  with  perfect  love,''  some  that  I  know 
nothing  of  in  that  respect  'till  now,  and  by 
this  means,  the  work  of  God  seems  to  have.^ 
got  a  fresh  spur  in  this  city. 

As  for  my  o^vn  btate,  I  wish  every  one  that 
has  found  a  clean  heart,  would  beware  of  the 
reasonings  of  good  men,  and  also  of  their  own 
heart  on  this  point ;  devices  from  which  I 
have  greatly  suffered.  May  God  restore  to 
me  that  simplicity  which  once  I  did  enjoy ; 
I  clearly  see  nothing  else  will  make  me  hap- 
py. I  am  more  than  ever  convinced  that  it  is 
the  most  sim.ple  thing  in  the  world,  to  give 
the  whole  heart  unto  God ;  and  hence  it  is, 
that  it  i^  so  hard  a  thing!  Pride  utterly  oppc 


(  191  ) 

ses  this  simplicity,  pride  will  permit  us  to' 
reason  but  not  to  believe,  O  that  I  Avas  as  a 
little  child  before  the  Lord !  let  my  Dear 
i^  riend's  petitions  be  addedto  mine  for  this,... 
Your  Sincerely  Affectionate 

JOHN  GOODWIN. 


LETTER  LXXXVT. 

Mr.  Samuel  Bradburn...to   Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis 
Diihlin^  June  14,  \777^ 

MY  DEAR  MRS.  BENNIS. 

I  HOPE  your  soul  rejoices  in  the  pos- 
session of  the  mind  thatwas  in  Christ !  what  that 
mind  was  is  plain  from  Mathew  11  &  29 
and  Philip  2  &  5.  This  humble  mind  implies 
every  other  blessing ;  Loi)€^  the  very  soul  of  all 
religion,  can  never  be  obtained  or  kept  with- 
out this.  Faitb^  that  is  armour  upon  armour, 
cannot  possibly  subsist  without  this  blessed 
grace.  Hope^  that  anchor  of  the  soul,  would 
be  lost  in  hypocrisy,  or  banished  by  despair 
but  for  this  disposition  of  the  heart,  in  short 
Patience^  Resignatioriy  Contentment^  Peace^ 
Joy,  ^c,  would  all  be  empty  names  without  the 
mind  of  Qhv'i^t,,, Genuine  Humility  (that  is) 
1^  "proper  estimation  of  all  things"  or  in  other 


(      192     ) 

words  to  * 'Think  right,"  hence  the   Apostie 
'  In  patience  possess  your  souls, '^  or  (as  we 
may  render  it)  Thoughts,   of    God,    Angels. 
Saints,     Devils,    the  World,      Religion,    the 
Scriptures,   Heaven,  Hell,  Ou  r selves  &:c.&:c. 
I  was  going  to  proceed,  but  really  mentioning 
such   a  rich  variety  of    subjects    has   quite 
swallowed  up  my  soul  in  shame  and  astonish^ 
ment,  under  a  sense  of  my  own  Ignorance  I 
Surely  **I  am  more   brutish   than  any  man^ 
and  have  not  the  understanding  of  a  man"  yet 
blessed  be  my  God,  I  know  he  is  good,  I  feel 
my  heart  w^arm   with  his  divine  love,  while 
I  write  about  his  amazing,  incomprehensible 
glorious    Majesty  !  I  think   I  begin  to  hvae 
wisdom  enough  to  know  I  am  a  fool.   Glory 
to  God  I  am  not  lost  in  folly,  beyond  recpv^ 
ery !     Sometimes  I  am  tempted  to  think   I 
know  more  than  those  about  me,  but  alltliis 
vanisheth  away,  when  I  consider  things    ac-  ' 
cording  to  their  proper  nature.      I  think  upor 
the  whole,  I  find  more  faith,   love,   resigna- 
tion, patience   and  peace  of  mind  every  day,  i 
because  I  find  more  of  the  blessed  mind  of 
Christ.     O  that  I  may  ever  be  kept  at   the 


v         1^^3        ) 

foot  of  the  cross;  and  always  standing  in  aw^, 
that  I  sin  not !  I  plainly  see  the  worth  of  re- 
ligion is  not  known  to  most  of  its  professors, 
or  they  would  quickly  renounce  not  only  all 
the  errors  in  judgment  about  a  God  of  love, 
but  they  would  renounce  the  world  more,  and 
love  to  be  more  alone.  O  Sweet  retirement! 
there  is  no  possibility  of  prospering  without 
being  often  in  private  with  our  Heavenly  Fa- 
ther, and  as  much  as  in  us  lies  in  sweet  com- 
munion with  his  real  Children....!  am  Dear 
Mrs.   Bennis,  Your  Affectionate, 

SAMUEL  BRADBURN. 

P.  S.  Without  shewing  this  to  any  one 
whatsoever ;  I  particularly  request  your  honest 
deliberate  thoughts  on  the  following   queries. 

First.  Is  it  possible  for  God  to  be  Ornnh' 
cient,  absolutely  to  know  all  things  in  time  and 
eternity,  past,  present,  and  future ;  for  the 
doctrine  of  absolute  reprobation  (  or  Cahinism) 
not  to  be  true,  and  for  the  torments  of  Hell  to 
be  Eternal  ? 

Second.     If  it  is  impossible  for  all  these  to. 
be  true  together,  which  is  the  least  danger- 
ous to  deny  ? 

R 


(    i94    , 

Third.  Would  denying  one  of  diem,  in 
any  measure  invalidate  die  Scriptures,  make 
the  God  of  love  less  loving,  and  the  comforts 
of  religion  fewer  in  number,  or  smaller  in  na- 
ture ;  which  is  it  ? 

I  would  go  on,  but  I  spare  you,  it  will  not 
do  to  say  *' you  should  not  be  thinking  oi" 
these  things,"  It  is  no  new  subject,  nor  do 
I  ask  for  asking  sake.... Think  closely  upor 
each  of  these,  and  send  me  soon  the  result 
of  your  thoughts. 

LETTER  LXXXVII. 
Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis...to  Mr.  Samuel  Bradburn. 
Limerick^  June  22,  1777. 
MY    Dear  Brother  Bradburn  must  cer- 
tainly be   sensible  how  unequal  I  am  to  the 
task  he  imposes,  yet  nothing  will  do  but  the 
exposing    my    ignorance  to  a    friend    from 
whom  I  desire  not  to  hide  it. 

The  questions  you  propose  are  such  as  I 
think  have  never  yet  been  fully  answered. 
My  own  mind  has  been  often  puzzled  about 
these  very  points,  and  I  have  always  found  it  the 
safest  way  to  withdraw  my  mind  from  these 
sort  of  speculations ;  finding  them  too  deep  for 


'-♦•.»■ 
.>** 


me,   indeed  I  think  they  are  too  deep  for  the 
wisest  man  that  ever   lived.     Secret  things 
belong  to  God,  let  us  be   content  with  what 
lie  has  revealed,  and  not  exalt  our  little  nar- 
row measure  of  understanding  even  to  infini- 
ty,   here  we  only  discover  our  pride  and  ig- 
norance, when  to  bring   down  tlie  v^-ays  of 
^'Gotl '  to  our   little  comprehension,  we  form  in 
t)ur  minds  a  certain  system  of  laws,  which  we 
1  ink    together  according  to  our  own  concep- 
tions, and  then  proclaim  these  with  as  much 
confidence  as  if  we  had  received  them  ensj^ra- 
ven  on  tables  of  stone  by  the  finger  of  God  ! 
allowing  that  all  the  v/orld  may  err,  but  U'^ 
are  infallibly  right ;    what  sad  work  has  this 
sort  of  conceited    infallibility    made  in    the 
i?r world,  and   how  much  of  it  has  been  blended 
>fiin  all   controvercies,  and  it  is  to  be  lamented 
•'that  too  much  of  this  ;  subsists  even  amongst 
.the   dear   children  of  God.      j\:ay  the  Lord 
deliver  my  friend  and  me  from  it. 

On  giving  your  letter  another  reading,  I 

.  find  you  are  determined   not  to  take  what  I 

have    already    said  for  :rn  answer,  but!  must 

send  you  my  honest  deliberate  thoughts  on 

your  Queries. 


196 


P'irst.  (then,)  In  all  my  conceptions  of  God, 
his  ways  and  works,  I  have  concluded  that 
I  am  very  ignorant,  that  his  ways  are  very 
mysterious,  and  that  the  depths  of  his  eternal 
mind  Is  not  known  even  to  the  Angels  that 
attend  his  throne  ;  beyond  these  limits  I  never 
suffer  my  \houghts  to  wander.  I  certainly 
believe  God  perfect  in  every  attribute,  there- 
fore he  must  be  omniscient,  must  know  all 
thirigs  past,  present  and  future  ;  yet  we  must 
net  by  this  destroy  his  mercy;  He  has  fixed 
certain  laws  whereby  lie  go^'erns  the  world, 
and  the  greatest  reprobate  mustackiiov/iege 
them  Holy,  Just,  and  Good  ;  then  if  so,  they 
must  be  unalterable,  else  his  Justice  would  not 
be  perfect,  for  if  his  laws  were  dispensed 
with  from  a  respect  of  persons,  it  would  be 
Caprice  not  Justice,  I  also  think  he  has  made 
his  terms  so  easy  that  all  may  be  saved ;  I  be- 
lieve he  has  given  a  sufficient  measure  of  grace 
to  every  soul,  that  by  improving  it,  they  may 
be  saved ;  that  they  are  not  is  entirely  their 
own  fault ;  though  he  certainly  se^s  they  will 
not,  yet  this  foreknowlege  of  his  can- 
not be  imputed  as  the  cause,  no  more  than 
the  foreknowlege  of  the  prophets  can  be  the 


cause  oi'  the  evils  which   ihey  foresaw.     I 
certainly  think  he  wills  that  all  should  be  sa- 
ved, and  when  all   by  one  transgression  was 
ruined,  he  of  his  abundant  mercy  provided  a 
most  expensive  ransom  !  what  more  could  he 
have  done  ?    And  farther,  to  clear  his  justice 
he  has  provided  every  help  to  draw,  to  allure, 
to  invite  us  to  accept  the  offers  of  his  grace. 
But  some  may   say    **  he  knew  all  would  not 
accept  his  offered  grace,  and  as  he   knew  it, 
why  did  he  not  use  some  more  forcible  me- 
thods with  them"  ?  I  ihink  this  would  be  un- 
just ;  he  holds  out  to   them  the  same  offers, 
the  same  warnings,  the  same  invitations,  and 
equally  wills  their  salvation  ;  but  as  our  Lord 
complains,  '^  They  will   not  come  unto  him 
that  they  may  have  life".  From  all  these  con- 
siderations, I  believe  the  doctrine  of  reproba- 
tion unscriptural,   false  and  very  pernicious. 
Yet  there  are    many  particular  circumstances 
in  God's  manner  of  working,  \^  hich  indeed 
I  cannot  fathom,  and  which  looks  like  predes- 
tination,    these  are  often  very  mysterious  to 
mc;  and  I  think  should  be  let  alone  by  the  wi- 
sest until  finite  can  be  able  to  grasp  infinity. 
And  among  these,  are  the  eternity  of  the  tor- 
R    2 


(     19S     ) 

ments  of  Hell,  and  many  other  matters  which  I 
never  expect  to  know  in  this  life,  and  perhaps 
some  of  them  I  shall  not  know  to  all  eternity. 
You  ask,  *Mvhich  is  less  dangerous  to  be- 
lieve ?"  I  think  it  is  less  dangerous  to  believe 
him  a  God  of  universal  love  and  benevolence, 
as  he  has  declared  himself  in  his  word  ;  who 
desires  not  the  death  of  a  sinner,  but  is  wil- 
ling that  ^//should  repent  and  live.... These 
are  my  ^Mionest  deliberate  thoughts"  but 
should  I  suffer  my  mind  to  run  into  nice  rea- 
soning on  these  matters,  I  would  expect  to  b^ 
entivngled  in  labyrinths  of  my  own  making  ; 
for  I  have  ever  observed  in  the  ways  and 
works  of  God,  something  as  incomprehensi- 
ble to  me,  as  the  Deity  himself ;  and  indeed 
if  it  was  not  so,  he  would  not  be  God  !  for, 
what  sort  of  a  God  must  he  be  that  could  be 
comprehended  by  such  little  beings,  such 
groveling  insects,  who  cannot  comprehend 
the  smallest  insect  around  us. 

I  hope  my  Dear  Friend's  mind  is  not  puz- 
zled about  these  matters  ;  this  would  trouble 
me  very  much,though  I  should  be  apt  to  think 
it  was  but  justice  for  your  severity  towards 
^ose  who  hold  these  opinions,  which  I  often 


(      i99     ) 

thought  you  carried  too  far ;  I  am  certain 
there  are  many  souls  in  glory,  who  whilst 
here  held  these  opinions  j  and  I  really  believe 
there  are  many  now  on  earth  who  hold  them 
and  are  beloved  of  God  ;  then  if  he  bears  not 
only  patiently,  but  lovingly  with  them,  why 
should  not  we  ;  perhaps  their  opinions  are 
less  hurtftil  than  our  zeal  against  them.  May 
his  unerring  Spirit  set  us  all  right,  prays 
vour  truly  Affectionate  friend 

ELIZA  BENNIS. 


LETTER   LXXXVIII. 

Mr.  John  Stretton...to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis. 
jVewfoimd-land,  Carbonear^  October  29,  1 770. 
Dear  Madam, 

A  GRATEFUL  sense  of  your  kindness 
to  me  in  Waterford,  and  a  thankful  remem- 
brance of  the  Christian  Admonitions  you  then 
pressed  on  me,  I  trust  shall  never  be  eradica- 
ted from  my  heart ;  emboldened  by  these,  I 
take  the  liberty  of  acquainting  you,  with  my 
safe  landing  here,  my  present  situation  and 
Drosnects   ^scc.'^^'^"^"^'^"'^^^'^^^^'^^'''^^^^''^''^^^ 

Religion  is  scarce  to  be  found  in  this  coun« 
try,  a  few  professors  scattered  through  the 
different   Bays,   that  were  awakened  by  the 


(      200     ) 

labours  of  ISlr..Congblan,  who  keeps  up  meet- 
ings among  them  in  the  winter  season,  for 
that  is  the  only  time  they   have  to  spare. 

As  to  myself,  I  see  more  and  more  of  the 
wickedness  of  my  own  heart,  and  it  is  now  my 
constant  cry  to  have  the  polluted  fountain 
cleansed  ;  let  me  entreat  you  to  remember 
me  at  the  throne  of  grace,  for  I  fear  evil 
getting  the  ascendancy  over  my  best  resolu- 
tions. It  has  pleased  God  to  shake  me  over 
the  very  brink  of  the  grave  several  times, 
since  I  left  Ireland  ;  and  then  I  could  see  how 
unfit  I  was  to  appear  before  his  dread  tribu- 
nal. Once  I  narrowly  escaped  death  by  a  fall 
from  a  loft,  several  times  I  w^as  near  perish- 
ing in  the  great  deep,  having  been  tossed 
about  in  an  open  boat  for  some  hours  in 
a  heavy  gale  of  wind,  when  my  hope 
failed  me  and  I  could  only  cry  for  mercy. 
Oft  have  I  been  delivered,  and  yet  I  am  mi- 
thankful !  However  my  resolution  is  fixed 
to  turn  and  seek  him  who  can  speak  peace 
to  my  soul,  and  though  I  often  find  Sin  steal- 
ing on  me  unawares,  yet  hope  I  shall  be  de- 
livered from  it,  by  that  Almighty  arm  which 
restrained  me  from  diinking  down  iniquity 
like  wat^r. 


(     201      ) 

Requesting  a  letter  from  you  next  spring, 
and  wishing  you  every  happiness  in  time 
and  eternity,  I  am  Dear  Madam,  Yours 
most   Respectfully 

'   JOHN  STRETTON. 


LETTER  LXXXIX. 


Mr.  John  Str€tton...to  Mrs,  Eliza  Bennis, 
Newfound-hnd^  Harbour  Grace,  November  12,  l^fl. 

Dear  Madam, 

I  AM  truly  thankful  for  your  welcome 
letter,  and  shall  keep  it  as  a  precious  relic  ; 
your  plainness  I  esteem,  as  a  mark  of  your 
regard  'for  my  soul ;  but  must  observe  you 
have  mistaken  an  expression  in  mine  ;  I  can 
assure  you  I  never  wrote  it  with  design  to 
cover  myself  with  the  filthy  rags  of  my  own 
righteousness:  I  know  my  wickedness  too 
well  to  impose  such  a  covering  upon  myself, 
and  I  have  a  natural  something  within,  that 
scorns  to  act  the  hypocrite,  for  I  am  sure  I 
never  professed  myself  to  be  what  I  really 
was  not.  I  shall  now  act  sincerely, and  tell  you 
that  I  am  a  very  wicked  creature ;  that  I  have 
made  resolutions  both  in  Ireland  and  here, 
and  yet  have  broke    them   all;    T  would    wiK 


(      202      ) 

ijngly  hope  that  I  am  not  abandoned,  thougli 
I  find  it  hard  to  tear  that  Delila,  that  darhnfi; 
sin  from  me.  I  hate  sin,  and  yet  I  fall  into 
it,  is  that  consistent?  I  am  a  lump  of  incon- 
sistence !  and  sec  that  nothing  less  than  an 
Almighty  Arm  can  save  me  from  my  sins. 
May  the  blessed  Jesus  prove  that  he  is  Al- 
mighty to  save,  and  strong  to  deiivcr ;  mra 
he  pluck  me  as  a  brand  out  of  the  burning. 

If  I  am  not  too  bad  to  merit  one  thought 
of  yours,  let  me  request  you  sometimes  to 
think  of  the  poor  fugithe^  particularly  when 
you  address  the  throne  of  grace  ;  and  favour 
me  with  a  letter  next  Spring. 

I  am  Dear  Madam  &c. 
JOHN  STRETTON. 


LETTER  XC. 

Mr.  John  Stretton,..to  Mrs.    Eliza  Bennis. 
Harbour  Grace^  Noveinber  13,  1772. 
Dear  Madam, 

I  DO  indeed  sincerely  thank  you  foi 
your  very  kind  letter  of  last  spring,  it  has 
proved  a  cordial  to  my  drooping  spirits.  Last 
winter  I  met  constantly  in  the  mens'  ciass, 
which  Mr.  Coughlan  formed  in  this  place, 


(      203      ) 

4jnd  I  believe  was  earnest  in  my  search  after 
happiness  :  oft  have  I  been  affected  with  true 
contritiop.,  and  was  constant  in  my  attendance 
at  the  throne  of  Grace  ;  yet  still,  1  was,  I  am, 
but  an  *' almost  chrisliaii:"     You  will   ask 
the  cause  !  It  is  surely  in  me;  I  am  in  a  world 
of  huny,  confusion  and  noise  ;  and  it  requires 
more  Grace  than  I  have  yet  attained,  to  st^nd 
even    and    steady   upon    these    tumultuous 
3  business  encreased,  my  devotion 
■rg-jm  to  languish  ;  the  restless  busy  world, 
V  ouid  fain  engross  the  whole  heart.     Even 
!ini)   I  am    uneasy;  this  foolish  fluctuating 
vorld^  takes  up  too  much  of  my  thoughts  and 
desires,  and  either  flatters  with  delusive  shades, 
r  affrights  with  gloomy  apprehensions.     At 
lis  very  instant^  I  feel  the  powerful  influence 
A  melancholy  ^  and  can  hardly  collect  my  scat- 
tered thoughts  to  VvTite.      I  hope  God  will 
bi'ing  good  out  of  this  evil,  and  turn  my  re- 
flections to  a  proper  point,  O  may  it  end  in 
my  sound  conversion.      In  whatever  part  of 
die  world,  providence  may  see  fit  to  cast  my 
lot,  I  shall  ever  bear  a  grateful  remembrance 


(     204     ) 

ol  your  friendship,  and  entreat  a  continuance 
of  your  prayers  for  a  poor  wanderer. 

I  am  Dear  Madam  &c. 

JOHN  STRETTON. 


LETTER  XCI. 
Mr.   John  Stretton...to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis. 

Harbour  Grace,  November  14,  1773. 
Dear  Madam, 

A  SENSE  of  my  own  insignificance, 
makes  me  at  a  loss  to  answer  your  last  very 
kind  and  friendly  letter;   I  ask  myself,  *'  how 
can  this  servant  of  Christ  trouble  herself  with 
such  a  worthless  cumber  ground  ?"  Again,  I 
reason  thus  with  myself;     ''Art  thou  not 
ashamed  to  write  the  sincere  sentiments  of 
thy  heart  ?  Mrs.  Bennis    expects  that  thou 
canst  now  witness  a  good  confession,  and  art 
now  rejoicing  in  the  love  of  God,  and  wilt 
thou  undeceive  her  ?    if  thou  dost,   she  will 
look  upon  thee  as  a  profligate  wretch  unwor- 
thy her  regard"....!  start  at  the  supposition!  I 
would  not  be  despised,  though  I  deserve  it. 
At  this  instant  my  respect  for  you  is  so  great, 
and  the  contempt  I  feel  for  myself  so  predo- 
minant, that  I  am  apprehensive  you  will  not 


(     205     ) 

trouble  yourself  to  write  me  another  letter  ; 
the  thought  is  painful,  for  I  have  found  your 
letters  so  useful,  that  I  dread  the  loss  of  them: 
however  I  hope,  I  shall  now  and  at  all  times, 
act  consistent  with  truth  and  honest  plainness, 
let  what  will  be  the  consequence....!  have  to 
say  of  myself  that  I  often  feel  the  want  of  a 
Saviour ;  and  am  clearly  convinced  that  1 
cannot  be  happy,  until  Jesus  the  Lord,  saves 
me  from  the  guilt  and  the  power  of  sin.  I 
am  often  ready  to  lay  hold  on  the  promise, 
to  take  it  as  my  own  ;  but  I  want  a  power 
to  l^elieve.  Blessed  Jesus,  thou  canst  give 
the  power,  thou  only  canst  open  the  eyes  of 
I  the  blindy  thou  canst  remove  this  Egyptian 
i  darkness,  canst  break  this  cursed  barr  of 
unbelief  and  turn  my  Hell  to  Heaven. 

My  Dear  friend  do  not  cease  to  pray  for 
me,  pray  even  7io'w^  that  I  might  receive  my 
sight. 

I  return  you  my  sincere  thanks  for  your 
delicate  manner  in  disclosing  the  death  of 
my  Dear  M  other  ;  and  for  your  wholesome 
advice,  and  all  your  kind  admonitions,  may 
the  Lord  bless  you.,..T  have  now  to  inform 
vou,  that  I  have  married  a  native  of  this  land 
S 


(   206    ; 

since  I  wrote  last^  she  is  blessed  with  many 
aGComplishments,  that  would  even  grace  an 
European  ;  but  the  chief  is,  that  she  fears 
God,  and  walks  in  his  ways. 

After  all,  I  find  that  no  creature  or  created 
thing  can  make  me  happy :  nor  can  I  rest 
short  of  an  interest,  in  that  B hod  which  cl^an- 
seth  from  all  sin.... I  hope  this  will  find  you 
in  perfect  peace,  and  all  around  you  happy ; 
may  a  long  continuance  of  spiritual  and  tem- 
poral blessings  united,  be  your  lot,  is  the 
imaffected  wish,  of  Dear  Madam  Your  real 
friend, 

JOHN  STRETTON. 


LETTER  XCII. 
Mr.  John  Strctton.  .'o  IVirs.  Eliza  Bennis 

Harborgrace^   November  4,  17  7 A. 
Mydearmrs.  bennis. 

THIS  moment  I  feel  my  heart  glow 
with  affection  to  you ;  I  have  just  now  read 
your  welcome  letter,  and  do  sincerely  thank 
you  for  it :  your  directions,  with  respect 
to  married  people,  is  exactly  consistent  with 
my  sentiments,  and  I  lK)pe  God  will  en- 
able me  to  follow  them.... You  obseiTe  th^t 


(     207     ) 

I  am  naturally  aspiring,  and  you  shew  the 
consequences  of  applying  or  misapplying  this 
disposition  :  I  have  indeed  thirsted  after  fame, 
fortune,  pleasure;  owned  they  were  empty 
shadows  ;  and  yet  could  not  refrain  from  pur- 
suing them  :  but  blessed  be  God,  the  rapid 
stream  is  in  a  measure  turned ;  now,  I  think 
that  I  thirst  only  for  the  ^^  fountain  oflhing 
Water, '^^  I  believe  I  was  never  in  earnest 
about  the  salvation  of  my  soul,  until  the  last 
winter;  then  it  pleased  God  to  lay  a  slight 
sickness  on  me,  and  at  the  same  time  to 
open  my  eyes  to  the  danger  I  was  in  :  the 
terrors  of  Dcruh  j^ot  lioIU  upou  me  I  I  appre- 
hended I  was  near  my  end,  my  fears  were 
alarmed  !  I  dare  not  look  death  in  the  face  ! 
my  conscience  accused  me  of  all  the  evils  I 
had  committed,  against  light,  against  myself^ 
my  neighbour  and  my  God  ;  O  what  would 
-I  then  give  for  an  interest  in  Jesus  ;  but  tho' 
I  prayed  earnestly,  I  found  my  heart  as  ada^ 
mant ;  I  feared,  I  trembled,  but  could  not 
weep,  believe,  or  love.  Then,  Then,  I  saw 
that  faith  was  the  gift  of  God;  and  that  he 
might  justly  withdraw  it  from  me,  who  had 
so  often   sinned  with    my  eyes    open;   and 


(     208     ) 

grieved  his  Holy  Spirit  :...at  last  my  spirit 
became  somewhat  composed,  and  my  health 
returned.  When  I  got  up,  my  heart  was 
bowed  down,  and  oppressed  with  a  guilty 
load  ;  I  took  the  bible,  and  the  first  place  I 
opened  was,  the  53d.  chapter  of  Isaiah  ;  I 
read,  and  immediately  felt  my  heart  softened, 
I  continued  to  read  until  I  came  to  that  glori- 
ous invitation,  ''  Ho  every  one  that  thirsteth, 
come  ye  to  the  waters ;  and  he  that  hath  no 
money,  come  ye,  buy  and  eat ;  yea,  come, 
buy  wine  and  n-ilk,  rjhhout  money ^  and  'ivith- 
out  price.^*  Tlien  I  broke  out  involuntarily. 
Into  a  refreshing  flood  of  tears ;  I  read,  and 
^vept,  and  prayed  by  turns,  and  thought  I 
had  faith  to  lay  hold  on  the  promise  ;  I  felt 
that  I  loved  Jesus,  I  saw  that  he  was  willing 
to  be  reconciled  to  irje,  and  yet  some  strange 
doubt  interposed,  and  I  did  not  believe  that  I 
was  yet  savingly  converted  ;...Idared  not  pre- 
sume to  say,  that  *'  God  bad  forgiven  all  my 
sins,"  this  is  staggering  at  the  promise  through 
unbelief....!  have  been  struggling  with  this 
unbelief  all  the  summer,  sometimes  I  find 
Any  heart  enlarged,  and  I  can  love  God,  and 
the  verv  name  of  Jesus ;   can  love  liis   chi^- 


(     209     ) 

^ren  unfeignedly,  can  even  love  my  enemies  : 
again  I  find  a  hard  heart,  unworthy  thoughts 
of  my  Redeemer   &c.  :  then  again  these  are 
dispersed,  and  I  feel  a  kind  aftection  for  him 
return,     This  is  as  nearly  as  I  can  describe 
the  state  of  my  soul.     I  hope,    and   believe 
that  God  v^ill  soon  disperse  the  mists.  Shine 
upon  my  soul,  and  clear  up  my  evidence  for 
Heaven  :   Amen,  even  so,  come  Lord  Jesus, 
come  quickly  !... Though  I  meet  with  many 
trials  in  life,   feel  a  great  deal  of  perplexity 
in  and  from  my  business,    and  find  it  hard 
to  get  forward    with  my  worldly  concerns  ; 
yet  blessed  be  God,  I  sit  in  a  measure  loose 
to  the  world,    and  am  resolved  it  shall  not 
have  all  my  heart :  O  cease  not  to  pray  for 
your  affectionate  friend  : 

JOHN  STRETTON, 


lettji:r  xciii. 

Mr.  John  Stretton...to  Mrs  Eliza  Bennis. 

Harbour gr ace ^  November  14,  17/'5- 

MY  VERY  L>EAR  MRS.  BENNIS. 

YOU  desire    to  know,    who  preaches 
here,  since  Mr.  Coughlan's  departure  :  I  shall 
give  you  a  short  account,  of  the  state  of  the 
S  2 


(     ^^0     ) 

Church.... After   Mr.    Coughlan's   saUing  for 
Europe,  the  Justices    (his  avowed   enemies) 
took  upon  them  to  read  prayers  in  the  Church, 
and  laboured  with  all  their  might,  to  mtro- 
duce  the  dullest  formality  in  the  room  of  the 
pure  gospel,  which  he   had  preached  ;  and 
partly  succeeded  therein  ;   those  that  had  re- 
ceived the  truth  under  him  used  to  meet  as 
a  class,  in  the  Church  on  Sabbath  evenings ; 
but  now  iheir  Worships  would  ilot  suffer  it. 
Mr.    Arthur   Thomey,(a   respectable    mer- 
chant, who   was  converted   under    Mr.   C.) 
Ciud  I,  being  disgusted  with  this  mode  of  ac- 
tion in  the  Justises ;  resolved  to  oppose  the 
torrent  of  iniquity  ;  we  gathered  a  few  togath- 
er,   who  we  believe  loved    the  Lord  Jesus ; 
and   found  amongst   them,   a  pcor  illiterate 
fisherman, that  was  not  ashamed  of  his  Heaven- 
ly master  ;    who  boldly  stood  up,  and  spoke 
in  his  n'ime ;  him  we    constantly   attend  to 
hear  :...Mr,  Thomey  also  exhorts,  and  is  en- 
dowed   with   both  gifts   and   grace ;   this   is 
done  from  house  to  house.     We  have  joined 
ourselves  into  a  society,  and  have  drawn  up 
rules  as  like  Mr.  Wesley  as  we  could,  con- 
sistent v/ith  local  circumstances,  our  num- 


(  iili  ) 

ber  about  thirty,  who  I  believe  are  bincere 
in  heart. 

At  Carbonear  about  three  miles  from  this ; 
the  people  attend  to  hear  a  Mr.  Pottle,  who 
also  received  the  truth  under  Mr.  Coughlan  : 
he  reads  prayers  and  expounds  to  them  :  but 
these  have  not  yet  formed  themselves  into  a 
society  :  though  some  of  them  meet  as  a 
class,  and  are  sincere  followers  of  the  Lamb. 

Last  October,  a  minister  came  to  reside 
in  Harbour  Grace,  in  the  room  of  Mr.  Cough- 
lan ;  he  was  sent  by  the  ''  Society  lor  propo- 
gating  Christian  knowlege,"  to  Trinity  bay, 
about  fourteen  years  since ;  and  in  all  that 
time,  there  has  not  one  soul,  been  awakened 
under  him :  I  much  fear  the  consequence 
of  his  coming  here  :  He  is  a  man  of  letters 
but  oh  !  he  is  blind  :  though  our  society  now 
attend  his  preaching,  and  received  the  Sacra- 
ment at  his  hands  last  Sunday ;  yet  we 
continue  to  meet  as  before,  following  Mr. 
Wesley,  in  ail  things  as  near  as  we  can.  This 
is  the  state  of  the  Church,  in  this  wilderness  ; 
(and  this  is  the  only  part  of  New-foundland 
where  the  truth  has  yet  been  received.)  I 
shall  now  say  something  of  myself  j  and  to 


(     212     ) 

be  circumstantial,  must  inform  you,  that 
our  Society  celebrated  last  Christmas  day 
as  the  methodistsdo  in  Europe;  (it  was  the 
first  time  of  our  drawing  up  rules.)  In  the 
morning  before  day,  we  sung  the  Nativity 
Hymns  &c.  and  at  night  had  a  love  feast :  I 
gave  out  and  raised  the  hymns  :  all  the  day 
my  mind  was  agitated,  and  my  body  disor- 
dered ;  in  the  evening  I  grew  very  sick,  and 
the  distress  upon  my  mind  encreased :  I  was 
tempted  to  go  to  bed  ;  however,  I  resolved 
if  possible,  to  go  through  with  the  love 
feast ;  just  before  we  began  I  went  to  prayer 
alone,  darkness  overwhelmed  my  soul ;  yet 
in  the  midst  I  said,  if  I  die,  or  if  I  perish, 
better  perish  thus  crying  for  mercy.  I  went, 
and  began  with  the  first  of  Mr.  Wesley's  love 
feast  hymns  ;  no  sooner  had  I  given  out  the 
first  lines,  viz. 

"  Come,  ami  let  us  sweetly  join, 
"  Christ  to  praise  in  hymns  divine.*' 

and  mentioned  the  sacred  name  of  Christ ; 
but  my  heart  glowed  with  affection  :  I  burst 
out  into  tears,  and  continued  with  flowing 
eyes,  to  give  out  and  sing  the  rest  of  the 
hymn;  until  I  came  to  these  lines  ; 


(     213     j 

••  Christ  huth  burst  the  bands  of  Death  ! 
"  We  his  quick'ning-  spirit  breath ." 

then,  O  then  I  was  so  overpowered,  that.  I 
could  neither  give  out  nor  sing  any  more  : 
I  felt  all  the  force  of  the  expression  ;  I  then 
that  moment  felt,  that  he  had  burst  the  bands 
of  Death  in  my  soul;  and  that  I  did  then 
breath  his  quick'ning  spirit:  all  present  were 
greatly  affected  ;  and  a  backslider  that  night 
professed  to  have  found  with  me,  the  quick- 
ning  influence  of  the  spirit  of  our  Lord  :  this 
was  a  night  much  to  be  remembered  ;  Jesus 
sprinkled  my  soul,  with  his  precious  blood  ; 
and  the  destroying  Attgel  had  no  power  to 
hurt :  I  went  to  bed  veiy  much  disordered 
in  body,  but  my  mind  calm  :  but  immediate- 
ly I  began  to  doubt ;  I  could  not  believe  that 
this  was  true  faith  ;  now  I  was  left  in  dark- 
ness again ;  I  knew  not  what  to  do,  at  last 
I  concluded  that  as  I  could  not  believe,  I  was 
one  of  the  fearful,  that  are  mentioned  in  the 
Revelations,  to  be  without  the  New-Jerusa- 
lem: I  told  my  fears  to  my  friend  Thomey,  he 
said  my  thoughts  were  false  and  vain ;  and 
asserted  that  the  fearful  above  mentioned, 
were  those  who  were  afraid  of  Man,  and  asham- 


(   214   } 

cd  of  Jesus  ;  yet  I  could  not  believe,  until 
he  proved  his  assertion,  by  the  Notes  of  Mr. 
Wesley,  and  others  en  the  text :  now  my 
doubts  vanished,  light  broke  in  again  upon 
my  soul,  his  words  were  like  dew  ;  blessed 
be  God,  I  yet  find  Jesus  precious  to  my  soul ; 
when  I  find  I  iove  him^  it  is  an  evidence  to 
me  of  my  acceptance.  As  to  temporals^ 
I  have  gone  through  the  furnace  this  summer; 
but  I  believe  God  will  bring  me  out  of  ail  my 
troubles :  I  greatly  approve  of  the  Journal 
you  recommend  me  to  keep,  and  think  noiv 
to  begin  it :  Lord  help  me,  I  am  a  poor  un- 
faithful creature,  and  have  a  poor  stock  of 
experience  to  begin  with.  I  note  every  part 
of  your  letter,  and  particularly  request  you  to 
write  me  a  long  and  plain  one,  next  spring 
your  letters  are  always  useful  and  welcome 
to  your  truly  Affectionate  Friend, 

JOHN  STRETTON. 


LKTTER  XCIV. 
Mr.  John  Stretton.,..to  Mrs.  Mliza  Bennis. 
Harbour  GracCy  November  8,  1776. 

MY    DEAR    SISTER   BENNIS. 

-DO  you  think  me  worthy  ofbein^j  call 


C     ^15      ) 

ed  a  Brother,  in  the  best  of  bonds  ?  I  cannot 
think  myself  wordiy  of  such  an  honourable 
appellation  even  at  present ;  for  O  how  litde 
of  the  mind  that  was  in  Christ  is  found  in  me; 
and  when  God  is  pleased  to  give  me  a  sense 
of  my  heart,  I  find  it  still  a  cage  of  unclean 
birds :  I  know  and  feel,  that  my  work  is  not 
done  now,  that  I  am  enabled  to  believe  :  I 
have  a  w  hole  carnal  mind,  that  is  enmity  itself 
to  subdue  ;  and  there  are  spiritual  wickedness 
in  high  places  to  be  overcome  ;  who  is  suffi- 
cient for  these  things  ?  none  but  Christ ;  he 
conquered  for  fne,  and  I  trust  he  will  con- 
quer in  me  too ;  until  all  his  enemies  and 
mine  are  destroyed :  The  enemy  of  souls 
has  often  assaulted  me,  since  I  have  tasted 
that  the  Lord  is  gracious,  but  blessed  be  God 
for  free  grace ;  my  Jesus  saved  me  when  I 
could  not  save  myself ;  I  know  sometimes 
that  I  love  him,  and  I  desire  to  do  his  will ; 
but  when  I  do  not  feel  this  flame  in  my  heart, 
and  clouds  and  darkness  rest  upon  my  soul ; 
yet  still  my  desire  is  towards  i?iw;  for  without 
kis presence^  I  cannot  take  delight  in  any  cre- 
ated good.  This  in  short  is  the  general 
course  of  my  experience,  the  last  year;  last 
Christmas  I  began  to  exhort  amongst  our 


(     S16     ) 

little  society,  very  unwillingly ;  for  it  was  re 
duced  to  this  alternative,  either  for  me  to  un- 
dertake the  superintendance,  or  see  the  Soci- 
ety decay  ;   then  I  thought  myself  called  in 
the  order  of  providence  to  do  what  I  could  ; 
but  still   I  am  not  persuaded,  that  I  am  call- 
ed of  God  to  preach  his  word ;  and   should 
be  glad  if  some  person  more  worthy,  and  fit- 
ter for  the  work,  was  here  to  keept  hese  few 
sheep  together,  and  do  them  good  ;  the  reason 
I  have  to  think  so  is  this ;  there  has  not  one 
soul  been  awakened  by  my  speaking,  that  I 
know  of,   now  near   a  year;    I  ventured    to 
speak  in  public  to  a  number  of  people  almost 
savage,   in  the  upper  part  of  this  bay,  where 
business    called    me  this    summer ;    but  I 
know  not    that    any  good    was  done ;  now 
I  greatly  fear  being  one  of  those  that  run, 
when  they  are  not  sent ;  yet  if  I  know  myself 
I  think  that  in  this  I  seek  not  my  own  glory 
and  I  fear  to  decline  acting  thus,  least  1  should 
offend  God  and  bring  guilt  upon  my  own  soul. 
My  Dear  Sister  pray  earnestly  for  me,  that  I 
may  persevere  unto  the  end. 

I  assure  you  this  is  a  trying  countr}-,  and 
I  believe  as  perplexing  a  business  as  any  in 


(   2ir  ) 

the  world  ;  yet,  there  was  one  month  this  year, 
when  I  was  engaged  in  the  most  complicated 
parts  of  it ;  and  (O  amazing  mercy  and  un- 
bounded grace  !)  I  never  enjoyed  a  more  calm 
serenity  in  my  life  ;  therefore  I  conclude  that 
no  outward  thing  can  effect  the  soul;  if  it  keeps 
close  to  Christ:  I  wish  I  did  so  always.  Lord 
help  me  I  am  a  strange  inconsistent  creature ! 
Would  you  think  well,  to  consult  Mr.  Wes- 
ley  about  my  doubts  of  being  called  to  speak 
in  public  ;  and  let  me  have  his  opinion  thro* 
you.  May  the  Lord  Jesus,  the  good  Shep- 
herd of  the  Sheep,  keep  you  safe  to  the  Day 
of  Eternity  ;  prays  your  affectionate  Brother, 
JOHN  STRETTON. 


LETTER   XCV. 

Mrs.   Eliza  Bennis...to  Mr  John  Stretton. 

Limerick,  March  22,  1777 • 
Dear  Brother  Stretton, 
MAY  he  who  has  called  you  by  his  grace, 
to  the  great  work  wherein  you  are  engaged, 
still  keep  you  and  make  you  faithful  in  your 
calling ;  your  unfitness  is  no  barr  in  his  way 
who  can  send  by  whom  he  will ;  and  general- 
ly chooses  foolish  and  base  instruments,  that 


(     218     ) 

his  power  and  grace  may  be  manifest  to  all : 
Blessed  be  God  that  he  does  give  you  to  feel 
your  poverty,  you  have  need  of  it,  how  oft 
would  you  have  fallen  through  the  pride  of 
your  ov/n  heart,  if  you  had  not  this  view  of 
yourself;  how  gracious  is  it  then,  to  keep 
us  within  sight  of  ourselves,  that  we  may  be 
equally  ballanced  ;  and  by  feeling  our  neces- 
sities be  led  to  look  for  help  where  only  it 
is  to  be  found  ;  by  our  own  experience,  and 
that  of  others,  we  may  notice,  whatever  bles- 
sing God  is  willing  to  bestow,  he  first  gives 
lis  to  feel  the  want  of;  he  deals  tenderly ;  does 
not  break  our  spirits  by  discovering  to  us  all  at 
once  the  w^hole  hateful  picture  of  our  heart ; 
but  by  little  and  little  as  we  are  able  to  bear 
and  with  this  view  points  out  to  us  the  remedy 
also  ;  like  the  discovery  of  a  rich  mine, 
which  though  stored  with  inestimable  trea- 
sure, yet  requires  labour  to  put  us  into  the 
possession  of  it,  we  must  dig  before  we  reach 
the  pearl;  and  if  we  would  carry  on  the  illu- 
sion, suppose  to  yourself  a  poor  Beggar,  hav- 
ing a  discovery  made  to  him  of  hid  treasure; 
who  instead  of  immediately  exerting  himself 
to  dig  and  be  rich,  sits  down  on  the  spot  to 


(     219     ) 

weep  for  his  poverty ;  what  would  you  say  to 
such  ?  would  you  not  upbraid  him  for   his 
folly  ?  and  bid  him  arise  and  seize  the  oppor- 
tunity put  into    his  hands. ...but  suppose  this 
man  instead  of  doing  so,  still  pleads  his  pover- 
ty  as  an  excuse  for  his  indolence ;  sits  still 
and   contents   himself,  with  discovering  the 
treasure  to  every    passenger  w^ho  goes  by  : 
Need  I  make   the  application  ?  does  not  your 
own  heart  prevent  me  ?   what  hinders  your 
deliverance  ?    the    Lord  has  given  you  to  feel 
your   need,  to  feci  the  bitterness  of  sin  ;  and 
has  also  discovered  to  you  the  remedy,  then 
what    hinders  ?    will  you   plead  your   pov- 
erty  ?    v/hy   this  is    the  very    thing  should 
drive  you  forward  ;    the  good  physician  came 
not  to  heal  the  whole,  but  to  cure  the  sick 
of  every  malady  ;  O  come  taste,  and  sec,  how 
good   he   is  !  do  not  be  content  with  recom- 
mending the  blessing  to  others,  this  is  holding 
the  door  open   to  all  to  pass   through   but 
yourself;   the   Lord    bids  you  come,  he  asks 
!**  JVilt  thou  be  made  w/W^''  O  let  all  excuses 
J  laid  aside,  and  venture  your  iv bole  soul  on 
[his  atoning  blood  ;  trust  him,  prove  him  and 
^  ^u  shall  find  hinrall  that  he  haspromisedto  be. 


(     220     ) 

1  forget  that  I  am  writing  to  a  Preacher ^ 
from  whom  I  should  receive  instruction ;  the 
earnestness  of  my  soul  for  you,  carries  me  be- 
yond my  limits  ;  I  shall  make  no  other  apo- 
logy than  that  I  love  your  soul,  and  would 
have  you  as  happy  as  God  can  make  you  :  O 
may  he  remove  every  hindrance,  and  that  his 
hand  may  not  be  stayed,  see  that  you  be  a  fel- 
low worker  together  with  him,  lop  off  every 
thing  that  might  be  a  hindrance  to  his  work 
on  your  heart ;  let  nothing  be  too  1  ittle  or  too 
great  to  part  withj  often  very  small  things  lj» 
hinder,  because  we  are  apt  to  hug  these  to  our 
bosom,  thinking  that  God  v/ill  not  dispute 
with  us  for  such  a  triPx  ;  and  though  his  spi- 
rit reproves  for  it,  yet  we  pass  it  by  ;  still 
thinking  that  it  is  too  small  to  be  sin  :....But 
my  Dear  friend,  be  honest  and  ingenuous 
with  God :  search  your  own  heart,  and  be 
jviiling  that  God  should  see  it  all,  and  point 
out  every  lurking  evil ;  and  see  that  you  on 
every  such  discovery,  cut  ofi  the  right  hand  : 
remember  that  "  Flesh  and  blood  cannot  enter 
the  Kino-dom  of  Heaven."  If  we  will  follow 
Christ,  we  must  deny  ourselves,  and  take  up'; 
our  Cross,  and  follow  him  manfully ;  else  he 


(     221      ) 

will  not  receive  us ;  the  indulging  the  flesh 
in  Meat,  Drink,  Sleep,  Indolence  or  pleasure, 
will  as  efFectually  damn  the  soul,  as  open  sin. 
God  has  given  us  a  clear  light  to  walk  by ; 
and  he  expects  from  us  in  proportion  to  what 
,  we  have  received  ;  May  the  Lord  help  us  to 
consider  our  calling,  and  to  walk  wisely  and 
surely  before  him  :  and  to  this  end  what  great 
need  have  we  of  watchfulness  ! 

INliglit  not  the  Devil  himself  be  our  exam- 
ple in  this  ?  he  watches  continually,  and  often 
finds  us  sleeping,  and  never  fails  to  avail  him- 
self of  our  indolence :  O  then  be  watchful,  be 
humble  ;  consider  you  have  nothing  that  you 
:  have  not    received;   and    what  talents    you 
•  have,  were  given  you  for  the    good  of  ot-.crs  ; 
use  them  as  his  property  who  bestowed  them, 
not  your  own  ;  being  assured   that  you  must 
render  a  strict  account  to  your  master,  and 
y  theirs  for   whose  use  they  were  given.     Be- 
,  ware  how  you  desist  from  your  labour ;  the 
Lord  has  called  you  to  work  in  his  vineyard, 
wait  then  until  he  is  pleased  to  dismiss  you  ; 
but  if  you  are  self-willed,  and  will  go  before 
you  make  out  your  days  work,  you  are  not 
entitled  to  your  penny ;   but   may  flill  under 
T  2 


(     222     ) 

the  condemnation  of  the  slothful  servant,  ^vho 
hid  his  Lords  money  ;  rather  give  cheerfully, 
what  the  Lord  has  given  graciously  to  you ; 
if  it  be  much,  it  is  not  yours  ;  if  k  be  little, 
he  is  able  to  encrease  it ;  leave  that  matter  to 
him.  Cast  your  mite  into  his  treasury,  and 
let  him  dispose  of  it  as  he  sees  fit.  I  am  my 
Dear  Friend's  sincerely  Affectionate, 

ELIZA  BENNIS. 


LETTER   XCVI. 

Mr.  John  Stretton...to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis, 
Harbour gr ace ^  June ^  30,  1777. 
I  THANK  my  very  Dear  Sister  Ben- 
nis,  for  your  sweet  letter  of  last  March ;  I 
gladly  embrace  the  present  uncommon  oppor- 
tunity  to  write,  and  do  most  earnestly  beg  a 
letter  from  you  immediately^  as  the  ship  re- 
turns without  making  much  delay  in  Ireland. 

It  is  the  desire  of  my  heart,  to  attain  to 
that  perfect  love,  you  have  so  well  described 
in  your  letter,  but  yet  how  far  short  of  it  do 
I  come !  surely  you  must  have  experienced 
what  you  wrote,  else  your  arguments  could 
not  be  so  conclusive  ;  if  you  think  me  wor- 
thy, let  me  know  ;  I  humbly  hope  it  would 


not  he  ^^  casting  pearls  before  swirie^^  ;  1 
agree  with  you  in  sentiment,  and  do  believe 
this  perfection  attainable ;  for  our  God  is  Al- 
mighty to  save,  and  strong  to  deliver ;  and  I 
doubt  not  his  willingness  to  save  to  the  utter^ 
most,  them  that  come  to  him  :  your  letter  has 
cleared  up  some  doubts,  and  cast  a  light  up- 
on this  subject ;  nmch  more  than  many  hours 
reading.  Blessed  be  God  for  the  least  mea- 
sure of  his  light,  and  I  desire  to  bless  his 
holy  name,  for  bringing  me  acquainted  with 
you. 

You  say  you  know  I  need  not  instruction 
from  you  ;  Indeed,  my  Dear  Sister,  you 
would  not  speak  thus,  if  you  knew  me  as  well 
as  I  know  myself;  for  after  all  my  reading 
(which  I  am  very  fond  of,)  I  find  myself 
amazingly  ignorant  of  spiritual  things  ;  and 
greatly  feel  the  want  of  Christian  converse ; 
for  the  professors  here,  (except  a  few  which 
are  dispersed)  are  very  ignorant,  and  unfit 
to  keep  up  a  conversation  of  any  kind  ;  there- 
fore let  me  have  in  your  next,  and  always  as 
much  of  that  sweet  earnestness  of  heart,  for 
my  spiritual  welfare,  as  you  can  possibly  ex- 
press ;  for  I  feel  every  line.   With  respect  to 


ii24       ; 

my  experience,  1  liave  to  say,  that  I.  ofteii 
find  Jesus  Christ  precious  to  my  soul,  and 
when  it  is  not  so  I  am  unhappy  ;  ^^'hen  I  feel 
His  Love  every  thing  pleases;  when  he  is 
gone,  the  whole  word  is  a  wilderness ; 
and  Oh  my  Dear  Sister !  you  can  hardly 
think  what  barrenness,  doubts,  fears,  sins, 
perplexities,  and  evil  tempers  I  have  to  grap- 
ple with  ;  so  that  I  sometimes  think,  nobody 
is  so  violently  assaulted  as  I  am.  Sometimes, 
with  all  these  upon  me,  I  am  obliged  to  stand 
up  in  public  to  speak  for  God  ;  and  often  find 
that  my  adorable  master  drives  them  a\\;ay, 
cease  not  pray  that  my  faith  fail  not,  and  that 
my  labour  be  not  in  vain,  in  the  Winter 
season,  we  have  public  preaching  three  times 
a  week,  from  house  to  house  in  the  evenings  ; 
(not  having  yet  any  meeting  house)  and  in 
this^  I  often  have  the  cross  to  take  up  ;  being 
so  situated,  that  I  must  cross  an  arm  of  the 
sea  for  this  purpose  after  night ;  which  in  this 
country,  at  that  season  is  very  dangerous  and 
disagreeable  ;  however  I  have  found  that  my 
God  is  all-sufficient... In  Summer  our  meet- 
ings can  be  only  on  Sundays  ;  as  the  fishing 
business  in  which  all  here  are  employed  pre- 


(     225     ) 

vents  meeting  during  the  week ;  not  giving 
sufficient  time  for  necessary  sleep  and  food  : 
however  through  many  difficulties  and  dis- 
couragements, all  that  first  joined  in  Society 
keep  up  together  ;  and  one  only  has  been  ad- 
ded :  I  cannot- omit  mentioning  here,  a  sweet 
youth,  of  eighteen  years  old,  (who  made  no 
profession)  in  a  sudden  violent  distemper 
went  to  Heaven  last  March  ;  leaving  a  clear 
testimony,  of  his  dying  in  the  Lord:  last 
Winter  I  travelled  over  land,  in  this  desolate 
country,  about  twenty-four  miks :  to  a  har- 
bour that  never  heard  the  joyful  sound ;  but 
my  labour  seemed  in  vain ;  the  people  there, 
but  a  remove  from  savage ;  yet  I  have  since 
lelt,  as  if  God  would  bless  the  seed  then 
sown. 

Last  spring  Brother  Thomey  and  I,  went 
to  St.  Johns,  which  lies  about  fourteen  leagues 
from  us ;  and  there  found  Brethren  ;  one  of 
whom  preaches  ;  the  society  only  eight  per- 
sons, very  poor ;  and  yet  they  have  built  a 
neat  little  meeting  house  I  to  the  admiration 
©f  even  the  reprobate  world  ;  we  tarried  with 
them  a  few  days;  they  are  Calvinists,  but 
have  the  genuine  mark  of  love  ;   and  where- 


(     22G     ) 

ever  that  is  met  with,    we  should  joyful!) 
give  the  right  hand  of  fellowship  ] 

"  Let  names  nnd  sects  and  parties  fall, 
"  And  Jesus  Christ  be  all  in  all." 

Farewell  my  Dear  Mrs.  Bennis,  may  the 
Lord  be  your  God  in  time  and  Eternity  : 
prays  your  weak,  and  unworthy  Brother  in 
Christ. 

JOHN  STRETTON. 


LETTER  XCViL 
Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis... to  Mr  John  Stretton. 

Limerick^  Julij  24-,  1777 • 

I  YESTERDAY  received  my  dear 
Brother  Stretton's  welcome  favour,  of  last 
month  ;  and  from  a  desire  of  giving  you  all 
the  satisfaction  in  my  power,  take  the  earli- 
est opportunity  of  answering  it  :...If  my  last 
has  been  in  any  wise  blessed  to  your  soul, 
my  end  is  answered ;  let  the  praise  be  given 
where  only  it  is  due,  not  to  the  instrument, 
but  to  the  hand  which  conducts  it :...!  thank 
our  gracious  Lord  on  your  behalf,  I  do  find 
you  bound  on  my  heart  before  the  throne  of 
grace  :... Blessed  be  God  that  you  do  feel  it 
the  desire  of  your  heart,  to  attain  to  that  per- 
fect love,  which  is  the  privilege  of  the    r\\\\. 


(      2 


di'cn  of  God :  without  this  desire,  and  an 
earnest  pressing  after  it,  you  would  be  scarce 
able  to  retain  what  you  have  already  received  : 
and  indeed  I  have  observed,  that  every  soul 
after  having  received  a  sense  of  pardon,  is 
led  by  a  natural,  or  rather  supernatural  pro- 
pensity, to  seek  after  a  farther  and  deeper 
work  of  grace  ;  this  I  think  may  discover  to 
us,  that  it  is  not  only  our  privilege  ;  but  if 
I  may  use  the  expression,  our  **  right  of  in- 
heritance ;"  our  purchased  possession,  our 
land  of  Canaan ;  to  inherit  which  we  were 
called  out  of  Kgypt,  led  through  the  wilder- 
ness, fought  many  battles,  and  encountered 
many  dangers :  you  may  ask,  then  why  do 
not  all  experience  it?  the  Apostle  tells  us  be- 
cause of  unbelief ;  as  it  was  with  the  Israel- 
ites ;  they  were  brought  out  of  Egypt,  cross- 
ed the  Red-sea,  fed  on  the  manna,  drank 
of  the  rock,  tasted  of  the  grapes  ;  yet  by  rea- 
son of  unbelief  never  attained  to  the  Inheri- 
tance :...Ni  w  apply  the  allegory  in  your  own 
mind,  and  sec  if  the  comparison  will  not 
hold  ?  if  so  what  hinders  ?  are  you  brought 
•to  Jordans  banks  ?  can  you  look  and  see  the 
goodly  prospect  ?  and  arc   the  taste  of  the 


(     228     ) 

grapes  delicious  ?  then  away  with  your  cow- 
ardice ;  think  not  of  the  tall  sons  of  Anack, 
nor  the  high  walls  of  Jerico,  nor  the  broad 
river  of  Jordon  !  let  none  of  these  affright  or 
retard  my  friend ;  but  look  up,  and  see  who 
leads  the  way  !  what  are  all  your  hindrances 
before  the  all pov^erful  Jesus,  the  captain  of 
your  Salvation  :  then  do  not  delay,  reasoning 
about  it ;  but  bravely  determine  to  venture  on 
the  word,  and  promise  of  him  who  cannot 
lie ;  and  trusting  in  him,  say  with  old  coura- 
geous Caleb,  **  We  are  "iuell  able  to  go  up, 
and  take  the  good  land ;"  be  encouraged,  be- 
lieve, and  entCT  in ;  may  the  Lord  help  you 
to  try  him  7ioix) ;  to  put  his  goodness  to  the 
proof  this  moment:  whilst  you  are  reading 
this  letter ;  believe  that  he  has  purchased  this 
great  freedom,  this  inestimable  privilege^ 
this  unspeakable  deliverance  for  you  ;  that 
he  is  wow  this  moment  willing  to  bestow  it ; 
that  is  it  even  reached  out  to  you,  with  en-, 
treaties  to  accept  it :  then  no  longer  refuse 
your  own  mercies,  now  dare  to  believe  ^R: 
spite  of  the  Devil :  venture  your  soul  upon 
him,  and  see  if  he  will  not  be  faithful  to  his 
grace :  O  do  not  unbelievingly   draw  back, 


(     229     ) 

rather  presumptuously  believe,  and  the  Lord 
will  confirm  it  to  your  soul ;  remember  the 
Kingdom  of  Heaven   suifereth  violence,  and 
the  Lord  of  Heaven  loveth  and  yieldeth  to 
the  violence  of  faith  and  prayer. 

In  the  earnestness  of  my  heart  I  can  almost 
believe  for  you ;  may  the  Lord  help  you  to 
believe  for  yourself;  indeed  until  you  do,  you 
can  never  be  happy  :  but  when  you  do,  take 
care  you  do  not  look  for,  or  expect  more  in 
that  state,  than  God  has  promised  ;  remember 
it  is  not  a  deliverance  from  temptations,  trials, 
or  natural  infirmities ;  but  a  deliverance  from 
Sin.  If  you  keep  this  in  view,  it  will  much 
clear  your  way,  and  answer  many  doubts  and 
perplexities  which  Satan  may  cast  into  your 
mind;  it  will  also  help  you  to  bear  the  re- 
proach, and  answer  the  either  real  or  scoffing 
questions  Vv'hich  may  be  asked  of  you  con- 
cerning this  state  ;  for  when  once  you  declare 
the  glad  tidings  of  Sanctification,  you  set  your- 
self up,  as  a  mark  for  the  seeking  Soul  to  fol- 
low after  ;  and  for  the  scoffer  to  jeer  at :  and 
you  will  be  likely  to  meet  with  fitr  more  of 
the  latter  than  of  the  former,  therefore  remem» 
ber^  you  are  to  be  always  ready  to  give  an  an- 
U 


(     230     ) 

svver  for  the  **  hope  that  is  in  you"  ;  and  this 
will  be  more  frequently  sought  for,  iii  your 
general  outward  conduct  and  conversation ; 
than  by  answers  to  particular  questions  ;  then 
what  manner  of  persons  should  we  be,  (who 
profess  the  Lord  Jesus  to  be  a  complete  Sa'vi^ 
our)  in  all  holy  living  and  conversation. 

You  ask,  if  I  have  experienced  this  perfec- 
tion ,  indeed  my  Dear  friend,  your  question 
has  put  my  very  heart  to  the  blush;  I  do  not 
choose  to  bnng  in  my  experience  as  a  stand- 
ard for  any  ;  I  have  cause  of  shame  and  self- 
reproach  because  of  my  unfaithfulness  :  yet 
for  your  satisfaction  I  must  do  my  good 
and  gracious  God  justice ;  to  the  praise  of 
bis  holy  and  ever  blessed  name,  I  acknow- 
lege,  that  I,  unworthy  as  I  am,  have  been 
made  paitaker  of  this  great  grace  :  a  witness 
of  his  power,  to  save  to  t^e  uttermost  all  that 
come  to  him ;  and  had  I  been  faithful  to  his 
grace,  since  the  year  1763.  I  might  be  now 
a  pattern  to  others  :...but  make  no  man  your 
standard,  look  to  your  Lord  Jesus,  who  saysj^ 
**  be  ye  holy  for  I  am  holy  ^"^"^  and  when  you 
meet  with  blots  and  flaws  in  the  greatest  pro- 
fessor's ;  remember  our  Lord's  words,  **  i\:hat 


(     231     ) 

is  that  to  thee.foUov)  thou  me^'^y  be  determiti- 
cd  to  be  as  holy  and  as  happy  as  God  is  willing 
to  make  you ;  and  indeed  you  never  can  be 
completely  happy,  until  the  Lord  has  full 
possession  of  your  heart ;  until  the  root  of 
bitterness,  the  evil  propensity  is  taken  out 
of  your  heart ;  then  you  shall  find  it  your 
meat  and  drink  to  do  his  will  j  because  you 
love  him  with  all  your  heart,  and  love  makes 
all  things  easy... this  love  is  the  fulfilling  of  the 
law  :  for  whilst  we  love,  we  cannot  break  any 
of  his  commandments :  because  we  love  him, 
we  love  all  his  laws  ;  and  love  leads  us  wil- 
lingly into  all  obedience  :  all  constraint  is  ta- 
ken aw^ay,  love  leads  us  as  by  a  natural  pro- 
pensity to  do  his  will ;  and  it  is  not  grievous 
because  we  do  only  what  we  love.... My  ex- 
planation is  very  imperfect,  may  the  Lord 
write  it  clearly  on  your  heart ;  and  surely  he 
will,  his  word  is  not  yea  and  nay,  hvXyca 
and  Amen  ;  sure  as  the  pillars  of  Heaven  : 
open  your  mouth  ivide  and  and  he  will  fill  it ; 
if  you  open  it  but  a  little,  you  will  get  but 
a  little  morsel  j  but  wide  and  exicnshe  as  your 
desires  can  stretchy  the  povver  of  God  extends ; 
ind  his    willingness  will   bestow  :  our  faith 


(     232     ) 

only  can  limit  his  bounty  ;  he  puts  a  blank 
into  our  hands,  to  fill  up  for  ourselves ;  and 
Gays  **  be  it  unto  you,  according  to  your 
faith.''  O  my  Dear  Friend,  here  is  a  door 
thrown  wide  open  ;  will  you  not  now  haste 
to  enter,  to  believe,  see  and  experience  the 
wonders  of  redeeming  love  :  I  long  for  your 
complete  deliverance,  and  feel  my  own  soul 
happy,  in  the  prospect  of  your  happiness ; 
O  that  I  could  say  any  thing,  that  could  con- 
tribute to  it  J  may  the  Lord  speak  to  your 
heart,  take  away  the  hindrance  and  force 
you  to. believe.... Be  zealous,  be  diligent,  ac- 
tive and  laborious  for  God  ;  and  be  content 
with  your  station  ;  yo  u  know  not  for  what 
end  the  Lord  has  sent  or  placed  you  where 
you  are  :  but  be  assured  it  is  for  good,  then 
take  up  your  cross,  willingly  abandoning 
yourself  to  his  care,  and  welcoming  his 
will,  whatever  it  be  :  seek  wisdom,  and  chris- 
tian experience  from  him  ;  and  you  shall  not 
feel  the  want  of  society;  he  will  be  more 
to  you  than  many  helps,... I  wish  you  to  pur- 
sue the  Diary,  that  I  formerly  recommend- 
ed ;  you  will  find  it  a  great  help  ;  I  have  of 
ten  experienced  much   comfort   in   reading 


(     233     ) 

oyer  past  experience,  and  have  often  felt  hap- 
piness and  support  in  comparing  past  with 
present....!  earnestly  recommend  you  not  to 
neglect  it,  but  buy  up  opportunities  for  that 
purpose  ;  only,  do  not  write  much  at  a  time, 
that  it  be  not  burthensome  ;  except  when 
lyour  heart  is  particularly  enlarged  ;  then  it 
may  not  be  well  to  cramp  yourself,  but 
let  your  heart  and  pen  flow  together,  to  the 
glory  of  God....M^y  the  Lord  bless  you  with 
all  your  hearts  desire,  and  give  you  suc- 
cess in  your  labours.... Prays  your  sincere 
Friend . 

ELIZA  BENNIS, 


LETTER  XCVIIL 
Mr,  John  Stretton...to  Mrs  Eliza  Bennis. 

Harbourgraccy  November  30,  1777, 

MY    BEAR    SISTER  BENNIS. 

I  THANK  you,  for  your  very  affection^ 
ate  letter  of  lasJt  July  ;  and  for  your  condescen- 
sion, in  answering  that  question  I  pnoposed  ; 
be  assured  it  was  not  idle  curiosity  that  indu- 
ced me  to  ask  it :  but  a  desire  to  have  some 
secret  doubts  resolved,  and  your  answer  has 
satisfied  them :  I  am  nov/  fully  pasuaded, 
U2 


(     234 


that  perfect  love  is  attainable  in  this  life  ;   and 
in  consequence  of  this  persuasion,  I  proclaim 
the  joyful  news  to  others  :  but  I  do  not  expe- 
rience it  myself;  I  find  in  me,  mountains  of 
unbelief,   of  pride,   the  whole  body  of  sin  to 
grapple  with :  I  feel  siniin  my  prayers,  and  in 
all  my  performances;  and  do  frequently  experi- 
ence, what  Mr.    Whitfield  observed  of  him- 
self;  ''  that  he  never  preached  or  prayed  well, 
but  he  found  the  enemy  near,  s^iyiug  iveil  done 
George^' — .These  things  make  me  often  groan 
in  secret ;  and  sometimes  I  am  ready  to  con- 
clude, that  on  these  accounts,   I  had  better 
cease  speaking  in  public  ;  but  when  I  see  the 
absolute  necessity  there  is  for  it,  and  consider 
that  it  might  prove  the  disjointing  of  our  So- 
ciety; I  again  change  my  mind,  and  abandon 
myself,   fiying  for  protection  to  my  Lord  and 
master,  and  when  I  do  this  he  comforts  me  * 
I  have  taken  your  advice  as  to  the  diary;  and 
hope    it  may  be  profitable  :  but  being  often 
from  home  on  my  blessed  masters  business, 
and  sometimes  on  my  own,  occasions  disorder 
in  it ;  but  I  still  intend  to  continue  it,  as  well 
as  circumstances  will  admit.     Our  little  so- 
ciety  neither   encreases   nor  decreases;    the 


(     235     ) 

generality  of  the  people  in  this  place  are  very 
wicked,  and  the  dead  ministry  makes  them 
quite  regardless  of  hearing  the  truth :  few 
here  but  had  some  serious  impressions,  while 
Mr.  Coughlan  was  here ;  and  these  having 
drawn  back,  cannot  now  bear  to  hear  the 
truth ;  therefore  keep  from  our  meetings  :  a 
few  days  past,  I  was  called  to  speak  to  a  very 
great  audience:  a  mixed  multitude,  at  the  fu- 
neral of  one  of  our  friends  who  died  in  the 
Lord;  the  minister  w^as  present,  a  learned 
scribe,  filled  with  the  lumber  of  the  schools  : 
before  I  began,  I  felt  some  perturbation  ;  but 
looking  to  the  Lord,  he  enabled  me  to  declare 
his  truth  with  boldness ;  and  to  preach  repen- 
tance towards  God,  and  faith  in  our  Lord  Je- 
sus Christ  ;  proving  this  to  be  the  doctrine 
of  the  Church  of  England  from  the  articles, 
Homilies  and  Liturgy  of  that  Church.  The 
learned  and  Reverend  Doctor, when  I  had  done 
gave  an  extempore  oration,  of  about  five 
minutes ;  did  not  gainsay,  nor  enforce  what  I 
had  advanced ;  his  language  seemed  as  hea- 
then greek  to  the  audience  in  general;  he 
^poke  much  of  the  plastic  power  of  Nature 


(     2S6     ) 

of  the  dignity,  and  mortality  of  Man,  but  not 
one  word  of  the  New  Birth  :  1  afterwards  un- 
derstood  that  some  were  aifected  with  the 
truths  they  had  heard ;  but  O  our  enemies 
are  not  idle,  we  are  scoffed  and  jeered  at  by  al- 
most all ;  we  have  many  trials  to  go  through, 
many  crosses  to  take  up ;  O  pray  for  us,  and 
get  the  select  society  to  join  you,  in  supplica- 
ting God  for  a  revival  in  this  wilderness. 

I  shall  anxiously  expect  a  long  letter  next 
spring,  and  therein  speak  plain,  rebuke  and 
exhort  freely,  for  indeed  all  from  you  shall  be 
most  thankfully  received  ;  I  have  much  rea- 
son to  thank  God  for  your  letters,  and  that 
ever  he  laid  me  on  your  heart ;  surely  I  am  a 
brand  plucked  from  the  burning:  the  Lord 
grant  I  may  appear  as  a  star  in  your  crow|i 
of  glory.  May  he  bless  you,  and  make  you 
instrumental  in  his  hand  of  doing  much  more 
good;  is  the  sincere  prayer  of  your  truly  Af- 
fectionate,  &c. 

JOHN  STRETTON. 


(     237     ) 

LETTER   XCIX. 

Mr.  John  Stretton...to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bcnnis, 
Harbour-grace^  Deceynber  2,  i77B» 
It  was  late  this  fall,  when  I  received 
my  Dear  Mrs.  Bennis*s  letter :  and  it  proved 
as  ail  the  former,  very  profitable  to  me; 
though  I  have  not  attained  the  end  it  had  in 
view.  I  hope  your  united  prayers  were  heard 
in  our  behalf,  for  last  Winter  the  Gospel 
trump  was  sounded  through  this  desart  land 
Aviih  some  success,  the  people  in  the  place 
where  we  live,being  almost  weary  of  the  word 
my  fellow  labourer  (Mr.Thomey)  and  I  made 
an  excurtion  of  about  sixty  miles  along  the 
wild  shores  of  this  dreary  country  at  Christ- 
mas, preaching  in  every  place  inhabited.  The 
people  flocked  to  hear,  and  were  greatly  plea- 
sed with  the  welcome  sound.  We  again 
and  again  repeated  our  visits,  in  Qne  place 
where  was  but  four  dry  professors,  a  society 
was  soon  established  of  thirty-seven,  near  all 
believers,  in  one  evening  at  a  love  feast,  five 
were  set  at  liberty ;  open  profligates  convin- 
ced  and  converted,  also  two  aged  sinners  call- 
<ed  in,  one  of  one  hundred  years  old,  the  other 


(     238     ) 

of  eighty,  who  are  yet  alive.  Surely  nothing 
is  too  hard  for  our  God.  It  would  delight 
your  heart,  to  see  old  and  young  flocking  to 
the  ordinances,  in  the  most  inclement  weather, 
from  one  to  five  miles  distant :  at  Pelican 
(near  fifty  miles  from  this)  we  met  with  an 
aged  disciple  called  Haskins,  who  has  gather- 
ed a  little  society  j  he  was  a  member  of  Mr. 
Wesley's  society  in  England  near  thirty  years 
since:  and  enjoys  the  perfect  love  of  God  j 
he  and  w^e  were  much  comforted  and  strength- 
ened by  this  visit.  In  St.  Johns  a  few  sol- 
diers and  servants  joined  themselves  in  socie- 
ty, and  though  few  and  very  poor,  have  built 
themselves  a  neat  meeting  house;  w^e  visited 
these  also,  their  society  prospers ;  they  are 
Galvinists,  but  live  the  life  of  faith,  and  love 
is  even  manifest  in  their  faces.  The  little 
society  where  I  live,  is  at  present  in  a  very 
disordered  state ;  the  thorns  and  thistles  are 
ready  to  destroy  the  good  seed,  the  people 
a^e  mostly  very  poor,  the  place  in  genera! 
growing  more  and  more  wicked,  and  a  carnal 
minister  makes  them  worse,  so  that  those 
who  arc  not  of  our  society,  will  not  even  come 
to  hear.  ' 


{     239     ) 

I  ccntinu^  to  labour  without  intermission, 
though  I  meet  with  violent  opposition  both 
from  within  and  from  without,  this  last  sum- 
mer I  have  endured  the  most  grievous  trials 
I  ever  met  with,  through  my  dealings  with 
evil  men.  The  customs,  manners  and  trade 
of  this  land  is  in  my  apprehension  contrary  to 
pure  and  undefiled  religion  :  and  it  is  remark- 
able that  religion  on  these  accounts  flourish 
most  in  the  winter  season,  when  business  is 
at  a  total  stand.  Blessed  be  God  I  am  not  yet 
quite  overcome  by  mine  enemies,  though  it 
sometimes  seems  as  if  all  the  powers  of  Hell 
were  combined  against  me ;  I  hope  tribula- 
tion is  working  patience  in  me  :  my  soul  suf- 
fers on  account  of  others  ;  I  feel  their  woes, 
I  grieve  for  their  faults,  and  I  lament  for  their 
ignorance,  carnality  and  spleen.  May  the 
Lord  Jesus  pity  the  few  scattered  sheep  in  this 
place,  that  the  w^olfe  is  ready  to  devour  :  O 
pray  for  us,  call  on  all  those  with  you,  w^ho 
love  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ  in  sincerity  and 
truth,  to  join  you  in  storming  the  throne  of 
Grace  on  our  behalf,  that  w^e  be  not  swallov/ed 
up  by  our  enemies....!  must  entreat  you  to 
continue  a  correspondence  so  beneficial  to  me^ 


let  me  have  a  letter  in  the  spring,  and  O 
cheer  my  drooping  spirits,  for  I  am  a  poor 
creature,  Lord  help  me:... may  he  forever 
dwell  with  you,  and  may  you  be  useful  to 
many  others,  as  you  have  hitherto  been  to 
your  unworthy  Brother,  but  most  grateful 
Friend. 

'     JOHN   STRETTON. 


LETTER  C. 
Mr.  John  Stretton...to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis. 
Harbour gr ace ^  December  18,  1779. 
MY  very  Dear  Sister  Bennis's  letter  of 
last  spring  proved  a  comfort  in  time  of  need ; 
blessed  be  my  good  God,   I  have  this  year 
experienced    much  of  his  goodness  to  me, 
and  found  his   providential  care  over  me  in 
all  my  undertakings.     The  summer  before 
last,  all  my  property  had  like  to  be  swallow- 
ed up  by  the  subtilty  of  wicked  and  design- 
ing men ;  who  set  themselves  against  me,  be- 
cause I  openly  reproved  sin  :   they  did  me 
much  hurt,   but   God  has  turned  it  to  my 
gGod....Last  Januaiy  I  v/as  very  near  death 
with  a  quinsey,  the  effects  of  a  severe  jour- 
ney taken  that  \vinter  along  this  dcsart  shore, 


doing  I  trust  my  Master's  business.  Last  Au- 
gust I  entered  on  a  new  business,  having  for 
the  present  given  up  the  fishery,  and  commen- 
ced Shopkeeping  ;  here  I  found  that  the  hearts 
of  all,  even  of  the  wricked,  are  in  the  hands  of 
God,  for  instantly  I  had  many  of  the  gentlemen 
here  ready  to  assist  me  :  most  of  these  a  few 
months  past  were  as  ready  to  abuse  me  be- 
cause  I  publickly  condemned  their  doings  ; 
yet  now  they  gave  me  encouragement  without 
my  seeking  their  good  will ;  and  what  is  bet- 
ter than  all,  God  has  blessed  and  is  blessing 
my  endeavours. 

I  am  now  jealous  of  my  heart,  business  en- 
gages much  of  my  thoughts,  yet  still  I  think 
that  I  would  not  give  up  my  God  for  ten  thou* 
sand  worlds :  O  that  I  may  never  be  guilty 
of  the  base  idolatry,  of  worshiping  the  gift, 
and  forgeting  the  giver. 

With  difficulty  the  professors  here  are  kept 
together,  and  I  think  my  business  has  not  pre- 
vented my  constantly  attending  on  them  everv 
appointed  time.  Another  remarkable  Mercy 
I  have  to  mention ;  the  man  that  most  griev- 
ously injured  me  last  year,  both  in  name  and 
property,  was  last  September  taken  Sick ;  on 
X 


(     242     ) 

a  Monday  he  was  in  a  high  fever,  and  wicked 
beyond  description,  blaspheming  &:c.  on  the 
brink  of  black  despair :  Tuesday  night  he 
sent  for  me,  I  forgave  him  all  he  had  said  and 
done  to  me,  talked  and  prayed  with  him  : 
that  night  and  Wednesday  he  laboured  under 
strong  convictions;  Wednesday  night  I  sat  by 
him  expecting  his  death  he  was  then  calm 
and  resigned ;  Thursday  he  was  better,  and 
rejc^icing  in  God  his  Saviour.  On  Monday 
.  li,  on  Thursday  a  Saint :  Behold  ! 
2i  imire  the  power  of  changing  Grace.  Since 
this  he  has  joined  our  Society,  and  I  hope  will 
continue  faithful ;  my  Dear  Sister  my  Spiri- 
tual Mother,  my  Best  Friend ;  continue  to 
pray  for  me,  and  cease  not  to  comfort  me  by 
your  ^affectionate  advice.  May  the  Lord  bless 
you  with  every  blessing  of  the  Upper  and 
Nether  Spring,  is  the  unceasing  prayer  of 
JOHN  STRETTON. 


LETTER  CI. 
Mr.  John  Stretlon...to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis. 
Harbour -grace,  June  29,  1785. 
AFTER  a  silence  of  five  years,  I  was 
exceeding  glad  to  find,  that  my  very  Dear 


(     243      ) 

Sister  Bennis,  my  mother,  my  friend  was 
still  alive  ;  for  1  had  heard  you  was  remov- 
ed to  your  eternal  rest,  but  blessed  be  God 
you  are  yet  spared  to  do  more  good  in  the 
earth  :... I  suppose  you  have  lately  seen  Mr. 
Wesley,  and  possibl}^  have  had  some  con- 
versation with  him  about  me ;  I  wrote  to 
him  last  Fall,  to  send  a  preacher  to  this  place, 
as  the  work  of  God  seems  to  be  at  a  stand 
here,  and  superstition  and  profaneness  great- 
ly encreasing;  he  answered  my  letter,  told  me 
of  Dr.  Coke  being  in  America,  and  said  he 
would  write  to  him  to  call  here  before  he- 
returned  to  England  :..,but  he  is  not  yet  arri- 
ved:.. surely  if  he  comes,  he  will  find  this  a  de- 
solate wilderness,  and  that  it  requires  the  spi«^ 
rit  of  martyrdom  to  carry  on  the  work  here  : 
my  Dear  Friend  and  fellow  labourer  Arthur 
Thomey,  who  was  instrumental  in  the  con- 
version of  many  souls,  and  laboured  inces- 
santly many  years  in  his  Lords  vine}'ard,  is 
called  hence  to  receive  his  eternal  reward; 
he  went  to  Portugal  last  November  on  bu- 
siness: just  landed  there,  was  in  good  health 
going  to  bed,  and  was  found  dead  in  the 
morning :  you  can  hardly  conceive  what  I  have 


(     244     ) 

felt  on  this  melancholy  occasion;  yet  surely 
God  is  love,  though  Icannot  see  through  this 
dark  cloud  !...0  write  to  Mr:  Wesley,  not  to 
forget  us  in  this  benighted  corner ;  I  know 
by  experience  that  sweet  persuasion  dwells 
upon  your  tongue,  and  can  you  exercise  it  for 
a  more  beneficial  purpose  ?  let  not  these  souls 
perish  for  lack  of  knowledge  :..I  still  exercise 
my  poor  talents,  but  the  society  is  broken 
up,  and  few  come  to  hear  me,  and  my  pres- 
ent business  prevents  the  excursions  I  used 
formerly  to  take:... yet  blessed  be  God  he 
keeps  my  own  soul  in  peace,  sweetly  stay- 
ed upon  Iiim,  and  expectantly  looking  to 
him  for  a  revival  of  his  work  even  in  this 
place ;  indeed  were  it  not  for  this  expecta- 
tion, I  should  be  tempted  to  return  to  Ire- 
land ;  if  it  was  the  Lord's  w411,  I  would  be 
glad  to  see  you  before  you  die;  but  may  he 
direct. ...My  Dear  Sister,  cease  not  pray  for 
me  while  }  ou  breath  :  I  really  believe  your 
prayers  for  me  have  been  remarkably  ans\yer- 
ed  :  O  I  cannot  describe  what  a  comfort,  it 
brings  to  my  mind  in  the  midst  of  aiflictioos, 
when  I  recollect,  nay  when  I  am  sure,  I  h^ve 
one  faithful  praying  friend    yet   alive,    may 


(     245     ) 

the  Lord  Jesus  bless  you,  bless  you  in  time, 
bless  you  in  eternity,  is  the  earnest  prayer 
of  your  sincere  friend  and  brother. 

JOHN  STRETTON. 


LETTER  CII. 
Mr.  John  Stretton...to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis* 
Harbour 'grace,  No'demher  15,   1785. 
I  AM  much  obliged  to  my  Dear  Sister 
Bennis  for  yours  of  last   August :   die  Lord 
has  indeed  supplied  the  place  of  Dear  Tho- 
mey  ;   for  last  month  a  preacher  arrived  here 
from  London,  sent  by  Mr.  Wesley ;  his  name 
John  Magery ;  a  good    man,    and    a    good 
preacher ;    I   hope  he  will  prove  a  blessing 
to  this  place. 

We  wanted  one  given  wholly  to  the  worJc  ; 
I  see  that  a  preacher  should  not  be  entangled 
with  the  affairs  of  this  life.  My  heart  is  ready 
to  accept  your  kind  invitation,  for  be  assured 
it  is  not  the  desire  of  geting  rich  that  has 
kept  me  here  ;  but  I  have  been  waiting  tOisee 
the  motion  of  the  incumbent  cloud.  If  I 
had  left  this,  the  very  appearance  of  religion 
had  vanished,  and  I  dare  not  desert  my  post 
until  lawfully  discharged  :  yet  if  the  Lore} 
X'2       ' 


C     246      ) 

permits  me  to  see  Ireland,  I  would  think  \itit 
of  travelling  one  hundred  miles  to  see  you  : 
you  who  I  may  with  propriety  call  my  Mo- 
ther in  the  Gospel :  may  the  Lord  encom- 
pass you  with  his  favour  as  with  a  shield.  You 
may  well  say  you  know  the  comfort  of  reli- 
gious society,  but  I  know  very  litde  of  it,  you 
can  hardly  conceive  my  situation  in  this  res- 
pect, I  may  say  that  singly  and  alone,  the 
Lord  has  enabled  me  to  withstand  th.G  whole 
place  where  I  dwell,  but  I  am  yet  preserved 
by  the  power  of  God,  through  your  prayers  : 
blessed  be  God.  Business  prevents  my  en- 
larging at  present.  O  let  me  partake  of  your 
thoughts,  when  you  draw  near  to  God* 

December  12th,  Every  thing  here  appears 
so  disagreeable  to  Mr.  Magery,.  that  I  fear 
he  will  not  abide  long. — indeed  vvhcever  seeks 
^ase  or  comfort  is  not  likely  to  meet  much  of 
it  in  this  Island. — Blessed  be  God  who  has 
so  wonderfully  kept  and  supported  me  for 
many  years  in  much  weakness,  in  many  trials 
and  sundry  disagreeables,  preaching  a  free 
Gospel  in  this  dreary  Region:  but  when  I 
have  been  weak,  then  I  was  strong.  An  avi^- 
fol  providence  happened  here  this  Summery 


to  a  youth,  whose  family  perhaps  you  knov/, 
the  son  of  Mn  A  .P.  of  Waterforcl :  he  had  a 
violent  fever  in  July,  my  soul  was  pained  for 
him  ;  he  just  recovered,  was  saved  with  the 
skin  of  his  teeth  ;  w^ent  on  a  party  of  pleasure 
(so  called)  on  a  Sunday,  to  an  Island  a  little 
distance  from  this  ;  rolled  oyer  the  Clifl',  and 
was  taken  up  Dead,  wounded,  broken,  brui- 
sed !  I  felt  much  on  this  occasion  for  I  had 
a  great  regard  for  the  youth,  and  had  spoken 
much  to  him  just  before  of  the  one  thing  need- 
ful :  O  when  will  the  young  take  heed  to 
their  ways!  farewell  my  dear  Mother,  forget 
not  your  Affectionate  Son  in  Christ, 

JOHN   STRETTON, 


LETTER    cm. 

Mr  John  Stretton....to  Mrs.   Eliza  Bennis 

Harbour-grace^  November  18,  ITSS* 
MY  Dear,  old,  faithful,  afflicted  friend  > 
I  did,  I  do  sympathise  with  you  in  the  fur- 
nace ;  but  what  can  I  say  to  mitigate  the  se- 
verity of  the  fire?  May  the  Lord,  the  only 
good,  the  just,  the  wiss  be  with  you,,  while 
walking  through  the  fire,,  and  it  shall  not  kiiv 


i     2-18     ) 

die  upon  you;  bv  and  bvj  Heaven  will  level 
all  diese  distinctions  in  life,  that  men  call  for- 
tunate and  unfortunate ;  and  then  we  shall  with 
wonder  see  that  nothing  was  snatched  away 
from  ^us  but  what  would  have  hurled  us,  if 
left  in  our  possession.  But  blessed  be  God,  in 
the  midst  of  affliction  you  abound  in  consola- 
tion also.  O  happy  troubles,  fortunate  trials, 
blessed  disappointments,  that  have  turned  all 
your  family  to  seek  the  Lord,  here  is  the  an- 
swer of  your  many  years  prayers,  the  fruit  of 
your  many  supplications;  surely  the  Lord 
is  with -you,  and  the  jire  doth  7wt^  shall  not 
kindle  upon  thee^  he  will  uphold  you  with  the 
right  hand  of  his  power,  and  you  have  seen, 
and  shall  see  his  great  salvation. 

I  have  nothing  agreeable  to- write  from  this 
wilderness,  Religion  seems  on  the  decline ; 
for  my  part  I  am  absolutely  left  alone,  I  have 
not  ceased  acting  as  a  preacher,  but  the  people 
have  lost  the  form  and  power  of  Godliness, 
and  though  superstition  and  profanity  abound 
yet  still  I  continue  to  preachy  and  some  few 
come  to  hear.  Mr.  Magery  seems  buried 
alive  in  Carbonear,  he  married  a  planters 
daughter,  without  her   fluhers  consent,  gave 


(     249     ) 

much  offence,  and  his  usefulness  seemsto.be 
at  an  end.  Temporal  things  have  been  unpros- 
perous  with  me  this  year;  but  I  hope  my 
trust  is  not  in  the  uncertain  things  that  make 
to  themselves  wings,  and  fly  away,  let  you 
and  I  stand  still,  and  we  shall  see  the  salva- 
tion of  our  God!  O  blessed  expression, — ^yts, 
Our  God! 

December  Ith,  I  have  just  read  over  your 
last  letter ;  I  find  it  is  through  much  tribula- 
tion we  must  enter  the  kingdom  of  Heaven, 
you  are  drinking  the  bitter  cup,  but  the  Lord 
is  holding  your  trembling  hand  and  encour- 
ageing  you  to  follow  him  through  sufferings 
to  glory  :  He  has  said  (and  can  we  doubt  his 
word)  all  things  shall  work  together  for  good 
to  those  that  Love  God  :  if  so,  tlie  present  dis- 
pensation is  for  good,  iov  your  good ;  for  sure- 
ly you  can  say  with  truth,  '*  Lord  thou  know^ 
est  all  things,  thou  knowest  that  /  love  thee^^. 
I  sometimes  vainly  wish  that  I  was  near  you, 
to  share  your  troubles,  and  mingle  mme  v/ith 
yours,  but  were  I  to  tell  all  the  exercises  of 
a  public  and  private  nature,  that  have  agitated 
my  spirits  these  two  or  three  years  past,  it 
would  require  long  time  indeed,  and  I  have 


(     250       ) 

not  time  to  write  it:  Mr.  John  M'Geary  came 
here  as  a  preacher  appointed  by  Mr.  Wesley 
he  came  seemingly  in  the  spirit  of  the  Gospel 
full  of  love  :  He  had  natural  lalents  for  the 
work,  and  I  gave  him  every  help  and  encour- 
agement in  my  poAver. 

But  Oh  he  laboured  in  vain,  and  left  this 
place  for  England  last  month;  nor  do  I 
know  one  professor  or  profane  that  wished 
his  stay  :...he  brought  upon  himself  multi- 
plied vexations,  and  a  flood  of  reproach  up- 
on the  cause ;  I  was  constrained  for  the 
cause  sake,  and  for  my  own  credit  sake,  to 
keep  at  a  distance  from  him  for  near  a  year' 
past..., In  these  troublesome  times,  with 
every  possible  discouragement,  no  friend  or 
brother  to  assist,  and  reproach  pouring 
down  on  the  methodist  name  ;  I  say  with 
all  this  to  discourage  me,  I  began  to  build 
a  meeting  house  in  Harbour- grace,  and  open- 
ed it  the  last  day  of  August  this  year  :  I 
built  it  at  my  ow^n  expense  ;  for  we  have 
no  society ;  and  this  is  the  only  thing  at  r 
present  that  keeps  up  the  protestant  name  in 
this  place  :  the  protestant  minister  is  worse 
than  none,  and  few  go  to  church,    while  Po- 


(  ^51  ) 

pery  like  a  deluge  sweeps  away  the  rest,  ... 
In  the  midst  of  this  I  have  to  labour  for 
the  bread  that  perisheth,  to  suffer  all  the  vex- 
ations, disappointments  and  fatigue,  of  a  bu- 
siness the  most  precarious  and  perplexing 
perhaps  in  the  world.  But  through  all,  my 
only  comfort  and  support  is  this  :...*'  I  am 
not  my  own,"  I  have  already  devoted  my- 
self, -dnd  all  I  have  to  God ;  to  that  God 
who  openeth  his  hand  and  supplies  the  wants 
of  an  Universe  :... this  is  the  outlines,  rather 
the  preface  to  all  1  could  tell  you,  were  you- 
siting  where  I  now  write,  but  you  are  not' 
here  !  All  we  can  do  is  to  meet  at  the  throne 
of  grace  in  this  world  ;  by  and  by  we  shall 
meet  in  a  better,  to  tell  the  labours  of  our- 
feet,  and  various  toils  through  all  this  vale 
of tears. 

I  have  just  wrote  to  the  son  of  J.  W. 
of  Waterford  to  come  out  and  preach  the 
gospel  here  for  one  summer  freely,... meet- 
ing  such  discouragement  makes  me  fear> 
while  I  write  on  the  subject.... Is  the  young 
man  fit  for  the  work  ?  Has  he  gifts  and 
grace  ?  do  not  let  him  come  to  do  hurt ;  but 
O  encourage  him  if  he  is  likely  to  do  good  : 


(     252      ) 

may  the  next  that  comes  be  one  that  Christ 
the  Lord  shall  send. 

The  Lord  be  with  vou,  write  me  in  the 
spring,  and  pray  for  your  Son  and  Brother 
in  the  best  of  bonds. 

JOHN  STRETTON 


LETTER   CIV. 
Mr.  John  Stretton...to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis. 
Harhour.gr ace ^  December  18,  1790. 
SHALL  I  again  say,  that  I  have  sympa- 
thized with  my  very  Dear  Friend,  in  all  these 
complicated  troubles  that  have  lately  come 
upon  you;  but  you  know  the  mountains  are 
high,  and  the  vallies  deep,  the  nearer  the  pil- 
grim is  to  mount  Zion  the  city  of  our  God. 
But  as  troubles  abound,  consolation  also  a- 
bounds;  and  what  great  consolation,  to  sec  all 
your  children  with  their  faces  Zion- ward  ;   is 
net  this  a  greater  comfort,  than  to  see  them 
rolling  in  gilded  chariots  to  Hell  ?  know  this  , 
that  all  things  shall  work  together  for  good 
to  them  that  love  God :  have  you  not  esteeiii' 
cdjlif72^s  your  Chief  Joy?  cannot  you  still 
say,    ''  Lord  thou  knowest  all  things,   thou 


(     2o3      ) 

knowest  that  I  love  thee'»  and  then  conclude 
that  those  exquisitely  painful  dispensations  of 
his  providence,  are  the  very  best  things  that 
could  happen  to  you  and  yours  :  for  **  Crosses 
from  his  sovereign  hand,  are  blessings  in  dis- 
guise".-^! have  felt    your  afflictions  at  many 
hundred  miles  distance,  and  have  wept,  and 
prayed  for  you.:  O  what  a  mercy  to  have  Je^ 
BUS,  a  Saviour,a  Friend,  that  was  made  for  ad- 
versity, that  sticketh  closer  than  a  brother  ;  to 
fly  to,  in  the  hour   of   our  distress :   O  leave 
all  to   him,  trust  him  solely:  he  has,  he  does 
he  will,  turn   all  these  seeming  evils  to  you 
and  your    childrens*  everlasting  good;   then 
shall  you  look  back  **  and  wonder  at  his  grace, 
to  all  Eternity".      I  go  on  in  a  public  way  as 
usual;  since  I  opened  the  meeting  house,  many 
attend  on  Sabbath  evenings,  but  I  cannot  ob- 
serve much  good  done;  two  or  three    w^ere 
wrought  upon  last  Winter,  who  seem   still  in 
earnest;  but  the    general  hurt  done   by  the 
kist  preacher  from  Europe  will  not  be   easily 
recovered. 

January  2,  1191,     And  is  my  Dear   Sister 
Bennis,  now  a  resident  in  Waterford,    where 
I  left  her  on  a  visit  twenty  years  ago  !  few  and 
Y 


(     ^^54     ) 

full  of  evil  have,  these  days  been  with  nie  in 
this  dreary  Region ;  and  yet  here  I  have  been 
fed,    and  cloathed    by  miracle,   and  here  also 
the  pillar  of  a  cloud,  was  my  guide,  in  this 
wilderness.  Has  not  the  same  blessed  and  glo- 
rious guide,  led  you    like    old  Jacob  to   sec 
and  bless   all  your  children  ?  and  to  rejoice 
in  seeing  Christ  formed  in  the  hearts  of  your 
offspring,   and  grace  given  to  your  children's 
children?    surely  your  comforts  are  great,  O 
rejoice  in  them,   rejoice  in  him  who  is  the 
Husband  of  the  Widow,  and  who  will  never 
leave  or  forsake  you:  I  thought  before  this  time 
to  be  able  to  leave  this  land,    but  find  myself 
year  after  year  in  the  same  place;  I  toil  and 
toil  for  nothing ;    then  I  think  I  am  placed 
here,  if  not  for  the  defence  of  the  gospel,  at 
least  to   be   a  witness  against,  and  reprover 
of  the  workers  of  iniquity;  for  O  myfriend,this 
place  is  like    Sodom  in  ever}^  thing,  but  ful- 
ness of  bread,    and  I  am  here  alone,  not  one 
family  heartily  religious  that  I  can  associate 
with,  or  hold  any  profitable  converse  with  all 
the  dreary  Winter. 

Write  to  me  next  spring,  and  let  me  kno^v 
all  about  you  and  yours,  and  O  believe,  yon 


(     255     ) 

have  a  large  share  in  the  affection  and  prayers, 
of  your  truly  sympathetic  Son,  Brother,  and 
Friend. 

JOHN  STRETTON. 


LETTER  CV. 

Mr.  John  Stretton...to  Mrs  Eliza  Bennl's. 

Harbourgrace^  November  29^  1791. 
Will  it  not  rejoice  my  Dear  Friend,  to 
hear  that  the  Lord  has  been  pleased  to  revive 
his  work  in  this  place  last  August,  in  a  most 
remarkable  manner^  through  the  instrumen- 
tality of  a  Mr.  William  Black  from  Halifax  in 
Nova- Scotia  :  He  is  a  ruleing  Elder  in  the 
Methodist  Episcopal  Church,  came  here  on 
a  visit,  spent  about  six  weeks  amongst  us, 
and  then  returned:  while  here  many  were 
converted,  chiefly  young  people,  and  since 
his  departure,  I  have  gathered  near  sixty 
young  persons,  and  many  litde  children  that 
have  serious  impressions  on  their  minds.... 
This  work  was  the  most  extraordinary  I  have 
ever  seen,  and  as  remarkable  if  particularized 
^  as  in  parts  of  the  continent  of  America,  that 
^  I  have  read  of:  O  this  i«  the  day  my  soul  has 
longed  for,  blessed  be  God  for  it,  I  could  al^ 


(     256     ) 

most  take  up  Simeons  exclamation  !  surely 
he  who  has  begun  this  great,  this  glorious 
work  in  the  dreary  wilderness,  will  carry  it 
on,  until  this  dark  region  is  illuminated  with 
Gospel  light,  knowledge  and  love :  Amen. 
Yours  Affectionately 
JOHN  STRETON- 


LETTER  CVI. 
Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis...tc 

MY    DEAR    FRIEND. 

I  CANNOT  express  my  thanks  to  you 
for  first  beginning,  and  so  kindly  continuing 
a  correspondence  from  which  I  have  derived 
so  much  satisfaction,  and  expect  yet  more.... 
Your  last  has  proved  a  great  blessing  to  me ; 
how  shall  I  sufficiently  praise  my  God  for  lay- 
ing me  50  close  on  your  heart,  may  the  Lord 
reward  you  an  hundred  fold ;  surely  I  cannot 
cease  to  pray  for  you  even  as  for  my  own  soul, 
and  find  it  good  to  remember  you  before  the 
Lord. 

Through  the  whole  of  your  experience, 
I  see  a  very  near  resemblance  to  my  own; 
only   I  think     there   is   something    in    my 


(     257     ) 

very  composition,  that  is  harder  for  the  grace 
of  God  to  work  upon,  than  in  any  I  meet  with, 
and   (if  I  may  use  the  expression)   I  think 
he  has  had  more  trouble  with  me,  than  with 
thousands ;   but,  blessed  be  his  name,  with 
him  all  things  arc   possible,   he   has  begun 
the  work^  and  he  will  carry  it  on,  and  bring 
forth  the  topstone   with  shouting  and  praise 
to  his  own  free  grace  :    Let  ua  trust  in  him, 
and  we  shall  not  be  disappointed ;  I  am  con- 
vinced we  lose  much  for  want  of  this.     The 
Lord  gives  us  according   to  our  faith ;   and 
because  our  faith  is  weak,  our  conceptions  are 
narrow,  and  our  hopes  confined  :  so  that  we 
cannot  take  in  the   measure   of  love  and  life 
which  the  Lord  is  willing  to  give ;  as  to  my- 
self I  know  this  is  the  case,  yet,so  inconsist- 
ent am  i  diat  I    act  contrary   to  niy  know- 
ledge;  but  thus   flir  I  can  testify    for    God» 
Vvhen  I  did  act  f.uth  upon  him  to  the  full, 
and  kept  my  faith  in   continual   exercise  I 
was  kept  constantly  happy:  and  enjoyed  a  con- 
stant sense  of  his   presence,  and  the   con- 
stant   testimony    of  his   spirit,    that  he  had 
cleansed  my  heart  from  sin.     I  also  knew 
it  was  his  will  I  should  keen  this,   and  that 
Y  2 


(     258     ;  I 

I  need  not  have  lost  it,  or  have  it  at  any  time 
withdrawn.  But  self  ignorance,  and  self  wis 
dom,  have  caused  me  much  sorrow,  and 
yet  I  have  not  learned  wisdom  by  my  folly ; 
I  am  still  as  apt  to  hearken  to  the  voice  of 
my  enemy,  and  to  dispute  the  matter  on  his 
side  as  ever ;  I  want  that  childlike  simpli- 
city  which  I  see  so  amiable  in  others,  and 
which  I  think  more  desirable  than  wis- 
dom and  great  attainments  :  but  how  shall 
I  attain  this  ?  my  Dear  friend,  will  you  tell 
me  how  ?  there  appears  so  many  reasonable 
objections  against  myself,  and  these  so  in- 
consistent with  my  profession,  that  I  am 
ready  to  think  it  is  only  presumption  in  me 
to  keep  my  hold  ?  The  constent  sight  Lhave 
of  myself  keeps  me  almost  continually  in 
this  state  of  suspense,  and  sinks  my  spirit 
down  to  the  earth ;  so  that  I  have  only  a 
melancholy  remembrance  of  what  I  once 
was,  and  look  back  with  sorrow  and  shame 
on  the  happy  years  that  are  past,  when  the 
candle  of  the  Lord  did  shine  bright  upon 
my  head,  and  when  by  his  light  I  walked 
tlirough  darkness :  O  shall  I  ever  see  such 
times  again  ?    surely  it  would  be  just  if  the 


(     259     ) 

Lord  would  never  afford  me  such,  because 
like  Eve  I  hearkened  to  the  voice  of  the 
tempter  :...Vet  while  I  endeavour  to  disco- 
ver to  you  my  own  unfaithfulness,  I  should 
also  acknowledge  the  goodness  and  loving 
kindness  of  God.  At  times  he  does  give 
me  to  see  that  my  heart  is  wholly  his,  and 
that  sin  is  cast  out ;  and  though  I  am  sur- 
rounded  with  many  things  which  bring  dis- 
tress on  my  mind,  yet  I  can  say  he  makes 
all  work  for  good,  to  my  soul:  In  all  my 
trials  and  distresses  he  is  my  refuge,  and  at 
the  worst  of  times,  am  enabled  to  come  to 
him  as  my  father  and  my  friend ;  and  ^ 
far  as  I  can  see  his  will,  do  find  my  whole 
soul  acquiesce  in  it ;  if  I  could  certainly 
think  that  even  the  abatement  of  my  hap- 
piness was  his  will,  I  think  I  should  rejoice 
to  suffer  it.  You  will  be  apt  to  ask,  why 
then  do  I  complain  ?  I  answer  because  I  have 
not  that  fervency  of  love  to  God  which  I 
have  had,  nor  that  degree  of  sweet  enjoyment, 
that  constant  immediate  access  to  him,  that 
near  union,  and  intimate  communion,  that 
stayedness  of  mind,  and  solidity  of  spirit, 
that  freedom  of  conversation  with  him,  and 


(     260     }  1 

emptiness  of  self  before  him;... I  say  I  do 
not  enjoy  any  of  these  in  that  measure  or  de- 
gree which  I  have  done,  and  for  this  I  grieve : 
my  complaints  are  all  against  myself,  but  ;how 
easy  for  my  Gorl  to  remove;  a  word,  a  touch,  a 
look  can  do;  this  would  be  pleasant,  but  if  my 
present  state  be  more  medicinal  why  should 
I  complain,  my  good  physician  sees  what 
medicines  the  disorders  of  my  soul  has  need 
of,  and  his  skill  cannot  err  t  through  grace  t 
find  myself  passive  in  his  hands,  and  desire 
that  his  whole  will  may  be  done  in  me,  and 
by  me..  ..I  am  my  Dear  friend,  ypur^  AJil- 
^erely  /\flectionatc  Sister^         . ,  , .  | r,^. ..../  . 


LETTER  CVII. 

The  Revd.  J.  F to  Mrs.  Eliza  B^nnis. 

Covey  April  7,  irss. 

DEAR    MADAM. 

YOU  will  be  pleased  to  hear,  we  are 
happy  and  content,  and  I  trust  (with  divine 
assistance)  we  shall  never  have  reason  to  re- 
pine ^t  our  .situation....  When  we  consider 
the  different  pursuits  of  the  world  in  search  of 


(     261      ) 

what  is  generally  called  happiness,  and  sec 
with  what  zeal  and  assiduity  that  phantom  is 
sought  after,  while  the  more  substantial  bliss 
is  passed  by  unregarded,  and  at  the  same 
time  reflect  how  easy  k  is  in  the  power  of  al- 
inost  every  one  to  obtain  it,  what  name  shall 
we  give  Ambition? — **  Fine  reasoning  (you 
will  say)  you  are  but  a  Curate,  get  but  posses- 
sion of  a  good  living,  taste  the  sweets  of  rich- 
es, let  tythes  increase  and  all  these  fine  senti- 
ments will  be  done  away.*'  I  cannot  answer 
for  myself  'tis  true,  if  providence  is  pleased 
to  protect  us,  as  he  has  hitherto,  I  trust  hap- 
piness will  never  be  a  stranger  to  our  dwelling. 
In  any  station  believe  me  to  be  Dear  Madam  t 
Your  Affectionate  &c.  J.  Fo 


LETTER  CVIII. 

Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis....to  the  Revd.  J.    F. 

Litnericky  April  19,  1783. 

DEAR   SIR. 

I  AM  not  versed  in  compliments,  but  do 

•assure  you,    we   all  share  in  your  happiness 

and  sincerely  wish  and  hope  it  may  continue 

and  increase  for  ever,...Thtit  there  is  such  a 

thing  as  happiness,  we  all  allow,  but  what  it 


C     252     ) 

is,  and  where  to  be  found,  is  tlie  question  : 
the  pursuits  after  it  are  as  various,  as  the  tem~ 
pers  and  dispositions  of  the  world,  each   hav^ 
ing  some  different  end  in  view  w^hich  they  call 
happiness,  and  which  when  attained  gratifies 
for  a  time,    and  is  often  the   foundation  or 
scource  of  much  unhappiness  :  the  mind  dis- 
appointed in  its  search,  roves  after  other  ob- 
jects, which  it  calls  by  the  same  name ;  and 
like  Solomon,  pursues  it  in  every  gratifica 
tion,  seeks  it  in  the  worlds  in  the  creature,  in 
the    lust    of  the  flesh,  the   lust  of  the  eye, 
and  the  pride  of  life :   and  happy  for  these  if 
In  all  they  are  disappointed,  for  then  and  only 
then,  they  may  be  drove  to  seek  it  where  only 
it  may  be  found,  for  in  this  I  fully  agree  with 
the  Poet : 

*'  Search  the  whole  Creation  round, 
*'  Can  it  out  of  God  be  found  ?'* 

This  is  my  opinion  concerning  happiness. 
God  as  the  fountain,  the  sourse  of  it,  has  re- 
served it  all  in  himself;  nor  can  there  be  any 
complete  happiness  in  any  other,  but  whoever 
seeks  it  in  him,  shall  most  certainly  find  sure, 
solid,  substantial  happiness,  such  as  the  care- 
less world  knows  nothinr*:  of,  and  such  as  the 


(       263      ) 

world,  or  the  creature,  a  curac}^  or  a  good 
living  cannot  bestow  :  such  as  a  beggar  may 
enjoy,  but  a  Monarch  cannot  purchase.  Does 
my  Dear  friend  agree  with  me  ia  this  ?  then 
the  question  naturally  follows,  how  is  this  hap- 
piness to  be  attained?  the  answering  this  is 
jy(?«;- province.... My  mind  has  ever  been  in- 
quisitive on  this  important  subject,  and  hope  at 
a  leisure  hour,  for  your  kind  assistance  :  may 
the  Lard  illuminate  you  Vv^ith  his  grace,  and 
V,  hilst  our  ijuarches  are  agreeable  to  his  will, 
this  exercise  may  be  profitable  to  us  both.,.. 
^  .i;n  '  our  sincere  fiiend 

ELIZA  BENNIS. 


LKITER       CiX. 

'ih<^.   Rev.  J.  F....to  Mrs.  EUza  Bennis. 
Coi}e,  May   12,  1783. 

THANKS  to  my  Dear  Mrs.   Bennis, 

for  your   friendly  arid  improving   letter,    the  \ 

assurance  she    gives  of  our    friends  partial 

regards,   will   ever   afford  me    sincere  plea 

i  re,... How  exactly  have  you  drawn  the  pro- 

:3S    of  i  that   imaginary    happiness     which 

en  generally  pursue  so  earnestly,  and  which 

,  ,ur  frieixd  (though  not  a   long  time  in  the 


(     264     ) 

world)  has  often  found  remorse  to  attend  the 
acquisition  of....  You  ask  me  how  real  happi- 
ness is  to  be  attained  ?  though  I  imagine 
you  have  already  formed  a  just  opinion  upon 
this  subject,  since  you  desire  it,  I  will  of- 
fer mine.  We  both  agree  that  the  world 
or  any  of  its  highest  enjoyments  can  never 
purchase  this  desirable  blessing,  we  must 
therefore  apply  to  another  source  :...  where 
the  pleasures  that  are  offered  to  our  accept- 
ance, natural  reason  alone  informs  us  are 
capable  of  satisfying  the  most  unbounded 
desires ;  with  this  delightful  addition,  that 
they  never  can  leave  behind  the  least  uneasy 
sensation. 

How  to  acquire  this  happiness  is  the  point : 
external  objects,  and  present  giatification, 
continually  surround  us,  and  solicit  our  accep- 
tance ;  to  oppose  these,  let  us  in  the  first  place 
remember  the  end,  that  (with  Almighty  as- 
sistance) w€  may  not  do  amiss  j  wheii  we 
keep  this  rule  steadily  in  view,  it  will  in 
time  weaken  those  attacks,  which  the  ene- 
my to  our  peace  is  continually  making  upqn 
us,  to  prevent  our  improving  in  virtue  :  apd 
upon  our  proper  application  we  may  reason- 


.     ^65      j 

ably  expect  that  assistance  from  tibove  which 
will  carry  us  through  our  Christian  warfare  ; 
and  open  to  our  view  those  delightful  pros- 
pects, of  which  if  on  an  impartial  reflec-^ 
tion  upon  our  conduct ;  our  consciences  do 
not  condemn  us ;  we  may  with  confidence 
(through  the  mercies  of  th  e  Almighty)  ex- 
pect a  happy  enjoyment.  I  am,  my  Dear 
Madam,   your  truly  Affectionate 

J.  F 


LETTER  ex. 
Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis...to  the  Rev.  J.  F. 
Limerick,    Jf/^^y  26,  1783, 

THE  subject  which  my  Dear  Mr.  F, 
has  taken  in  hand,  and  engaged  me  in, 
is  very  copious;  one  which  has  already 
filled  volumes,  and  employed  the  pens  of 
the  most  learned  and  the  most  holy  for  ma- 
ny ages  past;  how  unequal  am  I  then  to 
such  a  task!  but  as  it  is  only  for  the  inspec- 
tibn  of  my  Friend,  I  am  content  to  expose 
my  ignorance ;  requesting  that  as  a  friend 
you  would  set  me  right  where  you  think  I 
may  be  wrong.  ;^  '* 

We  both  agree,  that  solid  substantial  hap  - 
Z 


-  ■  ■  -  ■  --mm 

(     266     )  ' 

piness  cannot  be  found  in  the  enjoyment  of 
any,  or  every  temporal  good  :  God  as  the : 
fountain  and  centre  has  reserved  it  all  iri 
himself;  therefore  I  suppose  th^ttrue  jbappi?jess 
consists  u  holy  in  union  ard  communion  with 
bi77i  Is  a  hidden  life,  a  spiritual  blessirg,  such 
as  the  world  cannot  see  (except  by  the  fruits) 
but  is  wholly   transacted   between   God  ami 


the   soul ;   and  is  that   kingdom  of  heaven 
which  die    Lord  says  is  within;    or  as  the 
Church   service     expresses   it,   '*  A   peace 
which  passeth  all  understanding;'*  or  as   St.; 
Paul  expresses  it,  "A  kingdom  which  cannot 
be  moved,"   consisting  of  righteousness  and 
peace  and  joy  in  the  Holy   Ghost,  proceed- 
ing from  a  sense  Of  the  favour  and  approbar 
tion  of  God :    this  alone,    I   suppose  to   be 
true,   real  Happiness ;    sufficient  to  sweeteor 
every  bitter  in  life,  and  make  the  possessor 
happy  in  the  midst  of  triah  and  afflictions  ; 
but  as  this  is  wholly  spiritual,  and  we  by  na- 
ture wholly  carnal  i    I  do  not   think  that  na-. 
tural  reason  alone  can  either  direct  our  choice, 
or  enable  us  to  gain  this  great  end  :  tnan  by 
nature    is  dark    and    blind,   as    to    spiritual 
things,    and  not   capable    of   understanding 


(     267     ) 

ihcm,  until  enlightened  by  the  spirit  of  God; 
indeed  St.  Paul  tells   us,    the   natural   man 
cannot  know  these  things  (but  why  may  he 
not)  the  answer  is  plain  ;   "because  they  are 
spiritually   discerned."    1    Cor.  2   &    14.  If 
this  be   the  case,    how    shall  our   blindness 
find  out  the   right  path  ]  how  shall  we  be 
able   to  attain  this  desirable  state  ?   is  it  by 
endeavours  of  our  own,  by  mortifying  our- 
selves,  by    calling  our   reason   to  our   aid? 
Alas  my   friend,  this  philosophical    experi- 
.iiient  will  never  do ;  our  blessed  Lord  says, 
**  I  am  the  way,  the   truth,  and    the   life," 
let  us    then    in   secret  hunible  prayer,  bCw 
down  before  him  and  say,    ''  Lord  what  I 
know  not,  do  thou  teach  me;'\..our  bless- 
ed saviour  knowing  the  ignorance  of  the  hu- 
man heart,   promised  his    Disciples  to  send 
them   the   Holy   Ghost,  the  comforter;    to 
teach  them  all  these  things,  and  to  remain 
with  them,  as  his  gift  to  his   church,  to  the 
end  of  the  world;   not  to  the  Apostles  only, 
for  St.  Peter  informs  us,  that  '-  the  promise 
was  to  them,  and  to  their  chiklren,.  and  to 
all  that   arc  afar  off",  even  as  many  as  the ' 
Lord  our  God^shall  call."  Acts  2  &  39.  Bless^ 


(     268     ) 

cd  be  God  for  the  extent  of  this  blessed  prom- 
ise i  then  it  is  free  for  me^  for  my  friend,  foi 
all;  surely  then  it  is  the  will  of  our  God  that 
we  should  be  happy ;  let  us  not  refuse  our 
own  mercies,  or  delay  our  happiness,  by 
trying  to  overcome  our  corruptions  by  little 
and  little  ;  be  assured  my  Dear  friend  there 
is  a  shorter  way,  a  more  speedy  rem- 
edy ;  the  Lord  is  able  and  willing  to  destroy 
them  all  at  a  stroke ;  a  zvord,  a  foucbf  a  looky 
will  do,  when  the  soul  is  ivi/ll/ig.  to  be  made 
whole  in  God^s  o«n  v.cy :  O  may  we  be 
made  willing  in  this  day  of  his  power,  to  re- 
ceive, all  his  goodness  waits  to  give:... My 
thoughts  and  pen  have  run  greater  lengths 
than  I  at  first  intended,  but  hope  your  friend- 
ly hand  will  set  mc  right,  wliere  you  may 
differ  from  me ;  I  have  given  my  thoughts  free- 
ly, and  expect  and  wish  you  to  do  the  same, 
it  is  an  interesting  subject  to  us  both,  let 
all  shyness  be  done  away :  I  love  the  opin- 
ion,  the  advice,  the  reproofs  of  a  friend. 
May  the  Lord  grant  us  that  wisdom  which 
cometh  from  above,  that  we  may  act,  and 
speak,  and  think  in  all  things  agreeable  to 
his  Holy  and  Blessed  will.     I  am  &c. 

ELIZA  BENNJS 


(     269     j 

LETTER  CXT- 

Mrs.   Eliza  Bennis..,.to  Majar 

Limerick^  Februarij  5,  •- 

MY      DEAR   rraEND     ■  ; 

LOVE  to  your  sotil  obliges  me  to  un- 
dertake a   task  which  even  you  perhaps,  may 
be  tempted .  to  think  officious   and  needless ; 
,j^ut  |fkiip>i^  top  well  the  devices  of  Satan,  and 
ihe  many  dangers  a  soul  is  surrounded  with, 
w4ien  desirous  to  flee  from  the  wrath  to  conie, 
not  to  have  a  thousand  fears  for  you  ;   consid- 
er you  are  yet  in  the  Devil's  territories,  who 
our   Lord   teils  us  is  the  God  of  this  world: 
that  you  have  not  only  flesh  and  blood  to  whsb- 
tie  with,  but  as  the  Apostle  tells  us.     Prioci-^ 
palities  and  powers,  and  the  rulers  of  the  dark- 
ness .  of  this  world,  and  spiritual  wickeiiiiess 
in  high   places :    If  you    have   proposed   to 
yourself  an  easy    aud   quiet  way  of  going  to 
Heaven,  you  are  much. niirsta}cen:,rj?/w^/?2^er, 
the  way  to  the  Crown  y  is  by  th^  way  of  the 
Cross  y  pur  Lord  trod  it  before  us,  and  mark- 
ed it  out   for  us  to  follow  him;  and  though 
we  are  not  called  tg  die  as  he  did,  yet  we  are 

Z   2 


certainly  caUed  to  take  up  our  cross  whatever 
it  be:  to  deny  ourselves,  to  mortify  the  flesh 
with  %  affections  and  lusts,  to  keep  a  strict 
watch  over  every  motion  of  our  hearts,  and  to 
see  that  these  do  tend  God- ward  continually. 
The  Lord  has  done  great  things  for  you  in  a 
short  time,  be  thankful,  and  never  forget  such 
mercy.  Let  your  soul  lie  humble  at  the  feet 
of  Christ  continually,  renouncing  your  own 
wisdom,  and  submit  yourself  to  the  teachings 
of  his  spirit ;  do  not  imagine  that  you  are  now 
able  to  stand  alone,  that  you  are  strong  enough; 
and  happy  enough,  and  that  now  you  will 
keep  the  matter  wholly  between  God  and 
yourself,  having  no  need  of  any  outward  help; 
1  say  at  your  peril  be^vare  of  this  grand  delu- 
sion,, which  has  been  the  destruction  of  many 
souls,  the  strongest  christians  find  they  can* 
not  stand  alone,  and  do  still  learn  from,  and 
are  helped  by  the  very  weakest;  so  that  the 
Head  cannot  say  to  the  Foot,  ''  1  have  no^ 
need  of  thee"... Remember  the  helps  that  God 
provided  for  you,  wiien  your  soul  was  in  dis- 
tress ;  remember  how  these  were  blessed  to 
you,  and  think  what  would  be  your  case  if; 


(  2ri    ) 

you  had  not  happened  into  such  hands,  your 
might  perhaps  be  still  ^vadcing  in  the  debths 
of  distress:  but  the  Lord  had  mercy  on  you; 
and  still  he  has  provided  these  helps  for  you 
almost  every  where  ^  I  charge  you  therefore 
at  the  peril  of  your  soul  that  you  associate 
with  these  wheresoever  they  can  be  met  with 
in  your  travels,  and  that  you  be  diligent  in 
bearing  the  word  of  God  wherever  you  can: 
remember  these  are  means  of  improvement 
which  God  has  put  into  your  hands,  and  has 
promised  that  where  two  or  three  are  met  in 
his  name  there  he  will  be  in  the  midst:  then 
let  not  my  friend  be  absent ;  where  the  Lord 
and  his  people  are,  there  be:;  as  you  value 
your  souls  happiness,  and  remember  that 
every  omission  of  duty  is  a  commission  of  sin: 
where  these  helps  are  not  to  be  had,  the  Lord 
will  support  you  without  them;  but  let  it  be 
impressed  on  your  recollection,  that  I  now 
tell  you  before  hand,  when  you  can  have  them, 
Ht  vjill  not  suppon-jou  without  them... The 
Lord  has  given  you  a  talent  to  improve y  not 
to  bury  in  the  earth ;  beware  of  the  fate  of 
the  slothful  servant :  be  determined  to  be  as 
holy  and  happy  as  God  would  have  you  be, 
and  never  be  ashamed  of  your  Religiona 


(     272     ) 

Be  zealous  for  God,  and  he  will  support 
)'0u,  but  do  not  think  to  blend  the  esteem  of 
men' widi  the  favour  of  God... Give  yourself 
up  without  resene  to  the  Lord,  and  be  content 
to  be  accounted  any  thing  for  Christ's  sake; 
you  must  be  first  tried'  before  you  are  approv- 
ed, but  remember,  "  w^^^i"^  ^  man's  ways 
please  the  Lord,  he  maketh  even  his  enemies 
to  be  at  peace  with  him'\.and  the  sincere  soul 
who  i^ives  itself  up  wholly  to  be  the  Lord's 
without  making  an)^  conditions  with  God,  is 
best  provided  for.... Be  much  ifi  prayer,  read- 
ing the  Scriptures,  and  self-examination  :  ask 
yourself  often  that  question  which  our  Lord 
asked  his  disciples,  ('*  doye  now  believe".) 
Ask  your  own  heart ''  do  I  tio^iv  believe".  En- 
deavour to  keep  this  jewel  of  assurance  al- 
ways bright,  and  if  at  any  time  it  happens  to 
be  clouded,  prgy  it  clear  again;  and  open 
your  heart  always  to  some  Christian  friend, 
who  may  give  you  counsel,  and  pray  with  you 
and  for  you.. ..DC  punctual  to  the  horui*  of  ele- 
ven o'clock  (in  the  fore-noon)^  couiit^t^y bur 
privilege  to  meet  theit-in  secret,  wrth^ybur 
friends  before  the  thVoneof  ^ace-;  alftd4et'x)ur 
joint  petitions  go  up"  as  incense' before 'tlie 


(     273     ) 

Lord :  at  this  hour  we  retire  to  pray  earnest- 
ly for  each  other,  for  our  families,  for  the 
children  of  God  every  where,  and  for  the 
world  in  general,  and  be  thankful  to  God  even 
for  these  little  few  :... among  them  you  may 
experience  the  communion  of  Saints,  and  be 
assured  they  will  bear  you  upon  their  hearts 
continually  :  I  say,  be  punctual  to  this  houry 
and  be  thankful  for  it :  I  would  also  propose 
another  thing  to  you,  which  is  this;  you  are 
much  indebted  to  the  Lord  for  his  gracious 
dealings  towards  you,  1  would  then  advise 
you  to  set  apart  a  day  of  fasting  and  prayer, 
wherein  you  should  humble  yourself  before 
God,  as  a  lost  undone  sinner,  saved  by  meer 
unmerited  grace  and  favour;...!  think  next 
Friday  would  be  a  proper  day  for  this,  as  you 
will  by  then  be  settled  in  your  new  quarters, 
and  I  also  am  determined  to  fast  and  pray 
with  you  on  that  day,  and  will  engage  a  few 
more  to  bear  us  company  on  your  behalf :  and 
if  you  will  not  bear  us  company ,;  we  will  fast 
and  pray  for  you,  but  I  hope  you  will  make 
one  among  us,  and  in  so  doing  make  a  so- 
lemn surrender  of  yourself  to  be  the  Lord's  :.. 
remember  that  text,  *^  the  just   shalllive  by 


(      274     ) 

faith,  but    if  any  man   draw  back,   my    soui 
shall   have  no    pleasure  in     him,    sa'ith   the 

Lord'\ 

I  hope  by  this  time  my  friend  does  not 
think  I  have  said  too  much,  if  so  let  my  first 
apology  plead  for  me,  indeed  it  is  love,  for 
your  soul  which  obliges  me  to  it,  as  having 
myself  found  mercy  of  the  Lord,  and  know- 
ing the  human  heart,  and  the  subtilty  of  the 
enemy  of  souls  :...you  have  promised  to  write 
to  me,  which  promise  I  insist  on,  but  re- 
member I  do  not  want  a  complimentary  epis- 
tle, but  a  minute  account  of  your  state,  and 
the  dealings  of  God  with  you,  and  after  you 
have  perused  this  letter  often,  I  request  you 
may  frankly  and  freely  write  your  thoughts 
on  what  1  have  said,  and  your  objections  (if 
any  you  have)  without  the  least  reserve  :  and 
if  you  chose  to  receive  another  from  me,  let 
me  know  how  to  direct;. ...It  is  my  souls  de- 
sire that  you  may  stand  fast  in  the  liberty 
wherein  Christ  hath  made  you  free,  that  you 
may  never  again  be  entangled  by  the  bondage 
of  sin  :,..and  I  tell  you,  you  need  never  be  less 
happy  than  you  now  are.... But  you  may  be 
much  more  so,   if  vou  will  but  follow  the  di- 


^     275      ) 

rections  x^lready  given  :  ifyoii  will  not,  be' it. 
ut  your  peril  :...!  have  delivered  my  own  soul 
be  assured  that  I  shall  pray  for  you,  and  hope 
if  you  love  my  soul,  that  you  also  will  pray 
forme;  and  now  may  the  Lord  Jesus  who 
hath  purchased  you  with  his  blood,  and  is 
also  able  to  keep  you  by  his  Almighty  and 
powtrful  grace  keep,  sustain,  uphold  and 
preserve  you,  and  bring  you  at  last  to  his 
everlasting  kingdom  and  glory;  is  the  earnest, 
prayer  of  your. . .  AiTectionate, 

ELIZA  BENNIS. 


LETTER   CXII. 
Mrs  Eliza  Benn is... to  Mr. 

Limerick^  December  3. ^ 

Sir. 

IT  may  appear  strange  to  you,  to  re- 
ceive a  letter  from  a  person  with  whom  you 
have  had  but  a  few  hours  acquaintance,  but 
be  assured  it  comes  from  a  friendly  hand,^ 
with  (shall  I  say)  my  last  efforts  for  the  sal- 
vation of  your  soul,;. ..when  I  consider  every 
little  circumstance  attending  our.  seem- 
ingly accidental   meeting,   I  am    rather  led 


(     276     , 

to  think  it  entirely  providentiai ;  the  Lord 
who  can,  and  frequently  docs,  use  base  and 
foolish  instruments,  after  having  tried  ma- 
ny great  and  powerful  ones  with  you  at  last 
threw  you  into  my  hands;... the  knowledge 
I  then  received  of  your  state,  and  the  open- 
ness and  freedom  with  which  you  declared 
it,  has  made  me  some  way  interested  in 
your  souls  welfare ;  and  have  often  since 
found  my  heart  much  affected,  and  enabled 
to  plead  with  God  for  you,  and  still  (though 
painfully  disappointed  in  your  breach  of  pro- 
mise) I  cannot  give  you  up ;  the  thoughts 
of  your  being  eternally  damned  pierces  my 
very  soul.  O  why,  why  will  you  resolve 
to  perish?  Alas,  how  miserably  are  5^ou 
deceived  you  have  left  the  childrens'  bread 
to  feed  with  swine  on  husks !  and  are  you 
satisfyed?  I  know  you  are  not,  nor  never 
shall,  until  you  return  to  the  Lord  :  you  are 
one  of  those  he  complains  of,  for  commit- 
ing  two  evils;  you  have  left  the  fountain  of 
living  waters,  and  have  hewn  out  to  yourself 
broken  cisterns,  that  can  hold  no  water:... 
And  5^et  3'our  disappointments  have  not 
brought  you  back ;   you  persist  in  your  re- 


(     277     ) 

bellion  as  though  you  were  resolved  to  see 
it  out  with  God.  You  are  not  happy  (I 
know  you  are  not,)  your  most  social  plea- 
sures are  embittered  with  keen  remorse,  your 
sweetest  enjoyments  are  disturbed  with  pain- 
ful reflections  and  your  conscience  tells  you ^ 
the  curse  of  God  is  in  your  basket  and  in 
your  store,  and  pursues  you  as  a  rebel  where- 
ever  you  turn,  and  shall  certainly  continue 
to  do  so,  until  you  return  to  God :  What 
is  it  you  have  bartered  your  soul  for  ?  have 
you  got  what  you  expected  ?  has  not  the 
Devil  deceived  you  with  false  appearances  ? 
and  yet  you  have  not  returned !  O  ^vhat 
proficiency  might  you  have  made  in  the 
ways  of  God  had  you  continued  to  be  faith- 
ful to  his  grace  ;  how  would  his  love  sweet- 
en every  enjoyment,  lighten  eveiy  burden, 
and  make  even  difficulties  easy.  But  look 
up,  it  is  not  yet  too  late,  the  Lord  is  noiJi} 
willing  to  receive  you ;  take  the  prodigals 
resolution,  now  arise  and  go  to  your  Father, 
venture  on  his  mercy,  O  for  the  Lord's 
sake  delay  not :  come  now  resolve  this  mo- 
ment^ he  waits  to  receive  you  with  arms  of  love 
and  will  not  upbraid  you  for  all  that  is  past ! 
A  a 


(     278     ) 

O  let  there  be  joy  in  heaven  over  you,   let 
the  Lord  himself  rejoice  over  the  lost  sheep, 
over  the  purchase  of  his  own  blood :  does 
your  heart  answer  **  Amen  ?"   Are  yoti  now 
determined  to    venture  your   all  on  Christ 
without  looking  back,    or   desiring  to  feed 
again  on   the  dregs  of  your  sins  ?    then  be 
encouraged,  the  Lord   will  help   you,    only 
be  determined  :  cut  oiFthe  right  hand,  pluck 
out    the   right  eye,     give    yourself     with- 
out reserve  to    be  the  Lord's,  and  be  deter- 
mined  if  you  perish,  it  shall  be  at  his  feet ; 
but  what  shall  I  say  if  you  are  yet  undeter- 
mined,  halting  between  two  opinions  ;   sen- 
sible of  your   misery,   yet  unwilling  to  part 
it :  feeling   your  chains,  yet  loving  and  em- 
bracing them ;  if  this  be  the   case  be   assu- 
red  God  will  enter  into  judgment  with  you 
for  so   many   slights  of  his  offered  mercy : 
and  how  will  you  be  able  to  appear  ?  how 
answer  him    to   one  of  a   thousand :     how 
will  you  answer  the  solemn   promise    you 
made  me,  the  thirteenth  of  last  September ! 
when  the  Lord    touched   your    heart,    gave 
you  a  feeling  sense  of  your  state,  and  some 
earnest  desires  to   return:    I  say  remember 


(     279     } 

litie  promise  you  then  made  me  in  the  pre- 
saice  of  Gody  that  you  would  leave  your 
bins,  would  give  yourself  to  pra}'er,  and  as 
soon  as  you  should  go  back  to  Cork  would 
unite  again  with  the  children  of  God  to  seek 
the  salvation  of  your  soul :  I  demand  the 
performance ;  the  Lord  was  present,  and 
heard,  Q.nd  dcma?ids  it;  and  will  in  the  day 
of  Judgment  before  Angels,  men  and  devils 
require  it  at  your  bands :  and  shall  X  be  obli- 
ged to  witness  against  you  ?  indeed  the 
thought  pams  my  heart,  I.  would  rather  re- 
joice over  you.... I  cannot  give  you  up  and 
shall  not  cease  to  offer  up  my  poor  weak 
petitions  for  you  whilst  there  appears  any 
hopes  of  you:  but  if  you  are  proof  against 
all  that  God  has  done,  and  is  still  willing  to 
do,  your  damnation  be  upon  your  own 
head:  I  call  Heaven  and  Earth  to  record 
against  you  this  day,  that  I  have  delivered 
my  ow^n  soul,  and  am  clear  of  your  blood. 
Do  not  think  that  I  have  said  too  muchj 
your  own  conscience  shall  witness  for  me 
to  the  truth  of  all;  therefore  receive  it  in 
love,  and  let  it  have  its  desired  effect  ;./>per- 
^laps  it  mav  be  the  last  admonition  the  Lord 


(     280     ) 

may  see  fit  to  grant  you,  pray  over  it,  weep 
over  it,  and  be  thankful  to  God  for  it.  And 
if  your  heart  be  not  so  far  hardened  as  to 
take  offence  at  what  1  have  said,  I  entreat 
a  few  lines  from  you  by  post,  as  scon  as 
convenient....!  am  uith  sincere  desires  for 
your  souls  welfare 

Your  Assured  Friend. 

ELIZA  BENNIS. 


LETTER  CXIII. 

Mr.  John    McGregor lo    Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis. 

Limericky  September  1,   1790. 

FRIEND    OF    MY    HEART, 

I  AM  in  possession  of  a  detail  of  your 
sufferings,  since  you  left  this  City... Your  way 
for  many  years  has  been  strewed  with  thorns; 
this  is  a  part  of  your  father's  legacy  to  his 
dearest  children  :  if  we  be  without  affliction, 
then  are  we  bastards  and  not  sons... David  was 
scourged  in  his  Absalom,  Eli  in  his  two  sons, 
and  my  Dear  Sister  Bennis  in  her  E  :....But 
my  Dear  Friend,  there  is  much  more  for, 
than  against  you,  the  mercies  of  God  tq  you 
are  far  more  abundant  than  your  trials,  a  troop 


(     281      ) 

has  prevailed  against  Dan  ;  but  the  promise 
is,  that  Dan  shall  prevail  at  last,  this  is  com- 
fortable to  the  believing  soul;  when  your 
heart  is  overwhelmed  with  trouble,  put  your 
trust  in  the  Lord,  and  stay  yourself  on  your 
God. 

You  have  a  gracious  God  to  comfort  you 
his  ear  is  open  to  your  prayers,  and  he  will 
give  you  the  desire  of  your  heart.... You 
have  had  tlie  comfort,  the  great  comfgrt  of 
seeing  your  Husband  die  in  the  Lord,  that 
tender  and  affectionate  partner  of  forty-three 
years ;  for  w^iose  eternal  happiness  you  sent 
up  many  prayers,  you  have  lived  to  see  these 
prayers  fully  answered  :  O  may  my  latter  end 
be  like  his,  you  are  now  blessed  with  dutiful 
and  affectionate  children,  and  grand  children 
with  their  faces  Zion-ward^  determined  with 
Joshua  to  serve  the  Lord.... and  anxious  to 
^administer  to  your  comfort ;  take  lawful  plea- 
sure in  them,  and  be  co-workers  together  ia 
iove,  and  the  God  of  love  and  peace  shall  be 
with  you.  You  love  plain  dealing,  you  know 
me,  and  I  know  you;  let  not  tvvo  brands  in 
mercy  plucked  out  of  the  burning,  leap  into 
the  fire  again,  whose  fatal  efiects  v/e  feel  to  thi^ 
A   a  2 


(     282     ) 

day,  say  resolutely  from  your  heart,  '^  return 
to  thy  rest  O  my  soul,  for  the  Lord  hath  dealt 
bountifully  with  thee,  in  all  thy  troubles'% 
then  mercy  and  peace  shall  follow  thee  all  thy 
days,  and  thou  shalt  dwell  in  the  house  of  the 
Lord  forever. 

Now  let  me  say  something  concerning  my 

own    experience ;   and    O    may  the  spirit  of 

truth  guide  my  heart  and  pen.... The  day  you 

left  Limerick,  (to  reside  in  Waterford)  I  may 

say  as  Elisha  said  to  Gehazi,  "  went  not  mine 

heart  with  thee",    yes  my   selfish   heart,   I 

cried  outt  whose  parlour  can  I  now  turn  into 

a  study?  what  woman   will  throw  away  her 

work,  to  meditate  and  converse  with  me  on 

the  things  of  God,    and  consult   together  to 

make  our  calling  and  election  sure  ?  who  will 

now  counsel,  instruct,  or  admonish  me  ?  and 

spur  me  on  to  run  steadily  my  course  to  the 

end  ;  who  will  thrust  me  into  the  jail,  among 

the  malefactors  ?  to  the  barracks,  amongst  the 

soldiers  ?   to  sick  beds,  and  distressed  souls  ? 

this  have  you  often  done,    when  I  \vas   able, 

but  not  always  willing.. liave  I  not  rightly  sti- 

led   you  my  golden  spur,  lliat  often  brought 

(as  it  were)  blood,    but  never  left  a  festered 


(     283     ) 

wound  behind. ...  I  see  the  instability  of  human 
comforts,  I  may  say  with  the  Prophet,  "  he 
has  removed  my  lovers  into  a  corner,  that  he 
himself  might  be  my  lover,  councellor,  com- 
forter and  friend,"  my  all  in  all.... Blessed  be 
his  holy  name,  I  find  him  precious  to  my  soul 
his  holy  word  is  precious,  my  select  friends 
are  precious,  my  class  and  band  are  precious, 
the  preachers  being  primitive  are  precious 
and  the  soul  of  my  dear  friend  is  ^oery  pre- 
cious ;  and  God  is  witness  the  spiritual  and 
temporal  welfare  of  your  offspring  is  near  my 
heart.... Now  consider,  you  have  been  taking 
care  of  other  peoples  vine -yards  above  forty- 
years,  (and  so  have  I  in  a  measure),  is  it  not 
full  time  now,  that  we  should  seriously  look 
to  our  own  ;  to  beseech  the  heavenly  dresser 
to  give  us  grace  and  power  to  pluck  up  the 
thorns  and  thistles  from  the  root,  to  gather  the 
stones ;  and  earnestly  pray  the  divine  com- 
forter thoroughly  to  purge  our  hearts,  and 
sow  the  seeds  of  holiness  to  the  Lord  in 
them ;  without  which  no  man  can  see  his 
face  with  joy  :  my  sincere  love  to  the  Water- 
ford  preachers  and  people,  remind  them  that 
this  is  a  year  j  of  release  and  thanksgiving  for 


C     28-4     ) 

their    passage   out  of  trouble  let  us  meet  each 
other  in  spirit  for  the  prosperity  of  the  Gospel. 

My  affectionate  love  to  all  your  children, 
while  I  live  1  shall  not  forget  you  or  them  at 
the  throne  of  grace  :...!  am  old  and  feeble, 
last  week  measured  my  seventy -sixth  year  ; 
O  Lord  be  merciful  to  me  a  sinner  ;  the  so- 
ciety here  prospers,  the  select  liand  meets  re- 
gular, but  I  can  seldom  be  with  them  ;  I 
generally  meet  my  class  in  my  bed-chamber, 
often  in  my  bed  ;  blessed  be  God  for  the  love 
that  subsists  among  us,  they  will  not  let  me 
give  them  up  until  I  am  removed  by  my 
Heavenly  Father,  which  I  expect  will  not  be 
long,  O  may  1  then  be  ready  to  give  up  my 
charge  with  joy, ...to  cease  at  once  to  work 
and.  live  :...and  as  I  never  expect  to  see 
you  in  this  dying  world,  O  let  us  meet  in  the 
house  not  made  with  hands,  to  part  no  more 
forever...."  There  shall  we  sit  and  sing  and 
tell,  the    wonders  oflmmanuaP'. 

Farewell  my  Dear  old  fellow  traveller,  my 
friend,  my  Sister,  farewell  : 

JOHN  MCGREGOR. 


(      285     ) 

LETTER  CXIV. 

Mr.  Richard  Concly...,to  Mrs.  Eliza Bennis, 

Limerick  March  27,  1790. 
THE  distress  of  my  Dear  Friend  is  such 
that  the  bare  account  of  it  wrung  my  poor 
soul,  how  much  more  poignant  must  the  an- 
guish of  my  friend  be  ?  you  have  acted  with 
christian  fortitude,  patience  is  invincible,  and 
triumphs  against  all  attacks... The  rains  de- 
scended whilst  you  were  yet  in  Limerick ; 
when  you  were  leaving  it,  the  floods  came, 
but  now  in  Waterford  the  winds  blow  and 
beat  against  that  house,  and  it  falls  not,  for  it 
is  founded  on  a  rock !  when  the  enemy  sees 
that  you  can  suffer,  then  he  will  cease  to  har- 
rass  you.... When  he  despairs  of  exciting 
murmering,  or  impatience,  then  he  will  lay 
aside  his  weapons.... The  sight  of  God,  that 
you  are  still  flivoured  with  in  your  greatest 
afflictions,  will  powerfully  help  you  to  bear, 
and  especially  whilst  you  see  that  this  bitter 
potion  is  sent  to  procure  eternal  health,  that 
suffering  is  the  only  way  to  glory,  and  that 
light  and  momentary  pains  shall,  be  succeed, 
ed  by  infinite  pleasure  and  eternal  happiness. 


(     26G     ) 

i^  we  truly  love,  and  are  really  pleased  and 
satisfied  with  the  will  of  God,  v.  e  cannot  be  of- 
fended with  the  instruments  God  makes  use 
of  to  execute  his  will. ...That  which  happens 
to  us  from  moment  to  moment,  is  the  will  of 
God  concerninj^  us..., This  is  so  universally 
true  that  excepting  our  own  sins,  that  which 
comes  upon  us  from  the  sins  of  others,  is  the 
manifest  will  of  God  concerning  us.... It  was 
in  view  of  this  truth,  that  our  blessed  Lord 
called  his  sacred  passion,  which  was  procured 
by  the  wickedest  of  men,  "  a  cup  which  his 
Father  had  given  him  to  drink ''....  And  that 
David  ventured  to  say  that,  the  Lord  had  bid 
Shimei  to  curse  him. 

I  am  commanded  from  Heaven  to  say  to 
the  righteous,  **  //  shall  be  well  with  them*'''* 
I  have  been  tossed  with  you  on  a  boisterous 
ocean,  and  with  you,  I  lock  to  rest  in  due 
time,  in  a  quiet  Haven,  there  to  lie  at  an- 
chor in  the  bosom  of  God.... There  remain- 
eth  a  rest  to  the  people  of  God,  rest !  O  how 
sw-eet  is  rest  to  the  solicitous  mariner,  and 
how  welcome  is  the  harbour  to  him,  espe- 
cially after  having  been  long  beaten  with 
storms  and    tempests  !  and   how  sweet  nill 


(    2sr    ) 

rest  be  to  the  poor  tempted,  troubled,  labour- 
ing, travelling  christian ;   whose   whole  life 
has  been  little   else  but  trouble,  labour  and 
sore  travail ;  who   could  scarce    find  all  his 
days  a  resting  place  for  the  sole  of  his  foot 
the  world  as  to    him  being  covered  with  a 
deluge.... Death  whenever  it  comes  will  turn 
our   conflicts    into    victory;    this    Aceldama 
(this  field  of  blood)  into  a  mount  of  triumph, 
and  a  throne  of  glory..,, We  have    now  to 
condict  with    corruptions    and  temptations, 
with  afflictions   and  Devils  ;  but  yet  a  little 
while,  and  the  palm  shall  be  put  into   our 
hand:  we  shall    triumphantly   cry.  Victory, 
Victory,  forever!    O    how  sweet  is    victory 
to  a  soldier  that  has  been  long  and  hard  put 
to  it  in  battle... Let  us  hold  out,  and  the  vic- 
tory will  assuredly  be  ours:  believe  me  your 
Affectionate  &c. 

RICHARD  CONDY. 


LETTER  CXV. 
Mr.  Richard  Condy...to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis* 

Limerick,  June  11,    1790. 
My  very  Dear  Friend. 

YOU  have  borne  the   pelting  of  many 
a  pitiless  storm:    let  not  your  wonted  resig- 


(     288     ) 

nation  and  patience  slip  from  you.  By  how 
much  the  more  reiterated  our  afflictions  are, 
so  much  the  more  difficult  is  it  to  retain  and 
exercise  the  weapons  of  our  warfare.... The 
continual  drop  will  fret  marble  :,..but  still 
be  it  remembered,  that  as  the  gospel  hath  allot- 
ed  us  many  tribulations,  so  it  hath  furnish- 
ed us  with  many  supports....  A  mighty  God  ! 
who  is  the  rock  of  ages.  A  merciful  High- 
Priest !  who  having  been  tempted  himself 
knows  how  to  succour  those  that  are  tempt- 
ed. Gracious  experiences ;  this  last  support 
Experience,  hath  all  the  rest  in  it.  A  pa- 
tient experienced  Christian  hath  proved  all 
things;  ^\hat  they  are,  and  the  w^orst  they 
can  do.  He  hath  proved  the  world,  and 
sees  the  fashion  of  it  passing  away  ;  he  sees 
all  passing,  he  sees  the  blackest  clouds, 
as  flying  clouds:  He  looks  at  the  clear  be- 
yond the  clouds.  Open  the  eye  of  thy  faith 
thou  Soldier  of  Jesus  and  say,  **  Babylon 
is  fallen!  is  fallen!"  not  only  it  shall  fall,  but 
it  is  already  fallen.  When  the  enemy  hath 
gotten  the  greatest  advantage  of  you,  of  the 
sun,  of  the  wind,  of  the  ground;  when  he 
presseth  with  most  violence,  ^vith  most  fury 


(     289     ) 

upon  you,  let  your  believing  soul  take 
sanctuary  here../*  When  my  flesh  and  my 
heart  faileth,  God  is  the  st  rength  of  my  hearty 
SLud  my  portion  forever.^^  I  love  you  the  more, 
by  how  much  the  more  your  sufferings  in- 
crease- and  how  much  more  Hi??!  whose 
marks  these  are.  **  The  sufferings  of  this 
life  are  not  worthy  to  be  compared  with 
th  e  glory  that  shall  be  revealed,"^ let  this 
comfort  you  :...  fare  well  my  Dear  Sister,  you 
have  a  large  share  in  the  prayers  and  affec- 
tion, of  your  sincere  friend  and  Brother. 
RICHARD  CONDV. 


LETTER   CXVl. 
Mr.  Walter  Griffith.. .to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis. 
Dublin,  February  9,   1792. 

MY  DEAR  SISTER  BENNIS. 

YOUR  Fadier  and  God  seems  to  have 
chosen  you  and  yours  in  the  furnace  of  af- 
fliction. You  have  been,  you  are  still  hon- 
oured by  being  called  to  sufier;  **  To  you 
it  is  given  in  behalf  of  Christ,  not  only  to 
believe  but  to  suffer  for  his  sake."  But  be 
not  discouraged  vou  now  drink  a  mixed 
B  b 


(     290     ) 

dip,  you  shall  hereafter  drink  it  unmixed ; 
and  the  greater  quantity  of  bitter  in  your 
cup  now,  the  larger  will  the  cup  of  unmix- 
ed bliss,  which  God  v.  ill  put  into  your  hand, 
hereafter  be.  **  Our  present  light  affliction, 
which  is  but  for  a  moment^  worketh  out  for 
us  2(far  more  exceeding  and  eternal  "weight 
of  giory  !*'  what  an  amazing  disproportion 
between  the  sufferings  and  the  glory  ?  the 
sufferings  **  light"  the  giory  '  *  a  far  more 
exceeding  weight. "^^  The  sufferings  momen- 
tary, the  exceeding  weight  of  glory  "-Eter- 
nal,''^ May  you  and  yours  have  such  views 
of  that  glory,  as  to  be  enabled  to  say... 

•'  Ihankful  I  take  the  cup  from  thee, 
"  Prepared  and  mingled  by  thy  skill." 

I  have  sometimes  thought,  that  we  are  in 
danger  of  building  our  opinion  of  our  present 
state,  and  our  hope  of  future  glor)^  on  the 
measure  of  religious  joy  VvC  feel,  rather  than 
on  our  conformity  to  the  image  of  God,  or 
cur  earnestness  in  pursuing  it.  I  grant  that 
^vhere  conformity  to  the  image  is,  there  isjv.y' 
also  ;  but  we  may  have  that  conformity,  and 
not  the  degree  of  joy  we  wish  for.  When 
you  tell  me  ^'  I  think  my  heart  is  sincere  and 


(     291     ) 

honest  before  him"  and  'Mie  enabled  me  to 
renew  my  covenant  in  the  sincerity  of  my 
heart  without  one  negative  in  my  whole  souP' 
and  ^'  upon  the  strictest  scrutiny  into  myself 
I  do  not  find  my.  lieart  cleave  to  any  thing 
here  belov/,  ordtrsirous  to  indulge  any  sin,  I 
feel  my  will  wholly  given  up  to  my  God,  and 
desirous  that  his  will  may  be  done  in  me*'  I 
cannot  entertain  the  smallest  doubt  of  your 
title  to,  and  meetness  for  glory... »Yqu  ask 
then  *'  why  have  I  not  the  comforts  or  sweet 
consolations  which  I  have  had  in  times  past''? 
I  answer,  you  are  not  entirely  without  joy, 
though  perhaps  you  have  not  that  measure  of 
it  you  once  had.  Besides,  you  were  once 
without  those  deep  distresses  and  heavy  afflic- 
tions, with  which  you  have  been  exercised 
for  some  time  back ;  and  having  outward  and 
inward  peace,  it  is  not  to  be  wondered  at,  that 
your  joy  has  been  greater  than  when  ^\'ading 
thro*  deep  waters:  Upon  the  whole,  I  think  you 
have  much  cause  of  thankfulness  to  God,  for 
bearing  you  so  long  abov^  the  water  floods ;. 
you  have  endured  many  storms,  nor  are  you 
beyond  their  re^ch  yet;  you  have  a  body 
''  dead  because  of  sin",  subject  to  death,  fil- 


(     292     ) 

led  with  the  seeds  of  it,  and  rapidly  tending  to  « 
it.... Be  thankful  to  God  for  having  kept  you 
so  long  from  sinking  beneath   the  weight  of 
various  afflictions ;  and  fear  not  but  he  will 
still  deliver  you. 

That  God  may  ever  satisfy  you  and  yours 
Avith  the  fullness  of  his  divine  presence,  is  the 
earnest  wish  and  ardent  prayer  of  your  truly 
AiTectionate  Brother : 

WALTER  GRIFFITH. 


LETTER    CXVn. 

Mr,  Joseph  6'r....to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis. 

The  following  letter  from  a  well  meaning 
Papist,  is  inserted  merely  to  introduce  the 
answer. 

Carrick,  No'vember  23,  1791. 

BEAR    JIADAItf, 

I  Make  no  doubt  you  will  be  a  good  deal 
surprised  (perhaps  offended)  at  the  liberty  I 
I  now  take.  But  when  I  assure  you  my  motive 
proceeds  solely  from  the  sincere  good  washes 
I  entertain  for  you,  and  your  worthy  family; 
Avhose  present  and  future  happiness,  it  would 
give  me  the  greatest  pleasure  to  promote,  (even 
in  a  small  degree,)  this  being  admitted,  you 


(     290     ) 

w  ill  I  hope  the  more  readily  excuse  my  free* 
dom  in  laying'  before  you  the  opinion  T  enter- 
tain of  the  religion  I  am  through  the  mercy  of 
God  fortunate  enough  to  be  a  member  of,  and 
which  from  my  soul  I  wish  it  may  please  the 
Lord  one  day  to  call  you  to.... It  is  clear  from 
scripture  beyond  the  possibility  of  doubts  that 
Christ  established  a  church  that  did  from  his 
time  exist,  does  exist,  and  will  exist  until  the 
consummation  of  ages ;  and  that  that  church  is 
one  holy  catholic,  and  apostolic.  That  there  is 
one  God,  one  faith,  and  one  baptism ;  and  that 
without  faith  it  is  impossible  to  please  God. 
There  surely  then  cannot  be  two  or  more 
faiths,  whereby  we  may  please  him  ?  No, 
there  is  but  one.  Surely  then  it  is  the  most 
important  interest  of  every  christian,  to  see 
that  he  belongs  to  the  true  church  of  Christ. 
In  St.  Mathew,  Chapter  16  verse  15  '^  Jesus 
saith  to  them."  But  whom  do  you  say  that  I 
am*'  16.  *'  And  Simon  Peter  ansv.'cred  and 
said,  thou  art  Christ,  the  son  of  the  Ywmz 
God"  17  '*  And  Jesus  answering  said  unto 
liim,  blessed  art  thou  Simon  Bar-Jona,  be- 
cause flesh  and  blood  hath  not  reveale:!  it  unto 
thee,  butmv  Father  which  is  in  Heaven''.  IS. 
B  b  2 


(     294     ) 

And  I  say  also  unto  thee  ;  that  thou  art  Peter, 
and  upon  this  rock  I  will  build  my  church, 
and  the  gates  of  Hell  shall  not  prevail  against 
it".  19  "  And  I  will  give  unto  thee  the  keys  of 
the  kingdom  of  Heaven ;  and  whatsoever  thou 
shalt  bind  on  earth,  shall  be  bound  in  Heaven ; 
and  whatsoever  thou  shalt  loose  on  earth,  shall 
be  loosed  in  Heaven,"     Which  sacred  texts 
prove  as  clearly  as  noon  day  light,  the  esta- 
blishment of  a  church,  by  whom  founded,  and 
on  whom  built. ...If  it  be  objected  that  after 
this  Peter  denied  Christ,  and  was  rebuked  by 
him,  let  it  be  remembered  that  the  same  power 
and  mercy  which  changed  a  persecuting  Saul 
into  a  great  preacher  and  apostle  could  very 
well  make  an  Apostle  who  had  never  lost  his 
faith,   the    head  and  the    foundation  of    his 
church,  which  surely  Christ  did  to  Peter  ;  at 
same  time  giving  to  him,  and  his  successors, 
ihe  keys  of  the  Kingdom  of  Heaven,  saying, 
**  go  preach,  and  teach  all  nations,  baptizing 
them  in  the  name  of  the  Father,   and  of  the 
.son,  and  of  the  holy  Ghost,''  *'  Whatsoever  you 
bind  on  earth  shall  be  bound  in  Heaven,  and 
whatsoever  you  loose  on  earth  shall  be  loosed 
:n  Utav?n>,.. which  clearly  proves  the  power 


(     295     ) 

given  by  Christ  to  his  Apostles  and  their  suc- 
cessors, lawfully  ordained  in  the  holy  catholic 
church,  of  absolving  from  sin,  when  the  peni- 
tent sueing  for  absolution  has  a  sincere  and 
hearty  sorrow  for  past  sins,  with  a  firm  pur- 
pose and  resolution  to  avoid  sin  and  its  occa- 
sions in  future... .for  without  those  previous 
dispositions  on  the  part  of  the  penitent,  no 
power  on  earth  whether  Pope  Priest  or  Bishop 
can   validly   give   absolution  to  any  person 
whatever ;  and  this  is  an  article  of  the  catholic 
faith,... Now  that  the  church  has  been  visible 
in  all  ages  since  its  establishment,  is  evident 
by  the  regular  succession  of  Popes,  Priests, 
and  Bishops  :  from  St,  Peter  down  to  the  pre- 
sent day;  joined  to  the  united  testimony  of  the 
holy  fathers  in  every  age.... which  several  tes- 
timonies have  been  confirmed  by  the  blood  of 
innumerable  martyrs,  who  sealed  their  faith 
with  their  Blood  in  every  age  of  the  church  of 
Christ,  since  its  establishment.... That  church 
has  been  guided  by  the  spirit  of  God,  which 
as  promised  will  lead  her  into  all  truth,  even 
unto  the  end  of  the  world. 

In  St.  Mathew,  are  we  not  directed  to  ap- 
ply to  the  church?   and  is  it  not  adde4  that 


(     296     ) 

'*  he  that  will  not  hear  the  church,  let  him  be 
unto  thee  as  an  heathen  and  a  publican."....! f 
the  church  was  invisible  how  could  she  be 
applied  to  ?  how  could  she  be  heard  ?  It  is 
then  evident  that  the  church  since  its  esta- 
blishment was  always  visible,  and  \^ill  conti- 
nue so ;  and  that  church  consists  of  the  great 
body  of  catholics  spread  over  the  believing 
world ;  and  reunited  under  one  visible  liead 
the  Pope.... Compared  to  which,  all  other  sects 
added  together,  are  but  few  in  number;  and 
whose  single  point  of  unity,  seems  to  be  their 
unjust  and  uncharitable  aspersions  against 
their  mother  church  ;  fi  om  whom  every  one 
of  them  may  be  said  to  have  separated.... But 
finding  myself  passing  the  bounds  of  a  letter, 
I  will  come  to  a  conclusion  by  earnestly  re- 
commending to  you ;  If  you  should  not  for  the 
present  be  disposed  to  think  as  I  do,  not  to 
refuse  at  least  recommending  yourself  to  God 
morning  and  evening  in  this,  or  some  such 
manner.... O  God  who  seest  the  secrets  of  all 
hearts,  and  knowest  the  sincerity  of  mine,  be 
graciously  pleased  to  compassionate  thy  ser- 
vant; and  if  I  am  not  in  the  right  faith,  be 
graciously  and  mercifully  pleased  to  lead  me 


(     297     ) 

into  it  f  assuring  thee,  that  so  soon  as  thy  holy 
^vill  shall  be  manifested  unto  me  I  shall  hum- 
bly and  cheariully  embrace  and  follow  it.".... 
Some  such  prayer  humbly  and  perseveringly 
addressed  to  God,  cannot  possibly  fail  of  suc- 
cess or  be  by  any  considered  improper,  for  tho' 
man  may  deceive;  surely  God  never  will. 
In  finishing  this  letter  I  once  more  beg  of  you 
not  to  be  offended,  nor  to  forget  that  counsel 
should  not  be  despised,  though  proceed- 
ing from  the  mouth  of  a  fool.  That  every 
blessing  and  happiness  may  attend  you  and 
your  worthy  family,  is  the  sincere  wish  of 
yours  £s?c.  J  :  C : 

P :  S.  If  at  any  time  you  would  wish  to  see 
a  full  account  of  our  faith.... Gother's  catholic 
christian  instructed  *'  Doctor  Hay's  sincere 
christian. "....or  ''  Maning's  short  way  to  end 
disputes''.... will  fully  satisfy  you. 


LETTER  CXVIII. 
Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis....to  Mr.  J.  €. 

Waterfcrd^  November  26,  1791. 

iJEAH  SIR. 

I  AM  much  obliged,  by  your  kind  soli- 
citude concerning  my  Eternal  welfare,  and  re- 


(     298     ) 

ceive  your  letter,  as  the  effusion  of  a  friendly 
heart.... But  as  I  v/as  ever  averse  to  controver- 
sy, I  shall  not  ansvver  yours  as  a  clisputantj 
(there  is  too  much  of  that  already  in  the  world) 
not  from  the  v.eakness  ci'  my  cause,  but  from 
a  sense  of  my  own  inability  to  defend  it.... My 
faith  is  not  founded  on  St.  Peter,  or  St.  Paul  ^ 
on  pope  or  bishop  of  any  sect ;  but  on  the 
Lord  Jesus  Christ  alone  who  died  for  my 
sins,  and  rose  again  for  my  j  ustification,  and 
now  intercedes  for  me  at  the  right  hand  of 
God.. ..To  him  alone  my  soul  looks  for  par- 
don, and  acceptance,  and  am  not  disappoint- 
ed....! find  access  to  him  by  faith,  and  every 
trial  is  sweetened  by  a  sense  of  his  favour.... 
I  find  many  deficiencies  in  myself  daily;  I 
come  to  him  by  faith,  under  a  deep  sense  of 
my  necessities,  and  he  docs  not  send  me 
empty  away  ;  but  enables  me  to  rejoice  hum- 
bly before  him.. ..My  heart  is  open  in  prayer 
to  him,  for  «// mankind....!  believe  through 
l^is  merit  and  death,  all  might  be  saved  ;  that 
all  are  not  saved,  is  owing  to  their  own  wil- 
.ful  rebellion  against  God,  and  not  to  their 
not  being  members  of  any  particular  com- 
iTiunity...,!  would  not  dare   to  confine  the 


C     299     ) 

mercy  of  God  to  any  particular  body  of 
people;  nor  would  I  strain  any  text  in  the 
book  of  God  to  exclude  any  from  his  mer- 
cy....! belive  the  whole  Christian  church  of 
every  denomination  is  the  visible  church  of 
Christ ;  But  that  thT)se  only  who  worship 
him  in  spirit  and  in  truth,  who  love  him, 
and  keep  his  commandments,  are  mem*bers 
of  his  invisible  church,  and  are  accepted  of 
him.... This  is,  and  has  been  for  many  years, 
my  faith  ;  In  which  I  find  myself  happy  in 
life,  and  willing  to  die  ;  and  by  the  grace  of 
my  God  resolved  not  to  change.... Wishing 
you  all  happiness  in  time  and  Eteniity....! 
am  Dear  Sir.... Your  Friend  and  humble 
Servant. 

ELIZA  BENNIS, 


LETTER  CXiX. 
Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis...to  Mr. 

The  Editor  believes  the  following  concise 
account  of  Mrs.  Bennis's  experience,  is  the 
one  alluded  to,  in  Letter  3d.  and  hopes  it 
will  not  be  found  vnhitej'esting. 

Limerick^  October  18,  1765. 
I  WAS  very  young  when  the  spirit  of 
God  began  to  strive  with  me.... In  my  child- 


(     3Q0     )   . 

hood  I  had  many  drawings,  which  then  pas- 
sed unheeded  by  me... When  I  was  about 
ten  or  eleven  years  old,  I  threw  aside  the 
forms  of  prayer  which  I  had  learned,  and 
prayed  extempore  when  alone ;  I  found  no 
form  of  words  could  affect  my  heart,  or  ex- 
press my  wants,  like  those  which  proceeded 
from  a  feeling  sense  of  my  wants.  I  was  of- 
ten given  to  see  myself  a  sinner,  and  to  trem- 
ble under  the  wrath  of  God  ;  but  these  con- 
victions were  not  lasting.  Religion  did  in- 
<leed  appear  to  me  in  a  most  amiable  and  de- 
sirable light,  at  the  same  time  that  I  found  it 
a  drudgery  to  myself....!  was  fond  of  read- 
ing, and  would  sometimes  read  books  of 
Divinity  for  want  of  others,  and  would  then 
observe  the  effect  that  these  had  upon  my 
mind  different  from  the  others,  in  calming 
my  passions,  collecting  my  ideas,  governing 
my  will,  and  bringing  such  a  sweet  serenity 
into  my  soul,  as  enabled  me  to  go  through 
my  little  domestic  duties  with  composure 
and  chearfulness  ;....Yet  could  not  confine 
myself  to  such  books....!  was,  I  belive  about 
thirteen  or  fourteen  years  old,  when  Mr. 
Allen's  alarm  came  to  mv  hands,  this  was  the 


(     301      ) 

first  alarm  my  conscience  got.  When  I  had 
read  but  a  part,  1  began  to  fear  exceedingly, 
and  got  into  such  a  tremor  that  my  teeth 
chattered  together,  and  every  hmb  trembled, 
as  in  a  strong  ague -fit.  I  then  resolved  to 
read  no  more,  least  (according  to  the  authors 
observation)  I  should  be  accountable  for  read- 
ing and  rejecting  the  means  of  information 
and  instruction,  laid  down  in  this  book  at 
the  day  of  Judgment... .But  I  was  immedi- 
ately given  to  sec,  that  I  must  be  accounta- 
ble for  every  means  of  instruction  and  infor- 
mation which  /  might  have,  as  well  as  for 
those  which  I  really  had,  I  saw  that  wilful 
ignorance,  was  nothing  less  than  wilful  dam- 
nation ;  and  that  it  was  my  duty  to  enquire 
and  make  all  possible  and  diligent  search  af- 
ter truth  ;  as  I  should  be  (in  the  sight  of 
God)  clear  only  of  those  things,  which  after 
diligent  searching  I  could  not  find  out.  These 
thoughts  made  nie  take  up  the  book  again; 
which  I  then  read  with  much  prayer,  be- 
seeching the  Lord  to  enlighten  my  under- 
istanding,  and  to  teach  me  his  will.  But 
though  I  prayed  for  it,  I  was  not  attentive 
as  I  should  to  the  teachings  of  his  spirit ; 
C  c 


(      302      ) 

neither  had  I  any  other  teacher  to  direct  me 
what  to  do.... I  was  for  some  years  thus  tos- 
ed  too  and  fro,  during  which  time  I  had  ma- 
ny discoveries  made  to  the  eye  of  my  mind  ; 
siich  as  the  purity  of  God,  who  I  saw  could 
not  connive  at  sin.  The  justice  of  God  in 
punishing  the  wicked,  I  saw  that  the  soul 
that  sinneth  must  die. 

These  considerations  made  me  often  trem- 
ble before  God,  and  envy  the  brute  Creation, 
whose  miseries  were  to  end  with  their  lives, 
and  who  I  often  thought  were  higlily  favour- 
ed of  God  in  this  respect....!  was  given  to 
see  (in  a  great  measure)  what  a  christian 
Ought  to  be,  both  as  to  his  outward  deport- 
ment, and  purity  of  his  intentions,  I  was  led 
in  some  degree  into  the  spirituality  of  the 
law,  I  saw  that  in  the  sight  of  God,  every 
angry  person  was  a  murderer  :  every  cove- 
tous person  an  Idolater;  every  lewd  look 
or  desire  was  in  his  sight  an  act  of  adultry ; 
that  mentioning  the  name  of  God  irreverent- 
ly, would  be  noticed  by  him  as  a  breach  of 
his  absolute  command...!  read  die  scriptures 
constantly,  often  with  tears,  sometimes  on 
my   knees  J   and  was  led  to  consider  them 


(      303     ) 

attentively.  Yet  my  understanding  being 
shallow,  I  still  remained  ignorant  of  the 
terms  of  my  salvation,  I  saw  indeed  in  the 
scriptures,  that  without  faith  it  is  impossi- 
ble to  please  God ;  and  that  whoever  is  sav- 
ed,  it  must  be  through  faitli;  but  what  this 
faith  was,  I  could  not  mnke  out.  I  saw 
clearly  that  it  must  be  more  than  a  bare 
outward  profession;  the  nominal  christians 
all  around  me  convinced  me  of  this  ;  not  see- 
ing any  among  the  whole,  whose  lives  I 
thought  agreeable  to  the  scriptures,  which 
I  was  given  to  see  must  be  the  touch- 
stone. The  definition  of  faith,  which  I 
had  learned  in  my  catechism,  I  could  not 
clearly  understand,  and  some  sermons 
which  I  had  heard  on  faith  were  not  at 
all  satisfactory....!  could  give  my  assent 
and  consent  to  every  thing  mentioned  in 
the  scriptures ;  yet  found,  and  felt,  that  I 
was  not  saved  from  my  sins,  I  wanted  to 
fmd  out  that  faith  u  hich  purifies  the  heart, 
for  I  saw  that  a  bare  belief  could  not.  But 
who  to  enquire  of,  I  knew  not,  therefore  was 
constrained  to  keep  all  these  things  to  my- 
self.    Neither  do  I  think  it  was  visible  in  my 


(      304     ) 

outward  deportment,  for  both  my  heart  and 
my  life  remained  unchanged...!  saw  myself 
a  sinner.  Yet  I  continued  in  sin,  still  doing  the 
things  for  which  I  still  condemned  myself; 
my  religion  was  by  iits,  the  spirit  of  God 
w^ould  sometimes  awaken  me  to  such  a  deep 
sense  of  my  sinfulness  as  to  make  me  fear 
and  tremble  ;  then  I  would  resolve  to  be 
more  frequent  in  prayer,  and  reading  the 
Bible,  to  watch  more  narrowly  over  my 
words  and  actions,  and  to  be  more  circum- 
spect in  all  my  behaviour.... But  this  would 
not  last  long,  I  would  soon  grow  weary 
^gain  until  another  loud  call  from  God  w  ould 
again  rouse  me  cut  of  my  lethargy;  then 
I  would  again  determine,  and  again  grow 
careless.  I  found  the  truth  of  the  Apostles 
words  *'  when  I  would  do  good,  evil  is  pres- 
ent with  me,"  so  that  sometimes  my  life 
was  very  bitter  to  me  ,  in  this  distress  I 
would  often  open  the  Bible,  to  try  what 
text  would  come  first  to  me.  and  if  it  was 
a  comfortable  one,  I  would  put  it  away,  as 
thinking  it  not  intended  for  me ;  but  if  it 
was. a  condemning  one,  I  readily  took  it  as 
spoken  to,  and  intended  for  me  ;  and  would 


(     305     ) 

weep  and   lament  over  it,   because   of  my 
wretched  sinfulness. 

Once   after    much   trouble   of  soul,    the 
Lord  did  sweetly  attract  my  heart,  and  incline 
it  to  follow  him,    and  in  receiving  the  Sa- 
crament, did  enable  me  to  take  Christ  as  it 
were  in  my  arms,  and   offer  him  up  to  the 
Father,  as  my  propiciation.     Here  my  bur- 
den fell    off,   and    my  heart  was   filled  with 
such  love,  joy,  and  comfort,    as  I  never  be- 
fore   experienced...!   looked  for    my    sins, 
but  they   were  all  gone,   and  I  could  only 
rejoice  in  the  Lord,   with  joy  inexpressible... 
I  found  at  the  same  time  a  clear   sense  of 
pardon;   a  testimony   within   that   my   sins 
were    forgiven.     But    this   made   me   start, 
thinking  it    a  presumption,  and  therefore  I 
continually  put  it  away,  and  would  not  re- 
ceive this   blessing.. ..(this   was   the   second 
time  that  I  attended  the  Lord's  table;  and  I 
was  then  in   my    fifteenth  year)    for   some 
time  I  was  very  happy,  and  meeting  with  a 
covenant,  in  Mr.  Allen's  writings,  to  which 
my  whole  soul  acquiesced,  I  wrote  it  out, 
4iud  entered   into  the  same  solemn  covenant 
with  my  God,  to  which   I  subicribed   my  i 
C  c2 


(     306     ) 

name,  on  my  knees,  and  with  much  pray- 
er; being  determined  to  Hve  wholly  devo- 
ted to  him....O  what  a  sweet  time  I  then 
had !  the  Lord  did  indeed  kiss  me  with  the 
kisses  of  his  love;  and  though  I  have  often 
since  experienced  large  manifestations  of  his 
grace  and  presence,  I  think  none  ever  ex- 
ceeded this.  I  have  often  looked  back  on  it 
with  a  pleasing  regret.... But  in  a  little  time 
I  again  grew  careless,  though  I  had  still  many 
comfortable  visits  from  God,  yet  continually 
condemned  for  my  unfaithfulness.  I  had 
many  sweet  retired  hours  in  the  garden,  and 
in  the  fields  quite  alone,  where  I  found  it 
sweet  indeed  to  read,  and  pray,  and  medi- 
tate.  Yet  all  this  passed  unknown  to,  and 
unheeded  by  any.... I  then  often  thought,  hovr 
comfortable  a  thing  a  christian  friend  would 
.  be,  to  w  horn  I  might  declare  all  that  passed  in 
my  heart  and  would  have  prized  such  an  one 
as  my  greatest  treasure  below,  but  did  not 
then  ever  expect  to  meet  with  such. 

In  my  eighteenth  year,  my  father  died,  and 
in  two  years  after,  I  married....!  had  still  by 
intervals  happy  moments,  and  stings  of  con- 
-science,  I  saw  I  was  not  right,  yet  thought 


(     307     ) 

that  I  was  not  as  bad  as  many ;  and  would 
often  with  the  proud  pharisee,  thank  God  that 
I  was  not  like  such  or  such  a  person,  though 
indeed  I  was  as  bad  as  any.... In  a  little  time 
I  fell  into  some  distress  again  about  my  spiri- 
tual state ;  I  wanted  to  know  assuredly,  if  I 
was  one  of  the  people  of  God,  but  could  not 
find  any  satisfactory  information :  I  looked 
for  the  church  of  Christ  amongst  the  visible 
congregations,  but  could  not  find  any  body  of 
people  whom  I  thought  deserved  the  name ; 
the  body  of  people  to  which  I  belonged,  (the 
Presbyterians,)  were  now  as  I  thought,  the 
most  circumspect  of  all,  yet  could  not  see 
that  even  these  could  be  called  by  this  name, 
seeing  many  things  in  their  common  way  of 
living,  which  I  thought,  must  not  be  accep- 
table to  God.  Thus  distressed  and  bewil- 
dered, I  would  often  cast  myself  before  the 
Lord,  and  beseech  him  if  there  was  any  other 
more  perfect  or  acceptable  way  of  serving  him, 
that  he  would  make  it  known  to  me. 

This  was  my  state,  when  the  Lord  first 
sent  Mr.  Wesley's  preachers  to  Limerick; 
I  saw  Mr.  Robert  Swindels  (who  was  the  first 
of  them  that  came  here  to  preach)   pass  by 


(      308     ) 

my  door  with  a  great  mob  after  him,  who 
hollowed  and  made  a  great  noise,  and  some- 
times personally  insulted  him,  upon  my  en- 
quiring who  he  was,  they  told  m.e  he  was  one 
of  the  people  called  Suadlers,  (a  name  then 
given  in  derision  to  the  Methodists)  of  whom 
I  had  heard  some  random  accounts,  but  had 
no  desire  or  intent  to  hear  him  preach  ;  being 
tenacious  of  my  own  church,  and  her  princi- 
ples, though  indeed  I  knew  not  what  they 
were :  yet  thought  it  a  great  pity  that  a  portly 
well  looking  man,  and  by  every  outward  appear- 
ance a  gentleman » should  be  so  shamefully  used, 
and  felt  a  particular  concern  for  him.... This 
was  the  17th  of  March  1740  and  the  first 
time  that  any  of  these  preachers  had  come 
here ;  nor  was  he  come  to  make  any  stay, 
only  made  it  his  way  to  Cork,  and  was  now 
going  to  stand  up  in  a  convenient  part  of  the 
street  to  preach  :  this  was  in  the  morning 
about  ten  o'clock  :  I  did  not  go  to  hear  him, 
nor  would  my  pride  suffer  me  to  mix  with 
such  a  rabble ;  but  afterwards  hearing  a  gi'eat 
account  of  the  sermon,  from  a  person  who 
was  there,  I  resolved  to  go  in  the  evening, 
when  I  heard  he  was  to  preach  again  ;  which 


(     309     ) 

I  did>  anc}  was  much  affected  ;  I  was  asked  to 
spend  the  evening  in  company  with  him,  my 
heart  was  much  softened  and  affected  by  his 
preaching  and  conversation,  and  was  deter- 
mined I  would  not  miss  another  sermon  while 
he  staid  in  town,  which  was  about  three 
days  :  Thus  did  the  Lord  soften  and  draw  my 
heart  after  himself.  In  about  a  month  after,  Mr. 
Swindels  returned  to  town,  and  finding  many 
here  willing  to  receive  the  word,  he  soon  es- 
tablished a  society,  of  which  I  was  determin- 
ed to  be  one  :  many  things  were  thrown  in  my 
way  by  Satan,  to  frustrate  my  design,  but  the 
Lord  my  God  ^vhose  mercy  still  hoA'ered  over 
me  would  not  suffer  it :  I  was  one  of  the  first 
that  joined,  I  believe  the  first  that  stood  up, 
and  gave  him  my  name ;  indeed  I  did  it  in 
much  fear  and  trembling,  being  exceedingly 
perplexed  by  various  reports  which  were 
brought  to  my  ears  concerning  the  wickedness 
and  cunning  of  these  men,  who  my  friends 
had  stiled  *'  mountebank  preachers."  But  I 
had  set  a  resolution,  that  I  would  not  believe 
any  report,  but  would  hear  and  see  for  myself. 
And  for  this  I  praise  my  God  who  would  not 
suffer  me  to  be  influenced  by  any,   until  he 


(     310     } 

should  fully  establish  my  heart  in  his  truths, 
and  bring  me  to  the  knowledge  of  himself....! 
now  felt  my  sins,  but  did  not  see  clearly  where 
my  remedy  lay,  until  one  day  the  preacher  was 
explaining  these  words....*'  By  grace  ye  are 
saved,  through  faith,  and  that  not  of  your- 
selves, it  is  the  gift  of  God.'*  I  now  set  my- 
self to  hearken  diligently,  and  try  if  I  could 
iind  out,  what  I  so  long  had  been  in  search  of 
namely. . . .  What  true  saving  faith  was,  A  nd 
•as  he  explained  it,  the  spirit  of  God  did  apply 
the  word  to  my  heart,  and  gave  me  both  to  see 
into  the  true  nature  of  faith,  and  tliat  I  was 
wholly  destitute  of  it. 

I  was  particularly  convinced  of  this  sin  of 
unbelief,  I  saw  that  if  I  had  no  other  sin  to 
answer  for,  this  single  one  would  barr  Hea- 
vens gate  against  me.  Indeed  I  felt  the  weight 
of  ail  my  sins,  I  had  no  rest  in  my  bones  by 
reason  of  them,  the  remembrance  of  them 
was  grievous  to  me,  and  the  burden  intolera- 
ble :  I  read  my  condemnation  in  tlie  righte- 
ous law  of  God,  and  could  pronounce  it  just. 
I  saw  that  by  my  original  stain,  I  had  forfeit- 
ed the  divine  favour,  that  my  nature  was  cor- 
rupt diroughout,   in  every  part,   poVAcr,   and 


(  311  ) 

faculty  ;  and  could  produce  only  corrupt  fruit. 
I  saw  also  that  my  very  best  actions  were  a 
proof  of  this,  I  found  that  all  my  boasted 
righteousness  for  which  I  had  formerly  valu- 
ed myself,  were  but  as  filthy  rags  in  the  sight 
of  God;  I  even  abhor'd  them  myself,  they 
vere  my  greatest  burden,  because  I  had 
trusted  in  them  :  And  I  now  found  myself 
miserable,  and  poor,  and  blind  and  naked, 
without  faith,  and  without  God  in  the  world  ; 
and  I  saw  tliat  without  faith  it  was  impossi- 
ble to  please  God,  and  that  I  was  a  condemn- 
ed unbeliever. 

h)  this  manner  I  was  bearing  my  burden 
and  groaning  for  redemption  until  the  21st 
of  Jiu^t  following ;  that  morning,  at  five 
o'clock  meeting,  while  the  preacher  offered 
Christ  freely  to  all,  I  found  my  burden  in  a 
moment  taken  off,  and  my  soul  set  at  liberty  ; 
but  was  still  afraid  to  lay  hold  of  Christ  as 
mine,  by  reason  of  my  unworthiness  ;  I  could 
not  believe  that  my  sins  were  pardoned,  nei- 
ther could  I  disbelieve  :  In  this  manner  I 
was  until  the  23d.  when  conversing  with  the 
preacher  about  the  state  of  my  soul,  the  light 
broke  in  upon  me  in  a  moment,  and  banish- 


(  312  ) 

ed  all  the  shades  of  darkness  ;  All  doubts 
were  done  away,  and  I  could  now  believe  in, 
and  lay  hold  of  Christ  as  mine,  and  appropri- 
ate his  merit  to  my  own  soul ;  the  spirit  of 
God  did  bear  witness  with  my  spirit  that  I 
was  his  child,  and  I  could  say,  '*  he  hath  loved 
mey  and  given  himself  for  ;?2e"...  My  soul  did 
cleave  to  him,  and  I  was  happy  in  his  love  : 
Adoring  and  admiring  this  loving  Redeemer, 
and  in  an  holy  extacy  crying  continually. 
•*  My  Lord  and  my  God."  A  large  scene 
was  now  opened  to  my  view,  the  light  which 
had  broke  in  upon  my  soul,  discovered  to 
me  many  things  which  until  then  lay  hid 
from  my  view.... I  saw  the  dreadfulness  of 
that  state  from  which  I  had  but  just  escaped 
more  clearly  now  than  I  did  before,  and  the 
extent  of  that  mercy  which  deigned  to  die 
for  a  lost  undone  world  !  a  world  of  rebels, 
still  up  in  arins  against  him.  And  even 
whilst  they  persisted  in  their  rebellion,  he  in 
an  astonishing  manner  goes  out  of  his  ordina- 
ry way  to  save  them  from  Hell  1  by  sending 
his  messengers  into  the  streets  and  lanes  of 
the  city,  and  into  the  high-Vvays  and  hedges 
to  invite,  vea  to  comfjd  them   to  come  in  : 


(     -13     ) 

And  that  I  should  be  one  of  them,  whom 
his  messengers  should  call,  and  his  spirit 
compel  was  to  me  the  greatest  mercy  of  all, 
and  matter  of  astonishment  indeed  I  and  of- 
ten caused  me  to  cry  out  O  Lord  why  this 
mercy  to  me  ?  O  my  God,  why  hast  thou 
called  me  and  passed  by  thousands,  why  O 
why  hast  thou  particularised  me  from  the 
guilty  throng  !  The  sense  of  this  overpower- 
ed me  at  times.  Indeed  I  wondered  how  God 
could  have  borne  with  my  impieties  and  pro- 
vocations so  long :  I  saw  that  it  was  impos- 
sible for  human  nature  to  stand  before  him, 
or  any  covering  but  the  righteousness  of 
Christ ;  which  made  my  heart  bleed  for  the 
rebellious  world,  whom  I  had  but  just  left 
behind,  and  saw  still  weltering  in  sin,  and 
drinking  down  swift  destruction....!  praised 
God  for  my  wonderful  escape,  and  for  the  glo- 
rious method  of  his  salvation.  I  saw  by  faith 
my  blessed  redeemer  suffering  in  my  stead, 
that  I  might  go  free.  Reaching  out  his  bleed- 
ing hands  to  me,  saying,  **  I  have  paid  thy 
ransom."  *'  Thy  sins  which  were  many,  are 
all  forgiven  thee.'*  "Go  in  peace."  And  my 
soul  accepted  of  this,  and  approved  of  it,  and 
Dd 


(     314     ) 

desired  no  other  way  of  salvation.../l^he  scrip- 
tures  also  were  opened  to  me,  and  appeared 
as  though  I  had  never  read  them  before ;  the 
seal  was  unloosed,  and  discovered  a  large 
and  glorious  scene. 

The  change  that  God  had  wrought  in  my 
heart  had  changed  all  around  me,  so  that  I 
could  now  see  God  in  all ;  and  with  the  poet. 

"  Mf  ton^ie  broke  out  in  unknown  strains, 
*'  And  sung  surprising  grace  !" 

The  partition  wall  of  unbelief  was  thrown 
down,  and  I  was  given  to  see  into  the  holiest 
©fall,  whither  Jesus  my  Lord  had  entered  be- 
fore for  me,   to  sprinkle  the  mercy  seat  with 
his  blood  on  my  behalf,   that  I   also  might 
enter  in  by  the  same  blood.... And  the  more 
I  viewed  the  goodness  of  God  to  me,  the 
lower  did  I  sink  in  humility  before  him.  Thus 
did  the  Lord  create  peace  in  my  soul,  bring- 
ing order  out  of  confusion,   and  thus  happily 
did  I  go  on  for  about  three  months,  before  my 
inbred  corruption  began  to  appear.     I  then 
saw  my  heart  a  sink  of  sin,  a  cage  of  unclean 
birds,  a  den  of  thieves ;  full  of  pride ,  anger, 
evil  desire,  love  of  the  world,  and  every  other 
corrupt  affection*     And  saw  that   I  had  all 


C     315     ) 

these  united  with  the  powers  of  darkness  to 
encounter  ;  and  not  only  so,  but  also  the  world 
up  in  arms  against  me.... Satan  had  raised 
many  storms,  and  thrown  many  hindrances  in 
my  way,  to  try  if  by  any  means  he  could  turn 
me  back.  But  I  had  stedfastly  resolved  in  the 
strength  of  God,  to  persevere  at  all  events 
....I  w^as  as  a  sparrow  upon  the  house  top,  not 
one  of  all  my  family  or  relations  seeing  the 
necessity  of  being  born  again:  therefore  was 
obliged  to  suffer  much  on  this  account ;  I 
found  the  truth  of  our  Lords  w^ords,  "  All 
that  will  live  Godly  in  Christ  Jesus  shall  suf- 
fer persecution,"  and  **  a  mans  foes  shall  be 
those  of  his  own  household."....!  found  I  was 
now  called  to  suffer..,.!  thought  whilst  !  was 
seeking  the  Lord  that  if  I  could  once  get  an 
interest  in  Christ,  I  should  have  nothing  to  do 
afterward  but  sing  and  rejoice.... But  I  now 
found  that  my  faith  was  given  me  as  a  sword, 
wherewith  I  must  fight  my  way  against  the 
world,  the  flesh  and  the  Devil.... !ndeed  the 
strength  of  these  my  adversaries  did  often 
make  me  fear  exceedingly  :  and  quake  and 
tremble  :  but  at  every  time  the  Lord  did  sus- 
tain me,  and  did  wonderfully  uphold  me  in 


(     316     ) 

the  midst  of  a  thousand  trials,  and  difficul- 
ties, by  the  sweet  visits  of  his  love,  and  a 
clear  sense  of  his  favour.... But  this  evidence 
was  not  always  clear,  I  was  a  poor  unbelieving 
creature,  the  continual  risings  of  my  corrup- 
tions would  often  cloud  my  evidence,  and 
grievously  distress  my  soul,  so  that  I  often 
went  heavily,  mourning  over  my  continual  re- 
voltings,  sometimes  up,  and  sometimes  down, 
according   to    them    words   of   the  hymn; 

'*  Strong^  in  faith,  I  seem  this  hour, 
••  Strip't  the  next  cf  all  my  power." 

The  Lord  did  often  give  me  unquestionable 
evidences  of  his  love,  such  as  would  silence 
all  my  unbelief  of  heart,  and  make  me  cry 
out,  '*  Lord  it  is  enough.^*  But  at  other 
times  my  soul  went  heavily  groping  in  the 
dark,  distressed  and  crying  out  for  God,  often 
cast  down  by  the  risings  of  pride,  Anger, 
anxious  desires,  and  fears  and  cares  about 
temporal  things,  these  continually  brought 
condemnation  and  distress  on  my  soul,  and 
often  caused  me  to  cry  out  in  bitterness  of 
spirit,  *'  O  wTctched  one  that  I  am,  who  shall 
deliver  me  from  this  body  of  death";  the 
weight  of  these  my  corruptions  pressed  me  tp 


(     317     ) 

he  earth,  and  grew  every  day  still  more  heavy ; 
I  began  now  to  see  the  necessity  of  that  holiness, 
without  which  none  shall  see  the  Lord ;  for  I 
saw  I  was  unholy  throughout,  a  miyacle  of  grace 
and  sin !  pardoned,  yet  still  alas  unclean. 
•...I  saw  that  the  justification  of  my  person 
would  not  do,  without  the  sanctification  of 
my  nature ;  but  how  this  should  be  accom- 
plished I  was  quite  ignorant,  and  had  no 
hopes  of  being  delivered  until  I  came  to  die, 
w^hich  made  me  earnestly  long  to  lay  down 
my  body,  that  I  might  also  lay  down  my  sin. 
I  was  weary  of  my  life,  because  of  my  pro- 
pensity to  sin,  and  would  be  content  that  God 
should  even  deny  me  the  consolations  of  his  spi- 
rit, if  he  would  but  keep  me  from  sining  against 
him.  Thu:3 1  continued  sometimes  mourning 
and  sometimes  rejoicing,  but  continually  bear- 
ing my  burden  until  the  year  1757.  Indeed  lo 
.sometime  before,  I  saw  a  possibility  of  being  de- 
livered from  sin  even  in  this  life,  and  was  some* 
times  filled  with  sweet  expectatio;".s  of  it,  yet  it 
seemed  still  at  a  great  distance.  But  about  this 
time  the  promise  was  brought  nigh :  I  saw 
that  God  w^as  as  willing  to  sanctify  the  unholy 
as  he  was  to  justify  the  ungodly,  and  the 
D  d  2 


(      318      ) 

tidings  of  this  was  sweet  to  my  souL...I  wts 
weary  of  my  burden  and  longed  to  lay  it  down.      I 

"'  Weary  of  this  wai*  within, 
*  Weary  of  this  endless  strife, 
"  Weary  of  myself  and  sin  j 
"  Wear)'  of  a  wretched  life."  i 

I  wanted  to  love  my  God  with  ail  my  heart, 
but  found  I  could  not,   so  long  as  the  carnal 
mind  remained  j  which  made  me  groan  for      | 
deliverance,  and  rejoice  at  the  prospect  of  its 
being  near. 

I  was  now  particularly  stired  up  to  seek  a 
total  deliverance  from  all  my  inbred  corrup- 
tions, and  encouraged  to  hope,  as  I  found 
that  God  was  just  at  this  time  blessing  his  people 
in  a  vronderful  manner  ;  purifying  their  hearts 
by  faith.  And  that  several  in  England  and 
Ireland  (some  of  them  in  the  country  soci- 
eties near  Limerick)  had  just  now  made 
profession  that  God  had  cleansed  their  hearts 
from  all  sin  :  and  many  earnestly  pressing  af- 
ter it.  My  soul  also  was  filled  with  earnest 
hungering  and  thirsting  after  it :  Mr.  Olivers 
who  was  then  our  stationed  preacher  was  also 
much  stired  up  to  preach  it,  and  press  it  home 
tipon  the  society,  but  there   were   but  few, 


(     319     ) 

very  ^w  who  could  receive  his  testimony  :  I 
think  only  two  more  and  I ;  and  we  three 
used  to  meet  often  to  confer  together,  and 
were  all  on  full  stretch  after  this  blessing.... 
But  were  as  yet  equally  ignorant  of  the  na- 
ture of  that  grace  which  we  so  earnestly  de- 
sired ;  but  the  sight  we  had  of  our  inbred 
corruptions  made  us  miserable  without  it, 
and  in  the  bare  prospect  of  our  deliverance, 
we  enjoyed  unspeakable  comfort :  but  as  in 
this  we  were  singular  from  all  the  society 
(which  I  believe  consisted  of  near  three  hun- 
dred persons;)  my  friends  in  the  Society 
began  to  fear  for  me,  least  I  should  go  too 
far,  and  as  they  did  not  see  either  the  pro- 
bability, or  necessity  of  having  their  hearts 
cleansed  from  sin,  they  began  to  take  some 
pains  with  me,  until  they  had  partly  reasoned 
and  partly  laughed  me  out  of  my  earnestness. 
Thus  was  the  fervour  of  my  desires  abated, 
and  some  of  my  friends  rejoiced  at  my  de- 
liverance....Now  was  I  more  miserable  than 
before,  my  corruptions  stood  still  before 
me,  and  pressed  my  soul  to  the  dust,  and  Sa- 
tan brought  continual  condemnations  against 
me  for  the  sinfulness   of  m    heart ;    and  so 


(    .32€» 


great  was   my   ignorance  that    I  continually 
accused  myself  for  what  I  felt,  but  could  not. 
help  :...the  Lord  did  often  bear  his  testimonY 
with  my  Spirit  that  I  was  his  Child. 
But  the  reasonings  of  my  enemy,  the  strength 
of  my  corruptions,  and  the   unbelief  of     my 
heart,  was  ever  questioning  ihe  work  of  Go  J 
on   my   soul,  and   grieving  his  spirit,    and 
caused  me  in  the  midst  of  blessings  to  be  un- 
happy ;  the  fears  of  deceiving  myself  robbed 
me  of  the  blessings  which  I  had  in  possession, 
and  my  unbelief  brought  on  me  unthankful- 
ness,  and  then  hardncis  of  heart,   until  a  kind 
of  stupification  had  overspread  my  whole  soul ; 
and  I  became  less  watchful,  less  tender,  less 
circumspect,  until  I  first  lost  the  witness  and 
then  the  consolations  of  God's  spirit :... Indeed 
the  Lord  did  not  leave  me  all  at  once,  but  the 
visits  of  his  love  grew  shorter  and  seldomer, 
until  at  length  I  was  left  wholly  destitute  of 
any ;  yet  even  then  the   Lord  did  not  suffer 
me  to  fall  into  outward  sin,  or  to  quit  his  peo- 
ple, or  the  means  of  grace.     But  having  lost 
the  presence  of  God,  and  being  truly  sensi- 
ble of  my  loss.    I  became  completely  misera- 
ble ;  the  wretchedness  of  this  my  state,  as  a 


(  321     ) 

ghost  haunted  me  continually,  Yet  how  to  be 
delivered  from  it,  I  knew  not ;  my  greatest 
struggles  were  fruitless  efforts,  I  could  do  no- 
thing but  sin  and  grieve..,. In  this  state  I 
bore  the  weight  of  a  class,  and  band  ;  the 
burden  of  which  had  almost  sunk  me  into 
the  earth.  I  made  several  applications  to  the 
preachers  to  take  them  from  me,  but  all  re- 
fused, and  I  dare  not  obstinately  give  them 
up,  least  in  so  doing  I  should  sin  against 
God.... It  is  indeed  remarkable  that  I  seldom 
had  either  power  or  comfort  in  prayer  during 
this  state  of  deadness,  except  in  my  band 
and  class,  and  seldom  without  it  there:.... 
Blessed  be  my  good  and  gracious  Lord,  who 
did  not  leave  me  to  myself  in  this  my  most 
grievous  state.... Thus  I  continued  more  mis- 
erable than  words  can  express  for  near  two 
years,  'till  in  the  year  1762  Mr.  Wesley  came 
to  tliis  town,  and  again  revived  the  doctrine 
of  holiness  of  heart ;  this  was  as  a  dagger  to 
my  very  soul,  because  of  my  own  fallen  state  : 
the  beauty  of  holiness  stood  continually  be- 
fore me,  and  served  as  a  clear  mirror  to 
shew  me  more  truly  my  own  darkness,  I 
^aw  the  desirableness  of  that  happy  state,  but 


-(      322     ) 

alas  it  was  far  out  of  my  reach,  it  appeared  to 
me,  as  the  chilclrens  bread,  which  dogs  like 
me  must  not  touch,  until  Mr.  Wesley  in  one 
of  his  sermons  described  my  state  much 
clearer  than  I  could  myself,  and  then  encour- 
aged such  to  seek  the  Lord  both  for  justifi- 
cation and  sanctification,  saying  that  God  was 
able,  and  could  give  the  two  blessings  at  once, 
and  that  he  did  not  find  it  said  any  where,  in 
scripture  that  he  would  not ;  these  words  came 
with  power  to  my  heart,  and  I  was  determined 
to  seek  the  Lord  with  all  my  might,  and  ne- 
ver to  rest  until  I  had  received  some  bles- 
sing from  him,. .From  this  time  I  found  pow- 
er to  wrestle  and  strive  with  God  in  prayer, 
and  in  a  few  weeks  after,  whilst  I  was  at  pray- 
er the  Lord  did  heal  my  backslidings,  giving 
me  power  to  believe  in  him,  and  a  steadfast 
assurance  of  my  acceptance  through  Christ ; 
and  filled  my  heart  with  abundance  of  peace 
and  love.... Yet  1  could  not  rest  here,  I  soon 
felt  the  corruptions  of  my  heart,  and  could 
not  be  content  with  less  than  a  total  deliver- 
ance....The  Lord  had  greatly  revived  his  work 
amongst  us  at  this  time,  and  was  deepening  it 
in  the  hearts  of  his  children,  he  had  enabled 


(     223      ) 

soliie  to  testify  that  the  blood  of  Christ  cleau- 
seth  from  all  sin,  and  others  were  earnestly 
seeking  alter  it.  This  made  me  cry  the  more 
mightily  to  God,  least  the  shower  should  pass 
away  and  my  soul  remain  un watered. 

Yet  here  again  the  fears  of  deceiving  my- 
self  made  me  prescribe  rules  to  God ;  I  was 
not  content  to  receive  this  gift  in  his  own 
way  :  Indeed  I  was  very  ignorant  of  God's 
manner  of  working  this  grace  in  the  heart, 
and  therefore  looked  for  it  to  come  with  obser- 
vation, and  could  not  be  content  to  re- 
ceive it  in  the  small  still  voice,  least  I 
should  deceive  myself.  The  Lord  did 
at  this  time  abundantly  bless  my  soul,  by 
pouring  in  large  manifestations  of  his  love  ; 
I  searched  for  my  corruptions  but  could  not 
find  them;  my  soul  rejoiced  continually, 
and  could  find  nothing  in  my  heart  but  love 
to  my  God,  and  a  continual  breathing  after 
him.... The  rapture  of  my  soul  would  some- 
times awake  me  out  of  sleep,  and  keep  me 
awake  most  part  of  the  night ;  and  found  it 
often  spoke  into  my  heart,  that  God  had  ful- 
ly wrought  my  deliverance  :   But  here  I  m  ould 


(     324     ) 

Start  again  from  it,  with  fear  least  I  should 
deceive  myself. 

The  time  that  I  first  found  this  change 
wrought  in  my  heart,  was  at  prayer  whilst 
I  was  earnestly  \^Testling  for  Holiness  of 
heart,  when  by  a  sudden  act  of  faith  I  was 
enabled  to  lay  hold  on  the  promise,  and  to 
rejoice  in  my  deliverance  ;  being  very  hap- 
py in  my  soul :  but  coming  from  prayer, 
was  immediately  pursued  by  the  enemy  with 
showers  of  doubts  and  fears,  which  put  me 
to  a  stand,  not  knowing  whether  to  yield, 
or  keep  my  hold,  I  took  the  Bible  beseech- 
ing the  Lord  to  give  me  a  text  on  which  I 
might  take  hold  in  this  time  of  my  exigence, 
and  opened  on  Mark  11  &  24  "  therefore 
I  say  unto  you,  what  things  soever  ye  desire 
when  ye  pray,  believe  that  ye  receive  them, 
and  ye  shall  have  them. "...This  brought 
much  comfort  to  my  soul,  and  I  was  ena- 
bled  for  some  time  to  believe  but  soon  shuf- 
fled aside  by  giving  way  to  doubts  and  fears, 
though  my  soul  remained  abundantly  happy, 
loving  my  God  and  rejoicing  in  him... Some 
time  after,  being  distressed  about  my  state 
not  knowing  whether  to  lay  hold  on  the  tes- 


C     325     ) 

limony  I' found  in  my  breast,  of  my  heait 
being  made  clean,  or  to  yield  to  the  doubts 
and  fears  which  continually  haunted  me  ;  in 
this  state  least  my iself  before  the  Lord  in  prayer, 
beseeching  him  to  answer  for  himself,  and  re- 
eeived  then  a  strong  assurance,  that  the  work 
was  done ;  but  my  enemy  still  pursued  me 
with  fears  least  I  should  deceive  myself,  and 
as  all  this  was  wrought  on  my  soul  in  much 
stillness,  I  fear'd  least  it  should  not  be  genu- 
ine, and  calling  to  mind  others  who  had  re- 
ceived this  blessing  with  much  rapture  and 
extacy  of  soul ;  I  said  if  the  work  on  my 
soul  was  right,  I  also  should  receive  it  in  the 
same  manner.  Thus  distressed,  and  not 
knowing  whac  to  conclude,  I  took  the  bible, 
beging  an  answer  in  this  matter,  and  opened 
into  1  Corinthians  126  &  **  and  there  are  di- 
versities of  operations,  but  it  is  the  same 
God\\h\Q\\  workcih  all  in  all,^'* 

Surely  this  should  have  silenced  all  m}- 
unbelief,  but  my  cunning  adversary  would 
not  suffer  me  to  rest,  but  kept  me  still  doubt- 
ing telling  me  these  4exts  came  only  by 
chance,  and  not  as  an  answer  of  prayer.  Some 
sho!t  time  after  this,  I  vvas  writing  to  a  chris- 
E  e 


(     326     ) 

tian  friend,  who  desired  to  know  my  state^ 
and  being  thus  tossed  about  by  doubts  ancT 
fears,  I  knew  not  what  to  say.     My  soul  was 
continually  very  happy,   yet  kept   constantly 
tjuestioning  about  my  state ;  so  that  I  fear'd 
concluding  at  the  one  side  or  the  other  :    this 
day  whilst  I  was  writing  to  my  friend,  I  was 
much  agitated  whether  I    should   relate  to 
him  all  my  experience  or  not,  when  all  on  a 
sudden  the  Lord  did  pour  such  a  measure  of 
his  love  into  my  heart,  as  I  was  scarcely  able 
to  contain  ;  and  was  constrained  to  quit  my 
^^riting,  and  go  to  prayer :  and  had  then  a 
strong  testimony  in  my  breast  that  the  Lord 
had  taken  the  bent  of  backsliding  out  of  my 
heart ;  but  this  was  followed  by  such  strong 
reasonings  to  the  contrary-,  and  fears  of  deceiv- 
ing myself,  that  put  me  again  to  a  stand,  so 
that  I  knew  not  what  to  say  to  my  friend  con- 
cerning my  state.     Being  thus  exceedingly 
perplexed,  I  cried  out  as  in  an  agony.  *'  Lord 
shew  me  what  thou   Mouldst  have  me  do". 
It  was  immediately  cast  into  my  mind,  since 
I  would  not  believe  God   in  any  other  wa}-, 
.to  go  7ionx)  to  the  bible,  and  see  what  he  should 
say  to  me  on  this  head ;  but  was  afraid  to  da 


(  327  0 

this,  least  I  should  oftendGod  by  putting hioi 
*o  often  to  the  proof;  thus  agitated  I  sat 
down  to  finish  my  letter  but  could  have  no 
rest  until  I  would  open  the  Bible,  and  see 
what  God  would  have  me  do. 

Then  taking  the  bible,  and  requesting  the 
Lord  to  guide  me  right,  I  opened  it,  on  Ro- 
mans X.  &:  loth.  '*  With  the  heart  man 
believeth  unto  righteousness,  and  with  the 
itiouth  confession  is  made  unto  salvation'' 
Here  surely  my  request  was  fully  answered, 
and  my  mouth  should  have  been  stopped  ; 
but  my  adversary  would  not  let  me  rest,  but 
kept  me  still  reasoning,  doubting,  and  fearing; 
and  puting  away  the  blessings  of  God  from 
me,  and  was  at  last  determined  not  to  receive 
this  blessing  whilst  it  was  accompanied  with 
xloiihts  or  fears  ; ,  thus  my  ignorance  block'd 
up  my  way  still,  until  by  degrees  I  lost  my 
fervor  of  spirit,  and  the  sweet  communion  I 
enjoyed  with  God  ;  and  again  found  the 
strength  of  my  corruptions  even  as  before. 
Now  I  could  look  back,  and  see  what  I  had 
lost  by  suffering  unbelief  to  prevail  and  not 
iiccepting  God  on  his  own  terms.  The  Lord 
<lid  not  withdraw  his  pard^pning  mercy  from 


(     ^^8     ) 

iiic,  1  iVLLUiicd  a  scii^e  of  u\\  iic:cq)Uiiicc 
ihroiiijh  Christ,  and  was  happy  in  liis  love  ; 
but  could  not  rest  there,  and  was  detemiined 
I  vjoidd  t.ot.  The  weight  of  my  inbred  sin 
w  as  grie\'Ous  to  be  borne  ;  my  soul  was  even 
pressed  under  the  load... .Indeed  tlie  Lord 
did  aLR}rd  m.e  graeious  visits  of^ylns  love,  butr 
:his  could  not  satisfy,  so  long  as  his  enemies 
remained  in  my  heart ;  so  long  as  I  found  it 
bent  to  backslide  from  him.  I  saw  that  I  did 
not  love  God  with  all  my  heart  ;  m}  husband, 
and  children  were  idols  set  up  in,  and  kept 
the  place  that  God  should  ha\  c  ;  neith.el'  could 
I  by  any  means  tear  tliem  thence,  though  I 
laboured  hard  to  do  it.  INIy  distress  Avas  in- 
deed ver}'  great,  and  often  ^^Tought  impatience 
in  my  heart  even  against  God  :  When  the 
eai"nestness  of  my  soul  would  not  let  me  see 
why  God  should  delay  the  blessing  I  so  anx- 
iously sought  after,  one  moment  longer....! 
was  now  ^\  illing  to  receive  God  in  his  own 
vray,  and  on  his  own  terms  ;  ^\'illing  to  be 
any  thing,  even  to  die,  if  only  by  death  I 
might  be  delivered ;  and  was  determined  I 
would  not  rest  without  it :....!  was  resolved 
by  ^he  grace  of  God  that  nothing  should  hin- 


(  329  ) 

der  on  my  part,  and  therefore  lopped  off  every 
thing  in  my  practice  that  appeared  even  doubt- 
ful to  me.  Thus  I  continued  earnestly  strive- 
ing,  and  my  soul  unspeakably  happy,  until 
the.  22d.  of  May  1763,  being  Whitsunday. 
My  heart  had  been  much  drawn  out,  in  earn- 
est and  sweet  expectation  for  some  days  be- 
fore, that  God  would  on  that  day  visit  my  soul, 
and  make  it  a  pentecost  indeed  to  me.  Under 
these  expectations,  I  attended  the  Lords  table, 
and  being  on  my  knees  before  I  went  to  the 
altar,  I  laid  my  case  before  the  Lord,  deplor- 
ing my  wretchedness  by  reason  of  the  contin- 
ual revoltings  of  my  heart  from  him  :  Be* 
seeching  him,  that  he  would  do  any  thing  with 
me,  only  to  save  me  from  sining  against  him* 
My  soul  was  indeed  in  deep  distress,  and  my 
state  appeared  to  me  like  that  of  the  Lepper  at; 
the  Pool  side ;  both  as  to  my  disorder,  and 
my  utter  helplessness  and  inability  to  arise  i 
and  from  a  feeling  sense  of  this  my  state,  my 
soul  cried  the  more  earnestly  after  Christ, 
having  nothing  to  plead  but  my  wretchedness, 
and  seeing  Him  pass  by  who  only  could  help 
me;  when  these  words  of  our  Lord  were 
spoke  to  my  heart,  "  Bclievest  thov,  that  I 
Ee  2 


(     330     ) 

am  able  to  do  this",  my  soul  eagerly  answer- 
ed, "  Lurd  I  do  believe  thou  art  ^ble",  the 
^vord  came  again.  ''  Be  it  unto  thee  according 
to  thy  faith".. ». Here  1  was  enabled  to  lay 
hold  for  a  moment ;  but  unbelief  came  in, 
and  raised  disturbance  in  my  breast,  and  I 
eould  only  cry.  "  Lord  make  me  believe. 
Lord  give  me  stronger  faith,  I  believe  thou 
art  able.  Lord  I  believe  thou  art  able  ;  and 
I  will  hold  thee  here  until  thou  givest  me 
more."  Thus  I  went  to  the  table  of  the  Lord, 
my  soul  breathing  out  in  earnest  desires  and 
expectations,  still  crying  "  Lord  I  believe 
thou  art  able",  and  in  receiving  the  memo- 
rials, my  soul  was  enabled  to  lay  hold  on 
Christ  for  my  complete  salvation  from  all  sin. 
But  my  busy  enemy  still  pursued  me,  and 
would  feign  have  plucked  it  from  me,  so  that 
my  soul  kept  grapling  as  it  were,  to  keep  her 
hold  :  and  awhile  prevailed,  and  then  almost, 
lost  hold,  and  then  up  again.  In  this  manner 
I  came  from  the  communion  with  my  soul 
exceeding  happy,  but  closely  exercised.... 
Then  arose  a  question  in  my  mind,  '*  But- 
what  particular  grace  is  it  that  I  have  been  so 
eagerly  wrestling  for  ?"  I  answered,    '^Thiit* 


(      331      ) 

I  should  have  power  to  live  without  sining 
against  God."  The  question  came  again, 
**  But  where  is  the  Scripture  for  this  ;  there 
has  none  been  given  to  me."  Then  immedi- 
ately came  that  Scripture  to  my  mind,  ^' Sin 
shall  not  ha^oc  dominion  over  youJ^''  This 
brought  much  comfort  to  my  soul,  and  I 
strove  to  stay  me  on  the  promise  ;  thus  I 
continued  grapling  hard,  sometimes  up,  and 
sometimes  down  until  the  2d.  of  June,  when 
being  at  private  prayer,  I  besought  the  Lord 
to  deliver  my  soul  from  the  power  of  my  ad- 
versary, and  that  he  would  give  me  to  feel 
that  entire  salvation  in  him^  which  my  soul 
thirsted  after.... Whilst  I  thus  prayed,  the 
Lord  did  remove  all  my  burden,  and  enlarg- 
ed my  heart,  and  admitted  me  to  a  closer 
communion  with  him  than  ever  I  had  before  ; 
then  I  said,  I  will  now  ask  to  have  my  idols 
taken  out  of  my  heart  ;....But  whilst  I  sought 
them,  they  were  gone  !  taken  away  in  a  mo- 
ment !  and  their  place  so  filled  with  God,  that 
there  was  no  room  for  any  thing  beside.  O 
how  shall  I  describe  what  I  then  felt !  Indeed 
it  is  past  the  power  of  tongue  to  utter,  ,or 
'thought  to  conceive  ;  and  can  only  be  known 


(      332      ) 

to  those   who  have  experienced  the  like.... I 
sought  for  my  husband  and  children  in  my 
heart,  (that  is  I  examined  whether  my  heart 
was  in  any  degree  so  bound  up  in  them,  as  to 
seperate  any  part  of  it  from  God)  But  they 
were  given  up  to  God,  and  my  soul  so  filled 
with  his  love,  that  I  was  constrained  to  cry 
out :   "  Lord  Jesus,  thou  art  the  only  object 
*'  of  my  soul,  thou  hast  taken  possession  of  my 
"  heart,  and  there  is  no  room  for  any  beside 
**  thyself,  thou  art  my  portion,  my  only  trea- 
**  sure,  and  as  such  my  soul  with  all  her 
"  strength  lays  hold  on  thee,  instead  of  every 
**  other  good ;  giving  up  every  other  comfort, 
^*  for  thee  my  God^  my  Jesus,  my  all.''  Thus 
did  my  soul  breath  after  God,  being  wraped 
up  in  his  love,    and  brought  to  such  a  sweet 
nearness  and  union  with  him  as  I  never  be- 
fore experienced....!  was  now  again  brought 
as  it  were  into  a  new  world  ;  my  desires,  my 
aifections,  and  every  faculty  of  my  soul,  was 
as  it  were  new  moulded.  The  scriptures  were 
again  opened  to  me,  and  I  was  given  to  see 
more   clearly  into  their  spiritual   meaning, 
and  every  promise  therein  contained  was,  as 
I  read  them,  sealed  upon  my  heart,  yea  and 


(      ?3J     ) 

amen:.... The  people  of" God  were  now  more 
than  ordinary  dear  to  me,  the  name  of  Jesus 
I  found  indeed  as  Ointment  poured  into  my 
soul,  so  that  my  heart  did  even  dance,  and 
felt  an  uncommon  emotion  of  joy;  at  barely 
hearing  the  name  of  Jesus  pronounced :  The 
h\v  and  purity  of  God,  was  precious,  very 
precious  to  me  ;  my  soul  cried  out  with  the 
Royal  Psalmist....**  O  how  I  love  thy  law?*. 
I  now  found  an  entire  deliverance  from  those 
evil  tempers,  affections  and  desires,  which 
before  were  so  grievous  to  me:  and  could 
now  see  clearly  that  I  did  love  the  Lord  my 
God  with  all  my  heart,  without  one  negative 
in  my  whole  soul ;  and  could  see  my  will 
wholly  brought  under  subjection  to  his  divine 
will,  so  that  my  heart  cried  continually,  *'  thy 
will  be  done'\ 

My  love  to  God,  was  now  quite  of  another 
kind,  from  that  I  had  ever  before  experienc- 
ed ;  more  pure,  entire  and  disinterested, 
without  any  mixture  of  self,  indeed  the 
change  cannot  be  described.  I  was  very 
happy  before  it,  under  a  sense  of  the  pardoning, 
love  of  God,  of  my  acceptance  through  Christ: 
and  had  often  sweet  access   to  him  by  faith. 


(      33i     ) 

But  what  I  now  experienced,  under  the  full 
influence  of  sanctification,  did  as  far  exceed 
what   I  felt  in    a  justified   state,   as   what    I 
then  experienced     did    what  I    felt  when    I 
was    first    seeking    redemption ;    the  things 
which   I  found  before    grievous   to  me,    and 
which  occasioned  me  in  the  midst  of  com- 
forts    to     be   unhappy     (I  mean-  the   cor- 
ruptions   of  my   nature)    were    now    taken 
away,  the  bent  of  backsliding  was  taken  out 
of  my  heart,  so  that  it  did  naturally  and  conti- 
nually cleave  to  Christ,  breathing  after  him, 
and   longing  to  be  wholly  united  to  him  :  and 
my  soul   was  allowed  sweet,  near,   and  free 
acces  s  to  him.    Thus  did  the  Lord  bring  me^ 
worthless  and  unworthy,  to  the  glorious   li- 
berty of  his  children  :....But  though  I  was 
thus  abundantly  happy,  yet  I  found  that  I  had 
not  got  out  of  the  reach  of  my  adversary ;  he 
was  continually  bringing  in  a  train  of  doubts, 
and  fears,  upon  me,  which  I  was  obliged  to  car- 
ry to  Christ  to  answer :  and  often  to  stand  as 
it  were  sword  in  hand,  that  I  might  not   be 
overcome.. ..It  was  often  objected  in  my  mind, 
may  I  not  feel  a  total  deliverance  from  all  sin, 
or  inclination  to  evil,   and  my  heart  filled  with 
love  to  God  and  man,  and  yet  my  heart  not  be 


(      335      ) 

cleansed  from  sin  ?     May  there  not  be  a  sus^ 
pension  without  a  total  deliverance?  These  and 
many  other  questions  which  arose  in  my  mind, 
made   me  earnestly   desire   that  God  would 
give  the  testimony  of  his  spirit,  to  the  work  he 
had  wrought ;  this  I  thought  I  might  claim  on 
the  warrant  of  that  word.../'  We  have  receiv- 
ed the  spirit  that  is  of  God,  that  we  may  know 
the  things  that  are  freely  ghen  to  us  of  God^\ 
The  experience  of  others  who  could  rejoice 
in  this  testimony  encouraged  me  to  ask  for 
myself,   believing  that  God   would  give   it, 
and  therefore  was  encouraged  to  wrestle  the 
more  earnestly ;  and  on  the  29th  of  June  as 
I  was  at  private  prayer,  and  determined  not  to 
give  up  until  I  had  obtained  my  request :  my 
soul  was  brought    near  to   God,     and    im- 
portunate   for     this    blessing,     when    these 
words   were    spoken  to  my  heart.../'  What 
ivouldst    thou  that    I  should   do  for    thee'*'*. 
I  answered  '*  Lord  that  I  might   be  made 
clean"  the  word  came  again,  "  /  w?7/,  he  thmi 
x/<f^;/"...this  came  with  power  and  assurance, 
so  that  I  was  enabled  to  praise   God  for  cleans- 
ing my  heart  from  sin,  this  was   accompa- 
nied with  a  ray  of  divine  light  by  which  I 
could  discover  mv  heart,  and  see  no  sin  in 


(     336     ) 

it ;  the  same  light  by  which  I  before  could 
see  my  heart  all  sin,  now  discovered  it  whol- 
ly cleansed  and  given  up  to  God ;  indeed  I 
know  not  how  to  describe  this  testimony,  it 
was  as  a  light  brought  suddenly  into  a  dark 
room,  by  means  of  which  one  might  dis- 
cover every  thing  in  the  place  :  this  was  also 
accompanied  with  much  sweetness,  confi- 
dence and  delight  of  soul,  and  made  me  go 
on  my  way  rejoicing  for  some  time  :  but 
Satan  still  thrust  sore  at  m^e,  and  seemed 
determined  to  make  my  path  as  thorny  as  he 
could,  he  raised  grievous  trials  against  me, 
from  without ;  such  as  I  never  had  before  to 
struggle  with,  and  such  as  I  think  I  could 
not  have  borne  in  my  former  state  :....but  in 
all  I  found  my  God  ever  near:  but  most 
grievous  of  all  was  his  inward  temptations, 
continually  questioning  the  work  of  God  on 
my  soul.  In  this  case  the  subtilty  of  my 
enemy,  and  my  o\^  n  ignorarxe  often  brought 
me  into  great  distress. 

Indeed  the  testimony  of  God's  spirit  did 
Mill  continue,  and  shone  on  my  heai  t,  some 
times  with  a  clearer,  and  sometimes  with  a 
fainter  light  :...but  finding  many  things  in  the 


(    oS7     ) 

course  ef  my  experience,  which  I  did  not 
expect  to  find  in  that  state,  together  with 
the  fears  of  deceiving  myself  (which  still 
haunted  me)  made  me  ready  to  hearken  to  the 
voice  of  the  enemy,  when  I  should  be  simply 

believing   in  Jesus Thus  I  continued  in- 

expressibly  happy,  yet  foolishly  giving  way 
to  doubts,  and  fears,  and  questioning  the 
work  of  God  on  my  heart,  notwithstanding 
so  many  clear  evidences  ;  until  I  again  lost 
this  witness ;  after  ha^dng  retained  it  for  above 
fifteen  months.  I  did  not  indeed  lose  my 
grace,  blessed  forever  be  my  God,  he  did  not 
suffer  me  to  fall,  though  he  punished  me 
for  ray  folly,  by  withdrawing  this  comfort, 
able  testimony  of  his  Spirit.  Now  I  could 
look  back  and  see  what  I  had  lost  by  heark- 
ening to  the  reasonings  of  my  enemy  :  the 
want  of  this  blessing  proved  the  value  of  it ; 
I  could  not  now  sec  the  work  of  God  on  my 
heart,  any  other  way,  than  by  its  own  light, 
which  was  not  always  clears  and  therefore 
could  not  satisfy.  This  caused  much  sor- 
row, and  stired  me  up  to  ask  of  God,  that  he 
would  again  restore  this  comfortable  witness 
of  his  spirit,  that  ''  I  might  know  the  thinsp^ 
F  f 


(     838     ) 

tfiit  were  freely  given  to  me  of  God."  Thus 
did  I  continue  for  about  a  year,  I  was  indeed 
happy  in  God,  but  often  under  a  painful  un. 
certainty  concerning  my  state  (that  is  con- 
cerning my  sanctification,  for  indeed  the 
witness  of  my  justification  was  continual- 
ly clear  since  the  22nd.  of  May  1763* 
without  one  doubt  concerning  it)  at  times  I 
say,  the  work  shone  by  its  own  light,  but  at 
other  times  I  feared  least  sin  should  still 
lurk  in  my  heart,  and  this  thought  pained 
my  very  soul. 

This  was  my  state  when  } ou  my  friend, 
Requested  that  I  would  give  you  in  writing  an 
account  of  my  experience.  Your  request 
made  me  cry  the  more  earnestly  to  God  for 
the  witness  of  his  spirit,  that  I  might  see 
clearly  the  present  state  of  my  soul :  when 
four  days  since,  w  hile  I  was  writing  part  of 
this,  I  w^as  struck  w  ith  a  sentence  I  had  just 
wrote ;  in  an  instant  the  hght  broke  in  upon 
my  heart,  and  I  was  enabled  to  believe  :  this 
was  accompanied  with  Peace,  Comfort,  and 
Joy :  and  afterward  it  w^as  (at  prayer)  made 
indisputably  clear  to  me,  that  God  had  ta- 
ken possession  of  my  heart,  and  that  it  was 


(     339     ) 

^.ovv  wholly  given  up  to  htm,  and  still  I  am 
enabled  to  see  it,  and  believe;... though  Satan 
does  endeavour  to  distress  my  mind  by  bring- 
ing in  many  doubts  upon  me;  but  I  trust  my 
God  will  enable  itie  to  keep  my  hold,  and 
stand  by  faith  ;  the  enemy  of  my  soul  does 
strew  my  way  with  thorns,  but  my  Blessed 
Jesus  does  enable  me  to  believe  in  him,  and 
by  faith  to  conquer  every  difficulty,  and  an- 
swer every  objection  which  Satan  suggests ; 
J  do  not^  nor  ha^e  not  found  since  the  Whit- 
sunday before  mentioned,  any  thing  in  my 
heart  contrary  to  pure  love  ;  no  love  of  the 
World-  no  evil  Desire,  Pride,  Anger,  or  un- 
belief: Indeed  I  do  find  sorrow,  and  trouble, 
and  grief,  for  many  things,  as  the  occasions 
occur ;  and  in  those  things  where  I  used  to  find 
anger  beset  me,  I  now  find  grief  and  sor- 
row, without  any  condemnation,  I  am  always 
more  or  less  happy  ,  but  at  no  time  unhappy, 
having  a  continual  abiding  sense  of  God's  fa- 
vour ;  I  have  no  fear,  but  that  of  a  sweet 
comfortable  fear  of  offending  God. 

But  alas  !  I  see  I  come  short,  in  e^cry 
thing,  of  what  I  should  be;  in  faith,  in  meek- 
ness, in  patience,  in  long  suffering,  in  resig- 


(     340     ) 

nation,  in  humility,  in  love,  Indeed  in  ever^ 
grace.  I  see  that  every  thing  I  say  and  do, 
might  be  better  said,  and  better  done :,...!  see 
my  continual  need  of  the  application  of  the 
blood  of  Christ  to  my  soul ;  indeed  I  never 
did  see  so  great  a  need  of  it  as  now,  and  am 
enabled  through  grace  to  fly  to  it  continually, 
and  do  feel  it  applied  to  my  heart,  and  atoning 
for  all  my  short  comings,  and  this  lays  my 
^cui  lew  at  the  feet  of  my  gracious  redeem- 
er ;  abhoring  myself,  and  leaving  all  I  have, 
and  am  behind,  that  I  may  lose  myself  in  the 
extent  of  bis  m.ercy ;  vrho  deigned  to  look 
on  so  poor,  so  worthless,  so  insignificant  a 
being  as  I  am :  And  not  only  so,  but  still  to 
pursue,  follow,  entice  and  entreat,  and  may  I 
not  say  even  to  force  me  back,  after  a  thousand 
revolts.  Indeed  I  am  astonished  at  this,  and 
can  only  say.  ^^  He  has  loved  me,  because 
he  is  love'\...0  may  I  walk  meekly  before 
him,  all  my  days,  who  hath  enabled  me  here 
to  set  up  my  Ebenezer  and  say,.../'  Thus' 
iar  hath  my  God  helped  me". 

Thus  my  dear  friend  I  have  given  you  a 
minute,  but  imperfect  account  of  the  deal- 
ins^s  of  God  with  my  soul.      It  is   indeed 


(     341     ) 

throughout,  a  history  of  my  rebelUon,  and  an 
instance  of  the  long  suffering  and  patience  of 
God.,.. Indeed  I  have  often  thought  that  tlje 
Lord  has  had  more  trouble  with  me,  than  with 
any  other  soul  that  ever  lived.... What  I  am,  1 
am  by  his  meer  unmerited gv2ic^  and  mercy,  and 
to  ban  my  soul  desires  to  give  the  glory,  and 
never  to  lift  my  head  but  as  a  lost  undone  sin* 
ner,  saved  by  his  free  grace  alone. 

In  what  I  have  here  written,  I  have  endea- 
voured to  speak  as  clearly  as  I  could,  so  that 
though  you  do  not  understand  English  well, 
I  hope  you  will  be  enabled  to  read,  and  un- 
derstand this  without  an  interpreter.... Upon 
reading  it  over,  I  find  many  things  in  it  which 
need  mending,  but  shall  now  leave  it  as  it  is : 
I  know  it  would  not  bear  the  eye,  of  the  curi- 
ous or  critic  ;  but  am  not  careful  about  this, 
if  in  any  degree  it  may  be  made  a  blessing  to 
your  soul,  at>  the  writing  it  has  been  to  mine  : 
I  am  dissatisfied  at  the  length  of  it,   yet  did 
not  know  which  part  I  could  leave  out,  I  have 
indeed  for   this  reason  omitted  many  things 
which   otherwise  I   would  have  mentioned, 
and  might  be  profitable.... But  be  it  as  it  is, 
let  it  be  a  demand  on  you  for  your  prayers  ; 
F  f  2 


(     342     ) 

I  have  muck  need  of  them,  and  hope  when 
you  are  in  a  distant  kingdom,  tiie  Lord 
will  bring  me  to  your  mind,  and  I  trust  I  also 
shall  remember  you. 

I  am  my  dear  friend  yours  in  our  common 
Lord^ 

ELIZA  BENNIS. 


Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  died  in  Philadelphia, 
June  1802. ...Aged  77  years,  after  struggling 
with  severe  and  unexpected  trials,  nearly  the 
last  twenty  years,  through  which  her  confi- 
dence in  God  continued  unshaken,  her  natu- 
ral chearfulness,  and  evenness  of  temper  una.- 
bated,  and  her  end  was  Peace. 


(     343     ) 


THE  Publisher  truly  grateful  for  the 
very  liberal  encouragement  this  work  has 
received;  regrets  not  being  able  to  form  a 
correct  list  of  the  Subscribers,  Several  friends 
who  had  received  subscriptions  having  for- 
warded  the  numbers  but  not  the  names.... also 
several  subscription  papers  in  country  towns 
not  being  yet  returned.... and  believing  that 
no  list  is  better  than  an  imperfect  one,  has  (by 
the  particular  desire  of  a  few  friends)  instead 
thereof,  given  two  Poems,  written  by  the 
late  Mrs.  E.  Bennis,  (and  copied  from  her 
Journal).... Which  he  hopes  will  be  found 
more  pleasing  and  profitable  than  an  useless 
list  of  oamesi. 


(     344     ) 

A  WISH 

Should  Gob,  indulgent  now  but  grant 
IVIy  WISH,  and  fill  up  ev'ry  want ; 
Speak  as  to  Solomon  from  Heaven, 
"  Ask  vvhat  thou  wilt,  it  shall  be  given." 

Say,  O  my  soul,  what  would'st  thou  have  ? 
Look  round,  upon  the  rich  and  brave, 
Examine  v/ell,  look  round  again. 
Nor  throw  thy  Wish  away  in  vain. 

Behold  what  beauteous  scenes  arise 
Of  Rich  and  Fair,  of  Great  and  Wise, 
Sure  here's  enough,  would  Reason  say, 
Thy  Wish  need  not  be  thrown  away. 

Or,  if  thou  woulds't  be  more  than  great, 
In  annals  fame'd  for  Wisdom's  seat, 
For  Riches,  Power,  and  for  all 
The  product  of  this  earthly  ball. 
See  Solomon  amidst  his  train, 
Favour'dof  God,  admired  by  men  ; 
Earth  at  Ivs  feet  her  treasure  poui^, 
Nor  War  disturb  his  peaceful  hours. 

Around  him  wailing  pleasures  press, 
Prevent  his  call,  and  croud  to  please  ; 
A  pattern  he  of  Happiness, 
Say  would'st  thou  now  all  this  possess  ? 

Ah  NO,  vexatious  all  and  vain. 
Deceitful  pleasure  !  gilded  pain  ; 
He  who  had  all  these  at  his  call' 
Wrote  VANITY  upon  them  all ! 


(^    345     > 

Npr  gildied  roofs,  nor  Regal  state, 
Nor  all  that  can  be  fancied  great, 
Or  Wise,  or  FamM  my  soul  desires, 
Far  higher  still  my  wish  aspires. 

Too  mean  are  all  earth-born  delights, 
Pure  heav'nly  J05-S  my  soul  invites  ; 
And  Asks  while  prisoned  in  this  clod, 
A  nearer  union  with  my  God. 

That  evVy  moment  I  might  feel 
His  Love,  and  know  I  do  his  will; 
Might  find  no  slackness  on  my  part. 
But  praise  flow  constant  from  my  Heart' 

I  ask  no  portion  here  below, 
Content  with  what  my  God  bestow, 
But  should  I  ask,  I  sav'd  would  be 
From  Riches,  Sin  and  Poverty. 

A  middle  state  l*d  choose,  where  free 
From  Want,  or  Popularity, 
In  frugal  neatness  I  would  live 
Possessing  more  than  Earth  can  give. 

No  Airy  visitants  intrude 
My  happy,  blissful  solitude, 
Whose  trifling  chat  might  pain  my  heart, 
And  leave  me  wounded  when  they  part, 

Few  and  select  my  Friends  should  be,. 
Dear  to  my  Jesus,  and  to  me ; 
Whose  holy  converse  still  would  prove 
A  furtherance  to  my  Faith  and  Love. . 


(     34G      ) 

But  joined  in  holy  Friendship  One, 
I,  like  my  Lord  would  have  my  John,^- 
My  chosen,  Friend,  my  other  part, 
And  next  to  Jesus  in  my  heart. 

Whose  Vigilant  and  Impartial  love, 
Should  mark  my  faults,  and  then  reprove  ; 
Should  all  my  griefs  and  comforts  share 
One  Heart,  one  mind,  and  one  in  pray'er 

His  Love  unchangeable  and  free, 
Faithful  and  true  to  God  and  me  ; 
A  Friend  in  ev'ry  state  the  same, 
And  worthy  of  that  Sacred  n2imt» 

Thus  happy  in  my  God  and  friend, 
I'd  wait  'till  life's  short  journey  end  ; 
Then  with  my  friends  above  appear, 

To  have  my  Wish  compleated  there. 

E.  B. 
February  ^17(^, 

*  Some  se]ect  Christian  Friend. 


(    -^r    ) 
A  FAREWELL  TO  THE  WORLD. 

Farewell  gay  World,  fond  scene  of  false  delight, 
Nolorgernow  thy  fiatVing  charms  invite  ; 
Too  long  amus'd,  beguil'd,  ensnarM  by  thee, 
With  Siren  art  in  willing  slavery. 

But  rousM  at  length  by  sounds  of  danger  near, 
Great  Sinai  roar'd,  and  wakened  all  my  fear  ! 
Fierce  Thunders  roll  !  and  Horrors  ghastly  throng 
I  wakM,  and  wonder 'd  how  I  slep'c  so  long  ! 

My  silken  cords  now  grievous  chains  appear'd, 
No  voice  of  mirth,  but  dismal  sounds  were  heard  ; 
Realities  break  in  (the  change  how  great !) 
And  shew  the  former  vision  all  a  cheat; 

AshamM,  confus'd  bewilder'd  at  the  sight, 
I  fain  would  fly  !  but  chains  prevent  my  flight ; 
I  fain  would  hid#,  but  chain  J  I  cannot  move, 
And  struggling  make  my  chains  more  galling  prove, 

'Til  spent  with  fruitless  unavailing  strife 
My  woes  increase,  and  end  my  wretched  life, 
Expiring,  hopeless,  friendless  loud  I  cried, 
•'  Have  mercy  Lord,  I  yield,  I  yield,"  and  Died. 

Then  Mercy  found  when  yielded  up  my  breath.' 
My  God  step'd  in,  and  rescued  me  from  Death  ; 
Knock'd  ofi'my  chains,  rais'd  up  my  drooping  head, 
Gave  me  a  Kiss  of  peace,  and  smil'd  and  said  ; 
"  O  slow  of  heart,  why  did'st  thou  doubt  my  Love  ? 
'^  Who  ne'er  to  any  Soul  ungracious  prove, 
"  In  vain  thy  struggling  'til  my  aid  I  give, 
*'•  y/ho  yields  shall  conquer,  and  who  dies  shall  live. 


(  348     ) 

Come  follow  Me,  be  faithful  and  receive 
The  Crown  which  I  to  faithful  victors  give; 
My  Love  shall  guard  thee  m  the  trying  hour, 
Have  Faith  in  Christ,  nor  fear  the  tempters  power. 

Then  led  me  forth  into  the  open  light, 
Where  scenes  of  wonder  strike  my  ravish'd  sight : 
A  new  Creation  all  around  appears, 
Myself  new  Create,  new  hopes,  new  joys  new  fears. 
So  late  emergM  from  Darkness,  Chains  and  Death, 
I  view  myself,  and  scarce  believe  I  breathe ! 
Fall  prostrate,  and  with  grateful  heart  adore, 
Disstress'd,  and  pained  that  I  can  do  no  more. 

Ah  Lord!  I  cried,  thy  Mercies  great  and  wide 
Surround,  and  close  rr^e  in  on  ev'ry  side, 
Beneath  the  weight  of  Gratitude  I  mourn, 
But  nothing  have  to  render  in  return. 

How  shall  I  all  thy  loving-kindness  shew  ? 
"WTiat  woulds't  thou  have  a  worthless  nothing,  do  f 
Thou  know'stfor  thee,  I  would  with  all  things  part  - 
My  Lord  replied,  *'  I  only  ask  thy  heart." 

Alas,  I  said,  where  will  thy  Mercies  end  ? 
How  truly  art  thou  stil'd  the  Sinners  Friend! 
Ten  thousand  heaits  like  mine  could  not  repay 
The  smallest  favour  of  the  darkest  day  ! 

My  heart  which  longs  to  be  entirely  thine, 
Into  thy  hands  I  willingly  resign  ; 
That  Love  which  rescued  from  the  depths  o/Hellt 
Hath  bound  it  now,  forever  to  thy  will. 


(     349     ) 

Resolved  by  thy  Grace  no  more  to  stray, 
O  let  that  Grace  support  me  in  my  way  j 
Freely  I  ev'ry  other  good  resign 
And  take  my  God,  instead  of  all  for  mine. 

O  happy  choice !  my  soul  exulting  views 
The  Blissful  prospect  which  my  faith  pursues, 
Boundless  beyond  what  human  can  conceive  I 
Nor  terminates  in  less  than  God  can  give. 

Again  adieu,  vain  world  of  Noise  and  Shew, 
Where  nought  but  sorrows  in  succession  grow  > 
Delusive  scene  of  unsubstantial  bliss  ! 
Which  Judas-like,  betrayeth  with  a  kiss. 

Henceforth  Farewell,  thy  once  allureing  smile, 
No  longer  my  unweary  Heart  beguile  ; 
No  other  pleasures  now,  my  soul  would  prove 
"But  those  pure  Joys,  which  flow  from  Jesu^'  love. 

For  him  alone  I  evVy  good  forego, 
Of  pleasure,  profit  or  ought  else  below, 
My  lot  with  my  despised  master  take. 
Bear  his  reproach,  and  suffer  for  his  sake. 

In  him  alone  substantial  bliss  I  find, 
Earth  with  its  Gilded  toys  I  cast  behind  ; 
Through  Grace  divine  enabled  to  repel. 
And  bid  this  World,  Eternally  Farewell. 

E.  B. 

January  1,  1772. 

THE  EKB. 


CONTENTS. 


Letter.  Pacz, 

1.  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to  tlie  Rev.  John  Wesley  .       .      5 

2.  Rev.  John  Wesley  to  Mrs,  Eliza  Bennis  .         11 

3.  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to  the  Rev.  John  Wesley  ,                l5 

4.  Rev.  John  Wesley  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  .         If 

5.  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to  the  Rev.  John  Wesley     .  .     19 

6.  Rev.  John  Wesley  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis      .  .        23 

7.  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to  the  Rev.  John  Wesley  ,         .    25 

8.  Rev.  John  Wesley  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis         .  .         27 

9.  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to  tlie  Rev.  John  Wesley  .       .    29 

10.  Rev.  John  Wesley  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  .       .         32 

11.  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to  the  Rev.  John  Wesley  .       .    33 

12.  Rev.  John  Wesley  to  Mrs,  Eliza  Bennis         .  .         26 

13.  Rev.  John  Wesley  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis         .  ,     37 

14.  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to  the  Rev.  John  Wesley  .      ♦         38 

15.  Rev.  John  Wesley  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis       .  .     40 

16.  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to  the  Rev.  John  Weslej'  .             41 

17.  Rev.  John  Wesley  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis           .  .    4$ 

18.  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to  the  Rev.  Jolin  Wesley  .             45 

19.  Rev.  John  Wesley  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis         .  .     .    48 

20.  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to  the  Rev,  John  Wesley  .             49 

21.  Rev.  John  Wesley  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  .     5.3 

22.  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to  the  Rev.  John  Wesley  .             55 
^3.  Rev.  John  Wesley  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis           ,  .     58 

24.  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to  the  Rev.  John  Wesley  .           6Q 

25.  Rev.  John  Wesley  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis           .  .    64 

26.  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to  the  Rev.  John  Wesley  .           66 

27.  Rev.  John  Wesley  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis           .  .    67 

28.  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to  the  Rev.  John  Wesley  .            67 

29.  Rev.  John  Wesley  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis         .  .      7© 
50-  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to  the  Rev.  John  Wesley  71 


31.  l^e/.  John  Wesley  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Beuuls         -  .    f^ 

52.  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to  the  Rev.  John  Wesley  75 

33.  Rev.   John  Wesley  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  •     76 

^4.  Mrs.  Eliza  Btr.nls  to  tlie  Rev.  John  Wesley  77 

.>5.  Rev.  JoJjn  Wesley  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis          .  .     79 

36.  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to  the  Rev.  John  Wesley  .           iO 

37.  Rev.  John  Wesley  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis         -  -     82 
C  8.  Mrs- Eliza  Bennis  to  the  Rev.  Jolin  Wesley  -            82 

39.  Rev.  John  Wesley  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis         .  -     85 

40.  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to  tha  Rev.  John  Wesley  -             ^6 

41.  Rev.  John  Wesley  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis           -  -     87 

42.  Mrs.  EiizaBs.mistothe  Rev,    John  Wesley  -          S3 

43.  Rev.  John  Wesley  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Beni'.i.n           -  -     89 

44.  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to  tlie  Rev.  John  Wesley  -           90 

45.  Rev.  John  Wesley  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis           -  -     92 

46.  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to  the  Rev.  John  Wesley  -           94 

47.  Rev.  John  Wesley  to  Mrs.  EHza  Bennis           -  -     96 

48.  Mrs  Eliza  Bennis  to  tlie  Rev.  John  Wesley  -          98 

49.  Rev.  John  Wesley  to  Mrs  Eliza  Bennis           -  -101 
.50.  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to  the  Rev.  John  Wesley  .          103 

51.  Rev.  John  Wesley  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis           -  -    106 

52.  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  tdthe  Rev.  John  Y/esIey  -         107 

53.  Mrs.  Eliza.  Bennis  to  the  Rev.  Joim  Wesley  -  -     lOD 

54.  Rev.  John  Wesley  to  Mrs.  Elizi  Bennis  -         111 

55.  Mr.  Thomas  Walsh  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis       -  -    112 
56    Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to  Mr.  Thomas  Walsh  -           113 

57.  Mr.  Thomas  Walsh  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis       -  -     114 

58.  Mr.  Thomas  Walsh  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  -          119 

59.  Mr,  Thomas  Olivers  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis         -  -     121 

60.  Mr.  William  Penington  to  Mrs.  Eiiza  Bennis  .         123 

61.  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to  Mr.  V/illiam  Peningtcn  -       124 

62.  Nr.  Tho  mas  Trsvlor  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis        -  -  126 
S3.  Mr.  Richard  Blackwell  to  Mrs-  Eliza  Bennis.  -      130 

64.  Mrs,  Eliza  Benras  to  Mr.  Richard  Elackv.cll  -  -    131 

65.  Mr.  Ilichird  Blatkwcllto  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  133 


46.  Mr.  Richard  Bourke  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bcnnis      .  .  to4 

67.  Mr.  Joh:i  Dillon  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis         -  -       1S6 

68.  Mr    JoiiM  Dillon  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis     -         -  -137 

69.  Mr.  John  Dillon  to  Mrs,  Elixa  Bennis          -  -     140 

70.  Mr.  John  Dillon  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis      -         -  -141 

71.  Mr.  John  Dillon  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  -  -  -  143 
f2.  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to  Mr.  Hugh  Saunderson  -         145 

73.  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to  Mr  J(^hn  Cliristian        -  -     149 

74.  MrSv  Eliza  Bennis  to  Mr.  John  Christian  -  -  -151 
t5.  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to  Mr.  John  Christian  -  -  15$ 
T6.  Lieut.  Ciiarlse  Jones  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis     -  -     163 

77.  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to  Lieu.  Charles  Jones     -  -       104 

78.  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to  Mr.  R.  T.        -         -         -  -  168 

79.  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to  Mr.  R.  T.  -  -  -  -  171 
SO.  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to  Mr.  R.  T.         -         -        -  ..  173 

81.  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to  Mr.  R.  T.         -         -  -       177 

82.  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to  Mr.  Jonathan  Hern         -  -  181 

83.  Mr.  Jonathan  Hern  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis     -  -      182 

84.  Mr.  John  Bristol  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis     -        -  -  186 

85.  Mr.  John  Goodwin  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis      -  -       189 

86.  Mr.  Samuel  Bradburn  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis     -  -   191 

87.  Mrs.  Ehza  Bennis  to  Mr.  Samuel  Bradburn  -  194 
SB.  Mr.  John   stretton  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis         -  -     199 

89.  Mr.  John  Stretton  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis     -  -         201 

90.  Mr.  John  Stretton  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis         -  -     202 

91.  Mr.  John  Stretton  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis     -  -        204 

92.  Mr.  John  Stretton  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis         -  -     206 

93.  Mr.  John  Stretton  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis      -  -         209 

94.  Mr.  John  Stretton  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis         -  -    214 

95.  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to  Mr.  John  Stretton  -         217 

96.  Mr- John  Stretton  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis         -  -     222 

97.  Mrs.  Ellzn  Bennis  to  Mr.  John  Stretton     -  -        226 

98.  Mr.  John  Sfretton  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis         -  -     £3^ 

99.  Mr.  John  Stretton  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  -  -  237 
100.  Mr.  John  Stretton  to  Mrs.  Eli/a  Bennis         -  -     ^40 


lOi.  Mr.  John  Stfetton  to  Mrs.  EUza  Bennis    -  -       2ft 

102.  Mr.  John  Stretton  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis        •  -    245 

103.  Mr.  John  Stretton  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis    .  -        247 

104.  Mr  John  Stretton  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis          -  -    25B 
lOS-  Mr.  John  Stretton  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis     -  •        255 

106.  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to .—     -        -  -    256 

107,  Rev.  J  F.  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis          -         -  -        260 
108    Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to  the  Rev.  J  F.         -        -  -     261 

109.  Rev.  J.  F  to  Mrs  Eliza  Bennis         -        -  *        265 

110.  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to  the  Rev.  J :    F.      -        -  -    265 

111.  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to  Major  -  -        269 

112.  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  to -        -        -  -     2  75 

113.  Mr.  John  M'Gregor  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis  -  -        280 

114.  Mr.  Richard  Condy  to  Mrs  Eliza  Bennis        -  -    285 

115.  Mr.  Richard  Condy  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis   -  -        287 

116.  Mr.   Walter   Griffith  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis      -  -    289 

117.  Mr.  Joseph  Cr.  to  Mrs.  Eliza  Bennis         -  -        292 

118.  Mrs,  Eliza  Bennis  to  Mr.  J.  Cr 297 

119.  Mrs  Eliza  Bennis  to  Mr. -        -  .        299 

A  Wish          -        -        -        -         -        .        -  -    344 

A  Farewell  to  the  World  ...        .  -        547 


NOW  preparing  for  the  press ^  an  ex* 
tract  from  the  journal  of  the  late  Mrs,  Eliza 
Bennisy  from  March  174t9  to  March  1780....^/«- 
mg  a  concise  account  of  the  dealings  of  God  with 
hery  her  trials,  exercises,  and  deliverances^  includ-^ 
ingsome  remarkable  circumstances  of  Providence  y 
to  which  will  be  added  a  short  account  of  her  last 
sickness  and  Death, .^Intended  to  be  published  in 
One  Volume^  Duodecimo,  about  S5p  pa^^s,,,. 
Price,  One  Dollar^  Bound, 


500  5 


8 


^x-' 


!iM^v*ti'l*miNi4iit*ith 


